No Idea

Three months have passed and we are in Europe for the European Tour. They named the tour ‘Final Curtain Call’ tour, which for Tonight Alive, is true. We were in Paris and Nathan was taking me on another date.

Every state that we went to, Nathan found something for us to do. He took me to a water park and he’s taken me to zoos. When we were in New York, he took me to the Statue of Liberty. He’s been so sweet to me.

Talking to Jaime has died down so much. We talk for about 4 hours during the whole week. I guess, that’s what happens after relationships end. I do miss him a lot. I still talk to Tony though, occasionally Pete and Patrick. But other than that, most of my time is spent with Sarah and Nathan, plus Winter.

‘Stella, can I come with you guys out in Paris tonight?’ Sarah asked while we were walking back from a park that we took Winter too.

‘Yeah, I don’t see why not. We will be seeing the Eiffel Tower and probably eating a croissant under it. Well, I will be, not too sure about Nathan.’ I said, making Sarah laugh.

‘Oh, that sounds fun. What time are you going to leave?’ Sarah questioned

‘Uh, I think later tonight. Why?’ I replied.

‘I am skyping Vic today, I haven’t seen him in a week.’ Sarah said.

‘Awesome. I will come past and say hi.’ I said before laughing.

‘Well okay then. Jaime might be there.’ Sarah said as she picked Winter up and put her on her waist.

‘Maybe not then. I haven’t spoken to him in a long time. Well, I have but not a proper conversation.’ I replied.

‘Is that because it’s still awkward from when you broke up?’ She asked.

‘Yeah, and I’ve become a lot closer to Nathan also.’ I answered.

‘Why don’t you just date Nathan, he is a good enough guy.’ Sarah stated.

‘I don’t know. I want to, I think. I like Nathan, I know that. We’ve even kissed, many times, he just hasn’t asked me out.’ I said.

‘Maybe he will.’ Sarah said.

‘Yeah.’ Winter said, nodding her head. We laughed at her as we walked onto the bus.

I walked to the back room where I found Nathan once again sitting. He smiled and stood up when he saw me. I smiled to him as he stood up to greet me. He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me like he hadn’t seen me in days.

I pulled away and hugged him as he hugged me back.

‘I missed you.’ Nathan said as he sat us down on the couch.

‘I could tell.’ I said looking at him as I sat sideways on the couch.

‘You didn’t miss me?’ Nathan questioned, looking back at me.

‘Of course.’ I said, he then kissed me.

‘Tonight is going to be amazing.’ He said.

‘Oh yeah, I invited Sarah along. I know she’s been dying to see Paris for a long time.’ I said.

‘Oh… that’s okay.’ Nathan said, sounding hurt.

We sat in silence after that. I removed my arm and placed it in my lap. We watched ‘If I stay’ until it finished and by the time it had finished I was back in Nathans arms.

I got up and cleaned myself up before Nathan, Sarah and I headed out into the town of Paris, France. I loved how it looked. We made our way towards the Eiffel Tower, looking at all the buildings as we passed. I was amazing with how good the town looked.

‘Isn’t it beautiful?’ Sarah asked. I nodded my head and went to look out the other way but I caught Nathan staring at me, with a smile. I returned the smile and hid my face from him.

We reached the tower and began to walk up it. It was a long way up, but it was worth it in the end. The wind was a bit strong so my hair was blowing in all different directions. I walked to the edge and looked out into the world.

The lights in the houses and the lights in the buildings lit up the night sky. It would have been nice to see the stars from this height but that can’t be helped.

I was staring when I felt arms wrap themselves around my waist. I turned my head slightly and saw Nathan rest his on my shoulder. I smiled to him before looking back out into the open.
‘Doesn’t it look peaceful?’ I asked, admiring the view.

‘It is beautiful, just like you.’ Nathan replied. I spun around so that I was facing him.

