What's So Good About Picking Up the Pieces?
Chapter Twenty-One.
Lyla's P.O.V:
I had been pacing the waiting room at the hospital for what felt like hours now. I had no idea where Austin was or what was happening; all I could think about was how I had seen him earlier. After I had reached the stage I saw him slumped against a rolling equiptment case, Alan kneeling at his side rubbing his back as he struggled for air. When our eyes met my heart broke; he looked scared, and I tried everything I could to help him, to calm him down and reassure him everything would be okay.
They allowed me to ride with him in the ambulance, and I clinged to his hand the entire time as he tried to fight the pain in his chest as he gasped for every breath. He had eventually passed out from hyperventilating, but I never let go of his hand.
They had dumped me in the waiting room leaving me with nothing but a million questions and worries floating in my mind as I paced; I couldn't make myself stop, I couldn't calm down enough to sit. I didn't want to focus on what was happening in there, wherever he was. He had to be okay. I don't know what I would do if something happened to my best friend.
"Lyla!" I heard a familiar voice holler from behind me and I turned to see Alan running through the entrance towards me, Vic, Mike, Tino, and Phil following closely behind. Alan hugged me and I let the tears out, letting them fall freely from my tired eyes. Alan stroked the back of my head as I cried into his chest. "Have you heard anything?" He asked quietly and I shook my head.
"No. It's been a while, too. I've tried asking but no one will tell me anything, and I've been pacing back and forth trying to pass the time," I managed to choke out through my sobs. I felt Alan seperate from me, but I soon felt another pair of arms wrap around. I opened my eyes: it was Vic. I wrapped my arms around him tightly as I cried.
"I know, baby. It'll be okay. Carlile's a fighter, he'll be just fine," he whispered, trying to reassure me. I willed the tears to stop, glad to be in Vic's arms again. Having him here already made me feel a little better; I felt safe in his arms. I belonged here. He pulled me over to the uncomfortable-looking couch in the waiting room and sat us down, Vic pulling me close to him, his arms never leaving my body. I rested my head on his chest as he rubbed my back and my side. The couch moved a little as someone sat down next to me and grabbed my hand; I looked over to see the other Fuentes brother and I smiled a little as he squeezed my hand tight.
We all sat for a while in silence, the hustle and bustle of the people rushing around the hosptial fading into the distance as my mind wandered; I tried to keep my thoughts positive, but my mind had other plans. I was worried, my body tense, and Vic could sense it as he tightened his grip around me.
"Austin Carlile?" A woman shouted, pulling me out of my thoughts. I practically jumped from the couch as I made my way over to her, Alan, Tino, and Phil following.
"How is he? Is he okay?" My words were frantic as they spilled quickly from my mouth.
"He is awake, yes. I'm sorry I can't disclose any other information. Due to privacy it is limited to family only," the nurse replied sadly.
"I'm, uh, I'm his sister!" I replied, not even thinking before I said it. The boys nodded their heads in agreement, going along with my plan. The nurse eyed me suspiciously before nodding her head.
"Okay, follow me miss." I looked back at Vic and he nodded his head before I disappeared behind the double doors, following the nurse down a series of halls and corridors until I reached a closed door where a man in a white coat was standing outside scribbling on a chart. "Dr. Morris, this is Mr. Carlile's sister." The doctor thanked her before she walked off, leaving me alone with the middle-aged man.
"How is my brother?" I asked him.
"Well, Ms. Carlile-" I cut him off.
"Please, Lyla," I responded and he nodded his head.
"Okay, Lyla, you're brother is stable. He suffered an aortic anuerism this morning. Basically, the major vessel in his heart had a tear in it, causing his heart to fill with blood." The doctor spoke as I took in all that he was saying to me.
"But- his last surgery.......I thought they replaced parts of his aorta with artificial parts to prevent that from happening again?" I questioned the doctor as I began to remember all that Austin had told me about his heart issues in the past.
"That is correct, Lyla, but it appears that his heart has been enduring a vast amount of stress as of late, and his aorta, fake or not, could not keep up with the demand." I shook my head as he spoke.
"Okay. So, what now?" I was trying to keep myself calm and collected, though my nerves were threatening to push me over the edge.
"He is going to have to undergo a full aortic valve replacement surgery. We are going to airlift him back to Los Angeles later tonight so that his heart specialist can perform the surgery tomorrow afternoon," I felt the tears poking at my eyes again, and the doctor put a hand on my shoulder. "This is a very common procedure, and his heart specialist is one of the best in the nation. It is a major surgery, though, and he is going to need to take quite a bit of time off afterwards to avoid further damage." I nodded my head though I ws breaking on the inside; Austin was going to be so upset to know that they would have to miss out on the last leg of Warped, as well as having to cancel their UK headliner that was scheduled shortly after.
