I Am Not Alright, and I Would Rather
Tell Your New Friends That Know One Knows You Like I Do
A week had passed since I've been back in Maine, a very slow melancholy week. I've just been glum. Glum, what a funny word, especially when you're trying to describe an emotion. It's weird that glum is such a funny word, yet the emotion it describes isn't funny at all. Glum just sucks.
It seems like Maine agrees with my mood, the weather's been even worse. Overcast, overcast and more overcast. Usually there's a few hours of sunlight a day, but there's been none this week. It definitely isn't helping my mood. If anything, the constant grey is making it so much worse.
Tonight though, I'm being forced into socializing. Ralph decided it would be fun to invite all of our friends to my house for dinner and movies. He invited himself, Erika, Edward and Dan. Erika as in my ex. For you see, she decided that she was wrong to leave me after her internet boyfriend ended up being a fake.
So she ended up at my doorstep the night after I returned from San diego, begging for me to take her back. I invited her inside and had a long talk with her. I told her that I never really felt a spark with her, that I even though I loved her, I was never in love with her. Afterwards we decided that we could definitely be friends though. Out of everyone I met in Maine, Erika is the closest to being somewhat interesting.
I sighed lightly as I prepared dinner. We're having spaghetti and meatballs, I decided that if I was being forced into this, we were having my favorite meal. The only thing left to do is boil the noodles, the meatballs were done and the sauce was simmering. I looked over at the clock, 5:55, damn, everyone's coming at 6.
Truth be told, I'd much rather be hanging out with Austin, Cam or even Kellin. Other than my brother and Jaime of course, but they're in a different country, at least Austin, Cam and Kellin are in the United States right now... And then there's Tony, I'd probably give up anything to be with him tonight.
I still can't get him off of mind. That night, the things said, the things realized, it just keeps replaying in my mind. The previously healed wound was wide open again, I haven't cried though, not since I've been in Maine, and that's something I guess.
My thought were interrupted by a knock at the door and a shrill voice, "Mike!" Erika yelled.
Of course she's here first. I may have forgot to mention, she's been all over me since we agreed to be friends. At first I thought it was friendly, but I'm realizing that it's not at all, she's not content with being friends. And I'm not going to lie, if she doesn't stop we won't even be that.
"Hey Erika," I sighed as I opened the door for her. She launched herself into me and hugged me. I shook my head and barely hugged her back.
When she pulled away I examined her outfit choice. She was wearing a white crop top with a black mini skirt and black combat boots. Her blonde hair was up in an elaborate updo that I know took her forever to do, that girl can't do her hair worth crap usually. I also noticed she was wearing the necklace I got her for 4 years. It took all of my energy not to sigh at her, she was both overdressed and underdressed at the same time. Underdressed because it's fucking cold outside, I see goosebumps on her arms. Overdressed because it's way too dressy, hell, I'm wearing sweatpants.
"So Mike," she said as I led her to the dining room, "How are you this fine evening?"
"Fine," I muttered, not wanting to talk to her.
I spent the next couple of minutes dodging conversation before the others arrived, all with in 2 minutes of each other. We talked about nothing particularly interesting, Dan's job mainly, he just got a raise. Meaning that as his friends, it's our responsibility to pat him on the back and say, 'at'a boy!'
I eventually got up to get the food from the kitchen, Ralph standing up to help me. When we were safely in the kitchen, Ralph pulled me to the side and said, "So Erika's looking pretty good tonight, eh?"
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "She looks ridiculous..."
He gave me a look that said, 'Explain.'
"First of all it's fucking cold outside, like under 60 and she's wearing a crop top," I explained, "And secondly, she's way too dressed up. I mean come on, Edward's the only one that even bothered with jeans..."
Ralph shrugged, "No offense, but what's your problem with her been recently? You dated the poor girl for 5 years, I think she's just trying to get you back..."
"I know Ralph," I said coldly, "But I don't want to be in a relationship with her, or with anyone right now. I just want to enjoy being single."
"Whatever man," Ralph said, picking up the batch of meatballs and carrying them into the dining room.
I rolled my eyes and followed with the sauce and noodles. I sat the dishes down and was about to sit in my seat, when their was a knock at the door.
I sighed, "Who else did you invite?"
"No one," Ralph responded, "Maybe it's one of your neighbors..."
I shrugged and walked through the apartment to answer the door. When I did, I felt my jaw nearly hit the floor.