‘Stella, I really like you. Will you…’ Nathan began to say but we were interrupted by Sarah coming over.

‘Guys, look at how amazing this place is. I want to live here! It’s so nice, I will probably have to learn French but it’ll be worth it.’ Sarah said, making me laugh and move my way out of Nathan’s arms. He seemed to be annoyed.

‘I like that idea, Sarah. We should both move here. You can bring Vic. Oh my god. Get married here?!’ I said as I put my arm around Sarah and we walked to look at the view on last time.

‘Alright girls. It’s getting late. We should get back.’ Nathan said. He began to walk down the stairs so I followed as did Sarah.

‘Stella. I’m sorry I interrupted you and Nathan. Jaime told me to stop you from getting with him.’ Sarah admitted.

‘It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll ask me again.’ I replied.

~~

I woke up the next morning ill. Very ill. I frowned as I climbed out my bunk that morning and ran to the bathroom. I ended up throwing up everywhere. Well, the toilet, not everywhere. That day, mum, Austin, Winter, Sarah and I were going to go on a family trip but I’m way too ill for that.

‘Mum!’ I yelled through throwing up. She raced into the bathroom to see what was wrong.

‘Oh sweetie.’ She said once she saw me with my head in the toilet.

‘I don’t think I can go out with you all today. Go have fun without me though.’ I said. Mum shook her head.

‘No, no. It’s okay. We can go another day.’ She replied as she rubbed my back.

‘I can look after her. It’ll be okay.’ Nathan said as he walked into the bathroom.

‘Are you sure?’ Mum worried.

‘It’ll be fine. I’ll make her rest and watch over her.’ Nathan said.

‘Okay. Well, can you put her to bed? I have to get her some medicine.’ Mum asked.

‘Oh, that’s okay Jenna. I have this good painkiller that is good for sickness.’ Nathan said, pulling them out of his pocket. ‘I had this feeling she was going to get sick from eating that croissant. It didn’t look too good.’ Nathan said, handing me two tablets and a glass of water.

Once I was helped up from the floor and taken to my bunk. All I wanted to do was sleep. And I think that’s what happened.

*Back to present*

‘This Stella, is going to be a bit hard for us to explain. Because, it’s a hard topic and it kills me to think about how it happened and what he did.’ Sarah said.

‘Wait, he? Nathan? What did he do?’ I asked. I looked at everyone in the room and cringed. Some in anger and some in sadness.

‘Well...’ Sarah said.

*Back to past*

After waking up from my nap, I felt like I was going to throw up again, yet, I couldn’t move from my bunk. I looked up to see that I was lying on my back. My hands were held down, making it unable to move.

‘Shh, Stella. It’s okay.’ I heard Nathan’s voice say.

His face was blurry and when I moved my head, everything looked staggered, like it was all slow motion. My body felt heavy, making it feel like I was stuck to the bed.

Nathan slowly let go of my hands. He sat up over my legs and slowly unzipped my pants. I looked down and saw him slowly pull them off my legs.

‘What are you doing?’ I questioned, slurring my words.

Nathan looked up and that’s when I put my head back on the pillow. It became a bit hard to concentrate. Nathan removed my underwear before I felt a strange feeling. It sort of hurt and then I blacked out.

When I woke up again, I didn’t feel so sluggish. I couldn’t remember much at all. I had a killer headache still and I wanted to be sick once again. I removed myself from the bunk and quickly walked to the bathroom. I threw up once more, no one coming to my rescue now.

*Back to present*

‘So, Nathan, he… he raped me. He is the father to Ruby?’ I asked looking to Jaime.

‘Yeah, it was news to all of us.’ Jaime replied. He grabbed my hand and kissed it before we heard the door frantically open.

Everyone faced the door as a tattooed man run through the door and he stopped in his tracks when he saw me. I looked up to Jaime and he smiled down to me before looking to the man again.