"Can I see him? Is he awake?" I asked.
"Absolutely. Go on in," the doctor said and I thanked him before he walked off. I took a deep breath and collected myself before I slowly opened the door. Austin was sitting up in the hospital bed, wires and tubes connected to him, and he was sipping water out of a straw. He smiled when he saw me and I forced one as I shut the door behind me.
"Lyle, hey!" he hollered excitedly. I stood at the edge of the bed as I took in the sight before me; I hadn't even seen him in the hospital before. He hadn't had any major problems with his heart since we had been friends, and it was almost too much for me to handle."Wait....how did you manage to sneak back here?" he raised his eyebrows at me as he sucked at his straw again.
"I may or may not have said I was your sister," I giggled a little and shrugged my shoulders. Austin laughed a little, but stopped as I saw him wince in pain. He saw me looking at him.
"Lyla, I'm fine, it's nothing." he mumbled.
"No, it's not nothing. One of the perks of being your "sister" is that the doctor told me everything, Austin. You don't have to pretend, okay? It's just me...." I trailed off as my eyes met his; he still looked scared and fragile; I had never seen him that way and it hurt me to know my best friend was in pain. He scooted over in the bed and patted the space next to him. "Austin-" he cut me off by shaking his head. I finally obliged and laid next to him. He pulled me against him tightly, ignoring the pain it was causing him.
"I'm scared," I heard him whisper. I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
"I know. Me too," I replied as he hugged me tighter to him. "But, it's going to be okay. I'm coming home with you." He sat me up and looked at me and began to protest. "Stop, Austin, I've made up my mind. You're having surgery tomorrow, and I'm going to be there whether you like it or not. And then I'm going to be there to take care of you because that's what I'm here for."
"Lyla. What about the tour? And Vic?" he asked still fighting with me trying to change my mind.
"Well, first of all I work for you so if you're not going to be there I'm out a job," I chuckled a little and he smiled at me. "But, if you're not going to be there I don't want to be there either. And Vic.........he'll understand." I laid back down on Austin's chest, listening to his faint, erratic heart beat, feeling his chest rise and fall slowly.
Hopefully........hopefully Vic would understand. I wasn't sure how he would react. I didn't want this to get between what we had just started, but I wasn't changing my mind. Austin needed me; he had been there all the times I needed him. Now it was my turn to be there for him.
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Vic's P.O.V:
We had just got off stage. I ran to our bus to change out of my sweaty clothes before heading over to OM&M's bus to find Lyla. I knocked a few times on the door before letting myself in. I looked over and saw Lyla at her bunk messing with her suitcase.
"Hey, babe," I said as I walked towards her. She looked up from what she was doing and smiled at me, biting slightly at her bottom lip.
"Hi." Her voice was quiet. I closed the space between us and pulled her into a tight hug. She buried her face in my chest and I rubbed her back softly. She pulled away from me a little and looked up and kissed my lips passionately, her hands moving up to my face. I pulled her against me and our lips moved in sync for a while before she pulled away again. She gave me one more peck on the lips before turning her attention back to what she was doing.
"What are you doing, Ly?" I asked as I looked at her curiously. She looked up at me after she zipped her suitcase and grabbed my hand pulling me to the couch.
"Austin has to have surgery in the morning. The valve in his heart tore again and they have to replace it." Her voice was full of sadness and I took a deep breath. "They can't finish the tour; his heart has sustained too much damage, and he has to take a lot of time off to recover. So I'm catching a red eye back to LA so I can be there for his surgery tomorrow because the guys can't be; they have to finish packing up and drive with the gear back home." I looked at her as the realization that she was leaving set in.
"But you're coming back, right?" I asked, even though I was afraid to hear the answer. She looked me in the eyes and sqeezed my hand.
"Vic- the band is done for the summer. I need to go back home and find a job. I can't stay here; the only reason I was here was to work-" I cut her off.
"You can work for us, Ly. You can stay on our bus with me; we can figure it out." I was pleading with her to stay; I didn't want her to go.
"Vic.....Austin needs me. I need to be there for him, to help him. He has been there to help me whenever I needed it. It's my turn to be a friend for him." She was trying to reason with me, and I could see where she was coming from, but I couldn't make my mind be okay with it.
