The pact

I was swimming in black water. Little lights shone from everywhere, making it look like I swum through the night sky. I wished I didn’t have to get out of the water. It was warm and it made me feel infinite. But I started to worry about breathing so I swum towards the surface, which was recognisable by a soft red light.
My head lost touch with the water and I could see what was above the surface. I seemed to be swimming in a black lake, a large dome entirely made of stained glass in all colours surrounded the lake. It gave a dark, but warm feeling to the surrounding.
I looked around the place and saw that everyone I loved was here. They were all swimming in the lake dressed in silk black swimwear. I saw Jaime jumping off a springboard into the starry water. A few feet away I saw Casey and Mike kiss each other and it seemed like a soft pink light fell on them.
My father was laying on the dark green grass and had a beer in his hand. He seemed to be enjoying watching everyone swim. My grandparents were sitting at the edge of the lake with their feet in the water. They looked a lot younger, younger than I had ever seen them, but I could still recognize them by their smiles.
At the other side of the lake I saw Tony play on his guitar. He also had his feet in the water and was splashing them around to the beat of the song he was playing. It wasn’t a song I knew.
Even Leah was there spinning around in the black water. A smile was on her face as she traced the water with her fingers with every turn. It almost made me cry to see her so happy and alive.
There were more people I knew, but only people I thought were nice. The old lady from the reception at school that always let me get away with being too late, the man I had met the grocery shop once who helped me pick up my groceries when I had dropped them, the little kid that had gave me a random flower once when I was walking to school and more.
They all seemed happy and peaceful. It made me feel happy and peaceful too. The only person I was missing was Vic. When I realised that, I started searching for him and I turned around in the water. Why would everyone I like be here and he wouldn’t?
I got out of the lake and black water droplets dropped from my hear unto my silk black swimming suit and then fell on the dark green grass. The grass felt like feathers under my feet as I started walking around the place. Everything in this place was beautiful and perfect, but it wasn’t really if he wasn’t here. It made me panicky to know that he didn’t exist in this perfect world.
As I was walking beside the stained glass wall, I suddenly heard a loud bang beside me. I looked to my left and saw two hands pushed against the glass. I had to get really close to the glass to see that Vic was on the other side of it. Instead of wearing silky black he wore red swim shorts that seemed to be ripped at some places. Like something at ripped it off. His hair was messy and his eyes were full of panic. He was being chased! I needed to let him in!
“Vic! Are you alright?!” I shouted hoping that someone would hear me and would come and help me.
Vic just kept staring at me with his panic-filled eyes. He didn’t say anything.
“Don’t worry! I’ll get you in here!” I said and I started looking around for a door. There wasn’t any. There was nothing on the entire dome that seemed like it could open. It suddenly changed the entire ambiance of the place. It made me feel claustrophobic. It didn’t seem to effect the other people in the dome though. Tony kept playing, Leah kept spinning and my dad kept drinking. All with smiles on their faces.
Then I searched the floor for stones or something else I could break the glass with. There was nothing. Everything here was too soft to break the glass. It had seemed perfect at first, but now it was a huge disappointment.
Suddenly Vic started banging really hard on the glass with his fists. It made me feel more panic and I pulled at my hair. I didn’t know what to do. I was trapped and he was outside the cage. The place that had felt like a paradise before now felt like a cage.
I was broken out of my panic attack by the piercing sound of thunder only a second later the blinding light of lighting. It broke through the ceiling of the dome, the glass spalling into a little pieces. The pieces of glass fell down on the lake and surroundings like rain. I made myself small and covered my head with my arms. The blinding light still shone through the cracks of my arms, but I couldn’t feel anything fall on me.
The light slowly disappeared and got my arms away from my head. I stood up and looked around. Everyone in the dome was lying lifeless on the place they had been. Leah was floating on the water with her head done, Tony’s guitar slowly slipped of his lifeless legs into the water and Jaime’s limp body half hung over the edge of the springboard, his arms bungling down.
I put a trembling hand to my mouth, but was unable to cry. I almost didn’t dare to look beside me. I did anyway and I half expected Vic to lay there lifeless too, but instead I saw something that both made me confused and sad at the same time. He was running away. Through the half broken glass, I saw Vic walk away from the scene, like he didn’t belong in it anymore.
And then I woke up. The first thing I did was check the right side of the bed. Luckily I felt Vic’s chest under my hand. I knew it was just a dream, but for some reason I still half expected him to be gone.
“Uhm Luna. Why is your hand on my chest?” he said with his morning voice.
I turned around to face him and took away my hand. “I dreamed everyone died and you ran away.” I said.
