No Idea

Walking into school the next morning was hell. Everyone was with Jaime and I wasn’t ready to face him yet. Seeing as the only entrance was the one where they were standing, I had to walk past them. I sighed and began my walk in. I was hoping to go past without being seen because I was in a pair of navy blue trackies, a crewneck and a pair of rundown sneakers. My hair was in a messy bun and my face was red and puffy from crying.

As I walked past the group, I heard my name being called, I could feel their eyes on me and even Sarah called me and I ignored her. I walked to my locker, grabbed nothing and walked to my class. Today, I was not up for putting up with anyone’s shit.

Seeing as I took Biology and no one else did, I was looking forward to this lesson. The only down part was that Jack took it too.

I walked into class, scanned the room and found an empty seat at the back. I walked up and took a seat and started picking at a little part on the table.

‘Well, well, well, look who decided to sit in the wrong spot today.’ I heard Jack say. I sighed and lifted my head to look at him.

‘Well, look around kid, more seats over there.’ I said, pointing to my usual seat.

‘Just move alright, otherwise we’ll have a problem.’ Jack said.

‘I already have a list of fucking problems, so why don’t you either sit down next to me and we can get to know each other, or you can just leave me the fuck alone. I am not putting up with any of your shit today. So either be nice or fuck off.’ I said, in a deep strained voice. Jack looked a little a taken back so I just bowed my head again and continued picking at the table.

I finally heard books hit the table and a chair slide out and then back in.

‘So, Jack. You’ve decided to be nice and get to know me?’ I asked, smirk lingering my lips.

‘Yes I have. I thought it was pretty cool the way you stuck up to me. It’s like you have this whole other side two you, like it’s badass.’ Jack said, eyes connecting with mine. I smiled and laughed.

‘You don’t know the half of it.’ I said.

‘Well, explain it to me then?’ Jack questioned. I nodded.

The entire class was with Jack talking about anything, surprisingly we have a lot in common and let’s just say that I will never have to be awkward with the group of friends I hang out with. Because Jack invited me to sit with him at break and lunch. And for once, I will be popular and not a loser.

‘So I’ll see you at break then?’ Jack said, making me smile.

‘I will.’ I replied as I began to walk away to my next class.

‘I will pick you up from your locker.’ Jack said before he walked away. I bit my lip but then stopped because I realised what I was doing.

Jack has always been mean to me, never shown any interest in me and now he wants to be friends. Maybe it’s time to get even, right before I go away.

I had a class with Sarah next and I was afraid of what she was going to say or how she was going to react. When I walked up to class, she was standing outside, looking from side to side, when her eyes landed on me, she ran up to me and threw her arms around my body.

I wrapped my arms back around her and I began to cry. I dropped to the floor and sarah followed me. We sat in the walk way for a good 15 minutes before I had stopped crying.

‘What happened?’ Sarah questioned.

‘He said he didn’t want to try. He said that I couldn’t go away. I want to travel. I want to see the world. I regret what I said, I really do, but he was being selfish about the whole situation and he broke up with me. He didn’t want to make it work while I am away, so now he’s to suffer on his own.’ I replied, as I wiped away tears.

‘What did you say?’ She asked.

‘I may have told him that I would come back unlike his parents…’ I said to Sarah, biting my lip as I looked at her.

‘You can’t say something like that!’ She semi-yelled.

‘No fucking shit. I didn’t mean to say it. It just sort of came out.’ I said.

‘Jesus Stel, Well, we will sit away from them, and we will have time to ourselves, I’ll explain to Vic.’ Sarah said as she stood up. She gave me her hand and helped me up also.

‘No, no need to do that. I’ve got other people to sit with. I’ll be okay. I’m sure this will pass by the time we leave. Which is in only less than a month away.’ I say as we begin to walk away to the bathroom.

‘We just skipped a class.’ Sarah said as we continued to walk.

‘Well, let’s just make a habit out of it shall we?’ I say as I wink. She laughed as she playfully hit my arm.

‘I’m in.’ she said.

