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Crash (on hold)

Is this Real Life?

I screamed as I jumped up in bed, the shock of the crash still going through me. I was still breathing heavily as I felt that I was lying in my own bed. My pillow was wet of sweat and so was my hair. Thank god, it was just a dream. It had felt so real.
I tried to steady my breath and put my hand on my forehead. My skin felt greasy and wet under my touch. I was slowly coming back to reality as I took in my room. My walls were dark pink and a friend of my dance group had painted a ballerina on my biggest wall. But not in a childish way, the ballerina was painted incredibly realistic.
Clothes and other stuff were scattered over the floor and desk because I never had time to clean. All these familiarities made me realize that everything was normal again.
As soon as my lungs had gotten back to a steady breathing pattern, I turned around and looked at my alarm that was standing on my silver night stand. I raised my eyebrow as I saw that the time was changing incredibly fast. Within a few seconds the time had changed from 6pm to 6am.
I slammed my hand on top of the alarm, figuring it must’ve been broken. But the alarm didn’t went back to a normal pace, so I hit it again. And again. And again. But it kept going crazy. I stepped out of my bed and walked over to the plug to pull it out. I figured that if I pulled it out and then put it back in, it would be fixed.
I squatted down at the point where the plug connected with the wall and pulled it out. The disturbing thing was, that the alarm was still going crazy.
I let out a squeal and backed away from the thing, like it could explode any minute. I backed up until my back hit the windowsill. I screamed again, being overly sensitive from the last shock I had.
I turned around and looked out of the window. The sky was doing the exact same thing as my alarm was doing. It went from a morning sky, to an afternoon sun and then a dark night sky incredibly fast. It looked like the days were flying by. My head started spinning. This wasn’t supposed to happen in real life, right?
My breathing started to speed up again. This couldn’t be real. I must’ve been dreaming. Was this a dream inside a dream? Did I have one of those weird lucid dreams? Was this what that felt like?
But how would I wake up again? What did I have to do?
The flickering lights of the outside sky changing went even faster and I started to see green spots in my vision from all the flashes. The alarm went two times as fast too and was shortly followed up by a high beeping tone. I could see the flickering of outside on my once so familiar walls and the beeping started speeding up too. At first it had sounded like a some sort of monitor, but the faster the lights started flickering, the more it started to sound like one long beep.
I couldn’t look and listen anywhere without being blinded and deafened. I slit down the wall with my hands pressed against my ears. I used all the force in my body to shut my eyes as tight as I could, but the light still shone through my eyelids. I screamed out, not knowing what else to do, but it couldn’t be heard over the loud beeping sound.
“Audrey, are you okay?” I heard a female say. The noise and the flickering lights had stopped as soon as she had spoken up.
I slowly lowered my hands from my ears and carefully opened my eyes, still a bit afraid it would come back. I looked up and saw Lilly kneeling down in front of me, looking at me with worry in her eyes. I was still sitting in the same position, but I wasn’t in my room anymore. I was in the dance studio. The familiar room had white walls, except for the one that was covered in a big mirror and the one that basically consisted of glass. The floor was made of a sand-colored wood.
I felt myself calm down again as I realized I was in the room that basically was my second home. What am I saying? This was my first home and my apartment had become my second home over the years. This was where I felt the happiest.
“Audrey?” Lilly asked again and I realized that I hadn’t talked yet. I slowly shook my head. “I don’t know. I think I zoned out.” I said. I must’ve been going mad. I didn’t even remember going to the dance studio, but the only explanation of all this is that I came here and had a daydream.
“Audrey can you hear me?” Lilly asked again and she inspected my face. The other girls of my dance company stood behind her, all of them in their training clothes.
I furrowed my eyebrow. “Of course I can hear you. You only a few inches away from me.” I said.
Lilly didn’t react at this. She turned around to the rest of the girls. “Do you think she can hear me?” she said.
Now I got a bit mad. Was this some sort of messed up joke?! If it was, then I certainly wasn’t enjoying it!
I quickly stood up and Lilly also stood up as I did, but still looked at the girls. “Stop it! This is not funny!” I screamed at them. My mind was still a bit distorted because of the daydream I just had.
“I don’t know. They say she can here you.” Rowan said and she shot Lilly a comforting smile. There was still a bit of fear in her eyes.
I waved my hands around to get their attention and they looked at me, but there was no other reaction than pure pity. “Hello! I’m here!” I screamed and my throat hurt. I wasn’t even screaming that hard, but it kind of felt like something was forced into it.
Lilly looked back when I spoke, but it didn’t seem like she could see me. A silent tear rolled over her cheek. I was still confused, but I also wanted to make her feel better. Lilly was too precious to cry. “I just wish you’d wake up, Audrey. Please keep fighting.” She said and her voice cracked a few times while talking.
“They say it’s not likely she will ever wake up.” Emily said and the red-haired girl looked down at her freckled hands.
This was all so weird. I couldn’t really understand what was happening or how I was supposed to be acting, so I just stood there with my mouth a bit open.
“Well, it is very clear that she won’t be able to dance.” Lisa said and she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. She was the only one that didn’t look worried. At all. She just looked straight up annoyed. “We have to find a replacement for her.”
That made Lilly mad. She balled her hands into fists and shot Lisa an angry glare. “No! we can’t replace Audrey!” she said angrily.
You go girl! Don’t make them replace me! I can’t live without this group!
Lisa shot Lilly a bitchy look and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m the one that makes the calls and I say we’ll dance without her. Life goes on.” She said and she had raised her voice talking to Lilly.
I watched helplessly how they all moved to the middle of the room and went to stand in formation. I wanted to walk to them, make them aware that I was here. I wanted to dance along with them. It felt unnatural standing here while they did their thing. But they didn’t seemed aware of me anymore. In fact, they seemed a bit blurrier than before, like I had taken out my contacts.
I tried to walk towards them and dance along. The thing was. I couldn’t. Not because they couldn’t see me, but because I couldn’t move. I wasn’t able to move anything but my head. I desperately tried to make my limps move or even my small toe twitch, but it didn’t do anything.
The weird distorted music started playing and I heard that it was ‘Mad World’ by Tears for Fears. It was the first routine I had done with this group and it still remained my favorite, which made it even more painful that they danced this routine without me.
It didn’t make sense that they were doing this one though. We hadn’t done it for years, there were no performances coming up with this song.
The girls started to do their routine, my favorite routine. They were flying through the room while I tried everything in my power to get out.
Was this a dream again? How many times did I needed to wake up before I would come back to reality? The surreal sound of the music made my panic even worse.
I let out a scream again, going crazy of fear. Just after I had let out my scream, I lost all feeling in my body from my neck down. It felt like I was just a head floating in the air, but when I looked down, my body was still there in the same position.
I started letting out one scream after the other, not knowing what else to do. There was nothing I could do. I didn’t have a body anymore!
I was just wondering why my body was still standing in its place while my brain wasn’t keeping it in place anymore, when my legs gave in and I fell. I closed my eyes and screamed again, mentally preparing myself for the impact.
But it never came. I just kept falling and falling, the music of ‘Mad World’ still going on in my head. I was unable to open my eyes, so I couldn’t see what I was falling in. It was just all black.
I still felt like I was falling when the song slowly faded to an end. Just before it ended, I heard a warm, comforting voice echo through the darkness. “Audrey?” a voice said.
And then I opened my eyes.

