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The Life and Lies of The How-To Manual


Ding has graduated from high school, learned a thing or two about speaking, and has joined PTV as the "official unofficial assistant to the bassist". She's on tour with the boys, has gotten into a great college, and even managed to graduate early.

Things should be easy from now on out, right?

Not when your vocabulary hasn't expanded since the Olivia incident.

Join Jaime Preciado and the Mighty Ding as they face their greatest adventure yet. When a terrible accident happens to MD, she's left with a horrible disability, yelling seasons, and the question of why oranges are colors and fruits. Although this incident may seem as only something that might be temporary, it's done more damage than they thought.

This might be MD's last year...alive.

Can she make it count?


Autumn Warren

Autumn Warren

Autumn is the blue haired friend of MD and is dating a Turtle. Typically resorting to violence against people she's annoyed by, she's willing stand up for others who hurt her friends, especially those who make fun of Ding. Did you ever hear of little Jimmy who teased MD? Yeah, didn't think so...

Jaime "Himes" Preciado

Jaime "Himes" Preciado

Who's got the hair of a homeless man, is a sexican, and is dating MD? Jaime, of course! Top Google searches: Jaime Preciado's Hair

Liza Caston

Liza Caston

She is mom. She is THE mom. Liza is the mother of MD and acts as the mother to the boys when they need a parent around. She's not afraid to stand her ground. A pan is her favorite weapon.

Mike Fuentes

Mike Fuentes

Mike is a jokester and drummer for PTV. He often has plans that involve planes to third world countries and Mike loves to help his friends. He met Rena at an arcade/pizza parlor and meets her to play Skee-Ball.

Rena Christenson

Rena Christenson

Rena is a little girl Mike met in the arcade. She's an expert at Skee-Ball and won over Mike's heart by giving him a stuffed Rottweiler puppy he calls Shut Up.



He's the little gentleman that Willow met in the Elitches Amusement Park. His parents don't really care about him. He's a sweet child who helps 'Miss Willow'.

Tony "Turtle" Perry

Tony "Turtle" Perry

He's not Tony. He's not even human. He's a Turtle. Please reference him as such! He's dating Autumn, who he loves dearly.

Vic Fuentes

Vic Fuentes

Frequently called butt-queef, he's the sexican with the hair that Turtle thinks looks like a girl's. Anyways, he's the lead singer of PTV, best friends with the boys, MD, and Autumn.

Willow "Ding" "MD" Caston

Willow "Ding" "MD" Caston

Ding, or MD as she is commonly called, is a friend of PTV. She started off only making doorbell noises (and confusing many people with these) but has gradually learned some words. She's got a talent at breaking in and out of buses and is dating Jaime.


  1. How To Buy a How To Manual

    (Or the time when the plumbing broken and Alfred offered me a great manual)

  2. How To Break Down a Tour Bus Door

    (Or the day when Turtle left the keys in the bus and I became a karate master in two minutes)

  3. How To Create a Friendship

    (Or why I get scared every time Jack Barakat gets near the bus)

  4. How to Get Drunk Like Vic Fuentes

    (Or the time that we partied with All Time Low, but the fun isn't over yet...)

  5. How to Survive a Pillow Fight with Turtle and Autumn

    (Or the games that we played at midnight)

  6. How to Survive a Day in the Undercarriage

    (Or what happened when I managed to get my pencil, manual and write a quick little entry)

  7. How to Cuddle Like Autumn

    (Or the day I was finally rescued!)

  8. How to Fly

    (Or the moment when I learned why we can't)

  9. How to Drive a Bus Like an Determined Jaime Preciado

    (Or when he decides that enough is enough and nothing can stop him)

  10. How to Run Ten Miles in Fifteen Minutes

    (Or what happened when PTV left without ATL)

  11. How to Feel Like You're Losing Everything

    (Or when we got the bad news)

  12. How to Become a Superhero

    (Or that moment I realized I was Iron Man)

  13. How to See in the Dark

    (Or when I found out that lights won't help, even if they are on)

  14. How To Die

    (Or when Jaime found out that MD wasn't going Camel Racing)

  15. How to "See" Like a Blind Person

    (Or when Zack and Rian were really sweet to me)

  16. How to Swim

    (Or when I didn't want to swim but Jaime convinced me, that asschip!)

