As I couldn't fall asleep, I just laid there on the backseat of Tony's car and stared out of the window into the darkness. The sun was going to come out soon, I realized, as it must've been almost six in the morning already. Tony was probably dead asleep, sleeping comfortably in our bed and not worrying about anything at all.

All of a sudden the front door of the car opened and I got scared shitless. My heart started racing but when I noticed it was Tony, I calmed down.

”You should've locked the doors,” he told me quietly as he sat in and closed the door.

”Anybody could've come in, you really have to be more careful around here, babe,” he continued as I didn't say anything.

”If you don't have anything else to say then you might as well leave,” I muttered and crossed my arms over my chest.

”Okay, I'm sorry. I came to get you back inside. I was worried about you out here all alone,” he told me, ”Please, Abby, come in. I already told you how sorry I am for leaving you alone. I promise to make it up to you.”

”It's not just about that. I'm disappointed that we never spend time together anymore. I don't see our relationship working if we're never together. And what about the sex? Sex has always been a huge part of our relationship and now we never do it.”

”I wanted to last night but you didn't. And I'm pretty sure we did it this morning.”

”I'm not even talking about last night or this morning. I meant generally,” I muttered.

”So what do you want to do?” he asked me and I had to stop to think about it. What did I want?

”I want a good relationship. With you,” I whispered and looked straight into his eyes, ”I want to spend time with my boyfriend. I want to build a life together with you and I put my everything into this relationship. I wish you would do the same.”

”But I do put my everything into this. Okay, so, maybe I don't have as much time and effort to give as you do but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't give you everything I can,” he told me, ”You have to realize that my work – the band and everything that has something to do with it – comes first and that's the way it has always been. But I wish you would understand that you're really important to me. I love you, Abby, more than I've ever loved anybody. I do need you, don't doubt that.”

”Do you promise to try to give more time?” I whispered and pouted my lips. He flashed a smile.

”You're adorable, Abby, did you know that?”

”Do you promise or not?”

”Of course I promise you,” he nodded, ”I will do anything to make you happy.”

”Thank you. You have no idea how much those words mean to me,” I said quietly.

”So... Will you now come back in?” he asked with a grin, ”Or do you still want to sleep here, in the car?”

”This was starting to get comfortable,” I joked and sat up.

I opened the door and grabbed my pillow before heading out of the car. As soon as we were out, I handed the keys to Tony who locked the doors and pulled me into his arms in one swift move. I buried my face into his shirt and took a deep breath in and realized that I belonged there. My spot was right there, in his arms.

We went back inside and when I got back in bed, I realized how tired I really was. As soon as I was safe in my boyfriend's arms and my cheek was resting against my pillow, I drifted into sleep and didn't wake up until after twelve.

When my eyes fluttered open, I looked to my side and noticed that Tony wasn't in bed anymore. I furrowed my eyebrows and thought that he had left already when suddenly he appeared in the doorway in nothing but... Ah, well, he was completely naked as his towel fell to the floor.

”Whoops,” he mumbled but didn't bother lifting it up and covering himself.

And my god, I just couldn't take my eyes off his naked body. He just looked so good. I had to rub my eyes and heard him laugh. He sat down on the bed and pulled the blanket away from me. Then he leaned closer to me and pulled me into a kiss.

”Good morning,” he murmured into my mouth and I grinned like an idiot. All of a sudden he was laying on top of me and kissing me roughly. I grabbed his naked butt and he groaned against my lips.

”Come on, we don't have time for this,” he said and suddenly pulled away from me. I ruffled my hair
and watched as he went to the closet (actually we just had a bunch of boxes full of our clothes because we had been too lazy to unpack our stuff) and started pulling his boxers on.

”Why don't we have time for that?” I asked him.

”We're going out. For lunch,” he told me, ”In half an hour.”

”Really? You're taking me somewhere?” I asked and started smiling.

”Of course I'm taking you somewhere. I'm trying to make up last night,” he told me, ”Now, get up, woman.”

Half an hour later we were walking down the street, hand in hand in the sunshine with our sunglasses on and with big smiles on our faces. Well, at least I was smiling, I wasn't sure about Tony. But the point was, we were out in public, together, as a couple and that was awesome.

