I hid my blindness as best as I could from Autumn. It was only on the last day as we left the wedding hotel that she found out.

“Hey babes, what’s up?” She asked me as she walked into my room, with Tony probably. I don’t know…I couldn’t see!

“Nothing much!” I said nonchalantly. I felt her weight plop down at my side, the cushion sinking lightly under her weight. Mentally, I screamed for Jaime to get his ass back here and save me from the troubles I was about to face.

“Have you gotten all of your stuff packed? I’m thinking when we get back home, we go back to Turtle and I’s house and we’ll chill there. This whole ‘getting married’ thing has really taken it out of me.” Autumn chuckled. I paused, turning towards the sound of her voice, squinting and pretending I actually knew where she was located.

“You guys have a house?” I questioned. Autumn laughed.

“Yeah, dude! We moved in about a month before yesterday. Honestly, we haven’t finished unpacking the last of the boxes but we’ll do that later. Maybe you want to help me? Turtle can make pizza, RIGHT TURTLE?” Autumn yelled to the bedroom where the quiet chatter of the boys ceased a moment.

“Right, babe.” Came the begrudging response.

“Don’t worry, we can watch a TMNT movie later, okay?”

I felt like Tony exploded into happiness like an obese unicorn over in the other room.

Autumn chuckled and stood up, pulling me with her. I nearly tripped into the coffee table. She pushed me aside last minute.

“First day new legs, MD?” She asked. I smiled nervously, shrugging.

“Sure.” Sure, not the blindness…

“Okay, well help me carry these bags out to the car.” She urged. I grinned, hopefully looking her general direction, before proceeding to take baby steps towards the bags.

I ran face first into a wall, grumbling, “Owwww…watch where you’re going.”

Autumn put her hand on my shoulder, pulling me back. I tried not to stumble on anything else. “MD that was a wall, not me.” She asked nervously, spinning me around.

I could almost, almost, see her face heating up bright red in anger of me not telling her about my latest development.

“Willow?”

“Leave a message at the beep. BEEEEEEEEEEP.”

“You’re blind again aren’t you?”

“The number you are trying to reach has been discon-“

“Cut the crap, Willow. I know you’re blind. You’re not even looking me in the face.” She grumbled. I turned to her.

“There, see?”

“That’s the wall.”

I turned again.

“I can see just fine.”

“You’re staring at Tony. You’re freaking him out.”

The Turtle squeaked.

I grumbled and let Autumn spin me to face her. It was so disorienting being in the darkness, complete and unending. A familiar set of hands landed on my shoulders. I recognized the familiar smell of Jaime near me, his body heat radiating off like a neon light.

“Are you mad?” I questioned my best friend timidly. She chuckled softly beneath the silence.

“No, you’re just a fool. I’m just sad that we can’t see Avengers: Age of Ultron together now.” She punched my shoulder, causing me to yelp since I couldn’t see that coming. Jaime gently pulled me out of the way as the familiar click click click of luggage wheels sounded against the tile outside our room.

That was less painful than I thought.

---

It was a couple days later when I figured out that putting on makeup was a terrible, terrible idea for a blind person.

“Dear, are you almost ready?” Jaime asked from downstairs. I was at my house once again after returning home from the Perrys’ wedding. I was currently fumbling around for all my makeup, trying to distinguish eyeliner from tweezers.

Telling my mom that I was blind (again) had gone differently than Autumn’s exposure.

When we came home, I walked in the door, kicked off my shoes, grabbed Jaime’s hand, yelled, “Hey mom! I’m home again! And I’m also blind again!” My mom didn’t take too well to the sudden finding out. Well, she rounded the corner, screamed, nearly tripped over our pug, thought that it was HIMES that had blinded me with a spork or some other weird scenario in which it was his fault that now I couldn’t see, threatened him with the pan, and then grumbling about getting lunch.

Overall, it was better than expected.

Jaime didn’t take well to being threatened with a pan. He was pretty frightened after that.

But, we were on a date. No more moms, no more pans, just the two of us. Currently, I was attempting to get my makeup on, but it was so far unsuccessful. Jaime’s footsteps sounded up the stairs and I heard him come into the tile floor of my bathroom.

“Hey, having trouble?” He asked. My hand slowly glided along the smooth surface of my counter top.

“Kind of. Do you see my concealer on the counter?” I asked. Jaime picked up something. He thought for a moment before asking, “Is this it?”

“It could be pickle juice for all I know.” I responded sarcastically.

“Well you are my little pickle.” He cheered.

