(Spencer’s POV)


“Don’t be ridiculous, Spence,” Vic said as he dragged me back to his and Mike’s house.


“I don’t want to intrude,” I mumbled.


Vic stopped walking and turned to look at me. His facial expression was stern, but also caring. “You are not intruding, Spencer. I’m not about to let you go homeless, for God’s sake,” he said firmly. I shrugged my shoulders. I felt like I owed so much to him. He saved me from Death twice, now, and, although it didn’t make sense in reality, it made sense in my head. How could I ever make that up to him?


“You don’t owe me anything,” he murmured gently, swinging an arm around my shoulder. I blushed, realizing that I had spoken out loud.


“Can we do something happy tonight?” I asked. I needed a distraction. I knew that Vic and I had things to talk about, but I wasn’t in the mood tonight. My wrist hurt like hell, and I was sure Vic’s head didn’t feel too great, either. We needed to lighten the mood a little and save the heavy stuff for later.


“Yeah, that sounds nice. I’ll call Tony and Hi—er, I’ll call Tony,” he said, stuttering a little and shaking his head. I felt terrible; the way Jaime was acting was not easy for the other guys to handle. They were supposed to be best friends, band mates, and brothers. I knew seeing Jaime like this was really hard for them.


“Okay, I’m going to go take a shower,” I said. I hated smelling like a hospital. I gave him a half-smile and a significant look, and then I turned away.


Before I even took a step, Vic pulled me back, wrapping me into a strong hug. It was comforting, and I sighed into his shoulder. I needed that. I think he needed that, too. He let me go, and then I made my way over to the bathroom.


I tried not to think as I showered. I scrubbed my body completely and I washed my hair three times until I felt clean, until I felt like a completely different person. The shower was a comfortable warm temperature, and the bathroom was steamy when I finished. I sighed, soaking in the heat.


I wrapped myself in a towel and then walked back into the guest room. The contrast between the steamy bathroom and the air-conditioned bedroom gave me the chills.


“Shit,” I muttered to myself, sitting down on the edge of the bed. All of my clothes were at Jaime’s place.


“Looks like you have to go naked,” Vic suddenly appeared, smiling, in the doorway. I chucked a nearby pillow at him.


“Can I please borrow clothes?” I asked after recovering from his surprise appearance.


He chuckled. “Yeah, here you go,” he already had a pair of boxers and a black t-shirt in his hands, anticipating that I would need them. I decided just to re-wear my bra. I wasn’t about to go bra-less in front of three guys.


“Thanks,” I smiled. “Turn around mister,” I said seriously. He laughed again and turned around. My heart wrenched. This situation was all too familiar.


“Jaime, I have no clothes,” I whined, embarrassed.


“That sucks for you, doesn’t it?” he grinned. “Look’s like you’ll have to wear that lovely hospital gown for a while, I guess,” he winked. I blushed. “Your butt might get cold,” he added.


“I’ll get you ugly hospital clothes, and then you can wear some of mine when we get back,” he said, standing up. He walked to the door, then turned back. “Unless you don’t want them. I’m fine either way,” he smiled evilly.


“Jaime! Go!” I raised my voice, trying to contain a giggle. His eyes twinkled at me for a moment, and then he left the room.


I sat still for a moment, and I noticed that I was sitting there smiling dumbly at myself.


“Here you go,” Jaime reentered, tossing me clothes.


“Thanks,” I mumbled, waiting for him to turn around so I could change. I raised an eyebrow at him.


“Right, sorry,” he said, turning around. I caught his light blush, though, before he turned.


I carefully put on the baggy sweatpants and t-shirt. It was slightly difficult with my burns, but somehow I managed without any help. I wouldn’t want to have Jaime help me, considering I lacked any form of underwear.


“That’s hot,” he joked when I told him it was safe to turn around. I glared at him as we left the room.


I shook the memory out of my head. That was the beginning of the good times we used to have. When we were happy. When bad things happened, but good things happened more.