*

If this was a dream again, then I didn’t know why I was dreaming this. It was blurrier than the other dreams, but I still had the same surreal feeling. It was like the fear and panic was still going through me.
The blurry combinations of blue, white and grey spots slowly got an abstract form. I still had no idea where I was, though. My eyelids were too heavy to keep them open and every time I opened them again, I had to focus all over again.
“Audrey, oh my god. You’re awake.” A familiar voice said. It took a while for me to process the voice. It was like my brain was working on low power. Like it had fought for too long and was now recovering from the impact.
But even though I had to work harder for it than normal, I did recognize the voice. I was my mother’s. I wanted to talk back to her, but all I could do was make a crackling sound.
I felt a warm soft hand shakily pushing the hair out of my face. I wish she’d take away the hand, my head already felt too heavily. Like my scull was filled with stones.
In fact, my whole face felt weird. It felt sore and bruised underneath my left eye and I felt something being stuck inside my nose. A wire traced over my neck and on the soft pillow my head was resting on.
I blinked my eyes one more time and then everything came into focus. I was lying in a hospital room. I recognized it by the bed I was lying in and the white interior of the place.
I heard the beeping of the monitor and suddenly realized it was the noise I had been hearing in the dream about my room. Which meant I wasn’t dreaming right now.
I slowly turned my neck, even a movement like that seemed to take up too much effort. My mom was sitting next to my bed and I was shocked as I saw her. She always the kind of person to look perfectly styled. She never went outside without her hair looking perfect and her make-up were the most precious things she owned.
There were only two things in the world she loved more, me and my brother. That I was in the hospital, could be the only reason why she looked like this. Her hair was all over the place and her face was make-upless and greasy. She wore a loose fitting shirt and a pair of jeans she hadn’t worn for years.
When she saw me a weak smile appeared on her face. “Honey, I can’t believe it. I thought I’d lose you, I was so afraid.” She said. I couldn’t quite focus on what she said though. My sore throat was distracting me.
“Can I have something to drink?” I asked, but my voice didn’t sound like mine anymore. It was hoarse and squeaky.
My mom slowly nodded, silent tears rolling over her cheeks. She leaned over to a white night stand next to my bed and took a glass of water off it. She put the straw inside my mouth and I could feel the cold, comforting liquid slide through my throat.
“W-what happened?” I asked when I was done drinking, my voice sounded a bit stronger.
My mom lovingly traced over my face again and then sat back down in her chair. “That’s for another time. You need rest.” She said and I recognized the tone in her voice from when I was six years old.
“No mom. I need to know. I can’t sleep if you won’t tell me.” I said and I tried to put force after my words, but I still sounded weak and pathetic. Everything was too confusing for my head to be quiet. Why was I in the hospital. Was I going to die?
My mom swallowed. “Okay then.” She said and she seemed to prepare herself for what she was about to say. Was it that bad? “You’ve had an accident. You were going to a store with Lilly and got hit by a car on your way. They said the guy had been drinking.”
Wait. That wasn’t a dream? That actually happened? I thought it wasn’t because I woke up right after. But I didn’t wake up because I was still in a dream. I didn’t get it anymore.
I decided to ask about something else that sparked my interest. “Lilly. How is she? Is she okay?” I asked.
My mom let out a short chuckle. “You don’t have to worry about anything but yourself now, honey. Lilly is okay. She and the girls have visited you last week.” She said.
My eyes got big. “Last week? How long have I been here?” I asked a bit panicky.
My mom made comforting hand gestures. “Relaxed darling. You can’t stress now. You have been here for two weeks.” She said.
My mind started racing. Two weeks?! Two freaking weeks?! No, this was not right! I had to get back to work. My students were depended on me and I had missed so many shows! “Mom, I can’t stay here! I need to get away!” I said and I was tripping over my own words.
My mom’s face faded to a strict expression. “Audrey Leanna Rose, you just woke up from a two week long coma. I won’t let you leave this place. You need rest. You can get back to work once you’re all better.” She said.
