The New Member
The Song
Tony’s POV
I decided to try the apologize to Noortje, but everytime I tried to talk she would turn around and walk away. There was no way I was going to get her back, was there? I also guess we’ll never be able to be friends again… I broke my heart by breaking hers. Everything was messed up, and I was the one who caused it.
I was sitting on a stool and had my guitar on my lap. The crowd in front of us was looking at us in anticipation. They could wait to see their favourite band play some of their songs acoustically. This was also the first show in which Noortje also had gotten a microphone, and nobody could wait to hear her voice in the background, especially me. I loved her voice and I hadn’t heard it in weeks. Sure, she talked to others when I was around, but she never said a word directly to me. And her singing, oh god her singing. I really missed that. She was one of the most entrancing people I ever knew.
As you probably have guessed, everything I did or saw reminded me of her. She was all that was on my mind. But that is all she will ever be: In my mind.
I was brought back to reality when Vic’s voice boomed through the speakers.
“So, Noortje. Since you have a microphone, why don’t you sing a song for us?” He grinned.
I immediately perked up. I would hear her beautiful voice once again, and not just in the background.
Noortje shook her head, “They didn’t come here to hear me, they came here for you.”
“Oh come on, please!”
Mike started a chant with the crowd, “Noortje! Noortje! Noortje!”
She giggled a bit and shook her head again, “Ok, ok. But I don’t know what to sing.”
Jaime butted in, “Sing the song you were singing at the hotel yesterday!”
“Which one?”
“You know the something left of us song!”
“I don’t know Jaime…”
“Choose a different one then.”“Wait, hold on. I want to know what song this is now.” Vic interfered.
“It’s just a song I tried playing yesterday and I sang along.”
“Come on! Sing it!”
Noortje chewed on her lip nervously, and eventually gave in. She took a deep breath and looked out at the crowd again, who were staring at Noortje, waiting for her to start.
“This isn't how it's supposed to be
This isn't how we're supposed to treat each other
Remember when we only had love for one another?
Now it's gone
Like leaves against the wind and weather
Life's teaching lessons and I've learned that I should never love another
Can we start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never
Start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never
This isn't how it's supposed to be
This isn't how we're supposed to treat each other
Remember when we only felt free?
Now all we feel is empty
The good feeling's gone
There's nothing left for us to hold on
Life's teaching lessons and I've learned that the best of you isn't best for me so what's best for us is to move on”
Her voice trailed off at the end, as if she was trying her best not to cry.
"Can we start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never
Start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never”
Tears were now streaming down her face and her voice was very shaky. She took a deep breath and waited a bit before continuing.
“This isn't how it's supposed to be
And this isn't how we're supposed to treat each other
Remember when we only felt free?
Now all we feel is empty
The good feeling's gone
The good feeling's gone
The good feeling's gone
The good feeling's gone”
She was now full on crying, but still felt determined to finish the song.
“Can we start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never.”
The song finished and she stood up and ran away without looking back. Everyone around us was so confused, but I knew what this was about. I caused every single tear that fell. It was all my fault. I had to do something about this.
“I’ll go check on her.” I mumbled while standing up myself.
----
Noortje’s POV
I ran away from the small stage we were playing on. There was a reason I didn’t want to play this song. I knew this was going to happen. I would cry and humiliate myself. This always happens. Fuck this and that fucking asshole.
I ran into the small dressing room we had and was ready to pack my stuff and leave. Who knew where I would go? Maybe back home? Maybe some exotic country where nobody will find me? But I had no time to think about this as I was stopped by someone saying my name from the doorway. I turned around and saw Tony. What did he want? Say something else that will just break me?
“Noortje.” He tried again.
I turned back around and started putting things I had lying around the room, into my bag.
“Come on, just talk to me.” He muttered, moving closer to me.
I still didn’t respond.
“Look, I’m really sorry, ok? I shouldn’t have said you were trying to kill yourself. I shouldn’t just jump to conclusions.”
This set me off. I couldn’t believe him.
“Are you being fucking serious right now!” I shouted and got in his face, “You want me to talk, Tony? Huh? Well let’s start off with that is not at all what this is about. Sure, it fucking started this all, but that’s only half of it! First of all, how dare you come up to me, completely drunk out of your mind, and tell me you love me, right after you broke my heart! Oh, and don’t forget you just ran away when I needed you the most. Yes, I saw you running away in Italy! And you want to know why I haven’t spoken to you? Well, let me tell you this. I am fucking afraid. I’m afraid that I will just burst out into tears. It’s so difficult, Tony, so difficult.”
Tony looked at me with an unreadable expression, “I- I-”
“Exactly.” I whispered as I turned around and tried to wipe some of the tears on my cheeks away.
