You'd Better Hide the Bullets

I sat on my new bed, the strong smell of disinfectant. The white walls that surrounded me were blinding to look at at. I never thought I'd end up in here again but here I am. It feels like a prison for your mind. Physically I'm let off quite lightly, I can call people whenever I want, have as many visitors as I want and I can roam free. The only real boundaries I have is that I'm not allowed to leave the premises without permission from my parents.

The saddest thing about this is that I've been stuck in here for two days now and I haven't seen another person, other than the staff who work here. Mostly I just wanted to avoid everyone else in here because I don't think I'm crazy.

The door of my room opened and a nurse walked in. "Hello Scarlett, how are you this morning?" She asked in the most cheery tone I've ever heard. How anyone could work in this place and have a small shred of happiness in them is beyond me.

"Really? You're going to ask me that?" I scrunched up my face, angry and just confused at the whole situation.

"Oh don't be a Debbie Downer." She said playfully and rolled her eyes. "I think you should come to the rec room and try and make some friends." She suggested.

"I have friends and they have no idea that I'm in here, I need to contact them but my parents are refusing to even give me a single one of their phone numbers." I shot back.

"Suit yourself." She shrugged and walked out of my room.

It couldn't hurt to try could it? I rolled my eyes and stood up off my bed. The clothing in here made me feel uneasy. It was like pyjamas, white cotton long sleeves and long trousers. At least they don't make us wear crocs, I think then I would have just spontaneously combusted.

I walked out of my room and down the hallway to where the rec room was, as I walked through the door I noticed people, doing God knows what. Some were watching TV. Others were drawing, or writing. My eyes scanned the room and I noticed the guy from the other day, Oli I think his name is. He was sitting at a table alone, like before. I walked over and sat down in front of him. He looked up and gazed at me, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "How does someone go from visiting to institutionalised within a couple of days?" He asked with amusement in his voice.

"You're asking the girl who managed to saunter right into a mental hospital without anyone realising she wasn't meant to be there why she is now suddenly a patient in said institute?" I smirked, cocking my head to the side.

"Feisty one." He smiled. "What happened?" He asked, turning more serious.

"Your words intrigued me, so I decided to give it a go for myself." I frowned, he mirrored my facial expression.

"And what did it feel like?" He questioned.

"Nothing, I felt nothing. There's nothing there. When you die the only kingdom you see is 2 ft wide and 6 ft deep." I mumbled, looking away.

"Grim." He sighed. I looked back at him and shrugged casually.

"I don't want to die anymore though, but hey try telling me parents that. They'd rather funnel $50,000 a year into this place than actually deal with their bipolar daughter. I actually should have seen this coming, they sent my sister away to live on her college campus the minute they realised she was a bitch." I ranted, feeling so angry.

"Your parents seem lovely, when can I meet them?" He asked sarcastically.

"The day I get outta here, is the day that I'll be leaving them behind. Too many times have they done this to me." I slammed my hands down on the table. A few people looked at me and I sank back into my seat. "So why are you in here. You're from the UK right?" I asked, curiously.

"I used to be in a band, we were on tour and I got addicted to drugs and tried to kill myself. Simple as that really." He just shrugged. That's when the cogs in my brain began turning.

"Oh my God, you're Oli Sykes!" My mouth hung open, shock all over my face. Oli just grinned, confirming my announcement.

"The one and only." He leaned back in his chair and grinned at me.

"I always wondered what happened to your band, I mean you guys weren't that big yet to have too many people notice the disappearance but still, it was weird." I frowned.

"Life happens like that." He smiled, for someone locked up in a mental institution he seems so happy.

"How long have you been here?" I asked, tracing lines on the table with my finger.

"Just over a year." He shrugged. I nodded, continuing to draw the lines.

"Why are you still in here?" I questioned.

"Honestly I can go at any minute really, my therapist told me that he thinks I'm better off here though. If I go back to England things will get tricky again, and I might end up well, dead" He said simply, not even showing one shred of emotion. "Until I feel I'm ready, I'm staying right here." He sighed.

"How can you afford this though?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I'm not poor." He smiled. I nodded and looked away. At least I was making a friend.

-

I watched Kiera and Patrick walk into the visitors room. My eyes widened and I ran over to them. I threw my arms around them both and hugged them tightly. "I can't believe you guys are here." I sobbed, crying hard.

Kiera held onto me tightly. "Scarlett, everything is a mess." She mumbled to me.

We walked over to an empty table and sat down. "What's been happening? What have I missed?" I asked them, curious.

Patrick had a sad look on his face. "Vic doesn't know yet." He said softly. My eyes widened.

"You haven't told him?" I frowned.

"Kiera showed up at my door an hour ago begging me to take her to see you. I didn't even know until she came." Patrick explained, fixing his hat and then glasses.

"It's okay, I brought you his phone number." Kiera smiled weakly and slid a piece of paper across the table.

"You're the best human being on this planet." I almost squealed and kissed her hear.

"I know I'm perfect but mom and dad are freaking out." She sighed. "I hate it there." She looked so broken.

"I'm so sorry you've been subjected to this shit." I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"I haven't even got Ali to keep me company anymore. I'm so lonely." She wiped away a tear that was building in her eye.

"I will try and get out of here as soon as possible. I'm not crazy." I shook my head, not believing it for a second.

"Once you turn 18 you can choose to leave." Patrick pointed out. "Unless they believe you're a real danger to yourself then you're allowed to leave." He explained.

"I'm 18 in 3 weeks time." I grinned.

"Hold on till May then." Kiera said to me, a promising look in her eyes.

-

I walked over to the phone booths and sat down. This is the moment where I'm going to break the news to my boyfriend. I picked up the receiver and dialled the number on the paper that Kiera gave me. It began ringing until the call connected. "Hello?" Vic's sweet voice asked.

"I'm so sorry Vic." I said softly.

"Scarlett? Oh my God, where are you?" He asked frantically.

"When I went home the other night my parents were waiting for me. They sent me to San Diego psychiatric hospital to stay. I don't know how long I'm gonna be here." I explained.

"They did what?!?!?" He shouted down the phone. "How could they do that?" He asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry Vic, there's nothing I can do." I choked on my own tears.

"Can I visit you?" He asked.

"No, my parents have made sure you're not allowed into the building." I sighed. I heard him groaning loudly.

"Your parents are assholes you know that." Vic sighed.

"I know, I hate them." I sobbed a little, holding back the tears was killing me.

"Scarlett, I'm gonna do what I can to see you okay, I promise." He breathes heavily.

"I love you Vic." I told him.

"I love you too Scarlett, so much." He replied, voice sounding so emotional.

"I've got to go okay, I love you so much and I'll try and speak to you again soon." I said quickly and hung the phone up, tears well and truly streaming down my face at this point. This place will be the death of me.

Notes

Getting close to the finale