I fought the tear that was threatening to fall, and then I took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m good. Thanks,” I said.


He turned back around and smiled, hooking his arm in mine. “Tony thought it would be a good idea to get out of the house,” he said.


“Vic, I’m practically in pajamas!” I protested, despite agreeing with the idea.


“We will all wear pajamas with you,” he grinned.


“Okay, then,” I grinned back. “What does he have in mind?”


“Mini golf! There is a Space themed one not too far away!” Tony suddenly appeared, smiling from ear to ear.


“That sounds fun,” I said.


“You’ll be taking that back when I kick your ass,” Mike said. I laughed. I appreciated the lengths they were taking to help me momentarily forget the bad things. But then I realized that it was for them, too. They needed this just as much as I did.


Tony had on star wars pajama pants and a black shirt, Vic had on Coralline themed pajama bottoms and a white shirt, and Mike was wearing pajama bottoms that had lightning bolts on them, with no shirt, of course. We looked ridiculous, but we also looked awesome. Plus, we were comfortable.


“Mike, are you sure they will let you in with no shirt?” I asked when we were on our way.


“I brought one just in case. But I have so many tattoos I don’t think it even matters,” he said. I shrugged my shoulders.


“Whatever you say, Mikey,” I said.


Before we went mini-golfing, we grabbed a bite to eat at a nearby pizza place. They made Mike put on a shirt.


“Told you,” I said, grinning.


He stuck his tongue out at me, and I gagged at the chewed up pizza still on his tongue.


“Nobody wants to see that, man,” Vic said, shaking his head.


We finished quickly, and then we went over to the mini-golf. It was a “Galaxy Golf”, and Tony was all over it.


“It’s like star wars, guys!” he said, sounding like an over-enthusiastic fifth grader.


Mike wasn’t lying about his mini-gold skills. He beat us all by a landslide. Tony was the second best, while I was last. Not that it mattered, anyway; we had so much fun, and not once did Jaime cross my mind.


Before we went back to the Fuentes’ house, we stopped for ice cream.


“Vic, you have chocolate all over your face,” Tony shook his head at the mess that was Vic.


“Sowwy,” he frowned. He sounded like a little kid.


“You guys are grown men, yet you wear pajamas in public and eat ice cream like two year olds!” I laughed.


I looked at Vic again. He had chocolate ice cream all over the lower half of his face. I couldn’t stop myself; I impulsively reached over and licked his nose.


“Mm, chocolate,” I giggled. He laughed back, accepting the napkins that I handed him. I wasn’t sure if I had just crossed a boundary, but he didn’t seem to mind. Tony and Mike didn’t really seem fazed, either, so I carried on as if I didn’t just lick chocolate ice cream off of the tip of my… ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s nose.


The night was a success. When we got back, I was too zonked to do anything else. I was just glad that I was able to enjoy myself with my friends, despite all of the terrible shit that I thought was swallowing me whole.


I fell asleep almost instantly when my head hit the pillow, satisfied with my night out.


It was nice feeling momentarily peaceful.


Momentarily.


~~


There was a knock on the door. I yawned, looking at the time. Shit, it was five in the morning! Who could possibly be knocking at the door at this hour? I closed my eyes again, expecting the person to leave or for Vic or Mike or Tony to answer the door.


The knocking continued, and a mixture of annoyance and fear melted through my blood stream. I decided to get up and check it out. I rolled out of bed and lightly made my way to the front door. I peeked around the corner before going there, trying to see who it was.


A recognizable face was looking through the window next to the door. He smiled when he saw me, but I stood still. What was Jaime doing here? I didn’t want to see him, or talk to him, or have anything to do with him. It hurt so much, especially because we had so much history. We had so many happy times together, and now they were all forgotten in the midst of despair.


Except I couldn’t forget. It was torture. I knew how good he could be, but now he was terrible, and I just couldn’t fathom it. Tears welled up in my eyes as I slowly walked to the door, dying to figure out what the fuck he wanted. If he was here to apologize, I wasn’t sure if I could accept it. I wanted to, but I would never be able to forget what happened. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.