He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. He was used to my nightmares by now too. But this one was different, this one started out good. “I’m not going anywhere.” He said and he pressed a kiss on my forehead.
I nodded and smiled a weak smile. “And everyone is still alive.”
He sat up straight, but kept looking at me. “Well I can’t tell you with hundred percent certainty, but I don’t really see a reason why they wouldn’t be.” He said and I chuckled. I knew he was right, but I knew I would be a little calmer if we’d go down in a minute and I could check on my grandparents and father.
I felt a wave of relieve wash over me as I saw my grandfather read his paper in his chair, my dad talk with my mom at the breakfast table and my grandma prepare bacon in a frying pan.
Vic pinched my hand, his way of telling me ‘I told you’. I grinned and sat down at the breakfast table. During breakfast I caught up with my grandparents. I told them about school and my friends (I left out all the bad things) and my grandma told me about how life in England was like since me and my parents had left. She said she had really been missing us, which didn’t surprise me. My dad had a brother, but he lived at the other side of the country. So basically all of my grandparents’ children and grandchildren lived miles away from them. I felt bad for them for that.
After breakfast Vic and I decided to pay a visit to my old secondary school. It was Monday and it wasn’t summer break yet in the UK yet. Casey was probably there and she might’ve even taken Mike with her. I had no idea how she would sneak him in, considering the fact that he didn’t had a uniform, but it was typically her to succeed at it anyway.
“I’m quite curious what English high schools look like.” Vic said as we were roaming the streets of Bristol. It was cold outside today. Not as cold as usual, but the sun didn’t shine, it was hidden behind light grey clouds.
“Quite different as American ones, I tell you.” I said. “Why do you think it was such a shock for me to move? They’re a lot stricter here, I just hope we don’t get send of the property. Not that it matters, I don’t go to school here anymore.”
We turned a corner and in the distance I could see the high, old building that was my old school. “What if we run into your old friends?” Vic asked a little softer than before.
I had thought about this already. I didn’t want any drama, maybe after all, our big fight wasn’t as bad as it seemed at first. After all I had been through I was ready to forgive them and act normal to them. “We just talk to them like friends. I don’t want to start another drama about it. Who knows, maybe it was one big misunderstanding after all.” I said.
Vic looked at the side of my face, trying to read it. “Are you sure? Are you not mad anymore?” He asked.
I shook my head and smiled at him. He smiled back and took my hand. We walked on the property of my school. It was lunch break apparently, as lots of students in dark blue and grey uniforms were roaming the property. Some were eating and some were chatting.
The tall, brownish building that rose up behind the property brought back a lot of memories. I had spent five years in this building, every Monday till Friday. It was weird to be back here, now this place didn’t play a big part in my life anymore.
“Wow.” Vic said looking at the tall building with big eyes. “this is beautiful. And awesome.”
I giggled. “It’s just school.” I said and I dragged him inside the building. As we were walking the halls, people stared at us. Probably because we were the only ones without uniforms.
“It’s so weird that everyone looks alike.” Vic whispered to me and I chuckled.
I looked around, most of the people here I recognised, well I recognised at least their faces. I don’t know if anyone recognised me though. I wasn’t really a striking person here. I wasn’t popular, I didn’t get into trouble. I was practically invisible. I hated it back then, but now I would’ve given anything to get it back.
We walked into the court yard. My favourite place at this school. The sun shone on the green leaves of the trees standing next to the little stone benches which were placed here and there. I was happy to see that the bushes still had soft pink blossoms in it.
I smiled as I guided Vic to the nearest stone bench. We sat down on it and watched people. I told him little stories about some of the people I knew. The gossip from a year ago you could say.
A few minutes later a boy I knew only too well, came our way. It was the guy that, according to the rumour, I had kissed. A year ago he was in a relationship with Amber, one of my best friends back then.
“Hi Ruben.” I said as the memory of my friends all turning their back on me returned to my memory. I hadn’t thought about it for at least four months.
He gestured his hands towards me. “Look at you! You have changed a lot!” he said. “Not in a bad way.”
Ugh. He had always been this charming. Ruben was one of those boys, I thought I had feelings for once, but they went away quite soon. He had been a good friend of me, though. Until the rumour.
“Thank you, I guess.” I said. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
He smiled and then looked at Vic. “Uhm, Ruben this is Vic, my boyfriend. Vic, this is Ruben. An old friend.” I said gesturing between the two.
“Nice to meet you.” Ruben said politely and reached out for Vic’s hand. Vic took it and smiled a very fake smile. He didn’t say anything.
Ugh. I knew exactly why he was behaving like this. I had told Vic the story of how I lost my friends and for some reason he had always suspected Ruben to have been the one that spread the rumour.
