My Favorite Explosion

I woke up the next morning on the couch in the living room with a massive headache. I obviously had quite a few too many last night but it was necessary. Or at least I was going to tell myself that. I rolled over to grab my phone off the coffee table to find I had sixteen missed calls and thirty four text messages. The majority of them were from Mike, some from dad, a couple from Austin and one from a number I didn’t recognize. Mike had left me a few voicemails, begging me to call him back so we could talk about what happened last night, and to rain check our drunken movie night. Dad to let me know he had gone out fishing for the day and didn’t want to wake me this morning figuring I was recovering from the jet lag and that he had spoken to Austin who didn’t have a clue still. Austin called just to check up on me as he did at least once a week and there was no voicemail or text from the unknown number. I just shrugged it off as someone who dialed wrong.

I finally managed to get myself off the couch once I realized it was three o clock in the afternoon and I had yet to answer anyone. I sat myself up and looked around to see what mess I had left lying around only to realize there was nothing left to be cleaned up. Either dad cleaned up after me this morning or I’m the drunk that has to clean up before going to sleep. Regardless, it was nice to not wake up to a mess. I got myself up off the couch and decided to call everyone back after I got myself a shower. I walked downstairs to the little apartment dad had made up for me and turned the water on to warm up. I undressed from the clothes I had on from yesterday that I had slept in last night and tied a towel around myself. I plugged my iPhone into my speakers and put it on shuffle, allowing my music to surprise me. Avenged Sevenfold, “Seize the Day” started playing and I sang along; laughing to how fitting it was as I waited for the water to warm up. Knowing it could take a few minutes, I walked back into my bathroom and removed my makeup from the day before. I got into the shower, which was possibly the best I’ve had in a while, enjoying each second of it. I walked out into my room in my towel after brushing through my hair continuing to sing along to the tracks that played out of my speakers. I put my glasses on after I walked out, now being able to see and almost fell to the ground when I saw Mike sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Jesus Christ, Michael! You can’t do that!” I yelled at him once I caught my breath as he laughed at me.
“You weren’t answering your phone, I know where the spare key is, I was worried.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t any big deal.
“I was going to call you once I was dressed, but apparently I don’t need to now” I sighed.
“Nope, made a house visit. Seems as if I picked a good time too” He smirked.
“Michael” I said through clenched teeth.
“Ouch, full name. Got it, I’ll stop.” He nodded. “Ya know, I always said that yours and Vic’s voice went together perfectly”
“Do not make me use your full name Michael”
“I’m just saying.” He said raising both hands in defense.
“What do you want?” I snarled at him.
“I came to make sure you were okay. I know you Scarlett. You came back here and drank probably about twelve of the twenty four beers in the fridge”

“Sixteen actually” I corrected him as I turned around to get dressed.
“Jesus fuck Scar. The fuck for?”
“Are you serious?! You told me Vic was at the studio and would be all night. How else did you expect me to react?!”
“I didn’t think you come home and drown yourself in miller lite that’s what. I at least expected Jack Daniels” he added with a laugh.
“There wasn’t any, I looked for that first.” I said with a small laugh.
‘Yeah Boy and Doll Face’ started playing as Mike went to say something, I held up my finger signaling him that he had to wait for the song to be over. No matter what was going on with Vic and I, whatever I was doing I stopped to listen to this song.
“He still cares about you Letty” Mike said quietly as I searched through my closet for clothes.
I sighed knowing this is why he came over, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell everyone not to call me that anymore.”
“Why Scarlett? What was so bad about you leaving on your own free will, against what everyone said to you about doing it? What fucking changed Scarlett Olivia?”
“A lot changed in seven years Michael.” I said through gritted teeth.
“What could have possibly changed to make you hate that name so much Scarlett? What happened to you out there?”
"I don’t want to talk about it Mike. But I’ll tell you that the fun, exciting, personable ‘Letty’ no longer exists”
“What the hell happened to you Scar?”
“A lot, Mike. A lot that still fucking hurts. I’m coping with what happened during the time I was gone better than the three years of an emotional roller coaster I was on while I was here with him of not knowing what the fuck he wanted” I snapped.
“And seven wasn’t enough to figure out your own?” Mike questioned, “You’re the one who came back Scarlett, no one forced you to. You obviously wanted to come back here if you wanted to surprise us all. Well guess what, we’re all dying to know the sudden reason for you coming back without a warning since not giving warning is what you do best!” He yelled.
I acted on instinct, on the verge of a flashback and panic attack and punched him in the face.

“I know you’ve got low blows to give out Mike but that was low, even for you!” I yelled at him, “And for your fucking information, I wasn’t expecting some kind of welcome home committee. I wanted the opposite! I wanted to fly under the radar until I was ready to face everything with a strong enough mind! And let’s be serious, has he figured out his yet?” I snapped throwing my towel at the floor. “Honestly Mike, if he wasn’t able to figure it out in the three years that him and I were doing whatever it was we were doing, I doubt he’s figured it out in the seven I was gone. He probably forgot I even existed until he walked into the house last night when he was the only god damn person I thought about every fucking night while I was gone. He was the only person I could think of when I was cowered in the corner from my drunken abusive boyfriend thinking how Vic would never do that to me and how disappointed he would be in me for letting myself get into that situation. The thought of him made all the hell I was going through feel okay, that I would feel okay. Every time I ended up in the hospital because that jackass had beaten me into unconsciousness, or when I overdosed, he was the one I saw, telling me to hold on. That it was worth it. That it would always be worth it to keep fighting because he would be there when I woke up. But you know what Mike? He never was because he didn’t know. He never tried to call me, or email me or text me after I left. I never heard from him. And I thought I never would. I thought that day I left him was the last I would ever hear or see from him. And I knew by coming back here to San Diego, I ran the risk of seeing him. But I knew I could delay it. I’m good at that. And I am fantastic as making people think everything is under control when really it’s spiraling out of hand. I’m a mess, Mike. And that’s why I came home.” I was sobbing at this point unable to handle the fact that I had just told Mike everything that had gone wrong while I was gone for seven years. His face was still in shock and I was shaking from the anxiety attack that was just waiting for the right moment. I felt my body start to tense up, unable to move my fingers or hands from the position they were locked into, my breathing had rapidly increased to the point of hyper ventilating and my vision was starting to get blurry. I tried to tell Mike I was only having an anxiety attack and that I’d be fine in a few minutes but everything went black before I had the chance.

Notes

So, I'm not sure if you guys have realized but I'm still trying to figure out how this formatting works for here so bear with me please. Everytime I try to go back and edit the previous chapters my computer freezes so please bear with me on this.

Thanks for all the love guys!