Come Back To My Heart.
It's All My Fault
*** TONY'S POV ***
I had the fucking time of my life last night. Man, Vic and Mike sure do know how to throw a party. I realised that I was ready to forgive Alice. I got up from the floor of Vic's room and checked my phone. I had 12 missed calls from my mum, 10 from my dad and a text from Alice. I figured my mum and dad were just panicked because I hadn't told them I was staying at Vic & Mike's so I shrugged it off and would phone them once I'd read Alice's text.
From: Alice <3<3
I love you so much Tone, please believe me. I’m so sorry it’s took me so long to realise it. But you’re perfect. We’re perfect. When we’re with each other I’m so content. I am so happy. Happier than I’ve ever been. I love you more than anything. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Tony, baby, please believe me. I don’t like Mike, it was a drunken mistake. I said it, yeah, in the heat of the moment but after that I fell asleep, nothing happened. It’s you I love, it’s always been you. I fucking love you Tony.
The text brought a tear to my eye and I decided to call her. It rang and rang and rang and no one picked up. It went to voicemail. This was strange of her, she never left her phone out of her sight and even if she was sleeping she still would have picked up. I was confused. This is strange of her. I decided to call my mum back.
“TONY PERRY YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK TO HIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!” was all she said, or I should say, shouted before the line went dead. Something much more serious than just me not staying at Alice’s has happened. I got home and my mum was sobbing her eyes out, she finally choked out what had happened and I feel so fucking guilty. We left the house immediately to go and see her. I did this. This is my fault.
*** ALICE'S POV ***
I’d been awake for a few hours. I figured I was in the hospital. My mum was sobbing uncontrollably on the side of my bed. I petted her hair. If I’m honest, I felt nothing. It was like I was numb. I don’t know why. I just couldn’t and didn’t feel anything. It might have been medication I was on, I’m not sure. Apparently I was out for quite a while. I didn’t want to be out for ‘quite a while’. I wanted to be out forever. I sighed, sitting myself up.
“Mamma, please stop crying. It’s okay. I’m here. I love you and everything will be okay. Okay?” she nodded and kissed my forehead.
I seen Tony’s mums face in the little window of the door and smiled weakly. I felt stupid being in here on suicide watch. I felt like an idiot. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t have done it, part of me feels like I should be dead right now. I’m not sure how to feel about being alive. I don’t exactly have much to be happy about. School’s shit. I get bullied. I’m fat. I don’t have very good grades. I don’t have much of a future ahead of me. I don’t have any friends anymore. My best friend hates me. That best friend is also the love of my life. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I seen him walk through the door. I shook my head and it was like my mum read my mind. She walked over to Tony and whispered something about sitting outside for a bit.
I was glad if I'm honest. I might start to feel something if he comes near. And who needs that? Afterall that's why I'm here, on suicide watch, stupid love.
*** TONY'S POV ***
I'm not surprised she doesn't want to see me. My mum explained everything to me and that she’s on suicide watch for another day and then she can get out. I wonder if she’ll ever want to speak to me again. I know she won’t want to speak to Mike, that’s for sure. I decide to walk outside of the hospital until she’s ready to talk. I need some air myself, hospitals freak me out. I phone Vic and let him know everything that’s going on.
“Hey man, where did you get to?” Vic said, sounding still sleepy.
“Uh I had to go and get my mum. Uh… Vic are you with all the guys?”
He yawned before answering, “Yeah, why?”
“Put me on loudspeaker dude. I need to tell you all something important”
“Yeah okay. Okay done, talk.”
“Okay thanks man. Uhm..." I paused, stopping the tears in my eyes from falling. "Okay fuck it I’m just going to say it. Alice tried to commit suicide last night and she was still out until this morning. She’s came round and she’s on suicide watch for another day, then she’s getting out. She cut her wrists up pretty bad man. She doesn’t want to speak to me, meaning she won’t want to speak to you, Mike, either. I- I just thought I should let you all know. I feel so fucking shit guys, this is my fault.”
“Dude it’s not your fault, we’re coming up. We don’t even need to go in we’re just coming up to support you okay? We know how much you love her.” Jaime said.
“Yeah man, we’ll shower and get ready and then we’ll be on our way.” Vic said shortly after.
“I’m so sorry Tone.” Mike mumbled. I can tell he felt bad too. I secretly knew he liked her. He admitted it to me last night and he admitted that’s why he got so pissed.
“It’s not your fault man, it’s mine. Anyway. I’ll see you guys soon. I’ll probably still be outside.”
We said our goodbyes and I hung up, staring into space. I don’t know what to do.
