I opened my door to the two long faces of Jaime and Vic, the bassist and vocalist of the 'legit band' Pierce The Veil. I honestly felt myself jump out of my skin for a split second. Usually I don't open my door ot just anyone without asking but I was just so damn tired from thinking too much last night after I left Tony, bless him.

The two boys started laughing at my reaction as I had screamed and yelled 'oh my God' at them.

"Be careful who open the door to Sky!" Vic shook his index finger at me before stepping in and reaching out to me for a friendly hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck, we were just about the same height! Jaime trailed in sloppily after him and just threw his arms over my shoulders whilst making pterodactyl noises.

"Himes you okay?" I heard Vic ask rather concerned behind me.

"Meh." I laughed at Jaime's bored response and flung my arms around him, he tightened his grip and straightened himself up one I hugged him back, we both laughed at each other. "Neh I feel better now." Yet Jaime didn't leave me alone, literally, he kept his chin glued to my left shoulder as we walked into my living room. I could hear his feet shuffling on the laminates.

"So I've noticed Tony's been teaching you how to play?" Vic slowly slumped down onto the sofa by the large windows, pointing at my acoustic guitar that actually used to be Tony's even though I nagged him about letting me buying my own new one. The boy resisted and insisted I take one of his old 'baby's as he called them.

“Yeah, he offered to when you guys played for me.” The boys flashed each other a look once Jaime sat down beside me, his head resting on my shoulder.

“Were you interested in the guitar and playing it before Tony came around.” Jaime sniggered but Vic teasingly scowled at him. I rolled my eyes and laughed. Already these boys were teasing about Tony and I, why not tease about Jaime and I? Or Mike and I? Perhaps even Vic and I? I didn’t quite understand.

“Yes, I was actually. Very interested in fact. I always thought about trying to learn it when I was like fourteen, that didn’t really work out but.. Now it has I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders and grinned at the two. Vic made cooing noises.

"Oooooh, I seeeee!" He dragged out, Jaime started to poke my side until I reacted.

"Oi!" I screeched and swatted his hand away after the seventeenth poke in under two seconds.

"Re-ow, feisty! Now I get why Tony's so into you." From the corner of my eye I see Vic slump back into the sofa, his fingers dragging down his face rather harshly as he groaned.

"W-What?" Jaime questioned breathlessly, pushing himself to sit up right.

"You're an idiot, that's what." Vic spat before giving a small laugh. I sat there caught up in Jaime's previous words, trying to wrap my head around them. That wouldn't and is not true any ways.

"You're just teasing him, that's all.." My reply didn't fit with what the two were saying, but it made sense in my head.

"Well.. Kind of but—"

"Himes." Vic shot Jaime an alarming look which sent Jaime straight into the sofa.

"We were teasing him, we are, we always tease him about the girls that he has a thing for," Jaime threw his hands in the air and kicked the oxygen around him before stamping his feet on the ground and yelling,

"What?! Come on! I just—!" But Vic didn't let him finish.

"What do you mean 'has a thing for'?" Vic's mouth parted slightly, and his eyes widened by the slightest. Jaime however, sat on the edge of the cough, his mouth wide open.

"What do you mean 'what do you mean'?" Jaime furrowed his brows.

"I mean what do you mean!" I made crazy hand gestures.

"She serious?" Jaime piped up and slid back onto his bum making a face at Vic.

"I don't get it guys."

Vic shook his head and gave a small laugh. "Tony, he's got a thing for you. If it wasn't that obvious."

"Nothings obvious to me right now Vic." I too furrowed my brows.

"Yeah but.. You're.. You know." He made the same gestures Tony did on the night I first met him and the boys.

"No, I don't know." I shook my head and gave a small laugh, "Why would he have a thing for me? Nobody has and nobody would." I shrugged.

"I bet a lot of people had a thing for you Sky!" I shook my head at Jaime's comment.