As I approached the door, the tears flowed at a constant rate. I was sure this was going to be goodbye. He was not the same Jaime I fell in love with. He was not the same Jaime the saved me. The events of the past months changed him, and, I was afraid but also completely sure, that they changed him permanently, and for worse.


This imminent goodbye was almost worse than the goodbye I said to him when Vic and I almost died…


Jaime… You’ll be okay… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry about Vic, and everyone. But you’ll be okay! You have to be okay… Find a girl, fall in love again… marry her, spoil the shit out of her, fix her if she needs fixing. Never leave her. Love her forever. Fix yourself. I know you’re going to need someone, Jaime. So find a girl who can fix you, too, and never let her go.


I choked on sobs as my hand reached for the door handle.


Why couldn’t I be that girl that he loved forever, that he never let go? It was impossible now. There was no turning back.


I opened the door, and he smiled weakly at me.


“Hi,” he said quietly.


“What do you want?” I asked, trying to sound strong, trying to sound angry… but it just didn’t happen. My voice was broken.


“I wanted to apologize,” I rolled my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. “And, I know you won’t forgive me. I don’t forgive me, myself. I have a lot of problems, but I’m afraid I need to fix them on my own. I got you something, though,” he held out a square box, about the size of a head.


I stepped back. “No,” I said warily. I didn’t want to accept anything from him. That would mean that I would have to remember him. I would be forced to remember the great times, and then the times that spoiled everything. Damn it! Why can’t things be different? I screamed in my head. It just wasn’t fair. God damn it, it wasn’t fair!


“Just take it, Spence. I know you’ve been looking for this. You need it,” he said. A weird expression plastered on to Jaime’s face. Was that a smirk? I furrowed my eyebrows, but I slowly took the package. When I opened it, I screamed.


“See, Spencer? You’ll always remember me!” He snickered.


I stumbled backwards, dropping the box on the ground. The pink, horrific brain inside of the box rolled out of it, making a terrible sloshing noise.


I put my hands on my head in anguish. “Ow!” I screamed. I released my hands, seeing them covered in blood. I cried, stumbling up to look in a mirror. I screamed again in horror and pain. My head… blood… my mind was figuratively and literally gone.


Jaime was right. I will never forget him.


I screamed again, but this time I opened my eyes.I tried to catch my breath. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. I put my hands onto my head, just to be sure. I sighed. It wasn’t a dream; it was a nightmare.


“Spencer, what’s wrong?” all of a sudden I look up to see Vic standing in the doorway. I stared at him, wide-eyed, unable to form words. “Are you okay?” he asked.


I shook my head. No! I was far from okay! I would never be okay again! He nodded, as if he knew what I was thinking about, and then he slowly walked over to me. He sat at the edge of the bed and turned, opening his arms. I didn’t even notice that he was shirtless until I accepted the hug, but I also didn’t really care. He was warm and comforting. He hummed our song in my ear until I calmed down.


“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly. Vic and I still had so much to talk about, so I decided to save it until then.


“Later,” I said tiredly.


“It’s okay,” he said, rubbing my back. I nodded, sighing. If you say so…


I laid back down, not realizing until after my head hit the pillow again that I was still clutching to Vic. “Sorry,” I said quietly.


“It’s okay,” he said again. He didn’t get up, though.


Instead, he pulled his legs up onto the bed completely, and then he wrapped his arms around me. I shouldn’t allow this, but, then again, he was comforting. Right now, I needed the comfort. So, despite the warnings flashing in my head, I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight, tucking my head into his bare chest.


It was like when we were back in the “limbo” alternate universe place, where I was afraid to let go of his hand, fearing that I would be lost forever.

Notes

I hope you enjoy this update! You guys are amazing.

Send me suggestions and such so I can keep this going!! :)