"Why can't Alan or one of the other guys take care of him? Why can't he take care of himself? He's a big boy-" I stopped as I realized how angry my voice was, how tense my body had become. She let go of my hand like it was on fire as her face changed to anger.
"You're really going to fight with me about this? I thought you would understand. Why are you being such an ass?" She yelled as she stood from the couch.
"Because you're not his girlfriend, Lyla! You're mine! And you have no obligation to take care of him!" I yelled back at her, immediatly regretting my words as her body tensed.
"You're right, Vic! I'm not his girlfriend! But he's my best friend; he's been there for me when no one else was! Do you have any idea how many times he's saved me, Vic?" Her voice cracked like she was about to cry, but she choked back the tears.
"Are we really going to bring up the fact that I haven't been there again? How many times do I have to apologize for what happened in the past, Lyla? How can we ever move forward if you're stuck in the past!" She looked hurt by my words this time, and she scoffed under her breath as a tear rolled down her rosy cheeks.
"Wow. Yeah, okay Vic whatever you say. I can't believe I actually thought that you would act civil about this. Whatever, I'm leaving anyway so you can go." She spat her words out at me. I hated myself at this point; I didn't want to go. I didn't want her to go. I stood up and walked to her and grabbed her tightly, wrapping my arms around her. She struggled to get out of my hold, but I refused to let her go. After a while of fighting with me I felt her body go limp as she broke down in tears again. It took her a while, but she eventually wrapped her arms around my waist as she cried.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just-I'm scared of losing you when I just got you back," I mumbled into her hair as I kissed the side of her head.
"Vic, just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I love you and I'm not giving up on this. But I need you to understand why I have to go," she muttered as she tried to stop her sobs.
"I do. I understand. It'll be okay, Lyla." I leaned her up and kissed her forehead.
"I'll still be yours when the tour is over. I'm not going anywhere. I mean-I am, but....you know what I mean." she laughed a little and cracked a small smile.
"I love you," I said before kissing her softly. She responded, her lips pressing against mine.
"I know. I love you too," she replied. We sat on the couch and spent the next 2 hours cuddling, watching tv, and making out before she had to be at the airport.
I would miss her, more than I could even phathom, but I was determined to make this work no matter how far away we were from each other.
I didn't actually think this would be easy, did I?
I had been pacing the waiting room at the hospital for what felt like hours now. I had no idea where Austin was or what was happening; all I could think about was how I had seen him earlier. After I had reached the stage I saw him slumped against a rolling equiptment case, Alan kneeling at his side rubbing his back as he struggled for air. When our eyes met my heart broke; he looked scared, and I tried everything I could to help him, to calm him down and reassure him everything would be okay.
They allowed me to ride with him in the ambulance, and I clinged to his hand the entire time as he tried to fight the pain in his chest as he gasped for every breath. He had eventually passed out from hyperventilating, but I never let go of his hand.
They had dumped me in the waiting room leaving me with nothing but a million questions and worries floating in my mind as I paced; I couldn't make myself stop, I couldn't calm down enough to sit. I didn't want to focus on what was happening in there, wherever he was. He had to be okay. I don't know what I would do if something happened to my best friend.
"Lyla!" I heard a familiar voice holler from behind me and I turned to see Alan running through the entrance towards me, Vic, Mike, Tino, and Phil following closely behind. Alan hugged me and I let the tears out, letting them fall freely from my tired eyes. Alan stroked the back of my head as I cried into his chest. "Have you heard anything?" He asked quietly and I shook my head.
"No. It's been a while, too. I've tried asking but no one will tell me anything, and I've been pacing back and forth trying to pass the time," I managed to choke out through my sobs. I felt Alan seperate from me, but I soon felt another pair of arms wrap around. I opened my eyes: it was Vic. I wrapped my arms around him tightly as I cried.
"I know, baby. It'll be okay. Carlile's a fighter, he'll be just fine," he whispered, trying to reassure me. I willed the tears to stop, glad to be in Vic's arms again. Having him here already made me feel a little better; I felt safe in his arms. I belonged here. He pulled me over to the uncomfortable-looking couch in the waiting room and sat us down, Vic pulling me close to him, his arms never leaving my body. I rested my head on his chest as he rubbed my back and my side. The couch moved a little as someone sat down next to me and grabbed my hand; I looked over to see the other Fuentes brother and I smiled a little as he squeezed my hand tight.
