The Life and Lies of The How-To Manual

I’ll keep the story short. I don’t exactly have time for commodaties such as tales of woe. Plus, I don’t want to relive everything that happened. In fact, I’ll write it down in the how-to manual:

How to be put in the hospital permanently:
1.Go to Autumn’s house.
2.Watch movies and listen to Tony complain that Autumn needs to stop throwing pillows off the bed when they sleep.
3.Watch Autumn fiddle with her wedding ring happily as she yells back at him that she can do what she wants and that he need to make lunch.
4.Half-way through the movie, you’ll feel dizzy. Prepare for the worst.
5.Your nerves will freeze.
6.You’ll be paralyzed.
7.Don’t worry, the worst hasn’t come.
8.Your vision goes blurry and you’ll shake until Autumn screams for help.
9.You’ll watch in mute panic (don’t fret-your communication system just shut down) as Tony rushes to call an ambulance and Autumn squeezes your hand.
10. It’ll go dark.
11. Congrats. You’re now in the hospital for your last time.

And that’s how I woke up in my own little bed. I was woozy. I couldn’t see anything. I was confused why my meds had stopped working. Everything was dark.

“Honey?” A voice asked next to me. Mom.

“Hey, Mom.” I whispered feebly. Her hand latched onto mine. I could feel the tears on her damp skin. She sniffled quietly.

“Did you remember to take your meds?” She asked. I nodded and heard her sob. I could feel her shake in my grasp. I reached up, patting her shoulder tenderly.

“I did. I did.” I whispered in defeat. At least through all of this, I had gotten my speech back. There was a sliding door sound and a pair of footsteps. Who could it be?

“Willow, it’s Dr. Chase and Dr. Cameron.” The male’s accent sounded off in the open room. I could tell it was open by the way there was a slight echo to it. I attempted to search for the origin of the sound.

“Oh, hello again.”

“You’ve been out for about a day. We’ve taken some blood samples and run other diagnostic tests as well as an MRI to see if we could locate anything in your brain. We did scans in the MRI to show which parts of the brain were active and functioning..” Dr. Cameron told me. A squeak hissed from a nearby chair as it was pulled to the side of my bed. Where was Jaime?

“And?” I asked nervously.

Silence. There had to be a wordless conversation going on between the two doctors.

“Your brain was darker than most normal brains. Like we suspected, your vision has gone out again, another dark area on the scan, and your movement was dim as well, although not completely dark.”

I felt tears prick against my eyes.

“Any other areas?” I questioned, choking back the oncoming river of tears that I would soon drown in.

“Just your sight was the only completely dark area. Your movement and speech was dim. Your ability to use these might fade or go away completely. We’re starting you on some stronger meds right now to try and help regain use of all functions, even the ones that have blacked out completely.” The doctors responded, but their voices were far away. I was muted with the pain of what I was hearing.

“Will that cure me?” I shook, wiping away tears with heavy arms.

More silence.

“No, but it will buy us some time to diagnose you and hopefully find the underlying cause.”

My mom broke in. She squeezed my hand too hard. “T-time? Is it that serious? Does she not have enough?” My mom sobbed, not even controlling her tears.

“We’re going to do our best.” And then, they were gone, faded out like some of my functions and disappearing until further notice.

All I could hear were sobs in the room, just from one voice, the only voice that really mattered and the only voice here with me. The tears echoed all over the tiled floors and fell damp like rain against my bed sheets. I touched her hand again.

“Mom, I’m going to be fine.” But I didn’t really believe the words myself, did I?

It was hours later when they would finally let Jaime and the other in to see me. I had fallen in and out of sleep over those periods of time. My headache had numbed to a dull roar, but I couldn’t lose it completely.

The boys exploded into my room. I wouldn’t be surprised if the walls burst into spontaneous flames, to be honest. They didn’t yell or scream, but they did cry and they did just run in. They weren’t that loud, but their footsteps boomed down the hall. I knew it was them.

I had woken up to the sound of elephants and now I was fully awake as they surrounded my bed.

“Are you doing alright?” Mike was the first to ask.

“Yeah, Aunt Willow. Are you doing alright?” Rena and Toddy mimicked. I chuckled.

“Did I get a promotion while I was away?” I smiled. I could almost, almost, see Mike just rubbing their heads tenderly, like a father might ruffle his children’s hair.

“You were only out for a day, but the kids haven’t seen you in a week.” I had almost forgotten about them! Over the past month, Mike had been the official foster parent for the two orphaned kids. He was a very good father, really! I had frequently visited his house and played with the two little kids, but I hadn’t ever really been called an aunt before.

“Well now I feel special.” I patted one child’s shoulder, trying to reassure the unknown face.

“Hey, butt-queef. Your mom gave us the news.” Vic chirped in miserably. I sighed, closing my eyes against the onslaught of sorrow.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. They’re going to figure out what’s wrong.” I reassured the lie easily. There was sighs but no one objected. Maybe they didn’t want to scare the kids. Maybe they didn’t want to accept reality.

“Hey you, guys run too fast…” Jaime panted, slightly out of breath. I heard his footsteps slow to a stop. The room was quiet.

“Hey, Himes.” I smiled, tears already filling my eyes.

“He knows.” Autumn whispered to me. I chuckled at the sound of her voice, a single drop of salty sadness escaping.

“We’ll give you time.” Tony murmured. The sliding door clicked to a close as they all filed out. Jaime sat on the edge of the bed. I felt myself sink a little under the weight.

“Jaime, they won’t be able to fix me.”

“Don’t say that.” He sobbed, already broken down into tears. I leaned forwards against the pain in my head and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him bury his face into my shoulder, sobbing out his miseries.

I was calm.

Too calm.

I knew that I was dying. I knew my days were numbers. I knew that I should’ve had a full life ahead of me, but I am calm. I don’t know why, but I have accepted my fate and I will know that I have a wasted future tossed into the trash. I have accepted facts as facts and now all I can do is wait for it to happen.

Meanwhile, Jaime was a blubbering baby on my shoulder.

I sighed, a few more tears trickling down my cheeks. He squeezed me right against his chest. I felt his ‘homeless man hair’ tickle my cheek and smiled at the thought of Vic insulting his mane of brown hair. I would miss that.

“They’re going to fix you. It’s going to be alright. We’ll go stargazing when you can see again, when you’re out of here. I know you’ve always wanted to do that.” He cupped my cheek in his hands. I’m so glad I’m blind right now. I hate to see Jaime sad and now I won’t be able to.

Notes

GRAB YOUR TISSUES. YOU WILL NEED THEM.

But besides that...hello everyone!

I just want to warn you that this story is coming to an end!!! :( It'll be your last chance to get your comments in on the last few chapters that will soon be coming. Please, please, PLEASE vote and comment about this!

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