“No, just listen to me. I can’t see you hurt. That’s why I jumped to my conclusion so quick. I don’t know what I would do if you died, because you are hurting yourself. And when I saw you hurt because of that guy, I just didn’t know what to do. I was so mad, yet so upset. I was literally bawling my eyes out before you all came back. I really don’t know what to do without you.”
I turned back around to look at him.
“And I’m so sorry about the drunken incident… But I really meant it,” He placed his hand on my cheek and wiped away some tears, “I do love you. I really really do.”
He smashed his lips against mine and I grabbed his face, deepening the kiss. Our tears mixed together, creating a pleasant salty solution. Tony’s hands wandered down and rested on my waist, pulling me closer. I sank into him and felt his strong heartbeat. This is what I lived for. I lived for his touch, his taste, his feel. My hands tangled themselves in Tony’s hair as his soft lips molded with mine.
We slowly pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes. I started giggling and Tony chuckled slightly at my reaction. I pulled him back into a hug and rested my head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. He smelled of a mixture of sweat, cologne, and shaving cream, or, as I like to call it, home.
“I love you so so so much.” Tony said under his breath once again.
I couldn’t say it back to him yet. The last time I did everything went wrong. Love isn’t just something I will be able to say easily. I never had it around me, and now made sure I would never take it for granted. Overusing the word would make it lose it’s meaning, and I will always try to prevent that from happening.
Tony slouched a bit, knowing that I wouldn’t say it back. However, he hugged me even tighter and moved so his mouth was next to my ear.
“I still have something that’s yours.” He whispered.
He pulled away from the hug and made me turn around. I felt something cool touching my neck and looked down to see the necklace I had thrown on the floor being put on me.
“I still have it.” I stuttered.
“Of course I do. I immediately regretted what I had said.”
I grinned up at him and we stood in each other’s embrace for quite a lot time.
“We probably should get back… before we ruin the whole show…” I mumbled, not wanting to leave Tony’s warmth.
He nodded and grabbed my hand. I was lead through the many corridors until we made the stage. Vic saw us walking up and grinned. He looked at Tony, who gave him a nod as he showed me back to my seat. I got handed my guitar by Tony before he went to sit on his own stool again.
Maybe this day wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be.
I decided to try the apologize to Noortje, but everytime I tried to talk she would turn around and walk away. There was no way I was going to get her back, was there? I also guess we’ll never be able to be friends again… I broke my heart by breaking hers. Everything was messed up, and I was the one who caused it.
I was sitting on a stool and had my guitar on my lap. The crowd in front of us was looking at us in anticipation. They could wait to see their favourite band play some of their songs acoustically. This was also the first show in which Noortje also had gotten a microphone, and nobody could wait to hear her voice in the background, especially me. I loved her voice and I hadn’t heard it in weeks. Sure, she talked to others when I was around, but she never said a word directly to me. And her singing, oh god her singing. I really missed that. She was one of the most entrancing people I ever knew.
As you probably have guessed, everything I did or saw reminded me of her. She was all that was on my mind. But that is all she will ever be: In my mind.
I was brought back to reality when Vic’s voice boomed through the speakers.
“So, Noortje. Since you have a microphone, why don’t you sing a song for us?” He grinned.
I immediately perked up. I would hear her beautiful voice once again, and not just in the background.
Noortje shook her head, “They didn’t come here to hear me, they came here for you.”
“Oh come on, please!”
Mike started a chant with the crowd, “Noortje! Noortje! Noortje!”
She giggled a bit and shook her head again, “Ok, ok. But I don’t know what to sing.”
Jaime butted in, “Sing the song you were singing at the hotel yesterday!”
“Which one?”
“You know the something left of us song!”
“I don’t know Jaime…”
“Choose a different one then.”“Wait, hold on. I want to know what song this is now.” Vic interfered.
“It’s just a song I tried playing yesterday and I sang along.”
“Come on! Sing it!”
Noortje chewed on her lip nervously, and eventually gave in. She took a deep breath and looked out at the crowd again, who were staring at Noortje, waiting for her to start.
“This isn't how it's supposed to be
This isn't how we're supposed to treat each other
Remember when we only had love for one another?
Now it's gone
Like leaves against the wind and weather
Life's teaching lessons and I've learned that I should never love another
Can we start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never
Start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never
This isn't how it's supposed to be
This isn't how we're supposed to treat each other
Remember when we only felt free?
Now all we feel is empty
The good feeling's gone
There's nothing left for us to hold on
Life's teaching lessons and I've learned that the best of you isn't best for me so what's best for us is to move on”
Her voice trailed off at the end, as if she was trying her best not to cry.
"Can we start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never
Start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never”
Tears were now streaming down her face and her voice was very shaky. She took a deep breath and waited a bit before continuing.
