I Breathe You In With Smoke.
To Live And Love, And Die.
"Mya?" Someone whispered and shook me. I sighed, rolling over to be met with Vic.
"Hmm?"
"We're going out to breakfast. I wanted to wait until you woke up, but we're all starving." He admitted with a slight blush.
"And I have to go?"
"Of course you have to go, silly. Come on." I nodded and slipped out of bed, only to groan and stumble back as my vision went hazy.
God damn, I really need to eat.
Vic grabbed my hand, holding me still until the room had stopped spinning.
I looked down at his hand around my wrist with a blush as I tried to keep my breathing steady. He noticed my uncomfortableness, dropping his hand and stuffing it in his pocket.
"S-Sorry. You okay?"
"Yeah, uh thanks. I'll be down in 5."
"Are you sure you can make it? Do you need help?"
"Vic, I promise, I'm okay. I just lost my balance." I lied. He hesitantly nodded.
"Okay, well, we'll be waiting downstairs." I nodded with a smile as he walked out. I walked over to my bag, pulling out my makeup and clothes, getting ready.
3 more days...
I walked down the steps, and sure enough, the guys were downstairs watching Family Guy. I rolled my eyes, walking in front of the TV.
"HEY! WE WERE- Oh, hi Mya!" Tony screamed and waved. I laughed and waved back.
"Ready to go, beautiful?" Jaime asked. I nodded with a blush and Mike grabbed the keys.
"Then let's go, I'm fucking dying."
"Drama queen." I mumbled. Mike gasped and placed a hand over his heart.
"MEAN!" I smirked and rolled my eyes as we hopped into the car.
JAIME
The waitress looked at Mya, awaiting her order.She looked at the waitress, waving her hand politely to tell her that she wasn't having anything.
"Mya.." The guys and I warned.
"At least order something." I whispered.
"Fine, I'll have a muffin." She mumbled to the waitress. She nodded, shutting her flip book and placing it back in her apron.
"Comin' right up." She smiled before walking away.
"So, how do you like San Diego?" Mike asked. she shrugged.
"It's absolutely gorgeous. I only saw bits and pieces on the drive to the house yesterday, but it definitely beats south L.A"
"You didn't like L.A?"
"Just all around, it was a bad experience." She whispered, running her finger along the rim of her cup. I frowned and rubbed her back.
"What do you-" Vic started, but stopped himself when my head whipped towards him. "Sorry."
"It's okay. Excuse me." She mumbled. Tony and I scooted out of the booth and she got up, walking to the bathroom.
"Jaime, what's up with her?" Tony asked worriedly. I bit my lip and sighed.
Should I tell them?
"I-I don't really know. I mean, I'm almost positive she cuts and her parents abused her.."
"S-She.. What?" Vic studdered. I put my head in my hands and shook my head.
"No, no. We have to talk to her.." Tony said.
"NO. She doesn't even know I know. Just, let her tell us when she's-" I stopped when I heard a sniffle and footsteps approach us. We all got out of the booth and the guys attacked her in a hug.
"Um, I was only in the bathroom?" She laughed and looked at me. Way to be obvious, fuckers.
"Jaime, why are they being weird?"
"Dunno." I mumbled. They all pulled away and took their seats as the waitress walked up and delivered our food.
MYA
We all got back home and I went to walk upstairs, until Tony grabbed me and pulled me back against him.
"Tony, lemme go." I laughed.
"Stay with us, please?"
"Yeah! please?!" Jaime pouted.
"But I wanna sleep!" I lied.
Truth was, the guys were acting weird with me, and it didn't go unnoticed in the slightest. Every once in awhile, their eyes would flicker to my bracelets before snapping back to their plates back at the restaurant That alone, made me want to cut desperately. They suspect something, I know they do, but they don't know just how bad it is. There's no turning back, and even if I wanted to, It wouldn't be a choice.
"Oh, boo!" Vic screamed. "It's only like 1pm. You can sleep tonight. Come on, beautiful." He told me. I blushed and looked at the ground. Tony's grip tightened for a split second before letting go completely as he cleared his throat.
"Fine, whatever. Jus...Just let me change okay?"
" 'Course." I walked up stairs and into my room, making a B line to my night stand, rummaging through the miscellaneous things that were on top of it to hide my little friend. I pulled it out and exhaled in awe, the beautiful piece of metal gleaming as the reflection of the Californian sun through my window reflected off of it. It practically called my name, and I was happy to comply, the blade missing me just as much as I had missed it. I kissed it, the tool cold against my lips before running over to lock the door.
It's only been 2 days, and I already needed a fix.
I slid to the floor, lifting my bracelets to show the the ugly white lines that embedded my skin.
It wasn't necessarily that I was unhappy with the guys, I was just unhappy with who I was.
I brought my hand up to my mouth, muffling a helpless sob as it escaped my throat. I placed it to one of my scars, pressing down and dragging it across, it re opening as blood immediately started to slowly cascade down my arm and relief washed over me. My breathing was ragged, but on the inside, I was only calm. I started to shake, my body aching for more.
one cut is never enough.
