The Life and Lies of The How-To Manual

The walk out of the hospital was numbing. I couldn’t believe it. It was finally happening: I was dying.

I looked down at the bottle in my hands, hoping that suddenly my vision would come back to me, I would be healed, and rainbows would flood the earth. I guess we don’t get everything we want.

“Jaime?” I asked softly. I swore I heard him sniffle.

“Yes, baby?” He asked just as quietly. I held out my hand, waiting for him to take it. His hand gentle attached to mine, his rough fingers running over my skin.

“You don’t need to worry about me. They said the medicine will help. I might even get my vision back if I stay on the pills regularly. You don’t need to worry about me.” I told him. His hand took mine and let me roll my fingers over the door handle. I grasped it gently.

I heard him sigh, sniffle, and sigh again. I reached up, touching his face very gently. I felt my fingers come away wet. He was crying. I wrapped my arms around his shoulder, holding onto my pill bottle with an iron grip.

“You’re mine and you’re hurting and I don’t want to see you in pain.” He sobbed. I kissed his jaw, biting back my own tears. I don’t care about my own pain. I don’t care about how much I will hurt and how quickly I will die. I just don’t want to hurt Jaime and I just don’t want to see him in pain.

God, put me in all the pain you can, just spare him.

“I’m going to get better. They’re going to do their best to help me get better. They might be able to fix me.” I sniffled. He shook his head and buried his face deeper into my shoulder. I held him as we both shook. We’re not okay.

“I just want you to be better.”

“Me too, Himes.” I kissed the hollow under his ear as I pulled away, getting into the car slowly.

The drive was silent for the most part. The radio was the only thing between us. I fumbled with the pill bottle, scooping out two pills as directed, and dry swallowing them. I might as well start now. There was no point to wait until tonight. I was supposed to take two little green pills twice a day. What fun.

Note the sarcasm.

“Where are we going?” I finally asked. The headache had gone away since taking the pills and I hadn’t felt numb either. Maybe they did work…

“Mike kind of…um…did something both very heroic and very stupid.”

“Sounds like a Fuentes.”

“He’s an asshat, let me tell you, but he’s a very sweet asshat.” Jaime grumbled. I sighed, rubbing my head. Yep, that is totally Mike Fuentes for you.

“So where are we going?” I repeated my question.

“The arcade.”

“You adopted them.” Jaime stated slowly.

“What else was I supposed to do!?” Mike just shrugged in response.

“Oh, I don’t know…put them in a foster home!”

“But their mother just DIED!”

“Don’t play the guilt card on me!” Jaime growled.

“Hey, Rena’s my bestie!” Mike defended.

“Out of all your stupid ideas, this is the stupidest of all.”

“I’ll sick Shut Up on you.”

I looked between the two switching voices. I sighed, letting them argue it out and decided to go talk to the kid myself.

I didn’t know her personally, but apparently one day Mike was at this arcade with Jaime and he was playing skee-ball with a little girl named Rena. She couldn’t have been more than eight at the time. Well, Mike lost but Rena gave him a stuffed animal Rottweiler puppy that he calls Shut Up. He fell in love with the little girl soon after. I guess every time we’re back in town after tour, they’ll go and play skee-ball on Fridays and get pizza. It’s become a regular occurrence and no one questions it.

I moved out of the room, shaking my head. Mike can’t just adopt a kid! I mean, I know he wants to be a parent, but he doesn’t even have a girlfriend! And to top it off, we’re on tour all the time! What kind of life is that for a kid?

I walked out into the booth where Rena was sitting. I nearly tripped along the way but I managed to count the booths and find the correct one.

“Are you Miss Willow?” A small voice asked. Yep, I was in the right booth. I shuffled into the leathery seat. Buzzers went off all around me from everyone playing games.

“I am. And are you Rena?”

“Yes I am, Miss.”

Wow, her polite manners reminds me of another little kid I had run into at an amusement park what seemed like so long ago…

“So what happened to your mom?” I asked softly, hoping not to upset her. Some little kids can easily be tipped over the edge with sensitive questions.

“Well, I was at school and my mom was in a car accident with my aunt and uncle and they all died. They took me out of school to go to another place, I don’t know where. They took my cousin out too. He’s pretty nice. I like him because he’s very helpful and he helped keep me calm. They wanted to send us with our grandparents, but they’re not nice people so I called Mike and he came to pick us up. I think he wants to adopt us!” She cried out in joy. I sighed. Her life sounds pretty rough right now and I see why sweet ol’ Mikey wants to help out.

But how much could he really help with?

“Um, whose your cousin?” I asked quietly.

“Rena! I got you a pizza!” A familiar little boy’s voice sounded out. I heard footsteps and then a plop as someone sat in the seat next to the girl across from me in the booth.

“Thanks, Toddy!”

Toddy!?

“Hey, Miss Willow! See, Rena? This is the nice lady who was with me at the amusement park!” Toddy chirped. My mouth nearly hit the floor. Of course, out of all the people in the world, it was TODDY that had to be Rena’s cousin.

“Hello, Toddy. I’m glad we finally got to meet again!” I chuckled. Toddy laughed. Rena and Toddy were about the same age, I guessed as I listened to their voices.

“Me too!” I could almost feel a tangible smile in the words he spoke. There were footsteps as Jaime and Mike returned to the booth where they had left the children. I tried looking for Jaime and startled when his hand suddenly appeared on my shoulder. I moved over for him to sit down.

“There’s two of them?” Himes hissed to the drummer.

“Well of course.”

“Why wouldn’t there be.” Himes grumbled. I touched his knee.

“Himes, do you remember Toddy?” I asked. There was a pause and then the sound of him sucking in his breath in recognition.

“Oh yes, hello Toddy. I remember you from the park.”

“Hello, Jaime.” Toddy responded curtly, probably still a little sore after learning that Jaime had locked me in a bus. The ten year old stayed silent after that.

“Mikey?” Rena’s small voice asked.

“Yes, Ree?”

“Who is going to take care of us? I don’t want to go to my grandparents. They’re cruel.” Her soft voice pleaded. I nearly melted at that and I felt Jaime’s stony walls break down as well.

There was a long sigh from the drummer, trying to think over his options. I had no doubt that Jaime had tried to knock some sense into him, but I was also sure that he wasn’t going to let Jaime win this battle.

“We don’t have tour for a while. We’re just doing a few occasional shows here and there until January.” Jaime grumbled. I bumped his shoulder. As much as Himes did have a logical sense on him, he always melted when little kids were around. Well, these two weren’t little, but to him, they were.

“I’ll be taking care of you guys for a couple months, how does that sound?”

I mean it was November and so he had a couple of months to take care of them and then decide or find another home for them with different foster parents. It wasn’t that far away.

The two kids cheered happily. Rena started to babble about playing skee-ball on Fridays and getting to see Shut Up and Toddy was all anxious to pack his bags and get out of the care facility.

Well, I guess Mike now had two kids of his own.

Notes