You'd Better Hide the Bullets

I stared at the blank walls in front of me, the pain in my head becoming unbearable. I got released from the hospital about an hour ago and I wasn't allowed to leave the house. My mom flipped her shit the second we got into the house. For a minute I genuinely feared for my life and then I found it completely ironic. I tried to kill myself yesterday and I feel nothing about it. No remorse or no guilt, n o t h i n g.

I stared at my phone, scared of what to do. Should I go back to normal? Pretend it didn't happen? Is that even possible? I don't think so. You don't just forget a moment of weakness like that.

My phone began ringing, Vic's name flashed on the screen. My dad told me that if he found out that I spoke to Vic that he would take everything away from me. Who needs stuff though. I clicked accept and put the phone to my ear. "Scarlett!" He said frantically.

"Yeah?" I replied, picking at the bed sheets in front of me.

"You're home, are you okay?" He sounded more calm now.

"Yeah, I'm as good as I could be right now." I said softly, throwing myself backwards onto my bed.

"I'm not allowed anywhere near you Scar." He sounded so broken when he said it.

"I know, my dad threatened to get a restraining order taken out on you if you come anywhere near me." I explained. I heard him let out a frustrated groan.

"Why is your dad believing that asshole." He said angrily. I scrunched my face up, who is he talking about?

"Believing who?" I asked.

"Your asshole therapist!" He snapped at me.

"What?" I probably sounded so dumb right now but I've got no idea what he's talking about.

"He told your dad that it's my fault you've been acting out recently, that you've changed because of me." Vic told me. He isn't all that wrong though.

"Vic, he's kinda right though." I sighed, knowing this would cause a huge argument.

"What do you mean Scarlett?" He asked, sounding so hurt.

"Well, I've became more like you. Careless and detached from everything." I said softly.

"Oh, my mistake then." He said sounding distant and then hung up the phone. I stared at my phone and then threw it down on my bed in frustration.

No, he's not doing this to me. I got up off my bed and marched down the stairs. My mom came out the living room and stared at me. "Where do you think you're going?" She asked, hands on her hips.

I turned to her and gave her a hard look. "I'm going to sort things with my boyfriend, the person whom you're all trying to blame for the fact that I'm just a crazy person." I snapped at her. She looked hurt at my attitude. "What I find really funny is that you have the nerve to seriously think it's his fault I tried to kill myself when you all can't just face the fact that I've been mentally unstable for about 5 years now. Grow up and realise that it's just in my DNA." I shook my head, opened the door and slammed it shut again.

I walked over to Vic's house and knocked of the door. His mom answered and looked at me with sadness all over her face. "Scarlett, how are you?" She asked, letting me into the house.

"I'm breathing and that's basically the only positive thing." I said softly. She just smiled sympathetically and nodded towards Vic's room.

I climbed up the stairs and walked into his room. He was lying in his bed, his back to me. I didn't say a word, just took my shoes off and climbed into his bed and wrapped my arms around his waist. "A world without you wouldn't be a world worth living." Vic mumbled, lacing his fingers with mine.

"You did fine without me for almost 18 years." I whispered, fearing that my voice would break.

"I didn't know what happiness was until I met you, I never really smiled until I saw you smile, or really laughed until I heard you laugh." He said in a soft, tired sounding voice.

"I would do anything to be the girl you need, to be okay again. But I'm not. I'm not okay. I'll probably never really be okay. I have an illness that will never go away, Vic." I felt my voice begin to crack. "How could you love someone who is so unstable and unsure of themselves?" I let out a small sob.

Vic let go of my hands and turned to face me. "When I realised what you'd done to yourself last night, I felt my whole world crashing down. At first I thought you were so selfish. How could you do that to me, how could you leave me like that." His voice was so full of emotion. "But then it hit me, since day one I've known you're different, you're unique and special. We fight like we hate each other and make love like there is no tomorrow. I think you're the single, most beautiful creature in the universe and I would rather not live a life if it was without you, cause without you there is no me." He mumbled, brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

And that was the moment my heart broke. The tears began flowing, they just wouldn't stop actually. I sobbed and sobbed into Vic's chest and I could feel Vic's tears soaking my hair. It was cute yet horrific. We were a mess. "I do-don't wan-na d-d-die." I choked out. Vic just squeezed me tighter.

Vic pulled back and looked into my eyes. "Don't ever leave me or try to leave me again." He said sternly. I didn't even say anything, I just attached my lips onto his, silencing him. He was stiff at first but then reacted, kissing me back forcefully. It was so demanding.