“This isn't how it's supposed to be
And this isn't how we're supposed to treat each other
Remember when we only felt free?
Now all we feel is empty
The good feeling's gone
The good feeling's gone
The good feeling's gone
The good feeling's gone”
She was now full on crying, but still felt determined to finish the song.
“Can we start saying the things that we used to say or go back to the way that we used to be?
So close together
No, never.”
The song finished and she stood up and ran away without looking back. Everyone around us was so confused, but I knew what this was about. I caused every single tear that fell. It was all my fault. I had to do something about this.
“I’ll go check on her.” I mumbled while standing up myself.
----
Noortje’s POV
I ran away from the small stage we were playing on. There was a reason I didn’t want to play this song. I knew this was going to happen. I would cry and humiliate myself. This always happens. Fuck this and that fucking asshole.
I ran into the small dressing room we had and was ready to pack my stuff and leave. Who knew where I would go? Maybe back home? Maybe some exotic country where nobody will find me? But I had no time to think about this as I was stopped by someone saying my name from the doorway. I turned around and saw Tony. What did he want? Say something else that will just break me?
“Noortje.” He tried again.
I turned back around and started putting things I had lying around the room, into my bag.
“Come on, just talk to me.” He muttered, moving closer to me.
I still didn’t respond.
“Look, I’m really sorry, ok? I shouldn’t have said you were trying to kill yourself. I shouldn’t just jump to conclusions.”
This set me off. I couldn’t believe him.
“Are you being fucking serious right now!” I shouted and got in his face, “You want me to talk, Tony? Huh? Well let’s start off with that is not at all what this is about. Sure, it fucking started this all, but that’s only half of it! First of all, how dare you come up to me, completely drunk out of your mind, and tell me you love me, right after you broke my heart! Oh, and don’t forget you just ran away when I needed you the most. Yes, I saw you running away in Italy! And you want to know why I haven’t spoken to you? Well, let me tell you this. I am fucking afraid. I’m afraid that I will just burst out into tears. It’s so difficult, Tony, so difficult.”
Tony looked at me with an unreadable expression, “I- I-”
“Exactly.” I whispered as I turned around and tried to wipe some of the tears on my cheeks away.
“No, just listen to me. I can’t see you hurt. That’s why I jumped to my conclusion so quick. I don’t know what I would do if you died, because you are hurting yourself. And when I saw you hurt because of that guy, I just didn’t know what to do. I was so mad, yet so upset. I was literally bawling my eyes out before you all came back. I really don’t know what to do without you.”
I turned back around to look at him.
“And I’m so sorry about the drunken incident… But I really meant it,” He placed his hand on my cheek and wiped away some tears, “I do love you. I really really do.”
He smashed his lips against mine and I grabbed his face, deepening the kiss. Our tears mixed together, creating a pleasant salty solution. Tony’s hands wandered down and rested on my waist, pulling me closer. I sank into him and felt his strong heartbeat. This is what I lived for. I lived for his touch, his taste, his feel. My hands tangled themselves in Tony’s hair as his soft lips molded with mine.
We slowly pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes. I started giggling and Tony chuckled slightly at my reaction. I pulled him back into a hug and rested my head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. He smelled of a mixture of sweat, cologne, and shaving cream, or, as I like to call it, home.
“I love you so so so much.” Tony said under his breath once again.
I couldn’t say it back to him yet. The last time I did everything went wrong. Love isn’t just something I will be able to say easily. I never had it around me, and now made sure I would never take it for granted. Overusing the word would make it lose it’s meaning, and I will always try to prevent that from happening.
Tony slouched a bit, knowing that I wouldn’t say it back. However, he hugged me even tighter and moved so his mouth was next to my ear.
“I still have something that’s yours.” He whispered.
He pulled away from the hug and made me turn around. I felt something cool touching my neck and looked down to see the necklace I had thrown on the floor being put on me.
“I still have it.” I stuttered.
“Of course I do. I immediately regretted what I had said.”
I grinned up at him and we stood in each other’s embrace for quite a lot time.
“We probably should get back… before we ruin the whole show…” I mumbled, not wanting to leave Tony’s warmth.
He nodded and grabbed my hand. I was lead through the many corridors until we made the stage. Vic saw us walking up and grinned. He looked at Tony, who gave him a nod as he showed me back to my seat. I got handed my guitar by Tony before he went to sit on his own stool again.
Maybe this day wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be.
Notes
Sorry for the short crappy chapter.
I hope you're happy they are back together again, though.
Please give me any ideas for their story.
- DSN
@Nickyvlxx
Hahaha, thank you. You can totally see how my writing has developed in this story; the first chapters are written so bad. I'm excited for our story as well.
4/10/16