I threw my head back, shutting my eyes as I dragged it across my arm repeatedly and waited for the bittersweet bliss to coarse through my body once more.
"Mya?" I heard Mike shout through the door. My eyes snapped open, feeling my heart pound against my ribcage. I swallowed and stood back up, placing my blade in its designated place.
"Y-Yeah!"
"You're coming down right?" I sighed and looked down at my cuts. 1,4,8,15,20. 20 fucking cuts. I started to panic, wrapping my arm in a bandage that was placed in a First Aid kit placed in my room.
"I'll be down in a minute!" I screamed. I pushed my bracelets back down and winced, biting my tongue as a slight whimper escaped it.
"You okay? Open up." He said as he jiggled the door knob.
"Okay." I mumbled. I threw a sweatshirt on and opened the door. Mikes face softened and he pulled me into a hug.
"You're okay right? I heard you in t-" He stopped when we heard foot steps come up the steps to reveal Tony and Jaime.
"It's about ti- whoa, hey.. why are you crying?" Tony asked as I felt a single tear stray down my cheek.
"Mya.." Mike frowned, gliding his thumb across my cheek.
"Don't cry, sis." Jaime mumbled and wrapped me in a huge hug. "What's wrong?"
"I'm okay guys. Really." I sniffled.
"Stop saying that! You're not okay. Just don't lie to us. We're here to help you." Mike told me.
"P-Please, tell us."
"I really can't." They'd be so disappointed. I couldn't do that to them, I've already destroyed enough.
Jaime sighed and hugged me tighter.
"I love you, okay? You're so so beautiful." I smiled slightly as he pulled away from the hug to look into my eyes, his own filled with nothing but sincerity and love.
"Come on, Vic ran out to get dinner for tonight." Tony whispered. I nodded, walking down the stairs and to the couch. Tony sat next to me, a sad smile on his face. Having nowhere else to put my head, I leaned against his shoulder as I looked down and played with the hem of my hoodie sleeve, sniffling occasionally. I felt Tony's arm slowly and cautiously make its way around me, rubbing my arm.
"You're gonna be okay, I promise."
"You don't know that, and don't make a promises you can't keep."
"Hmm?"
"We're going out to breakfast. I wanted to wait until you woke up, but we're all starving." He admitted with a slight blush.
"And I have to go?"
"Of course you have to go, silly. Come on." I nodded and slipped out of bed, only to groan and stumble back as my vision went hazy.
God damn, I really need to eat.
Vic grabbed my hand, holding me still until the room had stopped spinning.
I looked down at his hand around my wrist with a blush as I tried to keep my breathing steady. He noticed my uncomfortableness, dropping his hand and stuffing it in his pocket.
"S-Sorry. You okay?"
"Yeah, uh thanks. I'll be down in 5."
"Are you sure you can make it? Do you need help?"
"Vic, I promise, I'm okay. I just lost my balance." I lied. He hesitantly nodded.
"Okay, well, we'll be waiting downstairs." I nodded with a smile as he walked out. I walked over to my bag, pulling out my makeup and clothes, getting ready.
3 more days...
I walked down the steps, and sure enough, the guys were downstairs watching Family Guy. I rolled my eyes, walking in front of the TV.
"HEY! WE WERE- Oh, hi Mya!" Tony screamed and waved. I laughed and waved back.
"Ready to go, beautiful?" Jaime asked. I nodded with a blush and Mike grabbed the keys.
"Then let's go, I'm fucking dying."
"Drama queen." I mumbled. Mike gasped and placed a hand over his heart.
"MEAN!" I smirked and rolled my eyes as we hopped into the car.
JAIME
The waitress looked at Mya, awaiting her order.She looked at the waitress, waving her hand politely to tell her that she wasn't having anything.
"Mya.." The guys and I warned.
"At least order something." I whispered.
"Fine, I'll have a muffin." She mumbled to the waitress. She nodded, shutting her flip book and placing it back in her apron.
"Comin' right up." She smiled before walking away.
"So, how do you like San Diego?" Mike asked. she shrugged.
"It's absolutely gorgeous. I only saw bits and pieces on the drive to the house yesterday, but it definitely beats south L.A"
"You didn't like L.A?"
"Just all around, it was a bad experience." She whispered, running her finger along the rim of her cup. I frowned and rubbed her back.
"What do you-" Vic started, but stopped himself when my head whipped towards him. "Sorry."
"It's okay. Excuse me." She mumbled. Tony and I scooted out of the booth and she got up, walking to the bathroom.
"Jaime, what's up with her?" Tony asked worriedly. I bit my lip and sighed.
Should I tell them?
"I-I don't really know. I mean, I'm almost positive she cuts and her parents abused her.."
"S-She.. What?" Vic studdered. I put my head in my hands and shook my head.
"No, no. We have to talk to her.." Tony said.