I pushed Vic back onto the pillow and climbed on top of him, straddling his sides, his hands attached themselves to my hips. I used one hand to hold myself up and the other slipped to the back of Vic's neck, making sure he was constantly close to me.

His tongue fought against mines, making me smile a little. I always loved the feeling that even though we ended up together that we still need to feel like one of us is the winner. Usually it's me but Vic does put up a good fight. I bit his lip, letting go of him and sitting up on his stomach. He stared up and me, eyes full of lust and love.

I just stared back at him, a small smirk on my lips. He leaned up on his elbow and wrapped the other around my waist and in one swift move, he pushed me down on to the bed and he was on top. "I always come out on top." He grinned down at me.

"Mm, I love it when you talk dirty to me." I moaned, which made him laugh. I joined him and he kissed me again. This time much slower and passionate. I wrapped my arms around his neck and legs around his waist. He trailed kisses down my jawline and onto my neck, making my knees go weak. He knew exactly what to do to me to get me going.

Within minutes we were both naked, bodies intertwined. I loved the feeling of my skin against Vic's, it just felt right. I felt Vic push himself inside of me, the feeling was like no other. I felt alive, like really alive. I can't believe I wanted to end my life. A moan escaped my lips and I noticed Vic grinning as it did. He always done it, like he was so proud of himself for giving me such a pleasure, I guess it's a guy thing.

Our bodies moved against each other, creating pleasure and friction. I couldn't help myself from moaning every time Vic entered me deeper, as much as it saddens me because of how much experience he as with girls, it makes me happy because he knows exactly how to please me.

I pushed Vic over so that I was on top of him, he stared up at me, admiration and love written all over his face. It made my heart melt and it reminded me that it's moments like this that I should have to remind me why I'm on this planet. I slowly leaned down and kissed him slowly. He held onto my hips, and thrusted into me. It sent me over the edge, and I'm guessing him too. He let out a groan and leaned his forehead against mine. My breathing quickened and so did his, I looked into his eyes, waiting for it. I wanted to see him, I wanted a reminder of why I stayed on this planet.

The orgasm came seconds later and so did Vic. He kissed me quickly and pulled me down, closer to his body. It was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. It was beautiful and meaningful.

I slid off of Vic's body and laid beside him, we both looked at each other and began laughing. "That escalated quickly." He breathed heavily.

"The best times are always spontaneous like that." I grinned at him, my breathing finally calming down.

"You're amazing." He said seriously. I could feel myself blushing. He ran his hand down my cheek and cupped it, pulling my lips to his.

-

I walked back into my house, the biggest smile I've ever had planted upon my lips. "Scarlett, come in here a second." I heard my mom call out from the living room.

I walked into it and noticed there were two guys in there with my parents. "What's going on?" I asked, looking at the guys suspiciously.

"Scarlett sit down." My father said sternly. I looked at him and then done as he asked.

"Scarlett, we've been talking and have decided after the incident last night that it'd be best if you spent some time in the San Diego psychiatric hospital." My mom said looking totally guilty. She couldn't look me in the eyes.

"What? Why?" I scrunched up my face, disgusted by the idea.

"You're bipolar Scarlett. We don't have the resources to deal with it right now. What's best is if you spend some time controlling it in the institution." My dad tried to sound reasonable.

"I can't believe you guys, I don't need to be sent back to a hospital." I got up and began walking out of the room but was stopped when one of the guys grabbed onto my arm. "Let go of me!" I demanded.

"Scarlett, you have to be calm." My mom told me.

"Be calm? How can I be calm about this!?" I shouted at her, trying to yank my arm out of his grip. "This isn't right, you can't do this to me!" I yelled at them.

"You're not 18 yet, so we can." My dad said, standing up. "We'll visit you tomorrow Scarlett. Just be brave, calm and try to focus on getting better." My father kissed me on the forehead and then walked out.

The other guy took me by the arm and they both began leading me towards the front door. I noticed Kiera standing on the stairs, crying her eyes out. "It's gonna be okay Kiera, I'll be okay." I began crying at the sight of her. I was led outside and over to a car with the back windows tinted.

"Don't worry too much Scarlett, you'll be better soon." One of them said to me as I slid into the car, tears streaming down my face. They got in the car and started the ignition, as we pulled out of the driveway, I looked over to Vic's house, my heart breaking and tears spilling down my face.

Notes

Ahhhhh I'm so mad at myself