I decided to ignore him and act like nothing had happened. Like I said, I didn’t want any more drama. “How are things going?” I asked Ruben.
He straightened his tie. “Things are going alright. Me and Amber are back together, though.” He said.
“Oh, she forgave you?” I asked. I remembered how angry she was. I didn’t think she would actually get back with him.
“There wasn’t really much to forgive, we didn’t make out.” He said gesturing between me and him.
“Did you spread the rumour?” Vic suddenly asked. I wanted to slap him right now. What was wrong with him today?! But I didn’t say anything. Partly because I hoped this conversation was still fixable and partly because I wanted to know the answer myself.
Ruben looked at Vic and his already pale skin went even paler. “To be honest, it could’ve been my fault. I didn’t do it on purpose though.” He said.
Vic raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” he said and I bit my lip. I felt this going towards an argument. The tension was slowly growing.
“I might’ve slipped to my friends that I had kissed you oncein a drunk state. To be honest, I was a little mad at you because I wanted you first, but you didn’t want me.” he said more towards me than towards Vic.
Shit. I didn’t know that. “You failed to mention that.” Vic said to me.
“I didn’t know!” I said and then I turned my head to Ruben. “You never even told me!”
“I thought it was obvious.” He said defensive and he put his hands in the air. “And then Amber found out about it and she all freaked out! She told everyone you had betrayed her.”
Then Vic stood up and faced Ruben. They were actually the same height, so for the first time it didn’t look weird. “You knew it wasn’t true! You should’ve stood up for her!” Vic yelled and a few people looked our way.
I stood up and took a hold of Vic’s arm. “Vic, please.” I said with a warning tone in my voice.
Ruben moved a little closer to Vic. He was definitely pissed off. Which I could definitely understand. “Don’t you think I tried?! They wouldn’t believe me! That’s not my fault!” he yelled back.
“You know what I think? I think you were still mad at Luna for not liking you back, so you let her friends be mad at her!” Vic said poking a finger into Rubens chest.
That was enough for me. I was not going to embarrass myself any more. There were a lot of people watching us now and they were whispering to each other.
I grabbed Vic’s arm and dragged him out of the courtyard and through the hallways until we were of school grounds. I made sure everyone was out of side before I started yelling at my boyfriend. “Are you out of your mind?!” I yelled. “I told you I didn’t want any drama!”
Vic’s eyes got big. “You’re kidding me, right?! This was the guy that started the rumour that made you lose all your friends!” he yelled back at me. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to do this right now, because he wasn’t calmed down from the argument at the courtyard, but I just needed to let this out. “I don’t fucking care, Vic! I told you not to! He was drunk and even if he wasn’t, I don’t want to fight with him. Fuck, I don’t even understand why you would want to!”
Vic dragged his hand through his hair. “You don’t want this guy to feel sorry for what he did at all?” he asked.
“No!” I yelled. “And maybe he was! You didn’t give him a chance to say he was sorry!”
He shook his head and looked away from me. “He had plenty chance to say it, but he didn’t. I can’t believe you standing up for him! He could’ve at least told you that he was the one who spread the rumour! I’m the one standing up for you now, that’s something he should’ve done one year ago!”
Why couldn’t he understand?! He was always the one that understood everything. I think I gave him too much credit for that. “I don’t care, Vic! After all I have been through, this doesn’t matter to me anymore. All I fucking want is to quit the drama. For once I want to live a quiet and calm life and you just decide to ruin that!”
I saw that that hit him. He looked taken back for a few seconds. Then he shook his head an looked away again. “I thought you just didn’t dare, so I did it.” He said a little bit softer.
“I would’ve told you if I didn’t. Like I tell you EVERYTHING.” I said. “I don’t understand why you act like this. You’re quick to anger all the time and it’s not like you at all. Just quit it, I’ve had my fair share of anger in my life. I don’t want any more!”
To be honest. When Vic started standing up for me, it was cute. Now, almost a half year later, it was annoying and saddening. I hated anger.
“I act like this because I love you!” he shouted out.
“If this is what you’re love for me does, then maybe we shouldn’t be together!” I said and neither of us believed I had said that. I didn’t mean it, but it still echoed through my mind. Saying it out loud made me wonder if it was true.
Vic’s mouth was open for a while and then he closed it. I wanted to say something, but he raised his hand to make clear that he didn’t want me to say anything.
I closed my mouth and looked away. For some reason I didn’t regret what I had said. We had been four months together now. We loved each other like we had never loved each other before, but the friendship that I had valued in our relationship was slowly slipping away. It made misunderstandings like this possible. I didn’t want to be together with him anymore if we didn’t have that friendship anymore.
“Let’s just go home.” I said. He nodded and started walking. I followed and we kept quiet the rest of the walk.