“Thanks?” I asked, slyly grinning. I took the bottle, feeling for the lid. My concealer had metallic lid that was smooth, unlike the other lids. This one was rough.

“Is that it?”

“Is it colored like my skin?”

“Um…no.” He sighed. I put it down within easy reach. It was probably my little jar of blush. Jaime handed me something else. It was my lipstick. Man, he was really bad at this.

“I give up.” Himes grumbled before resting his chin on my shoulder. I snickered noiselessly as he whimpered about Vic being the only one to wear makeup in the band. I swatted his arm.

“Vic doesn’t wear makeup.” I teased. Jaime shrugged.

“You should see him on Wednesdays.”

“Do you wear pink?”

“Sure, sure.” Jaime watched as I finally grasped the bottle I took as concealer. Himes snatched it out of my hands before I could apply the makeup.

“I’m fairly confident this is not it.”

“What do you mean?” I argued. Jaime took a moment before responded, probably squinting. I could just imagine him squinting as he read the label, perhaps even frowning. His lips would crinkle downwards at the corners, his adorable thinking face appearing as he contemplated what was wrong with the tube.

“I don’t know much about makeup, but I don’t think concealer typically says ‘toothpaste’ on it.”

I gulped. I couldn’t imagine my face with toothpaste smeared all over it. I sighed and felt around the same tube again. Sure enough, I had mistaken the bottom of the toothpaste tube as the top of my concealer lid.

“Crap.” I swore quietly as Jaime laughed. He caught my wrists as I angrily flailed around for more makeup.

“You look beautiful, Willow. You really don’t need any makeup. Anyways, we’re going to the park, so we’re just going to relax and swing, not go clubbing.” Himes pecked my nose. I squinted at the unexpected contact. He cupped my face in his gentle hands. I sighed and leaned into his worn palms. The tips of his fingers had been worn for years of playing the bass guitar. Gently, I touched the guitar pick that he had given me so many years ago when I thought I would lose him to tour forever. I could clearly imagine the pick with its lettering etched into it, spelling out the first name of my love. I rubbed my finger over it like one might rub a lamp and hope for a genie to magically appear and make all their troubles go away.

If only that was true. I had a ticking time-bomb stuck in my head.

“Okay, okay.” I begrudgingly agreed, if only to speed up the process of going out to hang in the park and maybe even go to the beach later. If Jaime said I looked good, then I looked fine.

Jaime took my hand, gently leading me away from the counter and the mirror I couldn’t see. “I have your shoes here.” He gently tapped my hand, holding out my shoes for me as I sat down on the steps. I heard my mom approach us from the kitchen.

“Are they my purple lightning vans?” I asked hopefully.

“As always. I know you love those.” He chuckled. I wore them all the time. They were a part of my daily routine. I never left without them or my guitar pick necklace. Those were the two things that I always wore. You could tell it was me from a mile away just because of the bright purple lightning shoes.

“Good luck at the park, guys. Bring her home at a reasonable time.” My mom warned my boyfriend, the classic protective parents. Jaime smiled, at least from what I could tell.

“Don’t worry, Ms. Caston. She’ll be home before midnight.”

“Good. I don’t like scrubbing blood off my pans.” And with that, her footsteps retreated back into the kitchen. Jaime quickly took my hand and led me to his car, opening the door for me like a real gentleman.

“After you, Ms. Willow.” He smirked. I fell into the car seat, reaching behind me and buckling myself in. Oh how I missed the days I could see out the window and enjoy watching the California landscape roll by.

The car engine revved up when something dropped into my lap. I squeaked out of fright. “It’s your how-to manual. I figured you’ll need it.” Jaime grabbed my hand, letting my fingers run over the worn cover and spine of the abused book. I grinned happily.

“Thank you!” I squealed, flipping through quickly and feeling the rush of air on my face. I hadn’t carried the small manual around with me in a while and it felt like I was lighter than before.

“Here’s a pencil because I know you like to write in it at the most random times.”

“Random to you!” I stuck my tongue out. His lips pecked my cheek tenderly. I picked up the pencil and flipped to a random page, running my hand over the thin sheet, feeling for indents. Indents meant I had written on this page before. It was clean.

I felt for the corner and turned the book sideways, writing on the little parts that I knew would be blank, or guessing the best I can.

How to put on makeup like a blind person:
1.Fumble for your bathroom counter where your makeup is.
2.Grab one bottle and feel for the lid, making sure it’s the right bottle.
3.Pray to the heavenly makeup beings that you didn’t just grab your toothpaste.
4.Gently apply makeup until you either a) look decently enough, or as best as you can guess or b) poke your eye out with your eyeliner pencil.
5.Good luck.