All of a sudden a group of girls appeared out of nowhere and started screaming. I panicked and held on to Tony's hand more tightly and when I looked at him, I saw nothing but a big, relaxed smile on his face. Did he not realize that something was going on, that we were possibly being attacked by screaming women?

Everybody was suddenly taking photos of us – no, wait, they were taking photos of Tony, not us. Tony let go of my hand and I was pushed back by everyone as they tried to have their photo taken with Tony. I narrowed my eyes and realized just what was going on. They were fans, I realized, they weren't attacking us. They just wanted to get into the same picture with Tony and maybe have something signed by him. One of the girls was pulling down her shirt, revealing her chest and asked Tony to sign it and he did it. My god, it was all happening so fast that I didn't even realize when it was over and Tony was walking to me. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me into the nearest restaurant.

”Were you scared?” he asked me with a grin as soon as we had sat down.

”Shitless,” I admitted and sighed, ”I had no idea what was going on. Nobody in Miami did that to you, did they?”

”No,” he shook his head, ”Nobody expects to see me or the guys there. But here it's different, everybody knows we live here.”

”Oh my god. Does that always happen?”

”No,” he laughed, ”We're not big stars or anything. But, hey, I don't want the time we spend together to be about anybody else but you and me.”

”That's alright with me,” I said with a grin but just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened.

After having lunch with my boyfriend, we headed back to our house. As we walked in, we were greeted by the massive amount of brown boxes full of stuff. Full of our old things and the stuff we had bought the previous day.

”We should probably unpack,” I told him, ”And turn this house into a home.”

”Should we? Don't you like living this way, huh?” he murmured and pulled me tightly against his side before kissing the top of my head.

”Eh, no,” I admitted. Tony just laughed.

While unpacking the boxes and setting stuff on shelves and putting clothes into the closet, I did a lot of thinking. The summer had come to its end, almost, at least, and so much had changed. Three months earlier Tony had been dating somebody else and now he lived with me in our own house. So much had changed and I was afraid that I would soon realize that I didn't like the change. I enjoyed spending summers with him and even though I was in love with him, what if I didn't enjoy spending my whole life with him?

And all of a sudden a conversation I had once had with Vic came to my mind. He had warned me about Tony. He had told me that Tony was different when he was on tour with the band and surely he would be leaving for tour soon. What if he hooked up with girls and had sex with them, even if it was nothing but meaningless? And what if he didn't tell me about it but everybody else would know? Oh my god. I swallowed hard and started to panic.

I accidentally let a wine glass slip from my hand and it fell to the floor and shattered into millions of little pieces. I flinched and quickly bent down to pick up the pieces of the broken glass.

”Abby? What happened?” The sound of Tony's voice coming from the doorway scared me and I gasped. I looked up at him.

”I accidentally dropped one of the glasses,” I mumbled and furrowed my eyebrows.

”How? I didn't know you were clumsy,” he said and laughed.

”I'm not...”

”Is everything okay?” he asked and narrowed his eyes as he looked at me.

”Yeah, I just...” I sighed but then shook my head, ”I got scared.”

”Scared of what? Abby?”

”Scared of what will happen when you leave for tour,” I admitted and just looked at him for a moment. I watched as his face fell and he furrowed his eyebrows.

”What's that supposed to mean?” he asked quietly.

”I don't know... I just feel a bit insecure now,” I mumbled with a deep sigh.

”Why? Do you think I would do something to hurt you?” he asked, sounding offended.

”I really don't know, okay?”

”We're building a home together, Abby. I love you. I don't want you to feel like I don't. I don't
want you to doubt my feelings for you,” he told me.

”I know,” I said, ”I'm sorry, I freaked out. I don't know what got into me.”

But the truth was that I knew exactly what had gotten into me. I felt really insecure and was afraid that my now faithful boyfriend would turn into somebody unfaithful once I wasn't around. In other words, I apparently did not trust him and trying to build a home with somebody I didn't trust was not easy. At the same time, I was homesick and knew I had some very big decisions to make before it was too late.