JAIME’S POV

Vic and Mike’s parents were highly considering pulling the plug for Vic, but I still feel like it’s too soon. I’ve read a lot of shit online, and even though most sources say there had to be a miracle, I still had a sliver of hope.

Fans would visit the hospital, waiting outside when I needed fresh air. They were respectful; they didn’t ask for a picture or a signature. They just hugged us, cried with us, and told us how much we meant to them.

“Jaime, where’s bear?” Tony came up to me.

“I dunno, I thought she was with you?” Tony shook his head.

“Maybe she is with Mike,” Tony suggested. We all liked to stay together, just in case Vic miraculously woke up. We made our way down the cold, haunted hallway. Mike and his parents were sitting quietly against the wall just outside of Vic’s room. Claire wasn’t with them.

My heart shattered into a million more pieces. She was probably with Vic. “Can I go in?” I asked quietly, and they nodded.

It hurt like hell to walk into his room. My heart ached for my brother. The room was eerie with his lifeless body still there.

But Claire wasn’t in there, and I immediately went into panic mode.

“Where’s Claire?” I asked them, trying to remain composed. Mike’s eyes grew wide; he knew what I was thinking.

“Did you try her apartment?” he asked.

“No,” I finally said after a moment’s reflection. “But I think I know where she is,” I said. Of course, where else would she go?

I knew she wasn’t in her shitty apartment. She was at Vic’s.

I raced over there, assuming the worst. Because only the worst has happened, so what else was there to assume?

“Bear?” I asked quietly when I walked into his house. There was no answer.

I knew where I had to go. I didn’t want to go there. I knew his memory would be tainted there as if he were awake, and I didn’t want to be slapped with the realization that he wasn’t there. It hurt so much, but I slowly opened the door to Vic’s room.

I didn’t see her, and I almost thought that maybe I was wrong, maybe she was at her apartment. I went to turn around because I wanted to get out of his room, but then I saw something on his bed. Four pieces of paper.

I went up to them. Four pieces of paper, each addressed to a different person. One addressed to me.

Suicide notes.

I didn’t waste any time looking at them. I saw the door to Vic’s bathroom was closed.

I raced over, dialing 911 in the process. 911, what’s your emergency? “She may be dead,” is all I said as I rushed to open the door. I kept them on the line so they could trace the call to here, but I didn’t bother saying anything else. When I opened the door, I saw her.

Slumped against the wall. Her left arm sprawled away from her body, pouring blood. A bottle of whiskey on the floor. A pill bottle and a glass of water.

“Oh, God, Claire,” I frantically kicked the bottles and blades aside. I grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped it around her arm. I held her closely to me, touching the side of her face. Her head was drooping unnaturally.

“Bear, talk to me. Wake up,” I cried. I was relieved to hear her moan in agony. That meant that she was still slightly conscious, although she looked like she could slip any second.

Sir, do you have an emergency? I heard from the phone.

“Yes!” I called out, telling them Vic’s address. “Oh, God, hurry,” I said.

I continued to hold her, applying pressure to her arm, caressing her head. “Ambulance is on its way, bear, just hold on,” I begged. I couldn’t lose another best friend, another family member.

“No, let me die,” she moaned, almost inaudibly.

“No,” I said fiercely.

I heard the sound of ambulance sirens in the distance. And then, finally, I heard people racing into the house. “In here!” I called, squeezing her tightly.
She slurred her words quietly. “Please just let me die. I’m a selfish piece of shit, Jaime.”

~~

CLAIRE’S POV

“Am I dead?” I asked to no body in particular.
“No,” I heard Jaime’s voice. Well, I knew I couldn't be dead if I heard Jaime. I was hoping it would be Vic’s voice.

“Jaime, you’re covered in blood,” I scrunched my nose.

“It’s not mine,” he said lowly. I looked down on myself. My left arm was heavily wrapped in bandages.

“Oh,” I said.

“Vic had some brain activity a few hours ago,” Jaime filled me in. I all of a sudden felt very guilty.

“You mean…?”

“There’s a chance, yes,” Jaime said.

“I’m sorry,” I started crying.

“Hey, no, don’t cry,” he said holding my hand.

“It was so selfish of me,” I shook my head.

“Just stop,” he said. “It’s all going to be okay. Your stomach is pumped, your arms are bandaged up, you’re okay, okay?”

“I need to talk to him,” I said, still crying.

“Let’s go then,” he said. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and we walked to Vic’s room, hand in hand.

I blushed immensely as I passed by Mike and Tony—Mike’s parents had left for a few minutes—and I felt very bad. They just attacked me with a giant hug.

“Don’t ever do it again, okay?” Mike said, planting a prolonged kiss on my forehead. Tony hugged me, and I started to cry again because I’ve never received such a tight hug from him. “It’s okay, just shh,” he said. The love I was receiving from theses three boys was heartbreaking. Tony smoothed out my hair while he hugged me. I couldn’t contain my tears. “Go on, talk to him,” Tony pushed me along. I stood by Vic’s door, unsure.

“You need to, bear, go ahead,” Mike said softly.

I timidly opened the door. He looked the same as the last time I saw him, except now there was a monitor next to him with flashing lights and numbers. Did that mean his brain was functioning again?

I slid down one of the bed bumpers and crawled next to him. I planted a kiss on his cheek before I started talking.

“Hi, Vic,” I said. It felt weird, laying next to and talking to an unresponsive body. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I guess I’ll just talk anyway,” I began.

“So, I tried to kill myself today,” the words felt weird in my mouth. I took a deep breath. “I attempted suicide and failed, because Jaime saved me,” I started to choke on my words; I didn’t know what to say to him. Could he even hear me?

“I went to your house, and I curled up in your bed before I did it. When I was lying there I felt so hopeless. Because when I opened my eyes you weren’t there. And everything hurts when you aren’t around. Vic, I stole your pills and I cut my wrists, and I’m so sorry. I kept cutting and cutting and cutting, and each time I did your face flashed in my mind, telling me to stop, but I couldn’t stop, because I had already downed forty pills,” I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my face.

“And I know it’s selfish of me,” my voice was higher-pitched through my crying. “Especially because Jaime and Tony and Mike are still here, and I know I hurt them when I tried. Because we’ve already almost lost you, and I shouldn't have tried to leave them. Because we need each other. But more importantly, we need you,” I buried my face into his cold shoulder.

“I don’t know what else to say. I’ve never been good at talking. But Vic, I miss you so much. Everyone misses you. And it’s torture seeing you here like this: your body alive, but your mind basically dead,” I had a massive knot in my throat, so I couldn’t keep talking, although I wanted to say much more. “Just come back, please, just come back,” I moaned miserably into him. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”



I cried onto his skin for a long, long time. Eventually, I think I fell asleep against him. When I woke, I started to sing softly into his ear.

“This love was out of control, 3-2-1, where did it go? If I were you, I’d put that away. ‘Cause you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling, you’ll be okay.”

I kept softly singing the line “Darling, you’ll be okay” over and over again with my scratchy and worn out voice, until I heard a quiet groan.

Notes

A pretty short chapter, I think.
It's the weekend, and I always write a lot over the weekend. (So expect another update soon!)

Thanks for everything, everyone :) keep reading!