I'm Crying Underwater So You Don't Hear The Sound (re-upload)
Everything's Ok.
I held my right hand tightly over my wrist, I couldn't bare to have anyone, let alone Tony especially to see my arm. I could feel the blood leaking down and trickling through my fingers so I shut the tighter, tight enough to make my whole arm tremble.
As I stepped into the light I gave Tony a shaky smile, "Hey, Tony." His face was covered in multiple expressions, he didn't know what to feel. One minute his face was contorted with anger and shock the next worry, but then I realised he was staring down my wrist. He raised his finger and outstretched the rest to reach for it but I moved my wrist away swiftly.
"Skylar, your wrist?" Mike turned sharply at Tony's words, he stared deep at my wrist and the hand covering it, I could feel the spot burning where they both stared.
"It's fine I—I uhm— just sprained it?" I was terrible with telling lies and these two surely saw right through it. Soon enough Jaime and Vic joined the party with questioning looks on their faces.
"Yooo—oh." He stopped once he noticed my wrist and obviously knew what was wrong, he just didn't know what had just recently happened.
"Sky, your wrist, c'mere." I shuffled over hesitantly to Vic but he was quicker to me than I to him and grabbed me, covering my self inflicted injury with his small body. He hissed at the blood that splattered onto the floor. I groaned and walked over to the sink, bowing my head in anxiety.
"Uh, hmm." He turned around to the guys and looked at them all. Mike kept his feet on solid ground with a stern expression. He was determined to stay here, as was Tony because his posture was the same as Mike's just his hands were balled. "Okay guys you should—"
"—No way. What's wrong with her? I asked her before she said she picked at her skin too hard , she can't have done it again. I was just out back with her and if she did I wanna know why. You hear me Sky?" Vic growled at his brother,
"Dude chill out— leave her alone." I felt his arms wrap over me and his lips kiss the back of my head. He whispered ever so quietly to me; "It's going to be okay." I get that Mike was concerned, I could hear it in his voice so strongly, but what was wrong with Tony? Him not speaking worried me at the slightest. The time we recently spent together, and yesterday too, what if he saw Mike and I in the backyard? That would honestly ruin me because I don't want him to think anything of me.
"Let me get some gauze, you guys need to chill." Vic hurried away from me to a cupboard opposite from us. I stood, still cowering over the sink, my hair cascading the tears surrounding my eyes and clutching my wrist for dear life.
"You might wanna let go of your wrist." And I did. And all that blood spat out into the sink, I heard feet running over and I looked up slowly; it was Tony. The way the blood dropped into the sink was pretty loud and probably sounded like a lot. I could feel my hair being pushed away and Tony's eyes just settling on my face.
I hesitantly looked up to him and his face was just down. He kept diverting his eyes from my face to my wrist and it scared me a lot. What the fuck was wrong with me? I'm such an idiot. I feel like a stupid little bitching attention seeker.
Vic then came through and washed my wrist gently with a lot of soap to prevent any bacterial infections and Tony and Mike just stood and watched. I felt awkward between them, Jaime was in the corner and so quiet, I felt bad for leaving him out. It made me feel bad.
"Where's Jaime?" I furrowed my brows and tried to pull away from Vic while he was wrapping my wrist in fresh gauze but he pulled me back.
"I'm here, no worries." I peeked through the gap between the brothers and gave Jaime a small smile, he gave one back to me and made funny kissy faces to make me laugh and I did. He was so sweet and adorable. Mike looked back at Jaime and started to laugh too. Vic tapped my wrist gently before looking up and giving me smile once I turned back to him.
"There you go. A little better now." He reached over to give me a kiss on the forehead then returned all the medical supplies he used on my wrist. I felt Tony's fingers curl around my hand and Mike's around my wrist once I let it drop to my side.
"Can I talk to you?" Tony finally spoke rather breathlessly though. Mike's hand uncurled and left my wrist as he took a step back. Tony gently pulled me closer and stood us in the corner next to the backyard door.
"Did you and Mike.. Kiss? 'Cos I'm pretty sure I—"
"Tony listen, it's really not like that. I'm a genuine girl I don't just go about with anyone. To be honest, and don't go ranting and raging to Mike,— we were just.. smoking. He offered and I did it, it's nothing big and he just passed the smoke on," I looked down in shame. "and then.. he just did. I did it back, I won't deny it, but... Things were going through my head."
Tony looked away at Mike and then back through the glass door. He sighed quite heavily which made my heart sink. I raised my clean hand to his arm and rubbed it gently. "Stick around and maybe you'll learn what things were going through my head." I said, rather inaudibly. Tony bent his head to kiss my hand on his shoulder and looked back up at me.
"I have a bad feeling it answers that." He pointed at my wrapped up wrist. I felt guilty and scared, but he knew he was right because of the way I looked at him with painful eyes that blatantly screamed out 'it does!'
"I feel reeaaal lonely right now guys." Jaime suddenly blurted out, rocking on his heels. I pulled away from Tony and jogged over to the younger one and gave him a big, warm hug. He responded to this with a happy sigh and an 'ahh'
"She cares about me." The boys started laughing behind us, and Mike just scoffed.
"We all do buddy." He walked by ruffling Jaime's hair with his tattooed hands and quickly tapped my nose too. I pulled away from Jaime to give Mike a narrow eyed stare before turning back to the spikey haired Mexican and and kissing his cheek.