We arrived at the parker earlier than I expected. Jaime led me to a swing, where we sat down, gently pumping our legs back and forth. The chains squeaked like small birds complaining to their mothers. The silence was a comfortable blanket surrounding us. We just enjoyed listening to one another be close to each other.

But I would’ve bet money that Jaime was watching me right now. He would always do that and when I used to be able to see, I would catch him just smiling at me like some stalker idiot with funny hair. He was adorable when I caught him. All he would do was look away like a puppy caught for eating off the table.

The squeaking slowed down as we both matched a slow pace. My hands curled around the chains, fingers fiddling with the little openings in the warm links. I swung my legs but went nowhere.

“Hey, do you want to get ice cream in a little, MD? The ice cream shop on the corner carries your favorite flavor!” He tempted me.

And then my brain froze, like it was suddenly encased in a foot of ice.

I tried to mouth the words to “Cookies and cream? Yes please!” but nothing came out. My mouth wouldn’t even move, I just hung there limply. My neck couldn’t even turn to him to nod. My brain froze, liken when a computer gets stuck and frozen on the page you want to get off of.

“Willow?” Jaime asked quietly. I stared, probably towards the ground, trying to figure out what was happening. I lost all control of my movements. I was paralyzed on the swing. I couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, barely breathing shallowly.

“Willow?” Himes asked again with a greater sense of urgency. His hand grasped my shoulder, shaking me awake. I was still in my blindness, but I finally could control my motions. The computer had woken up again. I gasped for more air, shaking my head viciously.

“That was…odd.” I fumbled numbly for the words. There was a squawk as the man got off his swing. I felt his hands grab my shoulder gently, one hand gently tilting up my chin.

“Are you okay? You just sat there frozen for a good minute. You didn’t respond or anything. What happened?” He asked quickly. I shook it off, reaching up to grab onto his arm, steadying myself as I stood up.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t do anything. I was…paralyzed.” I responded after a moment for me to recollect what had happened. Himes took my hand, quickly dragging me to the car.

“Where are we going?” I asked softly, my tongue going numb. I stumbled as the numbness spread through my body. Himes helped me into the car as I collapsed again. My breathing slowed down and I started to panic. The little seeds of fear slowly spread through my body, enveloping my ears, my lips, my fingers, and my toes. Everything was paralyzed once again.

“Willow? Crap, not again.” The car started up as I regained feeling from the second paralysis scare.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening.” I bit my lip to keep back tears. My brain was in overdrive, the fright becoming a physical being holding me down. Jaime grabbed my hand, holding it tightly.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. We’re going to see a doctor, okay? We’re just going to have this checked out to make sure it’s nothing too serious.” He reassured. I nodded and tried to speak, but I had gone mute.

No, no….not this too. Please, please don’t let this be permanent. I don’t want a repeat of the first eighteen years of my life where I could only say “Ding”. I don’t want this muteness again.

Instead of speaking (because I still couldn’t), I just nodded. Jaime held my hand the entire time, his thumb stroking the back of my hand slowly, a silent reassurance that this would be okay.


An hour later…

The wait for a doctor had been too long and the drive to the hospital had been the same. Through the hour, I had slipped in and out of paralysis three different times, each last about five minutes. I regained my speech for forty out of the sixty minutes. It was like living in a Hell I didn’t understand.

Jaime sat next to me as I waited for the doctor to come into the room. I held out my hand for Jaime to hold. He grabbed it, kissing the back of my wrist. I smiled weakly, feeling my jaw get tense.

Please, not another bout of paralysis…

It went away quickly, right as the door opened up. I whipped my head towards the sound, searching in the darkness for an explanation. The wheels rolled up to me as I attempted to track the newcomer.

“Hello, Ms. Caston, Mr. Preciado. My name’s Dr. Cameron.” A female voice said. I smiled, the muscles in my face hurting slightly from the common paralysis.

“And I’m Dr. Chase. What seems to be the problem?” A thicker Australian accent appeared out of nowhere. I hadn’t even heard his footsteps enter the room! I turned my head, searching for the sound, but I couldn’t find anything.

“Well, for one, the blindness has come back.” I sighed. There was a rustling of papers. Jaime stayed silent, gently squeezing my hand for reassurance.

“I do see in your medical history the story of your miraculous case. You do seem to have quite a unique brain.” The female, Dr. Cameron, approved. I smiled weakly as the dizziness and numbness started to spread once again. I silently swore, but kept the straight face.

