No Idea

‘Sweetie. You look terrible. We should take you to a doctor.’ Mum said. It’s been nearly three weeks and I am still very sick.

‘Maybe we should. I don’t think this is a normal cold anymore.’ I replied from the couch.

‘Come on then. Let’s get you checked up on.’ Mum said as she helped me up from the couch. It kind of hurt around my hips. I hadn’t told mum that I had bruises around my hips either. I kept that a secret.

We got into the rental car that one of the managers hired and we headed on our way. It was silent, I couldn’t deal with the music, and it was too loud for my ears.

‘Mum, what does it mean if I have bruises around my hips?’ I questioned.

‘What do you mean?’ She asked, looking over to me for a short second.

‘Well, it’s nearly gone but a couple weeks ago, I woke up with bruises on my hips. I don’t know how I got them.’ I replied.

‘Anything else I need to know?’ She questioned.

‘I was very sore also. In my parts…. Umm, yeah. There.’ I said, indicating.

‘Ohhh. Well, we’ll also see what is happening there. Could be a part of the sickness.’ She said. I looked out the window for the rest of the drive.

After waiting in the doctors for about a half hour, we finally got called into the room. I walked in behind mum, afraid. I didn’t want to speak, i was too scared, the anxiety sparking up on me. I was shaking. We sat down in the chairs across from the doctor.

‘Hi, I am Doctor Morgan, how can I help you today?’ She asked.

‘My daughter has been very sick for the past three weeks. I thought, well, we thought it would have gone away by now. She has had some complications in parts below and she has been feeling sick.’ Mum said on my behalf.

‘What type of sick? Stella, I need you to describe it to me.’ She said, looking to me. I felt mums hand grip onto mine. I smiled down to it and looked up to the doctor.

‘Well…. I have been wanting to throw up a lot. The complications have been when I urinate. About three weeks ago, I woke up very sick. I must have banged my hips jumping in and out of the bunk, because they were bruised. They are nearly gone now, but here.’ I said, before standing, lifting my shirt to show my hips.

‘Honey, they kind of look like hand prints.’ Mum said, looking to me then to the doctor.

‘They do. Okay, Stella, please, take a seat. I need to ask you a couple of questions.’ Doctor Morgan asked. I nodded my head and she continued.

‘Are you in a relationship?’ I shook my head no. ‘Are you sexually active?’ I shook my head no. ‘Have you ever had sex?’ I shook my head no.

‘I have been getting close to this one guy, who is nearly three years older than I am but I remember everything that happened on those dates.’ I said, being honest with the doctor.

‘What about when you first got really sick, he looked after you, do you remember much that day.’ Mum questioned.

‘Not really. I wanted to sleep mostly. I took that medicine that he gave me, which made me very sleepy. I kind of remember waking up and wondered what has happening. I was on my back, I woke up because I felt as if I was going to throw up again. I remember seeing his face looking back at me. He was above me, he slowly started to unzip my pants….. Oh my god. I think, I think I know what happened.’ I said, tears forming from my eyes, they fell as I looked to the doctor and then my mum.

‘He… oh sweetie.’ Mum leaned over in her chair and hugged me for a very long time.

‘We can run some tests. The drug that he gave you, is probably not in your system anymore, but if you blacked out, you probably were given a drug known as roofies, in your generation. They make you forget and it makes it easier for guys or girls to rape their victim. In this case, unfortunately you. I will need a urine test, to see what is causing your pain. You may have an infection, you could have caught something, like a STD or in the worst case scenario, and you could be pregnant.’ Doctor Morgan stated.

I nodded my head and scrunched my eyes shut. I didn’t want to believe what she was saying but what she was saying is the truth and I have to believe that. The one of three chances I have or I could be fine is a 25% chance.

I did what the doctor wanted before Mum and I left back for the bus. We would be called when the results were back in. The doctor worried about me. I mean, I was only seventeen, the chances that I could have an infection, a STD or be pregnant scares me.

I cried on the way home and I cried when I walked off to a park. I sat on my own, I wasn’t keen enough to go back to the bus, Mum was going to tell Austin, who probably will shoot Nathan. Sarah will rush to my side and cry with me. But in the instance, there was only one person I wanted to talk to and that was Jaime.

I pulled my phone out in front of me and scrolled to the letter J. I pressed his name, which began my phone to ring.

‘Hello?’ Jaime said, when he answered his phone.

‘Jaime.’ I said, crying as I did.

‘What’s wrong Stel?’ He questioned.

‘Something terrible has happened.’ I replied.

‘Stella, you can tell me.’ Jaime said.

‘Nathan. He…. From what I remember, I am pretty sure he raped me. The evidence is coming true at the moment. I went to the doctor and she made me do a test. Hopefully, I’ll find out soon.’ I said.

‘Stel. I am so sorry. I wish I was there for you.’ He said.

‘But you are. You are keeping me calm from freaking out.’ I replied.

‘How could he do that? That frustrates me, angers me. You never deserved to be treated like that Stella. I love you and I would have never treated you like that.’ He stated.

‘You know what, I love you too and I know you wouldn’t have. I miss you so much. I wish I could just cuddle in your arms and kiss you and see you. But I can’t, I’m here and you are there. I want us to be happy again but…’ I said.

‘I know baby. I know. We will be okay again. Soon enough. I miss you too. So much.’ Jaime replied. I cried just a little harder before I had another call come through.

‘Jaime, I’ll call you back. This could be my results.’ I said. He said goodbye and hung up allowing me to answer the new call.

‘Hello?’ I questioned.

‘Hi, is this Miss McDonald?’ They asked.

‘Yes, how can I help you?’ I questioned.

‘We have your results. We were wondering if you could come in and receive them. The doctor wishing to talk to you about a couple things.’ They replied.

‘Of course. Thank you. Goodbye.’ I said before hanging up. I stood up from the grass beneath me and began to walk back to the bus. I walked on when I saw Nathan being thrown off. I moved out the way and watched as he ran off towards the road. Austin jumped off the bus, yelling loudly, louder than he sings before seeing me.

He looked at me and hugged me carefully, making sure that I wasn’t going to get hurt. He let me go and walked me onto the bus, I walked and saw Mum and Sarah sitting on the couch.

‘Mum. My results are in. We need to go back so I can talk to the doctor.’ I said, playing with my phone between my hands. Mum nodded her head before getting off the couch.

Sarah raced to me, hugging me very tight. I hugged her back. ‘Whatever happens, we will all be here for you. We love you, okay.’ She said.

‘Thank you Sarah. I love you too.’ I replied. I let her go and she released me from her hold.

We got to the doctors as fast as we could. We didn’t have to wait, we walked straight into Doctor Morgan’s office. She turned in her chair and slightly smiled as she indicated for us to take a seat.

‘So your results have come back. There was some hormones in your urine which indicates that you are pregnant. I’m sorry to say that. I don’t know what you want to do. There are some options you can take if you wish not to…’ She said.

‘No, I want to keep the baby. I couldn’t give it up. Its mine.’ I replied, interrupting Doctor Morgan.

‘Honey, you can think about this.’ Mum said.

‘No, Mum. I don’t need to. I’ve made my mind up. I’m keeping the baby.’ I said firmly.

I didn’t want to be an eighteen year old with a child but I don’t have a choice now. I don’t like the idea that my child isn’t going to know their father. I want someone who will love them with all their heart and treat them like their own. Nathan is not going to be the father of my child. He may be biologically their father but not in any world will he see her or ever meet her.

‘Okay well, as your mother, I’m sending you home. You can’t be touring anymore. You need to rest, you need to make sure that this baby is healthy.’ Mum said, making me nod my head.

Notes