Crash (on hold)

I was surrounded by darkness. My limps were shaking a bit, but I had done this so many times, I knew how to control them by now. The four seconds it takes before the music starts, seemed way longer than it actually was. Like always. It was like the technicians tried to tease the nervous dancers on stage.
The music finally started and the sweet sounding chords of a ballad sounded through the room. The lights turned on and shone a soft glow on the group of people on stage, me being one of them.
I took one deep breath and let the emotion of the music rush through my veins. The song had a strong message and I wanted my movements to reflect that message.
On exactly the same tone, my group and I started to move on the music. Perfectly synchronized, like we were one person instead of twenty.
See, the thing that makes dancing the best thing in the world is the feeling that you are flying. It’s that exact feeling that makes you feel alive and one with the music.
I jumped and turned over the stage, not even thinking about what I was doing anymore. I had done this routine so many times, that I didn’t need to anymore. I was just focusing on giving everything I had, on telling a story to the crowd. The crowd that watched our every move. Hopefully they were touched by it. It was one of the most amazing things to actually touch someone with your performance.
I felt every muscle in my body contract as I jumped over the stage. It took a lot of power, but it made me look like I was light as a feather. I felt my heart beat as I came down again and rolled over the floor.
The high voice of the singer slowly guided the song to an end and with that our routine ended too. I felt a rush go through me, making me give the last bits of energy I had before it all ended. The violins faded out and I slowly faded into my end pose.
I controlled every muscle in my body to stand completely still as the crowd erupted into cheers and clapping. I took the feeling of being appreciated in, because I knew this amazing feeling would be gone as soon as I’d got off the stage.
The lights faded out and reality washed over me again. Like I had lived inside a dream world and now I had been transported back to reality.
I walked through the curtains beside the stage and remained quiet until we were out of a hearing distance from the crowd. The entire group of girls erupted into giggles and talking while we were walking towards our dressing room.
“That was awesome!” a girl with long, dark hair and twinkling eyes said. You could almost see the adrenaline in her eyes. The adrenaline that was still rushing through me as well. It was like a drug, dancing.
I chuckled at my best friend, my happiness heightened because of the adrenaline too. “You did extremely well, Lilly!” I said to her.
I had been able to watch her from my spot in the formation and I meant what I said, she had done amazing. To say that I was proud was an understatement. Lilly had worked so hard to get where she is now, she deserved all of this. This was her first performance with a big dance company. She was only eighteen years old and I had been her teacher for a while. Besides performing with this group, I also gave dance classes on an amateur dance school and she had been a part of that school. She had always been my favorite student. She was just so talented and hard working. I always admired that in people.
Only week ago she had gotten the news that she could join our group. You should’ve seen her face when she told me the news in class. This group was quite a big thing in California, we often got asked for TV shows and other events. So it was quite a big deal that Lilly got excepted at the young age of eighteen.
“There were so many people! Did you see how many people there were?” she asked and her face showed pure shock. We walked through a corridor and eventually ended up in our changing room. Leftover costumes were thrown over the chairs and Make up was scattered over the tables. Everyone kind of used each other’s products so it was going to be a challenge to find my own lipstick, foundation, eye shadow and mascara.
“Yeah, there were quite a lot of people today.” I said dryly as I walked over to my bag. I had done these kind of performances so many times that I wasn’t really that blown away by big crowds before. Although they still gave me the same feeling as all these years ago when I stood on a stage for the first time. Dancing was my life and it always had been. I couldn’t see myself do anything else.
“Hey Audrey, I used your brush.” Rowan said and she handed me my plastic black brush. She had been into this company for a long time already, but she was one of those people I didn’t really talked to much. We just never had a chance to.
I took the brush from her and put it in my bag. “It’s okay. Thanks for giving it back.” I said as I took off my costume.
All the other girls in the room did the same thing except for Lilly. She sat down at the table and stared across from her with her mouth still open. She was still completely blown away.
This girl reminded me of myself so much, that’s probably why I always had a good bond with her, even when she just was a student of mine.
I reached over my bag to grab hers and pushed it in her hands. “Get changed. You need to get up for practice very early tomorrow.” I said smiling. The girl seemed to finally get out of her trance, slowly but surely.
She shot me a wide smile and got off the table. As I was stripped to only my underwear, I took my sweat pants out of my bag together with a funny t-shirt I had gotten for my birthday from one of the girls and put them on.
The next thing I did was take a pair of socks and shoes. We had danced this routine on bare feet and they always get sticky and sweaty after that. It might sounds a little weird, but it felt amazing putting on dry, clean socks after a performance.
I put my hair up in a bun and started to head for the door. I was stopped by Lisa, the queen bee of the group. Not only was she the best dancer of the entire group, she also made all the decisions and made up most of the routines. I had a lot of respect for what she did, but I personally thought she was a bitch.
“Audrey, it’s your turn to get the costumes for that dinner show and bring them to the dance studio. I don’t have time for it.” She said and her platina blond hair flipped to the side as she looked at her watch.
