No Idea

After everyone left, I made sure to get Jamie to sit around. He was sitting on the couch, still fiddling with his hands. I walked up to the couch and sat down, pulling his hand into mine.

‘Jaime…’ I said. He lifted his head up and looked at me. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Please don’t leave me? I don’t think I can last two years. You going away for four weeks killed me.’ Jaime said.

‘We can talk all the time Jaime, even skype? I’m not performing. I’m just seeing the world. At some points it’ll be hard cause of the time. But we can work around this.’ I replied. Jaime dropped my hand and looked at me with a shocked look.

‘But you are leaving for two years. You don’t understand Stel. I loved my parents, they left. I love you and you are leaving me. I hate this. Skype, yeah awesome, but I can’t hold you and kiss you. All I can do is say how much I miss you.’ Jamie said.

‘But I’m coming back. I’ll be back, unlike your parents.’ I said, immediately placing my hand over my mouth.

‘I’m sorry... I didn’t mean it, Jaime.’ I said.

‘Stella, you can’t say that. I would expect something like that from Jack. You’re just as bad as him. God that is so shit of you.’ Jaime said, voice raised.

‘Oh fuck me. I can’t say one little thing I didn’t mean but it was alright for you to pick on me for two years before you could actually talk to me without an insult or a threat. Do you know how shit you made me feel? I hated going to school, hated English, and hated making friends. Cause no matter what I did, I would get shit from your ex-group. And you. But I went to school, went to English and made friends because I couldn’t shake this fucking crush I had on you. You finally accept me for me and now you are getting angry at me for leaving you for two years. I’m sorry I’m leaving you but if you don’t want to make it work while I’m away then, what the fuck do you want Jaime? What do you want?’ I yelled, probably waking up dad and Hannah.

‘I’ve said I was sorry. How many times do I have to say it? Obviously I was doing it for the popularity but I’ve changed now, and you know that. My popularity was the one of the things I cared about, picking on the weaker made me feel the power and it became easy, knowing you were breaking every day. I fed off it. I tried picking on Sarah but it didn’t work, so we had to get to you even more. We befriended Zack and it just got worse. You helped me though the toughest time in my life which changed me forever, and you go say what you said. I just don’t understand why you would say that. I can’t lose them and then wait for you to come back. I’ll be on my own. What I want is for you not to go, I want you to stay.’ Jaime yelled back.

‘I can’t stay Jaime. I love my mum and Austin, and I’m going. I’m sorry but a relationship isn’t going to stop me from not going on tour, around the world.’ I said.

‘Our relationship doesn’t mean anything to you?’ Jaime questioned.

‘I didn’t say that did I? I love our relationship, but it’s like you don’t want to have a relationship while I’m away.’ I replied.

‘It seemed like you implied that. And maybe I don’t. I can’t live without you. But I guess I’m going to have to.’ Jamie said, standing up from the couch. He sighed and walked towards the door.

‘What, that’s it. You just want to end it now? Not give it a shot?’ I said, tears streaming down my face.

‘I’m sorry.’ Was all Jaime said before he opened the door.

‘Well fuck you and have a good life. Wait hold on a minute.’ I said, standing up and walking to the radio. I opened the CD player before pulling the CD out. I looked at it, placed it in the case before facing the hallway.

‘I don’t want anything to do with you again Jaime Preciado!’ I said quietly, throwing the cd towards the door and it crashing into the wall. It crushed into pieces and when they hit the floor, I heard the door slam.

I walked to the hallway and looked to the door.

‘Please come back.’ I whispered. I put my hands over my face and dropped to my knees. I pulled myself together and got up, making my way to the stairs. I walked up them, walking into my room and falling onto my bed, crying into my pillow. I heard the door open slightly and then it close. The bed dipped on my right and then on the left and I felt a two bodies bring me into a hug.

‘Stel, sweetie, if he didn’t want to try, he wasn’t worth it.’ Hannah said, moving my hair out of my eyes.

‘And he’s glad he left before I came down stairs and beat his sorry ass for hurting my little girl.’ Dad said, making my laugh a little.

‘It’s just the fact he didn’t want to try.’ I said, sniffling and then sitting up right.

‘Oh baby girl.’ Dad said, kissing my cheek.

‘Will you guys sleep with me, I don’t want to be alone.’ I asked.

‘Come to our bed, much more room in our king size bed.’ Hannah said.

‘Oh our bed, I like that.’ Dad said towards Hannah.

‘Eww, no. Come on. I have school tomorrow and I’m tired.’ I said. Dad, Hannah and I ran to their room and jumped on the bed. We got under the covers and all slept after laughing about some stupid things.

Notes