"NO. She doesn't even know I know. Just, let her tell us when she's-" I stopped when I heard a sniffle and footsteps approach us. We all got out of the booth and the guys attacked her in a hug.
"Um, I was only in the bathroom?" She laughed and looked at me. Way to be obvious, fuckers.
"Jaime, why are they being weird?"
"Dunno." I mumbled. They all pulled away and took their seats as the waitress walked up and delivered our food.
MYA
We all got back home and I went to walk upstairs, until Tony grabbed me and pulled me back against him.
"Tony, lemme go." I laughed.
"Stay with us, please?"
"Yeah! please?!" Jaime pouted.
"But I wanna sleep!" I lied.
Truth was, the guys were acting weird with me, and it didn't go unnoticed in the slightest. Every once in awhile, their eyes would flicker to my bracelets before snapping back to their plates back at the restaurant That alone, made me want to cut desperately. They suspect something, I know they do, but they don't know just how bad it is. There's no turning back, and even if I wanted to, It wouldn't be a choice.
"Oh, boo!" Vic screamed. "It's only like 1pm. You can sleep tonight. Come on, beautiful." He told me. I blushed and looked at the ground. Tony's grip tightened for a split second before letting go completely as he cleared his throat.
"Fine, whatever. Jus...Just let me change okay?"
" 'Course." I walked up stairs and into my room, making a B line to my night stand, rummaging through the miscellaneous things that were on top of it to hide my little friend. I pulled it out and exhaled in awe, the beautiful piece of metal gleaming as the reflection of the Californian sun through my window reflected off of it. It practically called my name, and I was happy to comply, the blade missing me just as much as I had missed it. I kissed it, the tool cold against my lips before running over to lock the door.
It's only been 2 days, and I already needed a fix.
I slid to the floor, lifting my bracelets to show the the ugly white lines that embedded my skin.
It wasn't necessarily that I was unhappy with the guys, I was just unhappy with who I was.
I brought my hand up to my mouth, muffling a helpless sob as it escaped my throat. I placed it to one of my scars, pressing down and dragging it across, it re opening as blood immediately started to slowly cascade down my arm and relief washed over me. My breathing was ragged, but on the inside, I was only calm. I started to shake, my body aching for more.
one cut is never enough.
I threw my head back, shutting my eyes as I dragged it across my arm repeatedly and waited for the bittersweet bliss to coarse through my body once more.
"Mya?" I heard Mike shout through the door. My eyes snapped open, feeling my heart pound against my ribcage. I swallowed and stood back up, placing my blade in its designated place.
"Y-Yeah!"
"You're coming down right?" I sighed and looked down at my cuts. 1,4,8,15,20. 20 fucking cuts. I started to panic, wrapping my arm in a bandage that was placed in a First Aid kit placed in my room.
"I'll be down in a minute!" I screamed. I pushed my bracelets back down and winced, biting my tongue as a slight whimper escaped it.
"You okay? Open up." He said as he jiggled the door knob.
"Okay." I mumbled. I threw a sweatshirt on and opened the door. Mikes face softened and he pulled me into a hug.
"You're okay right? I heard you in t-" He stopped when we heard foot steps come up the steps to reveal Tony and Jaime.
"It's about ti- whoa, hey.. why are you crying?" Tony asked as I felt a single tear stray down my cheek.
"Mya.." Mike frowned, gliding his thumb across my cheek.
"Don't cry, sis." Jaime mumbled and wrapped me in a huge hug. "What's wrong?"
"I'm okay guys. Really." I sniffled.
"Stop saying that! You're not okay. Just don't lie to us. We're here to help you." Mike told me.
"P-Please, tell us."
"I really can't." They'd be so disappointed. I couldn't do that to them, I've already destroyed enough.
Jaime sighed and hugged me tighter.
"I love you, okay? You're so so beautiful." I smiled slightly as he pulled away from the hug to look into my eyes, his own filled with nothing but sincerity and love.
"Come on, Vic ran out to get dinner for tonight." Tony whispered. I nodded, walking down the stairs and to the couch. Tony sat next to me, a sad smile on his face. Having nowhere else to put my head, I leaned against his shoulder as I looked down and played with the hem of my hoodie sleeve, sniffling occasionally. I felt Tony's arm slowly and cautiously make its way around me, rubbing my arm.
"You're gonna be okay, I promise."
"You don't know that, and don't make a promises you can't keep."
Notes
*Mya's outfit*Hey! SWT here ^.^
So, I asked a question on Sunday, and we're pretty tied up between Victor and Antonio ^.^
Of course Cassandra and I have some time to make a decision, but the earlier the better so we can plan some decent fluff and such, y'know.. Who may or may not save her, yadda yadda. ;p
Oh, and one more question.
Should we just jump... Y'know, to 3 days later next chapter?
PLEASE VOTEEEEEEEE THO. :D
Thanks for reading<3 I should be updating again around Thursday :3
sequel pleeeease :D
5/14/14