I groaned and turned my head to face the ceiling again. I hated that she was right. I just wanted to get out of here and get back to my own live. I didn’t mind the pain, I had danced through loads of it in the past. But I also knew from the times I had had injuries that some of them needed rest, otherwise it would made them worse. I was very careful with my body, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t hate to do nothing as everyone else went on.
My mom saw the grumpy expression on my face. “It will be okay, Audrey. Soon enough, you’ll get better. And you’ll dance better than ever before.” She said and her voice was soothing. My mom was so sweet and I already hated myself for acting the way I had since I had woken up. From a coma. Damn, I just couldn’t believe something like that had happened to me. And all because some guy couldn’t put down the whiskey. This was exactly why I never drank. Well, at least he had to live with himself now. What goes around comes back around they say.
I turned my head towards my mother again to shoot her a smile, but what I saw had me confused. She had her hand intertwined with my right hand, which wasn’t the weird thing about all of this. The horrible thing was that I didn’t feel it. I saw her hand touch mine, skin to skin, but I didn’t feel it. In fact, I didn’t feel my hand at all.
That was the moment I realized I was paralyzed. I tried to move the rest of my body, my toes, my other hand, my stomach, my shoulders, but there was nothing. I was nothing but a head.
My breathing sped up. This was like my dream, but this was real. I heard the monitor next to me speed up, indicating my heart was beating a lot faster. “No no no no no.” I stumbled in panic, hoping this was temporary or that I just tried hard enough. But none of my muscles seemed to move from my neck down.
My mom tensed up in her chair. “Audrey, what’s going on?” she said and a slight tone of panic was mixed into her normally calm voice.
But I didn’t hear her, I was too focused on my body that had become useless. It was just lying there like I was a corpse. C’mon move! “No no no no.” I muttered again and shook my head heavily. The monitor speed up even more, eventually going over into a different tone. A tone that was warning that my heart was beating too fast.
“Audrey?!” My cried out as she stood up and looked over my body for something wrong.
“I can’t feel anything!” I eventually screamed, bringing the soreness back to my throat.
My mom froze right in her place and every spot of color seemed to have drained from her face. Her eyes went big as she looked over my expression. I guess she was hoping that I was lying.
“Please help me, mommy.” I cried and I felt tears leave my eyes. I would’ve been sobbing if I could have.
My mom seemed to awake from her shock and turned towards the door. “I’m going to get a nurse!” she said while she left through the door, leaving me alone with just my thoughts and my lifeless body.

Notes

Heyyyyyy guys!

So I have finally finished the next chapter. sorry it took a while. I promise Tony will be introduced in the next chapter! It might even be in his point of view ;)

Oh and btw guys, I don't know if you guys know, but I also have written other stories on this website! Maybe someone would like to check them out :) This is not advertisent, I just wanted to let you know...Okay maybe it was a little bit like advertisment XD
The Pact
The Diary (sequel of The Pact)
24 Hours
Left For Dead
Broken connection

oh and btw, this one is kind of for advertisement. A friend of mine has started a new story and I think you guys should definitely read it: A Shortened Tale

well okay that was that. I hope you guys all have a nice day.

xxxxx

Nicky

Comments

Drama (Llama)!

@aweirdkindofyellow
Sorry didn't tag you in the last one
+ i wanted to help you get more famous ;)

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and seeeee
i'm just a poor boy, i need no sympathy.
because easy come easy go
little high little low
any where the wind blows doesn't really matter to me to me
mama, I just killed man, put gun against his head pulled the trigger now he is dead
(i can go on the entire 6 minute song XD)

thank you

Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality! (not going to continue or you'll have the whole song lyrics in your comments xD)
It's the dream! It's a good dream, I'm happy you left it in.
And look at that. My story in your comments! WOOOO!

@Pansie123
Ohh! I know a great italian movie. It's called 'la vita e bella' it's really weird, but also really beautiful. It has won oscars and shit.