The day I left San Diego was very somber, hell the week after the wedding was very somber. It pretty much perpetually stormed the whole time. Definitely not usual weather for San Diego. I spent most of the time sulking in my hotel room. I don't know why I'm taking this so hard, it was one night. One night that led to old feelings and explanations. I can't seem to get it out of my head. It's what's best though, best for the both of us.

I just can't shake what Vic said though, "I think you guys were wrong though. I think it'll hurt the both of you more if you stay away." He might have only said it to make me feel better, but nonetheless I can't stop imagining different situations in which he was right. It's too late now, what's done is done. All Tony and I ever will be is a memory, a memory I'll never be able to forget.

Right now I'm in the car with Austin, he agreed to take me to the airport. It's storming again, the thunder is off in the distance, so it's pretty calming. I could easily fall asleep watching the raindrops slide down the window of Austin's Mercedes.

"Hey Mike," Austin said as he pulled up to the gate entrance, "I know what happened between you Tony sucks, but don't let that stop you from keeping in touch with everyone kay?"

I nodded and gave him a small smile, "I probably won't move back like we talked about at the wedding, but I'm definitely keeping in touch. I might visit again for Christmas..."

The truth is I'll keep in touch and come back in the hopes of hearing about Tony. I'll spend a good part of the next few years talking to Vic in the hopes of him bringing up Tony. It's pathetic, I'm pathetic, I know. But what can I do? I realized this week that I'm overly infatuated with him. That boy flows through my head 95% of the time, and it's making me miserable.

I'll get over him eventually, but for now I'm stuck in this fucking rut. Spending my days lost in daydreams while daily life becomes trivial, I'll be on autopilot.

"Good, I'm glad," Austin said, as he helps me take my bag out of the trunk, "So I guess I'll talk to you soon?"

"Yeah," I said, my voice shaky, "Talk to you soon."

Austin pulled me in for a small hug before he got back into his car and drove off, leaving me standing alone on the curb. I take my bag and fast walk into the airport, trying to stay as dry as possible in the ever present rain.

Once finally in the airport, everything leading up to my flight is a blur. I got through security with no problems, found my gate and sat by the window while I waited. I was lost in thought as the raindrops hit the window. And before I knew it, it's was time to go. Time to leave San Diego. It's not as bitter sweet this time, considering I know I'll be back in December. Even if that is eight months away, it's a lot better than six years.

I board my flight, and to my delight, my seat is one by the window. During take off I watched the rain and the lightning. But soon we were up in the clouds and above the storm. It was still peaceful though, gazing down at the world, from so many thousands of feet off the ground.

I leaned into the side of the plane and put my headphones in. The first song that played was "Let It Land" by none other than Tonight Alive. Another band that I was in, another band that made it big after I left. Thinking back on the whole situation with Jenna and how our friendship ended, it was really unfair of me to be that mean to her. I mean, yes, that was a bitch move for her to pull, but I overreacted. She was just trying to protect me, like a good best friend would. I wonder if she still lives in San Diego... Maybe I'll visit her the next time I'm there, apologize for what happened all those years ago.

I eventually emptied my mind of all thoughts and just lost myself in my music. I found my eyelids growing heavy as Alex Gaskarth's voice rang in my ears;

Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty but I'm smiling at everything

I let my eyes close and my mind wander and eventually sleep found me.

---

I awoke to some heavy turbulence. I shot up and grabbed the seat in front of me to steady myself. I pulled my headphones out of my ears, incase something bad was going to happen, I wanted to hear what the captain or flight attendants had to say.

"Excuse me passengers," the captain said over the speaker system, "We are experiencing some severe turbulence as we approach Portland International, no need to worry though, just expect a bumpy landing."

I heard people murmuring among themselves as the turbulence continued. But I chose to ignore it and not let paranoia get the best of me. I put my headphones back in and tried to go back to sleep.

---

The next time I woke up, we were one the ground. I didn't feel like I had slept a majority of the flight though, I felt restless. I groaned as I got off of the plane. I looked outside to see the famous Maine overcast, no rain, but no sun either. Even though I only saw the San Diego sun once, it was still enough to make me miss it so much being back in Maine, where the sun never shines.

I slowly walked to baggage claim, not getting lost like I did in SD. I got my bag and called Ralph, he said he would pick me up.

After about fifteen minutes he did. He asked me about my trip, about the wedding and about my brother. I gave him very generic answers and even showed him a few pictures from my phone. I didn't want to go to deep in details, I don't want to talk about what happened the night of the wedding. I haven't told anyone here about Tony, and I don't want to start now.

After an internally long car ride, Ralph dropped me off at my apartment complex, with promises of hanging out soon. It's not that I don't like him, he's just very bland. I like my friends in SD better, they're interesting and fun to hang out with. Ralph's generic and boring, and he's my most interesting friend.

I walked slowly up the stairs to my apartment. Once I got there, I threw my bags on the couch and collapsed on my bed, determined to sleep this life away.

Notes

Title Cred: All Time Low(I went a little Remembering Sunday during this chapter...)

Umm... Sorrynotsorry?

I was going to post this last night, but my parents dragged me to a party with their co-workers. I didn't get home until like 2 am and I was too tired to finish the halfway done chapter I left open on the browser...