“Is there any other symptoms with the blindness?”

I couldn’t respond, just frozen and trapped in my own body.

“Willow? Willow, did it come back?” Jaime asked, a controlled urgency tainting his voice like the plague. I struggled, fighting against the mental chains that were so strong, I felt like I had to be the hulk to break them. There was a long period of silence. If I could actually move, I’d run away to escape the awkwardness.

“Willow, is everything alright?” Dr. Chase asked. Hands touched my face, gently opening my eyes. He was probably shining a light in my face, trying to track the movement. Well, I couldn’t exactly see anything, so it was kind of a pointless exam.

“She’s been experiencing some brief periods of paralysis and muteness. Sometimes she can move but can’t talk at all, and sometimes she can’t do either. It usually lasts for about five minutes or so.” Jaime explained. The numbness receded again. My lips regained their prickly warmness as I gasped for air. A hand touched my shoulder, cold metal pressed through my shirt to my back.

“She’s breathing normally, although her heart is slightly irregular.” Dr. Cameron assessed. I looked around, starting to panic as I felt Jaime’s loss of contact.

“Willow, how long have the symptoms persisted? When did the blindness come back?” Dr. Chase asked carefully. I held out my hand and Jaime grabbed it again. The fear resided, if only for a moment.

“Three days ago, the blindness came back. It came back all at once. I just woke up one morning after a wedding and it came back. The short term paralysis has only been today.” I explained carefully, stumbling over my words. I blinked a couple of times, trying to clear my dry eyes.

“Let’s get Foreman’s opinion on this.” Dr. Chase muttered. I don’t know if that was a good or bad thing, but hopefully it meant that my case could be solved immediately with more people on it.

“Will I be okay?” I asked quietly.

“We’re going to run some scans, but it should come out fine.” And with that, the door shut and I was left alone with Jaime. I turned in his general direction. When his hand tilted my chin towards him, I realized I had been terribly off and blushed in embarrassment.

“I’m a little scared.” I admitted. Jaime stood up, pressing his lips to mine. I melted into the kiss until he pulled back. His phone had begun to ring.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’m here with you. And apparently so is Mike.” He sighed and answered it. There was some frantic muttering in the background as Jaime gasped.

“Mike! You did not!”

More muttering.

“Mike, no, just hold on. No, I can’t pick you up right now. Where am I?”

Pause.

“Jaime?” Mike asked on the other end.

“PINEAPPLES!” And then my boy hung up.

This was going to be a long day.

---

A few scans later, I was back to sitting up in the doctor’s office. I had gone through a minute of temporary paralysis between the two scans, but was otherwise fine. I sat next to Jaime on a chair that he led me to.

The doctors came back in a moment later and we both held our breath. There was a tangible air of sadness lingering around the presence. The chairs complained as they pulled them up in front of us.

“What’s the results?” I finally asked.

“Dr. Cameron, you’re the gentle one here.” Dr. Chase complained. I looked away from the terrible voices. This really can’t be good.

Dr. Cameron, the woman, sighed and started off sadly, “The bad news is that we found some damage in your brain. The good news is that we found what’s causing it. Your own brain is damaging itself.” She started.

I smiled hopefully. “So you can fix it.”

More silence, heavy as lead.

“No, we can’t. Your brain is shutting down and we can’t do anything to stop it. Your other doctors have probably already explained that your brain is miraculous in the way that it can repair itself, but it’s reached its point of exhaustion. Right now, it’s selectively choosing functions to shut down so it won’t have to work as hard to repair so many things. Your brain is trying to decide which systems can shut down without killing you entirely, that’s why your vision has gone away, and your speech and movement have been impaired.”

Jaime’s hand tightened around mine.

“B-but, t-there’s got t-to be s-something that c-can stop it?” He questioned.

“We can give her some medicine to help hopefully slow it down, but there’s nothing we can do to completely fix it. The meds will help the brain out and help her control her movement and maybe her speech. It’ll give her some more time, and maybe technology can figure out something that will give her more years, but for now, it’s just a waiting game.” Dr. Chase responded sadly.

I felt a tear prick at my blue eyes. “I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

I woman’s hand touched mine, very gently, very frigidly.

“I’m so sorry.”

Notes

O>O

:'(

SO MUCH SADNESSSSS. WILL THIS BE THE BE THE END OF THE MIGHT DING, OR WILL THEY FIND A CURE? I MEAN, IT IS SCIENCE AND MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY DAY! ;)

Leave your thoughts down below! :)