"To- Tony?!"
It seems like Maine agrees with my mood, the weather's been even worse. Overcast, overcast and more overcast. Usually there's a few hours of sunlight a day, but there's been none this week. It definitely isn't helping my mood. If anything, the constant grey is making it so much worse.
Tonight though, I'm being forced into socializing. Ralph decided it would be fun to invite all of our friends to my house for dinner and movies. He invited himself, Erika, Edward and Dan. Erika as in my ex. For you see, she decided that she was wrong to leave me after her internet boyfriend ended up being a fake.
So she ended up at my doorstep the night after I returned from San diego, begging for me to take her back. I invited her inside and had a long talk with her. I told her that I never really felt a spark with her, that I even though I loved her, I was never in love with her. Afterwards we decided that we could definitely be friends though. Out of everyone I met in Maine, Erika is the closest to being somewhat interesting.
I sighed lightly as I prepared dinner. We're having spaghetti and meatballs, I decided that if I was being forced into this, we were having my favorite meal. The only thing left to do is boil the noodles, the meatballs were done and the sauce was simmering. I looked over at the clock, 5:55, damn, everyone's coming at 6.
Truth be told, I'd much rather be hanging out with Austin, Cam or even Kellin. Other than my brother and Jaime of course, but they're in a different country, at least Austin, Cam and Kellin are in the United States right now... And then there's Tony, I'd probably give up anything to be with him tonight.
I still can't get him off of mind. That night, the things said, the things realized, it just keeps replaying in my mind. The previously healed wound was wide open again, I haven't cried though, not since I've been in Maine, and that's something I guess.
My thought were interrupted by a knock at the door and a shrill voice, "Mike!" Erika yelled.
Of course she's here first. I may have forgot to mention, she's been all over me since we agreed to be friends. At first I thought it was friendly, but I'm realizing that it's not at all, she's not content with being friends. And I'm not going to lie, if she doesn't stop we won't even be that.
"Hey Erika," I sighed as I opened the door for her. She launched herself into me and hugged me. I shook my head and barely hugged her back.
When she pulled away I examined her outfit choice. She was wearing a white crop top with a black mini skirt and black combat boots. Her blonde hair was up in an elaborate updo that I know took her forever to do, that girl can't do her hair worth crap usually. I also noticed she was wearing the necklace I got her for 4 years. It took all of my energy not to sigh at her, she was both overdressed and underdressed at the same time. Underdressed because it's fucking cold outside, I see goosebumps on her arms. Overdressed because it's way too dressy, hell, I'm wearing sweatpants.
"So Mike," she said as I led her to the dining room, "How are you this fine evening?"
"Fine," I muttered, not wanting to talk to her.
I spent the next couple of minutes dodging conversation before the others arrived, all with in 2 minutes of each other. We talked about nothing particularly interesting, Dan's job mainly, he just got a raise. Meaning that as his friends, it's our responsibility to pat him on the back and say, 'at'a boy!'
I eventually got up to get the food from the kitchen, Ralph standing up to help me. When we were safely in the kitchen, Ralph pulled me to the side and said, "So Erika's looking pretty good tonight, eh?"
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "She looks ridiculous..."
He gave me a look that said, 'Explain.'
"First of all it's fucking cold outside, like under 60 and she's wearing a crop top," I explained, "And secondly, she's way too dressed up. I mean come on, Edward's the only one that even bothered with jeans..."
Ralph shrugged, "No offense, but what's your problem with her been recently? You dated the poor girl for 5 years, I think she's just trying to get you back..."
"I know Ralph," I said coldly, "But I don't want to be in a relationship with her, or with anyone right now. I just want to enjoy being single."
"Whatever man," Ralph said, picking up the batch of meatballs and carrying them into the dining room.
I rolled my eyes and followed with the sauce and noodles. I sat the dishes down and was about to sit in my seat, when their was a knock at the door.
I sighed, "Who else did you invite?"
"No one," Ralph responded, "Maybe it's one of your neighbors..."
I shrugged and walked through the apartment to answer the door. When I did, I felt my jaw nearly hit the floor.
"To- Tony?!"
Notes
Filler situation with filler characters to set up for the real shit, more soon... ^_^'Erika's outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=95096634
Title Cred: Mayday Parade
I fucking loved this story you are a natural talent!!!! :)
2/18/14