"No way. I hardly had good friends, they only lasted for four of my years at that school, they ditched me before our last year. No boy even paid any attention to me, they hardly knew I existed, they went straight for my friends. All the boys loved them. Not me though, never me." I looked down and mumbled the last sentence whilst fiddling with my fingers, "I went to my prom alone." My words were slightly inaudiable but Jaime heard perfectly, Vic just about made out some words.

"No way, I don't believe that. There had to be some guy, at least one, that asked you out." I shook my head to this. "Even to prom?" I shook my head again at their questions. I noticed I started picking at my left wrist again, and over my two week old scars so blood started to seep through slowly. I immediately stopped this and snapped my wrist over so the two boys wouldn't see.

"Fucking kidding me right? See now if I was in your school I damn well would've asked you to prom." Jaime crossed his arms in front of his chest and stated rather irritated.

"I'm not kidding you guys. And I really doubt that Jaime, you would've gone with one of the other girls, they were all better than me." I heard Vic scoff and get up from the couch.

"I mean there was this one guy, but it wasn't like.. serious or anything. We were messing about and I thought he meant everything he said and did. Not that we.. you know. He didn't give me attention, nor was he my friend so I guess it was kind of like strangers but not strangers with benefits excluding the sex."

"How does that even work out? You guys just, you know make out really heavily and that's it?" I nodded slowly at Jaime's confused response.

"Yeah basically. But he showed no emotion to it, I was stupid for letting it happen." I picked at the skin on my left wrist where some old fresh cuts lay. Vic had obviously taken notice of this and became irritated once I stopped after realising that he had noticed.

He got up from his seat and passed in front of me and Jaime but reached his hand out to me.

"C'mere, I wanna talk to you." I hesitantly gave him my right hand, he pulled me up from the couch and led me out of the living room to the kitchen, I sounded to Jaime, "You wait there Jaime!"

Vic literally dragged me by my hand out into the garden where he slammed the glass door shut and gave me a hard stare down. I felt quite uncomfortable with him looking at me like this but he relaxed his composure and his expression before reaching over to hug me tightly. I felt his hand creating circles on the small of my back gently, and over his shoulder I saw Jaime waiting innocently in the doorway of the kitchen.

Vic pulled away from me but kept his arms around me, looking into my eyes gently. I felt heat rushing through my body but not because of the way his handsome man with a beautiful voice held me but because I was afraid he saw my wrist. He parted his lips before taking in a deep breath and letting it out, "I saw your wrist Sky.." He said really quietly.

That's where the panic started to kick in. I felt Vic's fingers move around again and I found some comfort in that which was nice, "It's okay though.. Well it's not but, it is..." He pulled me close to him so that our foreheads were resting onto each others, but again Vic pulled away to kiss my head and look back down at me. He was a few inches taller than me which was upsetting because he was smallest in his band.

"It's not—"

"It is." His voice were so soft and his words just melted onto my skin making the hair on my neck stand up tall. "I know that it is because.." He sighed, "Because I've done it too, but I stopped for my baby bro, you know. I don't know why you do it, but I do know that you should stop now, I'm probably the only one who noticed," The irony in his words, "but even if I'm not— just stop, so the others don't, and I'm not gonna blab about it to the guys. You should talk to me some time Jade—" I snapped my neck up, my eyes squinted.

"No, I mean Skylar. Sorry.." I tilted my head ot the side and remembered.

"Tony's ex girlfriend?" Vic shook his head slowly.

"He told you?"

"Yeah," I said chewing my bottom lip slowly, "He said I reminded him of her."

"Well that's kind of ironic."

"Why?"

"She was everything you are, a few things were different but, yeah.." The way Vic dabbed his lips with his tongue made my heart shiver.

"But anyways.. You should talk to me Sky, you really should. If you're feeling like shit, come talk to me, I'll always be here to listen. I'm no therapist but I'll listen and I will care."

---

That's a first. For Vic to notice that so quickly, nobody has ever noticed my self harm or my state of mind. But it was nice that Vic cared. He had honestly made my day complete. He wrapped up my wrist in a thin layer of gauze after shooing Jaime away for a minute or so, who left with a rather sad expression on his face which made me quite sad, bless him.