“Can’t it wait? We have practice at seven am tomorrow and I have been a little bit under the weather lately. So, I just want to go to bed” I said. I really had been a little nauseous today and I didn’t want to risk it and get sick. Getting sick was a dangerous thing in my profession. Being sick longer than a week could lose me my spot in the group. Therefor I always made sure that I ate well and slept at least eight hours a day.
Lisa shook her head with an emotionless expression on her face. “No, otherwise it will be too late. Audrey, you just need to take this one for the group. Don’t whine and just drink an extra cup of coffee tomorrow.” She said and she walked off. She was an amazing leader, but she was ruthless. It made us all better though, her screaming and insulting during practices motivated us. Besides, I was used to people treating me like trash. It was just another thing I had to get used to when I realized I wanted to make it big in this world.
I let out a sigh and walked out of the door. I was quickly followed by another pair of feet. When I looked beside me, I saw that it was Lilly. “What did Lisa want from you?” she asked and she sounded a little worried. She was well aware that Lisa didn’t just speak to people to talk about the weather. She had been made aware of that the last week. Lisa had practically made Lilly’s first week in the group a living hell. Lilly was used to the softer approach I had, but she wasn’t into an amateur group anymore. Everything needed to be perfect. Every curve of every movement needed to be in precisely the right angle and every jump needed to be at exactly the right time. It was a matter of doing it again and again, every day.
“She wanted me to pick up the costumes for the dinner show this Saturday. Right now.” I said and I rolled my eyes. The fact that we needed to respect Lisa to her face didn’t mean we couldn’t complain about her behind her back.
Lilly hoisted her bag a little further on her shoulder as we left the venue and walked onto the dark and cold streets of San Diego. “I’ll come with you.” She said in an upbeat voice.
I tell you, Lilly was too good for this world sometimes. She was a wonderful dancer and a nice girl, but she needed to grow a little tougher if she wanted to survive in this world. “Lilly, go home and get some sleep. You need to get up early tomorrow and Lisa will strangle you if you dance less good because you haven’t had enough sleep.” I said, while I was contemplating on taking my car or walking those few miles. The costume shop where we always bought our performing clothes was only a few blocks away from here and parking there would be a disaster. Yeah, walking seemed like a better idea.
“No, I’m coming with you and nothing can stop me. If we’re sick tomorrow than we will at least feel and dance like crap together.” She said and she pounded her feet like an angry toddler.
I laughed her and shook my head. Well, if this would turn out horrible, she would’ve at least learned her lesson. “Well, okay then.” I said as I started to cross the street.
The moon shone down on the small puddles on the road. It had probably been raining when we were inside.
“Yay, now you won’t be alone.” She said and as we had crossed the street she made a small pirouette. I guess she was one of those kids who just couldn’t sit still. I was exactly like that too.
We walked past closed stores and open bars, from which upbeat music was heard. People ready to go out passed us on the street. Those were the only people still awake at this hour.
It was only a few streets to the costume store, but Lilly kept on talking about the performance we had just done. I was kind of tuning out while she was talking, in my mind I was already in my warm bed.
When we ended up at the end of the street, it started to rain, soaking my sweat pants and shirt.
I made grumpy face, but Lilly just kept smiling. “How can you hate rain? We could be dancing in the rain!” she said enthusiastically.
I chuckled but hugged my arms to keep them warm. “I get cold way too quickly to enjoy the rain.” I said, but apparently nothing could kill Lilly’s good mood. I didn’t blame her, she had just had her first big performance. I could still remember my first big stage I walked on. I was so nervous, I almost couldn’t stand on my legs anymore. In the end, it was worth it. I will never forget the overwhelming feeling it gave me.
“Well, you have to keep dancing then!” Lilly said and she jumps up and down, little droplets flying around because of it. “You can explain that one routine to me. I still don’t get it.”
I grinned at her. This kind of felt like old times in which I had to explain things to her. And how could I turn down a chance to dance? It didn’t matter that we were in the middle of the street. I would dance anywhere, any time.
“Wonderless? Yeah, that one is kind of complicated.” I said and my feet started to make the light and fast movements of the routine, the song playing in my head. Lilly followed me, stopping at times when she didn’t understand a move.
She was right, though. I almost couldn’t feel the rain anymore, it had become sort of relaxing and soothing as I flew over the streets covered in puddles and mud.
I looked to my right and saw that we had to cross the street again. The store was right across the street. Luckily for me the road was empty, because it was heading to midnight by now.
I stood on my tiptoes and turned lightly over the road, crossing it while turning perfectly balanced pirouettes. I had almost reached over the street when I stopped my turning.
The next two seconds seem to go ten times in fast. In the first second I was happy and alive and the road was clear. In the next second I heard Lilly let out a scream and a car rushed around the corner.
I had seen the car and maybe I had been able to jump away. But I was frozen in my place when the piercing white lights headed closer to me.
And then there was nothing. No sound, no light, no pain. I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t see anything, it was like I didn’t exist anymore.
I wasn’t aware of my body lying on the hard, muddy ground. I wasn’t aware of the sobs Lilly let out as she hoovered over my body. I wasn’t aware that the attention of the people passing by was focused on me, but this time not in a good way.
The only thing my brain still managed to do was playing the song ‘Wonderless’ over and over again in my head, like it had done before my body had collided with a car.

Notes

Well, Hello there!
I have just come up with this story a few days ago and I figured I just put it up. XD It seems like it's quite okay already. What do you guys think?

I promise it will get more interesting through the story...At least I think, because I haven't written it yet. Yay for procrastination!!

xxxxx

Nicky