He walked up to the other side of the bed and grabbed my spare hand. I looked up to him and he looked a lot like me. I’ve seen pictures of myself. Everyone keeps trying to remind me of who I am.

‘Stella, baby. Sweetie. I’m sorry I couldn’t have got here any sooner. Our plane just landed. We’ve been in England for a bit. As soon as we heard you were awake, we came right home.’ He said.

‘Oli. It’s good to see you.’ Jaime said extending his hand across the bed in front of me. Oli extended his hand across and shook it.

‘Oli. Wasn’t that my dad’s name?’ I asked, talking to Jaime but looking to the other man.

‘Yeah, sweetie. That’s my name. That’s who I am.’ Dad said as he bent down and hugged me tightly. I let go of Jaime’s hand and hugged him back.

‘Where is Hannah? Mum?’ I asked as I let go of him. He smiled slightly to me before looking towards the door. Three other people walked through the door and a younger child did too. I smiled to them looked back to Dad.

‘This is Hannah. That is your mother. Austin and that little young lady there is Winter.’ Dad said, pointing everyone out.

I smiled to everyone and one by one, I hugged and reconnected with them all. Hannah than Austin, I was now talking to mum.

‘Ah, sweetie. I’m sorry that this happened to you. I wish it didn’t. I came as fast as I could. When you had your accident, your father called me and I remember how fast I booked a flight to come see you. When I saw you, I was afraid that I wasn’t going to every talk to you again. I’m so glad you are okay.’ Mum said, holding onto my hands, making me even cry.

‘Thanks Mum. One day, I’ll remember everything. I will. I slowly am learning about everything. With the help of these guys. I haven’t been so scared in my life, I assume. I love you all for being there for me. You all must mean a lot to me.’ I replied, aiming my speech at everyone.

‘Winter… You took my advice. And how old are you now?!’ I said as I looked behind Mum. Winter looked at me with a smile and walked to my side.

‘Yeah, mum told me what you said about it. I wanted it to be a surprise when you woke up. I mean, how you even remembered that is amazing. And I am 11.’ She questioned.

‘I had the help of your sister.’ I said. I looked to Sarah and smiled. She smiled back and nodded her head.

‘Dad, weren’t you and Hannah expecting a baby? That’s what they told me not long before you got here.’ I asked. I must have pinched their nerves, both going stiff as dad slowly walked over to me.

‘Sweetie. I’m sorry. Let me explain what happened.’ Dad said, taking my hand once again.

*Back to past*

Mum, Austin, Sarah and winter hadn’t returned and I couldn’t find Nathan anywhere so I grabbed my phone and called Dad.

‘Hello?’ He said when answered.

‘Hey dad. How are you?’ I asked.

‘I am not doing too well. I was about to call you actually. I had something to tell you.’ He said, sadness in his voice.

‘What is it dad?’ I replied.

‘Last night, Hannah had some complications with the baby. She was just lying on the couch when she started getting pains in her stomach. I ran into the room and I had to take her to the hospital. Hannah was rushed into a room and soon after, the doctor called me in to tell us that we had lost the baby.’ Dad said, I could hear him crying and that made me want to cry.

‘Oh, dad. I’m so, so, sorry. That’s so sad.’ I replied.

‘We are having a little funeral in the backyard tomorrow. We’ve planted a tree, it’ll grow every year like my little man would have.’ He said.

‘It was a boy?’ I questioned.

‘Yeah, sweetie. It was a boy.’ Dad said. I felt tears fall down my face.

‘Did you have any names?’ I asked.

‘We both liked Colton.’ Dad replied.

‘I love you dad. I’m sorry. Give Hannah a big hug from me.’ I said.

‘I will. I love you too. I miss you. Well, I have to get back to Hannah now.’ He replied.

‘I miss you too. Bye daddy.’ I said. He hung up and I was placed my phone in my hand. I brought them up to my chest and began to cry. I eventually fell back asleep, once again.

Notes