Skin and Bones
Chapter 16
I froze; Was this amazing creature really kissing me? The voice in my head went crazy as I kissed him back;
You'recrazy. He'splayingyoulikeadeckofcards. You'reunlovable. Hehatesyou. Hewantsyoutosuffer. You'renothingbutapatheticfag. Dousallafavorandkillyourself. You'redisgusting. Youdon'tdeservehim. Youdeservepain. You'reweak.
He pulled back all to soon, but didn't move his hands from my face, "Do you believe me yet?" he whispered.
I felt my face growing red as I stared as him, he looked determined. Determinedtomakeyousuffer. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I want my life back! I fell out of Tony's grasp and on to the ground, I felt him and my brother next to me. And I was in someone's arms again, but this time they weren't Tony's, they were Vic's.
"Maybe you should go," he said, coldy, "Once we get things figured out I'll call you ok?"
Tony didn't say anything, he just stood up and walked away. I opened my mouth, with the intentions of telling him to stay, but I couldn't make my vocal cords work. As he walked out of the room, I felt tears filling my eyes again. Don't go. He'snevercomingback.
I put my hands on my head, "Get out of my head!" I yelled, not caring who heard anymore.
Vic pulled me into a hug, I rested my head on his shoulder and continued sobbing. Weakling. I don't want this anymore! I'mnotgoinganywhere. At first the voice kept me strong. But now, it's left me hear, contemplating suicide. Doit! Makeusallhappy! I don't want it though, but I feel like it's the only thing that will save me...
"Shhh, you'll be ok Mike," Vic whispered, rubbing my back, "I'm not going to leave you."
I stayed there in my brother's arms and cried and cried and cried...
I woke up to a line of sunlight beaming directly acrossed my eyes. I had a massive head ache and my stomach hurt. How long have I been asleep? I stood up and remembered what happened this morning. I shuddered at the memory, but I felt strangley and peace with myself. I remember eating the egg and freaking out afterwards.
I remember Tony. Oh Tony. I'm sorry I can't be everything you think I am, I wish I could be perfect for you. I wish you knew how much I care about you. You probably hate me now, don't you? Of course you do...
I walked downstairs to see Vic sitting on the couch with his song book in his lap. He wasn't writing anything though, he was just sitting there.
"Vic?" I whispered.
His head snapped in my direction and when he saw me standing their he smiled. He motioned for me to sit next to him, which I did.
"How are you?" he asked, turning his attention towards me.
"I feel a lot better actually," I said, "A lot more at peace."
He smiled and sighed in relief, "Thank goodness. You really had us scared, Tony and I that is..."
I felt saddness fill me when he mentioned Tony. I need to talk to him, I need to apologize for not being what he thinks I am.
Vic must have noticed my saddness because he said, "I don't know how you feel about Tony, but I know he cares about you a lot. I wasn't sure how you felt about him kissing you, so I thought the best thing was for him to leave until you were in a better state..."
I don't even know how I felt about him kissing me yet. I thought back to the moment it happened. His soft lips pressed against mine, his taste, his hands on my face. The way he drowned out the voices, when he kissed me, they were still there but I didn't believe them for that moment. I want to kiss him again.
"Thank you," I mumbled, "I think I need to talk to Tony in private though. Ok?"
"Yeah, of course," Vic responded, pulling his phone out, "Want me to call him and have him come over again?"
"Yesh sure," I said, instantly nervous about having this conversation with him, "By the way, where are mom and dad?"
"Some kind of second honeymoon or something like that," he said, "They left this morning before you woke up, didn't say when they were coming back."
I nodded.
"So, I'm going to call Tony I guess," he said.
"Thank you Vic," I whispered, "For everything."
You'recrazy. He'splayingyoulikeadeckofcards. You'reunlovable. Hehatesyou. Hewantsyoutosuffer. You'renothingbutapatheticfag. Dousallafavorandkillyourself. You'redisgusting. Youdon'tdeservehim. Youdeservepain. You'reweak.
He pulled back all to soon, but didn't move his hands from my face, "Do you believe me yet?" he whispered.
I felt my face growing red as I stared as him, he looked determined. Determinedtomakeyousuffer. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I want my life back! I fell out of Tony's grasp and on to the ground, I felt him and my brother next to me. And I was in someone's arms again, but this time they weren't Tony's, they were Vic's.
"Maybe you should go," he said, coldy, "Once we get things figured out I'll call you ok?"
Tony didn't say anything, he just stood up and walked away. I opened my mouth, with the intentions of telling him to stay, but I couldn't make my vocal cords work. As he walked out of the room, I felt tears filling my eyes again. Don't go. He'snevercomingback.
I put my hands on my head, "Get out of my head!" I yelled, not caring who heard anymore.
Vic pulled me into a hug, I rested my head on his shoulder and continued sobbing. Weakling. I don't want this anymore! I'mnotgoinganywhere. At first the voice kept me strong. But now, it's left me hear, contemplating suicide. Doit! Makeusallhappy! I don't want it though, but I feel like it's the only thing that will save me...
"Shhh, you'll be ok Mike," Vic whispered, rubbing my back, "I'm not going to leave you."
I stayed there in my brother's arms and cried and cried and cried...
I woke up to a line of sunlight beaming directly acrossed my eyes. I had a massive head ache and my stomach hurt. How long have I been asleep? I stood up and remembered what happened this morning. I shuddered at the memory, but I felt strangley and peace with myself. I remember eating the egg and freaking out afterwards.
I remember Tony. Oh Tony. I'm sorry I can't be everything you think I am, I wish I could be perfect for you. I wish you knew how much I care about you. You probably hate me now, don't you? Of course you do...
I walked downstairs to see Vic sitting on the couch with his song book in his lap. He wasn't writing anything though, he was just sitting there.
"Vic?" I whispered.
His head snapped in my direction and when he saw me standing their he smiled. He motioned for me to sit next to him, which I did.
"How are you?" he asked, turning his attention towards me.
"I feel a lot better actually," I said, "A lot more at peace."
He smiled and sighed in relief, "Thank goodness. You really had us scared, Tony and I that is..."
I felt saddness fill me when he mentioned Tony. I need to talk to him, I need to apologize for not being what he thinks I am.
Vic must have noticed my saddness because he said, "I don't know how you feel about Tony, but I know he cares about you a lot. I wasn't sure how you felt about him kissing you, so I thought the best thing was for him to leave until you were in a better state..."
I don't even know how I felt about him kissing me yet. I thought back to the moment it happened. His soft lips pressed against mine, his taste, his hands on my face. The way he drowned out the voices, when he kissed me, they were still there but I didn't believe them for that moment. I want to kiss him again.
"Thank you," I mumbled, "I think I need to talk to Tony in private though. Ok?"
"Yeah, of course," Vic responded, pulling his phone out, "Want me to call him and have him come over again?"
"Yesh sure," I said, instantly nervous about having this conversation with him, "By the way, where are mom and dad?"
"Some kind of second honeymoon or something like that," he said, "They left this morning before you woke up, didn't say when they were coming back."
I nodded.
"So, I'm going to call Tony I guess," he said.
"Thank you Vic," I whispered, "For everything."
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Bae! <3
8/10/14