You're The Only Thing That's Keeping Me Alive
The Night Hides Scars
Katelynn got 25 fine china plates that were 20 dollars each and stocked them in her cabinet, where they wouldn't be broken.
She started making lists of foods and things I need for my shower.
"Okay, so you're gonna be having the shower here, is that okay with you?"
I nodded.
"Okay, so I got the plates, now we need to figure out what kind of food we'll be making and see who all is coming, then we'll-"
"Katelynn!" I stopped her. "I'm only about 5 months pregnant. Why do we have to prepare so early?" I looked down at my stomach, and it was like a ball was inside of my shirt.
"Because, first, it's better to prepare early just in case your baby may be a premature, cause if it is we wouldn't be able to have a shower. Second, so you aren't setting things up last minute."
Then she began babbling on about the things I need for it.
"So, Tony must be pretty happy to be having a baby, huh?"
I looked over to the side of the room, where she couldn't see my face.
"Are you okay hun?" she asked softly.
"It-It's not Tony's.." my lip began to quiver and by this point she could see me.
"Oh my.. Who's is it then?"
"I.. It's Oliver Sykes'... It wasn't suppose to be... I didn't intentionally want.." but I didn't have to finish until she pulled me in for a hug.
"I'm so sorry.." she whispered. And I could hear the sorrow in her voice.
"Katelynn! It's your Copeland shift!" Kellin yelled from the other room.
"Alright, I'm coming!" she yelled back "we'll finish this up later, dear." she smiled and gave me another bone crushing hug.
Kellin had driven me home, and I told the boys and Nicole about the shower.
"Yayyyy! Baby shower!" Nicole exclaimed.
She was such a child at times, but it was so cute and hilarious.
Everyone was excited about it and talked about all the things that they were going to do to help out.
"I think you should talk to Oli. You haven't in a while." Mike looked at me.
"Yeah, you're right." I grabbed my phone and walked into the other room.
He picked up after 4 rings.
"Ello?"
"Hi Oli."
"Oh. How has it been?"
"Can we talk about this in person?"
"Alright. I'll be there soon."
He hung up.
I didn't know if this was too good of an idea.
I mean, I know I need to talk to Oli of course, he's the father of my soon to be born child. But every time I see him, the memory of that day pops into my head. I hated it.
I wish it never happened with him.
I wish it was Tony's.
I wish this was all just a dream.
I knelt down to the floor and sat there.
I could feel the tears coming down my face and I started to sob.
I looked at my round stomach, and started to cry more.
I've had this baby inside of me for almost 5 months, and there's about 4 more to go.
I want to rewind time.
I'm not ready for this.
I can barely take care of myself, let alone a baby.
I walked into the bathroom and opened a drawer.
I picked up the shiny piece of metal underneath everything in there.
Do it you whore. You're a fuck up anyways.
I put the piece of metal on my wrist, and slid it across.
I did it again.
Blood was streaming down my wrists.
I did it once more, at the very top.
"Yaressi!"
And that's all I remember before I hit the floor.
She started making lists of foods and things I need for my shower.
"Okay, so you're gonna be having the shower here, is that okay with you?"
I nodded.
"Okay, so I got the plates, now we need to figure out what kind of food we'll be making and see who all is coming, then we'll-"
"Katelynn!" I stopped her. "I'm only about 5 months pregnant. Why do we have to prepare so early?" I looked down at my stomach, and it was like a ball was inside of my shirt.
"Because, first, it's better to prepare early just in case your baby may be a premature, cause if it is we wouldn't be able to have a shower. Second, so you aren't setting things up last minute."
Then she began babbling on about the things I need for it.
"So, Tony must be pretty happy to be having a baby, huh?"
I looked over to the side of the room, where she couldn't see my face.
"Are you okay hun?" she asked softly.
"It-It's not Tony's.." my lip began to quiver and by this point she could see me.
"Oh my.. Who's is it then?"
"I.. It's Oliver Sykes'... It wasn't suppose to be... I didn't intentionally want.." but I didn't have to finish until she pulled me in for a hug.
"I'm so sorry.." she whispered. And I could hear the sorrow in her voice.
"Katelynn! It's your Copeland shift!" Kellin yelled from the other room.
"Alright, I'm coming!" she yelled back "we'll finish this up later, dear." she smiled and gave me another bone crushing hug.
Kellin had driven me home, and I told the boys and Nicole about the shower.
"Yayyyy! Baby shower!" Nicole exclaimed.
She was such a child at times, but it was so cute and hilarious.
Everyone was excited about it and talked about all the things that they were going to do to help out.
"I think you should talk to Oli. You haven't in a while." Mike looked at me.
"Yeah, you're right." I grabbed my phone and walked into the other room.
He picked up after 4 rings.
"Ello?"
"Hi Oli."
"Oh. How has it been?"
"Can we talk about this in person?"
"Alright. I'll be there soon."
He hung up.
I didn't know if this was too good of an idea.
I mean, I know I need to talk to Oli of course, he's the father of my soon to be born child. But every time I see him, the memory of that day pops into my head. I hated it.
I wish it never happened with him.
I wish it was Tony's.
I wish this was all just a dream.
I knelt down to the floor and sat there.
I could feel the tears coming down my face and I started to sob.
I looked at my round stomach, and started to cry more.
I've had this baby inside of me for almost 5 months, and there's about 4 more to go.
I want to rewind time.
I'm not ready for this.
I can barely take care of myself, let alone a baby.
I walked into the bathroom and opened a drawer.
I picked up the shiny piece of metal underneath everything in there.
Do it you whore. You're a fuck up anyways.
I put the piece of metal on my wrist, and slid it across.
I did it again.
Blood was streaming down my wrists.
I did it once more, at the very top.
"Yaressi!"
And that's all I remember before I hit the floor.
Notes
Sorry for this short chapter, gotta clean my room and do an hour of school then I will update! c:Also sorry for not updating for 24 hours. School sucks.
Enjoy x
title cred: Pierce The Veil
11/10/13