Vic had made sure I wasn't out of his sight for the rest of day, and he allowed me to think about talking to him and what not. I don't think at this rate I'll ever be giving him an answer because I'll forever be assessing the cons and pros of the whole idea.

So yes, I spent another day with the guys, all of them. Mike and Tony asked about my wrist, but Vic stayed quiet about it. Jaime was obviously eager to ask but just didn't.

"What happened to your wrist?" Mike placed his fingers gently on the gauze and swiped them off slowly, looking me dead in the eye.

"I picked at my skin too hard." I looked straight ahead at Vic and smiled at him, he smiled back.

"Oh." He released in defeat, and rested gently against the wall, still looking at me however. I scanned Mike's profile gently and discreetly. I loved the way his lip ring rested gently in the middle of his lip, the way his medusa piercing glimmered each time he turned to the direction of the light and how full his bottom lip was. How his stubble was poking out of his skin gently. The shape of his eyebrows were, and it may sound silly, but they were nice, especially for a guy.

I liked Mike's sense of style, and I was never to have a type in males but that's the type of style I like on them the most for sure. Tony's style was also great. I loved his spider bites, and each time he smiled they would twist just slightly. But just his smile alone was good enough to catch my heart on fire and his eyes, his big, round brown eyes.

I felt Mike’s hand coil around my wrist and he looked down at it, his brows deeply furrowed. He kept running his thumb over the gauze gently as I bit my lip. I watched him carefully doing this, feeling nausea creeping up in my veins and rattling my bones causing my arms to tremble and that’s when Mike looked back up at me sharply to hold both of my arms and stand straight in front of me. Jaime shot up from his seat and came closer, as did Tony and Vic. I could my skin burning and my body weakening. I just felt instantly sick, sick because I was scared that perhaps Mike had realised something was wrong and scared that Vic had perhaps told his brother.

“Sky— Skylar!” My hands flew up to Mike’s biceps and I gripped them tightly. I took in the deepest breath I could and released it before shaking my head and pulling myself up, right in between Mike’s arms.

“You okay? What the hell happened?” I shook my head and gave the smallest smile,

“It’s nothing it’s nothing, I just.. Women things, you don’t actually want me to go into detail do you?” Mike yanked his hands back and I laughed at the others’ reactions, “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Mike narrowed his eyes and laughed at me.

“Don’t—” He pointed his finger at me and I laughed at him, he laughed back at me before coming back to me and wrapping his arm across me to kiss the side of my head, which silenced me. I gave an awkward cough and then looked up to see Tony turning away into the lounge and Jaime and Vic giving each other their funny looks.

"Stop it you two." I scowled at the boys and they scurried into the lounge like mice. I could feel the way Mike kept his hand on me and I had just realised his hand was placed on my waist. It felt strange, I mean— not because I had feelings for anyone but becuase I wasn't used to this and I knew there was something wrong with Tony and that he was bothered by this whole thing but not because of the conversation Jaime, Vic and I had previously today.

Besides, I didn't believe the boys; Tony and I had only known each other for almost a week now. That was all, why would he have a 'thing' for me. Maybe they were just joking, I'm pretty sure they were any way. My track of thought was cut off by the way Mike had turned his body into me and pulled his hand up from my waist to the sie of my neck, his fingers entering my bush like hair.

His smile held my heart and the way he leaned into me stole my breath. I wasn't aware of what he was trying to do but he kept our faces a few inches away from each other. "You scared me there for a second, you know that?"

I looked down feeling a bit guilty because I knew I had frightened pretty much all of them. Mike pressed his lips on the top of my head then as soon as I lifted it his lips pressed against my cheek. We were in an awkward position. "We should go outside, c'mon." Mike's hand dropped to mine and gave it a little squeeze before backing away slowly to ward the kitchen, looking back for me to check if I was coming, and I did follow him.