  17. How to Take Care of Willow Caston

    (Or when Jaime let the others know of the big news and I got my head stuck in a shirt)

  18. How to Find a How-To Manual

    (Or when my mom called at one in the morning and I was sleep drunk)

  19. I'm Really Sorry, Guys!

  20. How To Love a Liar

    (Or when we "persuaded" Jules and I went to play "chess" with a dirty little cheater)

  21. How to Forgive Jaime Preciado

    (Or when I found out that I can only stay mad at him for three weeks. No longer.)

  22. How to Find Out You're Dying

    (Or when Jaime was Pedro and I became an Intern to Insanity)

  23. How to Escape a Prison

    (Or When Jaime locked me in the bus and I am the inevitable BA)

  24. How to Be Partners in Crime

    (Or How I Found Toddy, well, He Found Me, Actually)

  25. How to Ride A Rollercoaster Like Toddy

    (Or When I Had to Let Him Go)

  26. How To Prank Victor Vincent Fuentes

    (Or When I could See the Light Once Again)

  27. How To "Persuade" People

    (Or When Jaime Got Heatstroke)

  28. How to Seduce Jaime Preciado Into Doing What You Want

    (Or When I Done-Diddly-Do-Da-Done It)

  29. How To Find True Love

    (Or the moment when I fireworks went off, literally and figuratively.)

  30. How to Marry a Turtle and a Season

    (Or When Jaime Wanted to Do the Do and I wanted to Do the Sleep.)

  31. Would You Please Help Me Out and Do This Awesome Thing, Please?? :)

    I have some exciting news and I'd love if you would help me out!

  32. How To Find the Light Switch (Or Nah)

    (Or That moment that I realized that I wasn't going to be able to find it for a while...)

  33. How to Find Out That There's No Hope

    (Or When I couldn't tell Jaime my favorite ice cream flavor)

  34. How To Become a Dad

    (Or When I Met Toddy...again)

  35. How to Be Admitted to a Hospital Permanently

    (Or when I realized that this truly was the end of the Mighty Ding)

  36. How to Watch Angels Fall

    (Or when Jaime stole me)

  37. How to Find the Love of Your Life

    (Or When I Said Yes)

  38. How to Die

    (Or the last moments I lived as the Mighty Ding)

  39. How to Take Care of Jaime Preciado (Because I Won't Be There Anymore)

    (Or the last entry of Ding's How-To Manual)

  40. How to Hold a Funeral for a Friend

    (Or when they cried, but the cake was good)

  41. How to Haunt Your Friends

    (Or when I figured out that my adventures never really ended.)


Oh my god ;-; As I was reading the ending, like her dying and the funeral and all, i'm listening to pandora. And See You Again by Wiz Khalifa started playing and now my feels are broken :.c

Alleigh Byrd Alleigh Byrd

O.O I'm so, so sorry about your loss :( It hurt me and made me cry just writing this. I couldn't imagine going through it. I'm happy and appreciate that you loved the story and you could connect to it, even though it was connected with a painful memory. I hope you're having a good day despite the story ending and reliving memories. :) You're welcome and stay amazing, beautiful :) <3

I'm so happy you loved the story! I sure hope I'll have time to write make Willow's story a trilogy and write a third story to this series, but I'm really happy that it was one of the best fanfics you've ever read! You're very welcome and thank you!

hahaha I feel you there! :) Thank you!

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf

Pshhhhh I'm not crying I just got something in my eyes......

Loved this story omg

Lawhora Lawhora

Oh my gosh! I can not even express how much I've adored this story. Ik it's a fan fiction but it's certainly one of the best I've ever read. It made me laugh, upset, and cry. You, love, gave me feels with your words. Thank you!

piercingirisash piercingirisash

Ok so you have a lot to answer for considering it’s 2 am, I have to be up in 3 hours and I’m bawling my eyes out.
If you see this, thank you for writing such a beautiful story in both this and the first part. Even though it was fanfiction, I connected with it, having just lost my cousin to a brain tumour that basically turned him into Willow. He lost most of his basic function in a very similar way to Willow, and then died in the final hours of his 16th birthday, a year after diagnosis. The way you wrote this made me relive that, and your writing took me on a journey
TL:DR I'm crying, thank you. <3

inamityswake inamityswake