I Introduce The Selfish Machine

I felt a shiver go down my spine with Tony asked me that. With the shiver, came tears. A lot of tears.
Stop it, Piper. Stop crying. Don't be weak.
"Tony, I have never told anybody this, okay? I-I couldn't." I said.
Tony wrapped me in his arms. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me."
I choked on my tears. "No, I'm going to tell you."
Then I began to tell Tony about the worst day of my life. "I was fourteen..."

"Bye, dad." I said, hugging my dad in the airport. I felt his big hand rest on my back. Leanna stood next to me, crying her eyes out. We were all super nervous about this, but it had to happen. After the 9/11 attacks, they needed troops to go defend our country.
Dad walked over to Leanna and patted her head. He was taller than my mom, Leanna, and I, but somehow, all the girls were short.
"I'm going to be back, Leanna. Don't worry." Dad said as he wrapped his arms around her for a hug.
"You're going to write us, right Daddy?" Leanna was sixteen and still called our dad daddy.
"Any time I can, I will baby girl." Dad pulled away from the hug and placed a necklace around Leanna's neck. She tugged on it and cried. I didn't want dad to leave either, but sheesh. Dad hugged mom tight, and I saw mom trying to fight back the tears. She didn't want to show Leanna that she was upset too, or Leanna would cry even more. He kissed my mom on the forehead and placed something in her hand. I didn't see what it was, but then again, I wasn't looking.
Dad walked over to me and smiled. "I always wanted a son, but then you came along and proved how much cooler a tom-boy daughter can be." He said.
I laughed. "Thanks, Dad."
He reached in his pocked until he found a charm bracelet. "Now, I know you don't like jewelry, but I saw this and thought of you." He placed the bracelet around my wrist. It had five charms on it, a star, a piece of pizza, a football, a number 14, and a little cat. "Since I'll probably miss your fourteenth birthday, I put that charm on it. But, I promise, when I get home, we're going to watch all the Star Wars movies, eat pizza, and then when we're done, watch football."
"What's the cat for?" I asked.
My dad shrugged. "I thought it was cute."
I laughed and hugged my dad again.
"I love you, Piper Lynn."
"I love you too, Daddy."

It was January 19th, 2002. My birthday was a mere five days before that awful date. I was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching Star Wars when the doorbell rang. I groaned. I didn't want to get up and answer it.
"Moooooom." I shouted. I heard footsteps run down the stairs.
"Piper Lynn, you could've got the door."
I shrugged.
I heard the door open.
"Are you Karen Kristianson?" A deep voice said.
"Yes, I am."
"May I come in?"
"Um, yes, please come in."
I heard heavy boots against the hardwood floor. I turned around to see another solider standing in our house. My heart dropped.
"What's wrong, Mom?" I asked.
"I don't know, sweetheart."
The solider looked at me. "Are you one of Sergeant Kristianson's daughters?"
My mom nodded. "The youngest, Piper Lynn."
The solider waved me over. "Mrs. Kristianson, Piper Lynn. I'm afraid I have some very bad news." My mom clenched on to me, holding me very close to her side. I pulled at the charm bracelet, feeling the ridges of the star. "I'm sorry to tell you that Sergeant Christofer Kristianson was shot in the line of duty two days ago. The nurses and the doctors did all they could, but I'm afraid it wasn't even. Sergeant Kristianson passed away this morning. I'm very sorry for you loss."
Then, I just stood there, starting at the solider. The solider who told me my dad was dead! The only father I will ever have, is gone. My mom had her hand over her mouth, and she was crying. I stood there and felt something weird go on inside me. I couldn't cry. I just couldn't. I couldn't allow myself to feel the pain of my dad passing.
A few days later, I sat at my father's funeral.
"Christofer was a great man. He was the father of my children, the love of my life. I can't-" My mom couldn't finish. She broke down crying and fell to her knees. Leanna ran up to her and held my mother in her arms. I watched them cry together. And I just sat there, watching my mother and sister cry. People thought I was heartless because I wouldn't even shed a tear, but the thing was, I was hurting so much that I couldn't cry. Crying wouldn't help me. So I bottled it all up and put it away. My last words to my father were I love you, Daddy. The last real I love you. No love can every compare to the love I had for my father. And now, he's gone. And I can never love again.

Notes