Where Do We Go From Here?

I couldn't be happier that she was here, I didn't expect to see her until our stop in her state. When I saw her that first night of tour, I could hear my heart beating in my ears and the knot in my stomach intensified. She was beautiful. I had never felt this way towards anyone but my ex-wife.

That night last year, fuck, it was damn near perfect. I was scared she was gonna run away. I thought I would scare her off that morning but I'm glad she stayed.

The guys made fun of me for how I acted while she was here, they said I was crazy for hooking up with her; A Fan. They thought I was being ridiculous.. I didn't care though. She was the type to not care. Though I could see the lust in her eyes from the moment I saw her, it was just a childish crush, it was something she had thought about for a long time. I could also see the fear in her eyes of just being another one night stand for Ben Bruce that morning.

I had spent a year talking with her when I had the spare time and her personality was one any guy would crave, Her body nothing less than beautiful and she had a heart of gold that was a little bent and scraped up. I had kept my distance though, not wanting her to feel led on, but secretly, I wanted her all the time.

I thought about her all the time but I never wanted to do anything about it because I felt like she didn't feel the same. I see her every day and just want to talk to her, be around her but at the same time I keep telling myself that she said she doesn't really like relationships and she probably wouldn't want to be with me.

She, Well I invited myself, to her house when she mentioned it just so I could spend time with her and me being a big mouth told everyone else and they came along too. I was glad we all got along, most girls that hang around us are just after one thing and could care less about us as people. Girls usually stick around with one of us and say a big fuck you to the other but Becca, she just was different. I was happy to see a girl that wasn't after just a mental plaque of having banged a band member.

I think I fucked things up that night though; We had been chatting and I finished the massage I was giving her and just didn't talk, I was just in my own thoughts until she asked me why I wanted her to stay that morning if I didn't think strangers were so special. I told her that it wasn't anything that made me want her to stay. I had panicked when she asked since I didn't want to start blurting out what I was feeling for her nor did I want to make her uncomfortable but sure as shit, it backfired. She just rolled over and went to sleep without another word and early in the morning I felt her leave the bed and not come back. I had fallen asleep again but I kept waking up. I could hear her just sitting downstairs and then someone went down with her and I could hear the faintest of talking. I started regretting my answer. I wanted so badly to just hop out of bed and explain to her that I just really liked her and wanted her to stay that day. I left it until I woke up but when I came down, she immediately went up and didn't come down for a while.

"What's wrong with her?" Cameron asked and the only person who was up with her was Denis.

"She's just feeling a little down today, that's all." He mumbled and I looked at him knowing that she must've been upset over what I had said.

"It's because of me, isn't it?" I said plainly, almost angrily. His face looked a bit pained to respond but he nodded.

I felt terrible. She had stayed up all night, did all of our laundry and was upset. All because of me being a dickhead.

I made the quick decision to go up and talk to her but I was stopped.

"Leave her, she's gonna come around but she just needs a little space, okay?" Denis said quietly and I debated on listening but figured it would probably be best.



It was nearing the end of the day and we had to go to the hotel that we were all supposed to be staying at. Becca had come down a little while ago acting mostly normal, chatting and laughing with us but it was obvious to us all that she was a little reserved.

After getting to the hotel, we all split ways and went to our rooms, I was sharing with Denis and was determined to find out what she had told him.

"Alright, tell me." I said as soon as the door had clicked shut. He looked at me skeptically. I knew he didn't want to tell me but I was gonna make him.


After a long and awkward stare, he broke. "She just said that she likes you but whatever you said last night made her feel like she was just another girl to you. I told her to tell you how she feels and she just wasn't about it." He stated and I processed it. I had the urge to just go to her room and tell her but I knew I couldn't... not yet.

"Denis, I... I think I love her." I said, wide eyed and surprised that I had said it outloud. He was a bit surprised too.

"I know." He said.

"What?"

"We all see how you are with her. You're like a little puppy dog. All you do whenever she is around is smile and look at her, we aren't stupid. I told her nearly the same thing." He chuckled a bit.

My bandmates already knew about my feelings yet didn't say anything; Maybe that's why they broke our balls about it so much, They just wanted us to get it over with and get together. I wanted to get with her already too but I was honestly scared. I didn't want to be heartbroken again and I didn't want to break her heart. I didn't want to be rejected or be second guessed. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries with her. I want things to be natural between us. I want to be her best friend first and lover second.


All I want to do right now is talk with her and make things right but being told to give her space... well I had to respect that.

I went to sleep thinking about her and planning my next moves and the rest of the summer.

Notes

I feel like I couldn't quite get this right. I'm never too good with early on POV switches. I hope this isn't too repetitive but I'm planning something big where I wanted this to be part of that.. if that makes sense.

Anyways, there will probably be another upload or two this week because I really love writing for this story.

I hope you're all doing great!
Love you all <3
~Becca xx