Vic’s POV
The next day I woke up at six am. We didn’t need to do anything, but I just couldn’t sleep anymore.
“If this is what you’re love for me does, then maybe we shouldn’t we be together!”
Those words kept echoing through my head. Did she mean it? She didn’t take it back. The rest of the day she hadn’t talked to me.
I knew that I might’ve been wrong yesterday. She did say she didn’t want to cause drama and I did anyway. No matter how wrong that guy was, I should’ve trusted her. But still! I was not about to let this guy just walk all over her!
I knew I was wrong, but I just couldn’t help it. Ever since I had met her, I had had this protective feeling over her. I think it intensified after she had been kidnapped. I think I partly blamed myself for what happened and tried so desperately not to get her hurt again. Yesterday it had backfired in my face. I actually did hurt her by doing what I did.
I didn’t want to break up with her, but I was kind of sick of fighting. Being with Luna had been a constant fight. First to keep her away from me, then to protect her, then to get her to be with me, to get her to act on her feelings for me and now to prevent her from getting hurt. Maybe breaking up was just what we needed. Al though I was pretty sure I would fall apart if we would break up.
I swung my legs over the edge of bed and put my face in my hands. This year had been so eventful. In many ways it had been the best year of my life, but in other ways the worst. Both sides were because of Luna. She had opened up so many doors for me, she has made me feel alive. But at the other hand, because of her I finally got to feel the pain again that always follows if you care for someone. It was tiring.
I looked behind me to the left side of the bed. Luna’s brown hair was spread over the pink pillow and she was laying with her back towards me. Her small hand was laying on her side and I thought about taking it for a while, but for the first time I didn’t act on my feelings and didn’t do it.