We made our way into the garden and under the night sky, it was beautiful and you could hear the waves of the ocean crashing on the shore. The moon peaked through some grey clouds as we stood right in the centre of the garden where Mike pulled out a blunt and lighter. I wasn't really surprised to be honest, I had smelt the weed in his room so many times when I was with Tony, but he told me not to worry. So I didn't.

As he sucked in the blunt I just watched him carefully, the way he released the thick smoke and the way he held the blunt between his index and middle finger. He gave me a quick look and smiled, "You wanna try?" Mike held the blunt by the tip and held it out for me. It was nothing bad and I had tried it before so I took the offer and pressed the blunt in the middle of my lips before taking it all in and letting it out in thick white circles.

I heard Mike 'ahh' beside me and I ended up choking on the smoke because I was laughing, I fanned the rest of it away and handed his blunt back, "Damn girl, you got skill." I pressed my index finger to my lips.

"Sssh."

"Don't worry," he took another puff, "It's our little secret." He stepped closer to me and craned his neck because well he was basically a tree compared to me. After taking another puff he released the smoke in my face and I pushed him away which made him laugh.

"Don't do that!" I laughed with him and he came back in front of me.

"C'mere," he picked my chin up with his left hand "open your mouth." The blunt in the middle of his mouth as he spoke wiggled a bit before he took some in. I opened my mouth slightly but Mike opened it wider with his own as he pushed his open mouth onto mine and emptied his smoke into my mouth. I blew out the second hand smoke onto his face before he threw the blunt to the floor and grabbed my face to kiss me, rather harshly too.

I squirmed a little before his hands eased their grip on my face and rested on my neck gently, his other hand dropped to my waist and sat there squeezing my side. His lips became more gentle on mine and I could feel his tongue just wanting to be freed but the boy knew his limits. So he should.

He pulled away ever so slowly, my hands coiled onto my chest so close to holding him but I lost the opportunity to just like that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—" I pressed my index finger against his lips quickly before he could finish speaking and then replaced my finger with my lips to show him that he shouldn't be sorry.

"Nuh—uh." I whispered after pulling away and biting my lip. I felt his hand slip uner my shirt and my body tensed just a little because of how cold his hand was, it was a cooling sensation but the heat was bought back into my body as he placed his lips back onto mine.

Then it had just dawned on me, I pulled away sharply with my hands covering my mouth and my eyes red. I've only known this boy for a week now, I don't want it ending the way it did back in London. The whole not-so-strangers-with-benefits-thing.

"You okay?" He said, with a worried look in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah.. I'm okay. I just.. We've only known each other for a week and not even that well but.."

"I told you I was sorry but you carried on, I—"

"No, no it's not your fault, it's mine— it's my fault." He walked over to me slowly and held my index finger by the tip and looked me in the eye,

" 's alright. We took turns at this, no ones to blame here, even though I started it first."

"No, seriously don't try and blame yourself. It's okay I just.. Things, my past, that's all." I awkwardly itched my head and looked at the ground. My finger slipped away from him as I began to pick at my left wrist but it didn't help it just increased my frustration as the I still had the gauze on.

"What about it? You wanna talk?" I shook my head.

"No, it's okay."

"Sky—"

"Mike please. Don't. You can ask your brother, he knows, it's just that I can't be asked to talk about anything right now or ever again."

"Hey, that's fine. I just wanna make sure you're okay.." He inched forward and kissed my forehead gently, my picking got worse and eventually I picked off the gauze which fell to the ground and exposed my again bleeding scars.

"Fuck." I hissed under my breath, luckily it was dark enough and Mike didn't see anything, but he herd me curse.

"Sky?"

"It's nothing whiskey hands." I walked away and waiting for him to follow me as I gestured with my head. He grinned stupidly before running over and grabbing me by my waist to kiss me again.

"Call me that again and it'll be more than a kiss." He tapped my butt gently which I raised my eyebrows to as he walked in. My head soon enough snapped to the side as Mike spoke to someone,

"Tone, hey."

Notes

I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, really sorry there's just been so much to deal with atm.

Skylars outfit = http://www.polyvore.com/when_im_sober_still_feel/set?id=86209175