We all sat for a while in silence, the hustle and bustle of the people rushing around the hosptial fading into the distance as my mind wandered; I tried to keep my thoughts positive, but my mind had other plans. I was worried, my body tense, and Vic could sense it as he tightened his grip around me.
"Austin Carlile?" A woman shouted, pulling me out of my thoughts. I practically jumped from the couch as I made my way over to her, Alan, Tino, and Phil following.
"How is he? Is he okay?" My words were frantic as they spilled quickly from my mouth.
"He is awake, yes. I'm sorry I can't disclose any other information. Due to privacy it is limited to family only," the nurse replied sadly.
"I'm, uh, I'm his sister!" I replied, not even thinking before I said it. The boys nodded their heads in agreement, going along with my plan. The nurse eyed me suspiciously before nodding her head.
"Okay, follow me miss." I looked back at Vic and he nodded his head before I disappeared behind the double doors, following the nurse down a series of halls and corridors until I reached a closed door where a man in a white coat was standing outside scribbling on a chart. "Dr. Morris, this is Mr. Carlile's sister." The doctor thanked her before she walked off, leaving me alone with the middle-aged man.
"How is my brother?" I asked him.
"Well, Ms. Carlile-" I cut him off.
"Please, Lyla," I responded and he nodded his head.
"Okay, Lyla, you're brother is stable. He suffered an aortic anuerism this morning. Basically, the major vessel in his heart had a tear in it, causing his heart to fill with blood." The doctor spoke as I took in all that he was saying to me.
"But- his last surgery.......I thought they replaced parts of his aorta with artificial parts to prevent that from happening again?" I questioned the doctor as I began to remember all that Austin had told me about his heart issues in the past.
"That is correct, Lyla, but it appears that his heart has been enduring a vast amount of stress as of late, and his aorta, fake or not, could not keep up with the demand." I shook my head as he spoke.
"Okay. So, what now?" I was trying to keep myself calm and collected, though my nerves were threatening to push me over the edge.
"He is going to have to undergo a full aortic valve replacement surgery. We are going to airlift him back to Los Angeles later tonight so that his heart specialist can perform the surgery tomorrow afternoon," I felt the tears poking at my eyes again, and the doctor put a hand on my shoulder. "This is a very common procedure, and his heart specialist is one of the best in the nation. It is a major surgery, though, and he is going to need to take quite a bit of time off afterwards to avoid further damage." I nodded my head though I ws breaking on the inside; Austin was going to be so upset to know that they would have to miss out on the last leg of Warped, as well as having to cancel their UK headliner that was scheduled shortly after.
"Can I see him? Is he awake?" I asked.
"Absolutely. Go on in," the doctor said and I thanked him before he walked off. I took a deep breath and collected myself before I slowly opened the door. Austin was sitting up in the hospital bed, wires and tubes connected to him, and he was sipping water out of a straw. He smiled when he saw me and I forced one as I shut the door behind me.
"Lyle, hey!" he hollered excitedly. I stood at the edge of the bed as I took in the sight before me; I hadn't even seen him in the hospital before. He hadn't had any major problems with his heart since we had been friends, and it was almost too much for me to handle."Wait....how did you manage to sneak back here?" he raised his eyebrows at me as he sucked at his straw again.
"I may or may not have said I was your sister," I giggled a little and shrugged my shoulders. Austin laughed a little, but stopped as I saw him wince in pain. He saw me looking at him.
"Lyla, I'm fine, it's nothing." he mumbled.
"No, it's not nothing. One of the perks of being your "sister" is that the doctor told me everything, Austin. You don't have to pretend, okay? It's just me...." I trailed off as my eyes met his; he still looked scared and fragile; I had never seen him that way and it hurt me to know my best friend was in pain. He scooted over in the bed and patted the space next to him. "Austin-" he cut me off by shaking his head. I finally obliged and laid next to him. He pulled me against him tightly, ignoring the pain it was causing him.
"I'm scared," I heard him whisper. I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
"I know. Me too," I replied as he hugged me tighter to him. "But, it's going to be okay. I'm coming home with you." He sat me up and looked at me and began to protest. "Stop, Austin, I've made up my mind. You're having surgery tomorrow, and I'm going to be there whether you like it or not. And then I'm going to be there to take care of you because that's what I'm here for."
"Lyla. What about the tour? And Vic?" he asked still fighting with me trying to change my mind.
"Well, first of all I work for you so if you're not going to be there I'm out a job," I chuckled a little and he smiled at me. "But, if you're not going to be there I don't want to be there either. And Vic.........he'll understand." I laid back down on Austin's chest, listening to his faint, erratic heart beat, feeling his chest rise and fall slowly.