I had the fucking time of my life last night. Man, Vic and Mike sure do know how to throw a party. I realised that I was ready to forgive Alice. I got up from the floor of Vic's room and checked my phone. I had 12 missed calls from my mum, 10 from my dad and a text from Alice. I figured my mum and dad were just panicked because I hadn't told them I was staying at Vic & Mike's so I shrugged it off and would phone them once I'd read Alice's text.
From: Alice <3<3
I love you so much Tone, please believe me. I’m so sorry it’s took me so long to realise it. But you’re perfect. We’re perfect. When we’re with each other I’m so content. I am so happy. Happier than I’ve ever been. I love you more than anything. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Tony, baby, please believe me. I don’t like Mike, it was a drunken mistake. I said it, yeah, in the heat of the moment but after that I fell asleep, nothing happened. It’s you I love, it’s always been you. I fucking love you Tony.
The text brought a tear to my eye and I decided to call her. It rang and rang and rang and no one picked up. It went to voicemail. This was strange of her, she never left her phone out of her sight and even if she was sleeping she still would have picked up. I was confused. This is strange of her. I decided to call my mum back.
“TONY PERRY YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK TO HIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!” was all she said, or I should say, shouted before the line went dead. Something much more serious than just me not staying at Alice’s has happened. I got home and my mum was sobbing her eyes out, she finally choked out what had happened and I feel so fucking guilty. We left the house immediately to go and see her. I did this. This is my fault.
*** ALICE'S POV ***
I’d been awake for a few hours. I figured I was in the hospital. My mum was sobbing uncontrollably on the side of my bed. I petted her hair. If I’m honest, I felt nothing. It was like I was numb. I don’t know why. I just couldn’t and didn’t feel anything. It might have been medication I was on, I’m not sure. Apparently I was out for quite a while. I didn’t want to be out for ‘quite a while’. I wanted to be out forever. I sighed, sitting myself up.
“Mamma, please stop crying. It’s okay. I’m here. I love you and everything will be okay. Okay?” she nodded and kissed my forehead.
I seen Tony’s mums face in the little window of the door and smiled weakly. I felt stupid being in here on suicide watch. I felt like an idiot. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t have done it, part of me feels like I should be dead right now. I’m not sure how to feel about being alive. I don’t exactly have much to be happy about. School’s shit. I get bullied. I’m fat. I don’t have very good grades. I don’t have much of a future ahead of me. I don’t have any friends anymore. My best friend hates me. That best friend is also the love of my life. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I seen him walk through the door. I shook my head and it was like my mum read my mind. She walked over to Tony and whispered something about sitting outside for a bit.
I was glad if I'm honest. I might start to feel something if he comes near. And who needs that? Afterall that's why I'm here, on suicide watch, stupid love.
*** TONY'S POV ***
I'm not surprised she doesn't want to see me. My mum explained everything to me and that she’s on suicide watch for another day and then she can get out. I wonder if she’ll ever want to speak to me again. I know she won’t want to speak to Mike, that’s for sure. I decide to walk outside of the hospital until she’s ready to talk. I need some air myself, hospitals freak me out. I phone Vic and let him know everything that’s going on.
“Hey man, where did you get to?” Vic said, sounding still sleepy.
“Uh I had to go and get my mum. Uh… Vic are you with all the guys?”
He yawned before answering, “Yeah, why?”
“Put me on loudspeaker dude. I need to tell you all something important”
“Yeah okay. Okay done, talk.”
“Okay thanks man. Uhm..." I paused, stopping the tears in my eyes from falling. "Okay fuck it I’m just going to say it. Alice tried to commit suicide last night and she was still out until this morning. She’s came round and she’s on suicide watch for another day, then she’s getting out. She cut her wrists up pretty bad man. She doesn’t want to speak to me, meaning she won’t want to speak to you, Mike, either. I- I just thought I should let you all know. I feel so fucking shit guys, this is my fault.”
“Dude it’s not your fault, we’re coming up. We don’t even need to go in we’re just coming up to support you okay? We know how much you love her.” Jaime said.
“Yeah man, we’ll shower and get ready and then we’ll be on our way.” Vic said shortly after.
“I’m so sorry Tone.” Mike mumbled. I can tell he felt bad too. I secretly knew he liked her. He admitted it to me last night and he admitted that’s why he got so pissed.
“It’s not your fault man, it’s mine. Anyway. I’ll see you guys soon. I’ll probably still be outside.”
We said our goodbyes and I hung up, staring into space. I don’t know what to do.
Notes
I'm so sorry that I haven't updated. There's a lot of stuff going on in my family home recently... And I've been dying to write, I just haven't had the time! But now I'm at my dads and I'll update every day I'm here. There should be another update on this story tonight for definite and I'm going to do a few chapters on my Mike story too - which is called 'Will You Fall In Love Again?'Thank you so much for reading! <3
Thanks lovely!
8/2/13