After our skipping of class, Sarah and I went our separate ways, she went to her locker and I went to mine. I opened my locker and looked at it, it was so clean and organised. It just wasn’t me right now. I followed the rules and something needed to change. Maybe I needed a change.

‘Hey you.’ Jack said, making me jump.

‘Holy fuck, you scared me.’ I said, making him laugh.

‘Well, come on. I’ll introduce you to everyone.’ Jack said placing his arm around me and closing my locker as we began to walk away. As we were walking, Jaime walked past us. He looked so shocked that he stood still in his tracks and watched me as I walked past him.

‘Jesus, close your mouth. You’ll catch flies.’ I said as I laughed into Jacks chest. Jack looked back and laughed as he looked down at me. I looked up at him and smiled. Something about Jack was so intriguing.

I know for a fact that being a bitch to people isn’t the way to go but, maybe it’s the change that I need.

‘Guys, this here is Stella. We all used to pick on her at one stage, and I don’t want that anymore. She is one of us now.’ Jack said as we approached the table.

They all looked at me as if I was a monster. I think they are the monsters, but change is change and it’s about time I start to stick up for myself.

‘How have you been Stell?’ Zack questioned.

‘Well, I broke up with Jaime last night and I feel pretty shit at the moment but fuck him because he is a selfish asshole.’ I say as I sit down next to Zack. He put his arm around me and smiled.

‘Well, fuck him. Who needs him right?’ He replied.

‘Yeah, who needs him?’ I say.

The whole of break and throughout the rest of the day was full of me being a bitch and making sure that everyone who was now ‘one of the cool kids.’ Once school was over, I walked out the school, with Jack and Zack by my side. Everyone knew who I was in a short amount of time and it was exciting to become who I am now.

But the thing is, I don't think I was wanting to be popular, I just liked the idea of change and the idea of being popluar. Can people be nice and popular at the same time?

My first goal was to talk with Sarah. And I don’t think she’d really wanna talk to me, seeing as I have changed. That was clear when I approached her. She rolled her eyes and began to walk off when I caught up behind her on our walk home.

‘Sarah, wait.’ I said as I jogged up beside her.

‘Go away, I don’t want to talk to you.’ Sarah said, shoving me off.

‘Please, let me explain.’ I said, she just kept walking and when she walked up the walk way of her house, I continued to follow. Determine to make her listen.

‘STELLA, please, fuck off.’ She said opening the door, she attempted to close the door but I walked in after her.

‘Sarah! Listen to me! I am not doing what you think I’m doing!’ I yelled, unaware if anyone was actually home.

‘What, you aren’t going to abandon me for Jack and Zack. You aren’t going to become a bitch?’ Sarah asked while she walked up the stairs to her room.

‘Um, no. I’m not going to do that at all. I just want some change. We leave in a month so what does it matter anyway.’ I said, as I walked into her room behind her.

‘What, do you mean, you need change? We aren't good enough? Do you want to make a miracle or something? ’ She questioned.

'Something like that, I just want to change the way they think, the way they act. Maybe they can be nice and popular, because, I mean, I changed Jaime. I really think these guys are misunderstood.' I said as I lent up against her wall.

'Just because you changed Jaime into a better person doesnt mean you will magically change Jack. I know Zack will become the person he was once before but Jack seems too hard to crack.' Sarah said, as she sat at her desk.

'But, you see Sarah, I really do think they are misunderstood, I talked with Jack all day today, he is actually really smart and the way he sees the world, is magical. He has a kind heart, but something in his life is stopping him.' I replied.

'I don't think you can do it. I really don't. But you probably should leave, Jaime and Vic will be over to watch some movies, seeing as you avoided us all today, you really weren't invited.' She said bluntly, I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

'Oh well. I will just go home and see Dad and Hannah, I have to catch up with them anyway. Might go out for dinner with them.' I said as I opened the door. 'And Sarah, you've known me for how long, and you doubt me about this, I will prove to everyone that Jack can be changed. I will do it.' I turned to her, a short smile creeping across my face.

'We'll see, wont we.' Sarah says.

Notes