I Breathe You In With Smoke.
A Dizzy Dreamer.
"Why hasn't she waken up yet?!" I heard Tony scream.
How was I here?
What happened?
I didn't even feel alive. I just felt as if I was... floating. Almost as if this was a dream.
"She's gotta be okay." Vic. His voice quivered as he spoke. I was so confused. I couldn't comprehend where I was, but I knew that the guys had found me. At least I thought so, but why? Don't they know what could happen to them?
"Mya babe, please wake up." Jaime whispered. I felt his hand on mine and my eyes shot open with a gasp. I head Mike breathe an "Oh, thank God." Before they all attacked me in a hug, only for me to whimper and snuggle deeper into... my pillow.
"You scared us, My."
"W-Why did you find me." I choked out, swallowing hard from my dry and scratchy throat.
"Because we love you. We refuse to lose you."
"B-But.."
"We don't care about those mother fuckers. Let them try to step on our property again." Mike spat.
"They're going to hurt you" I whispered. "Why'd you save me?! THEY'RE GONNA HURT YOU!"
"Hey hey, calm down. We'll be okay. you're the only thing we're worrying about." I felt Jaime scoot into the bed with me and pull me against his chest.
"T-They're gonna hurt you." I repeated, shaking my head as tears fell.
"I'll be fine, but only if you are. I don't care what I have to go through, as long as I can keep you safe." He whispered. "You're worth it, beautiful. I promise." I nodded, but I wasn't convinced.
How could I sit here and be so selfish? Agree to this, to the ones I love putting their lives in danger, for the sake of me?
No. I wouldn't allow it.
"Now that we know you're okay, try and get some rest. You need anything at all, you know you can ask us." Vic said. I nodded slowly as they all gave me kisses and walked downstairs, leaving me in the empty room.
I shouldn't be here. I'm such a fucking failure.
I heard the door open again, but I didn't open my eyes. I heard a glass being set on my nightstand with a sigh.
"My..." Oh, Tony.
"I broke our promise."
"Relapse happens, I'm not mad."
"Stop, I know I'm a disappointment."
"Hey." He said sternly, making my eyes snap open. "I never want to hear that come out of your mouth again. You're anything but. You're just... Stuck. Cutting's a habit. It's an addiction, I know. We'll try again. We almost lost you, My. There was so much blood, and we c-couldn't..." He stopped and took a deep breath. "It took over an hour to find you. We thought we were too late, and we were just so scared. You have to realize just how much you mean to us, babe." He got next to me and wiped the tears that fell down my cheek.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"W-Why?"
"I've just been such a dick, lately. Are you still mad at me?" I shook my head as I snuggled deeper into him, tracing his neck tattoo.
"I want you safe as bad as you do me, you know."
"Yeah, I'll be okay. All that I'm asking from you is that you try and stay strong. You're by far too beautiful to be doing this to yourself.." He whispered, bringing up my bandaged wrist and kissing it lightly before kissing me softly. I smiled and ran my hand across his jaw before pulling away and burrowing myself into his chest.
"My, I can't stay."
"P-Please?" He sighed.
"Jaime's getting suspicious."
"I don't c-care. I need you here." He hugged me tighter, replying with a soft "Okay."
"Thank you." He smiled and kissed my forehead.
"Get some rest. I'll try and be here when you wake up."
And so I did, my exhaustion washing over the guilt that had consumed me, and finally allowing myself to fall asleep.
But I couldn't help but think about the risks. I couldn't have Tony hurt, or any of them for that matter. I had to do what was best, to keep them safe.
I loved them, please know that I really loved them, but I had to let them go.
I had to leave.
How was I here?
What happened?
I didn't even feel alive. I just felt as if I was... floating. Almost as if this was a dream.
"She's gotta be okay." Vic. His voice quivered as he spoke. I was so confused. I couldn't comprehend where I was, but I knew that the guys had found me. At least I thought so, but why? Don't they know what could happen to them?
"Mya babe, please wake up." Jaime whispered. I felt his hand on mine and my eyes shot open with a gasp. I head Mike breathe an "Oh, thank God." Before they all attacked me in a hug, only for me to whimper and snuggle deeper into... my pillow.
"You scared us, My."
"W-Why did you find me." I choked out, swallowing hard from my dry and scratchy throat.
"Because we love you. We refuse to lose you."
"B-But.."
"We don't care about those mother fuckers. Let them try to step on our property again." Mike spat.
"They're going to hurt you" I whispered. "Why'd you save me?! THEY'RE GONNA HURT YOU!"
"Hey hey, calm down. We'll be okay. you're the only thing we're worrying about." I felt Jaime scoot into the bed with me and pull me against his chest.
"T-They're gonna hurt you." I repeated, shaking my head as tears fell.
"I'll be fine, but only if you are. I don't care what I have to go through, as long as I can keep you safe." He whispered. "You're worth it, beautiful. I promise." I nodded, but I wasn't convinced.
How could I sit here and be so selfish? Agree to this, to the ones I love putting their lives in danger, for the sake of me?
No. I wouldn't allow it.
"Now that we know you're okay, try and get some rest. You need anything at all, you know you can ask us." Vic said. I nodded slowly as they all gave me kisses and walked downstairs, leaving me in the empty room.
I shouldn't be here. I'm such a fucking failure.
I heard the door open again, but I didn't open my eyes. I heard a glass being set on my nightstand with a sigh.
"My..." Oh, Tony.
"I broke our promise."
"Relapse happens, I'm not mad."
"Stop, I know I'm a disappointment."
"Hey." He said sternly, making my eyes snap open. "I never want to hear that come out of your mouth again. You're anything but. You're just... Stuck. Cutting's a habit. It's an addiction, I know. We'll try again. We almost lost you, My. There was so much blood, and we c-couldn't..." He stopped and took a deep breath. "It took over an hour to find you. We thought we were too late, and we were just so scared. You have to realize just how much you mean to us, babe." He got next to me and wiped the tears that fell down my cheek.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"W-Why?"
"I've just been such a dick, lately. Are you still mad at me?" I shook my head as I snuggled deeper into him, tracing his neck tattoo.
"I want you safe as bad as you do me, you know."
"Yeah, I'll be okay. All that I'm asking from you is that you try and stay strong. You're by far too beautiful to be doing this to yourself.." He whispered, bringing up my bandaged wrist and kissing it lightly before kissing me softly. I smiled and ran my hand across his jaw before pulling away and burrowing myself into his chest.
"My, I can't stay."
"P-Please?" He sighed.
"Jaime's getting suspicious."
"I don't c-care. I need you here." He hugged me tighter, replying with a soft "Okay."
"Thank you." He smiled and kissed my forehead.
"Get some rest. I'll try and be here when you wake up."
And so I did, my exhaustion washing over the guilt that had consumed me, and finally allowing myself to fall asleep.
But I couldn't help but think about the risks. I couldn't have Tony hurt, or any of them for that matter. I had to do what was best, to keep them safe.
I loved them, please know that I really loved them, but I had to let them go.
I had to leave.
Notes
And here's where things get fucked up. WAIT FOR IT.Got up 2 hours early, so decided to bless you darlings with an early filler.
More from me tomorrow. Don't know if Crys can update tonight or not, but more is definitely coming soon.
Do any of you like the direction in which the story is going?
Don't worry, party next chapter, so bare with me!
Love ya babes ~
-Cassie
sequel pleeeease :D
5/14/14