"Don't ever feel lonely. I'll always be here Jaime."
And just now, for a while, everything was okay.
As I stepped into the light I gave Tony a shaky smile, "Hey, Tony." His face was covered in multiple expressions, he didn't know what to feel. One minute his face was contorted with anger and shock the next worry, but then I realised he was staring down my wrist. He raised his finger and outstretched the rest to reach for it but I moved my wrist away swiftly.
"Skylar, your wrist?" Mike turned sharply at Tony's words, he stared deep at my wrist and the hand covering it, I could feel the spot burning where they both stared.
"It's fine I—I uhm— just sprained it?" I was terrible with telling lies and these two surely saw right through it. Soon enough Jaime and Vic joined the party with questioning looks on their faces.
"Yooo—oh." He stopped once he noticed my wrist and obviously knew what was wrong, he just didn't know what had just recently happened.
"Sky, your wrist, c'mere." I shuffled over hesitantly to Vic but he was quicker to me than I to him and grabbed me, covering my self inflicted injury with his small body. He hissed at the blood that splattered onto the floor. I groaned and walked over to the sink, bowing my head in anxiety.
"Uh, hmm." He turned around to the guys and looked at them all. Mike kept his feet on solid ground with a stern expression. He was determined to stay here, as was Tony because his posture was the same as Mike's just his hands were balled. "Okay guys you should—"
"—No way. What's wrong with her? I asked her before she said she picked at her skin too hard , she can't have done it again. I was just out back with her and if she did I wanna know why. You hear me Sky?" Vic growled at his brother,
"Dude chill out— leave her alone." I felt his arms wrap over me and his lips kiss the back of my head. He whispered ever so quietly to me; "It's going to be okay." I get that Mike was concerned, I could hear it in his voice so strongly, but what was wrong with Tony? Him not speaking worried me at the slightest. The time we recently spent together, and yesterday too, what if he saw Mike and I in the backyard? That would honestly ruin me because I don't want him to think anything of me.
"Let me get some gauze, you guys need to chill." Vic hurried away from me to a cupboard opposite from us. I stood, still cowering over the sink, my hair cascading the tears surrounding my eyes and clutching my wrist for dear life.
"You might wanna let go of your wrist." And I did. And all that blood spat out into the sink, I heard feet running over and I looked up slowly; it was Tony. The way the blood dropped into the sink was pretty loud and probably sounded like a lot. I could feel my hair being pushed away and Tony's eyes just settling on my face.
I hesitantly looked up to him and his face was just down. He kept diverting his eyes from my face to my wrist and it scared me a lot. What the fuck was wrong with me? I'm such an idiot. I feel like a stupid little bitching attention seeker.
Vic then came through and washed my wrist gently with a lot of soap to prevent any bacterial infections and Tony and Mike just stood and watched. I felt awkward between them, Jaime was in the corner and so quiet, I felt bad for leaving him out. It made me feel bad.
"Where's Jaime?" I furrowed my brows and tried to pull away from Vic while he was wrapping my wrist in fresh gauze but he pulled me back.
"I'm here, no worries." I peeked through the gap between the brothers and gave Jaime a small smile, he gave one back to me and made funny kissy faces to make me laugh and I did. He was so sweet and adorable. Mike looked back at Jaime and started to laugh too. Vic tapped my wrist gently before looking up and giving me smile once I turned back to him.
"There you go. A little better now." He reached over to give me a kiss on the forehead then returned all the medical supplies he used on my wrist. I felt Tony's fingers curl around my hand and Mike's around my wrist once I let it drop to my side.
"Can I talk to you?" Tony finally spoke rather breathlessly though. Mike's hand uncurled and left my wrist as he took a step back. Tony gently pulled me closer and stood us in the corner next to the backyard door.
"Did you and Mike.. Kiss? 'Cos I'm pretty sure I—"
"Tony listen, it's really not like that. I'm a genuine girl I don't just go about with anyone. To be honest, and don't go ranting and raging to Mike,— we were just.. smoking. He offered and I did it, it's nothing big and he just passed the smoke on," I looked down in shame. "and then.. he just did. I did it back, I won't deny it, but... Things were going through my head."
Tony looked away at Mike and then back through the glass door. He sighed quite heavily which made my heart sink. I raised my clean hand to his arm and rubbed it gently. "Stick around and maybe you'll learn what things were going through my head." I said, rather inaudibly. Tony bent his head to kiss my hand on his shoulder and looked back up at me.
"I have a bad feeling it answers that." He pointed at my wrapped up wrist. I felt guilty and scared, but he knew he was right because of the way I looked at him with painful eyes that blatantly screamed out 'it does!'
"I feel reeaaal lonely right now guys." Jaime suddenly blurted out, rocking on his heels. I pulled away from Tony and jogged over to the younger one and gave him a big, warm hug. He responded to this with a happy sigh and an 'ahh'
"She cares about me." The boys started laughing behind us, and Mike just scoffed.
"We all do buddy." He walked by ruffling Jaime's hair with his tattooed hands and quickly tapped my nose too. I pulled away from Jaime to give Mike a narrow eyed stare before turning back to the spikey haired Mexican and and kissing his cheek.
"Don't ever feel lonely. I'll always be here Jaime."
And just now, for a while, everything was okay.
7/10/13