Luna’s POV
We didn’t talk at all during breakfast and actually neither did we during the rest of the day. We decided to stay in with my grandparents today. Vic mostly just read a book in the corner of the living room or watched TV in my room. I was happy he didn’t talk to me. It gave me an opportunity to think things through.
I mostly just talked about politics with my grandad. Our usual topic. Talking with my grandad gave me some distraction from the sadness and heartbreak I was going through now.
That was until my grandad said, two days after the fight with Vic: “Are you and prince charming having trouble, darling?”
He had his glasses down his nose and looked at me with a knowing smile. I never understood how my grandad noticed everything while all he did was read the newspaper.
“A little.” I said honestly.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” He said and he gave me a pat on my shoulder. I smiled at him weakly. I wasn’t so sure about that any more.
Al though these two days of silence between me and Vic made me think and I’m pretty sure I want to give us another shot. We deserve another shot. We have been through so much together and this wouldn’t drift us apart. We didn’t get that friendship back by breaking up. It would just leave us broken and even more traumatised than we already were.
I loved him with all my heart and I had almost forgotten a few days ago how rare that was for me. I wasn’t going to let that slip because of this. We could get through this, I was sure about it. I think people didn’t realise enough how rare and beautiful love is and they let go of it too soon.
The next morning I gently shook his shoulder until he woke up. “Vic, I need to talk to you.” I said softly.
He let out a deep breath and dragged his hands over his face. “Yeah, I figured we should. I have been thinking a lot.” He said with his face still in his hands.
“Me too, but let’s talk somewhere else. Like my grandma said, the walls are made of paper here.” I said and he nodded.
We got up and got changed. I just took the first thing I saw in my suitcase and threw it on. I couldn’t care less what I looked like right now. I was actually nervous. I didn’t want this to go wrong. If it did, I would lose my best friend and boyfriend in one go.
We got out of the house and walked for a while, searching for a quiet place to talk. After we had walked for like a half hour through the old streets of Bristol, we got to a park and I sat down on a bench that was written on multiple times with black marker.
Vic sat down next to me and we both just kind of stared off in the distance. We stared at the colourful flowers that were placed next to a clear lake. Little ducks were swimming around in the water. It was still quiet in the park, as it was only eight am.
“Did you mean what you said?” Vic asked suddenly. He didn’t look at me. He just stared at the ducks. I knew exactly what he meant by saying that.
“Yes.” I said. “But I don’t anymore. We can get through this. We have gone through worse, right?”
I looked at Vic’s face and saw that he was at the edge of crying. It was obvious that he didn’t know what to say. I took his hand as reassurance, but he took it away and put it on his lap.
The rejection kind of hurt, but not as much as what he said after that. “I thought a lot about what you said and I think you might’ve been right. Maybe we aren’t so perfect for each other as we always thought we were. Maybe we only make each other’s pain bigger instead of less.”
I couldn’t believe it. He was trying to break up with me. For all these months, I always thought I’d be the one to do that. Not for egocentric reasons, but just because I always felt like he wouldn’t do that.
“No Vic. If you do one thing, then it’s mending my pain.” I said, trying to get him to look at me, but he kept looking away.
He sighed. “I’m done with caring. I don’t think I realised until now, but I am.” He said and he sounded broken. Did I really do that kind of damage to him?
“Vic…” I said, but I didn’t know what to say anymore. I knew he had made his decision.
“I’m sorry, Luna.” He said. And with those words, it felt my life fell apart. For months Vic had been like a rope I had been trying to hang on to. Now it felt like that rope had been taking away and I was falling into a dark, deep abyss.
That day, only a few hours later, I had to see him walk away. Through the gates of the airport he went, heading back to San Diego. Without me.
I vaguely remember my mom saying to me: “Do you see? Never trust boys like that.”
I couldn’t remember much more from that day, except for me crying while seeing Vic walk away from the scene he didn’t belong to anymore.

Notes

heeyy guys

I'm soooooooo sorry for not updating earlier! I had exam week :'( believe me, all i wanted to do was write that week, but I just couldn't.

okay, so what do you guys think? Is Vic overeacting? should they get back together? Do you understand why Vic did this?

ugh I'm so in love with the song wich the title of this chapter is based on. I have heard it at least 154646879745 times.

xxxx

Nicky