Hopefully........hopefully Vic would understand. I wasn't sure how he would react. I didn't want this to get between what we had just started, but I wasn't changing my mind. Austin needed me; he had been there all the times I needed him. Now it was my turn to be there for him.
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Vic's P.O.V:
We had just got off stage. I ran to our bus to change out of my sweaty clothes before heading over to OM&M's bus to find Lyla. I knocked a few times on the door before letting myself in. I looked over and saw Lyla at her bunk messing with her suitcase.
"Hey, babe," I said as I walked towards her. She looked up from what she was doing and smiled at me, biting slightly at her bottom lip.
"Hi." Her voice was quiet. I closed the space between us and pulled her into a tight hug. She buried her face in my chest and I rubbed her back softly. She pulled away from me a little and looked up and kissed my lips passionately, her hands moving up to my face. I pulled her against me and our lips moved in sync for a while before she pulled away again. She gave me one more peck on the lips before turning her attention back to what she was doing.
"What are you doing, Ly?" I asked as I looked at her curiously. She looked up at me after she zipped her suitcase and grabbed my hand pulling me to the couch.
"Austin has to have surgery in the morning. The valve in his heart tore again and they have to replace it." Her voice was full of sadness and I took a deep breath. "They can't finish the tour; his heart has sustained too much damage, and he has to take a lot of time off to recover. So I'm catching a red eye back to LA so I can be there for his surgery tomorrow because the guys can't be; they have to finish packing up and drive with the gear back home." I looked at her as the realization that she was leaving set in.
"But you're coming back, right?" I asked, even though I was afraid to hear the answer. She looked me in the eyes and sqeezed my hand.
"Vic- the band is done for the summer. I need to go back home and find a job. I can't stay here; the only reason I was here was to work-" I cut her off.
"You can work for us, Ly. You can stay on our bus with me; we can figure it out." I was pleading with her to stay; I didn't want her to go.
"Vic.....Austin needs me. I need to be there for him, to help him. He has been there to help me whenever I needed it. It's my turn to be a friend for him." She was trying to reason with me, and I could see where she was coming from, but I couldn't make my mind be okay with it.
"Why can't Alan or one of the other guys take care of him? Why can't he take care of himself? He's a big boy-" I stopped as I realized how angry my voice was, how tense my body had become. She let go of my hand like it was on fire as her face changed to anger.
"You're really going to fight with me about this? I thought you would understand. Why are you being such an ass?" She yelled as she stood from the couch.
"Because you're not his girlfriend, Lyla! You're mine! And you have no obligation to take care of him!" I yelled back at her, immediatly regretting my words as her body tensed.
"You're right, Vic! I'm not his girlfriend! But he's my best friend; he's been there for me when no one else was! Do you have any idea how many times he's saved me, Vic?" Her voice cracked like she was about to cry, but she choked back the tears.
"Are we really going to bring up the fact that I haven't been there again? How many times do I have to apologize for what happened in the past, Lyla? How can we ever move forward if you're stuck in the past!" She looked hurt by my words this time, and she scoffed under her breath as a tear rolled down her rosy cheeks.
"Wow. Yeah, okay Vic whatever you say. I can't believe I actually thought that you would act civil about this. Whatever, I'm leaving anyway so you can go." She spat her words out at me. I hated myself at this point; I didn't want to go. I didn't want her to go. I stood up and walked to her and grabbed her tightly, wrapping my arms around her. She struggled to get out of my hold, but I refused to let her go. After a while of fighting with me I felt her body go limp as she broke down in tears again. It took her a while, but she eventually wrapped her arms around my waist as she cried.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just-I'm scared of losing you when I just got you back," I mumbled into her hair as I kissed the side of her head.
"Vic, just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I love you and I'm not giving up on this. But I need you to understand why I have to go," she muttered as she tried to stop her sobs.
"I do. I understand. It'll be okay, Lyla." I leaned her up and kissed her forehead.
"I'll still be yours when the tour is over. I'm not going anywhere. I mean-I am, but....you know what I mean." she laughed a little and cracked a small smile.
"I love you," I said before kissing her softly. She responded, her lips pressing against mine.
"I know. I love you too," she replied. We sat on the couch and spent the next 2 hours cuddling, watching tv, and making out before she had to be at the airport.
I would miss her, more than I could even phathom, but I was determined to make this work no matter how far away we were from each other.
I didn't actually think this would be easy, did I?
8/1/13