Queen For A Day

VICS POV
“I’m pregnant Vic.. It’s yours.”
No. No no no. this cannot be happening. What the hell.
I felt faint. She couldn’t be pregnant!
“W-hat?” My voice was barely a whisper, “No.. no you cant be..”
“I’m sorry Vic,” Cali was crying. But what was I supposed to do?! She was pregnant. Pregnant. With MY child!
“How!? What the hell! This can’t be happening!” For some reason my shock came out as anger. I ran my hands through my long hair as the thoughts flew through my head. “I-I cant do this!” I stood up abruptly and rushed away, not bothering to look back at her.
Shit I still don’t even like her that much. Sure my initial assumptions about her weren’t completely true and they were slightly unfair, she was still an annoying fan. A small unreasonable part of me bitterly thought she’d planned the whole thing, but I pushed that aside angrily. As if I could think something like that. I’m sure she’s not happy about this either. It was a one night stand for fucks sake! We were both drunk!
I suddenly realised that I’d lost my way as I’d been thinking and walking. I was at a large lake in the middle of a park. I saw a small stone bench and I dropped down onto it, putting my head in my hands.
What was I supposed to do now? I got a girl I barely know, and don’t like pregnant. She’d have to live with this forever now. If she’s keeping it, that is. Hell, I’m going to have to live with this as well. I got her into this mess..
I felt something wet drip onto my hand and realised I was crying. Ugh. Fuck this.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, thoughts of the past and future swimming through the ocean of my mind. I mostly thought about what was going to happen. Will she need me to help her through the pregnancy? What even do I have to do to help though? What about when it’s born? Will we have a shared custody? Will she want us to live together?! Hell, I hope not. I still don’t like her. She’d probably be annoying to live with.
I sat up in bed and groaned. I need to sleep. I pushed myself out of the blankets and wandered to the bathroom medicine cupboard. Shit why do I have no more sleeping pills?!
I slammed the mirrored door closed and stared at my appearance. I’m not ready to be a Dad, sure I’m 30, that’s older than a lot of parents.. but I don’t think I can do it. I’m not even good with kids! It’ll probably hate me.
I flicked the light off before my brain made up any more stupid assumptions and walked to my living room, picking my favourite acoustic guitar off it’s stand. And I started playing. And I played all night.

At 8 o’clock I decided I was hungry so I put the instrument back and made myself a piece of toast and a coffee. I ate as I thought, as if I hadn’t done enough thinking already. Hah.
Ugh I can’t let Cali go through this alone.. I helped her make that baby, it’s my responsibility. She’s my responsibility.
I suddenly made up my mind. I gulped down what was left of my coffee and rushed pulled my beanie further down over my ears, grabbing my keys. I rushed to my car and drove off before I could think twice about it. It didn’t take too long to reach her house thankfully, I think I broke all the speed limits though. I screeched to a stop outside her apartment building and parked, probably illegally, I didn’t even have the chance to look. The ride up to the 4th floor in the elevator was hell. The thing didn’t move fast enough! The door finally dinged open and I ran down to her door, knocking on it quickly. I tapped my foot nervously until the door opened to reveal a makeup-less Cali. She raised her eyebrow and tightened her lips when she realized that I was the one knocking on her door at 9 o’clock in the morning.
“Victor,” She didn’t sound happy to see me. I don’t blame her. Her eyes glanced up and down my body, but I didn’t care how I looked. I just needed to talk to her.
“Can I come in?” I sighed.
“Sure,” She sounded suspicious as she stepped back and let me into her apartment. The last time I’d been here I’d left without saying goodbye. Last time I’d been her I’d gotten her pregnant. Part of me wished I’d never been here. At least then I wouldn’t have a kid with a chick I still don’t like.
“Cali do you mind if I have a shower?” A male voice rung out from her bedroom. The bedroom I knew all too well. Wait.. was that Mike!?
Cali froze and cringed lightly.
“Is my brother here?!” I yelled at the girl. Oh now she’d done it. I walk away from her once and she turns to my brother of all people! I would’ve been mad enough if it was a stranger! But my brother!?
Mike appeared in her bedroom door, topless, staring straight at me, “What the fuck?!”
“What the hell is going on here? Have you been sleeping with him!?” I turned to Cali, shocked at what was being unveiled before my eyes. How could she! She’s already pregnant with his niece or nephew, that’s just fucked up.
“You’re such a-“ the words left my lips without warning, but I managed to stop myself before I ruined this anymore. The colour drained from her face and she stepped back, staring at her feet.
“Such a what Vic?” She whispered, refusing to look at me. Fuck. I’d already said enough without telling her what I was thinking.
“You asshole, I haven’t slept with her! I’ve just been here for her when you haven’t!” Mike yelling, rushing straight up into my face, obviously feeling very protective of Cali.
“You would’ve reacted the same if you found out you were going to be a Dad!” I whispered, feeling horrible about what I’d done.
“I’m sorry,” Cali’s small voice cracked.
We turned to look at her and Mike stepped forward to hug her. “Cali, you don’t need to be,”
She shoved his arms away and stared straight into my eyes, no emotion showing on her face. “No, wait. It’s all my fault. I’m so so sorry Vic, I never meant for any of this to happen. You don’t have to do anything. I can do this without you. You can walk out right now and I will understand completely. I don’t need you.” Her voice broke my heart as I stared straight into her beautiful eyes that were clouded with tears.
This could be my out. She’s giving me the option to leave. If I left now I’d never hear from her again, I wouldn’t have to look after this kid, I could pretend it never happened. But I’d always know. I could never forget about this. Still….
I couldn’t help my flick my eyes to the door.
“It’s ok Vic,” She was about to cry. She must’ve seen me look at the door.
Before Mike and I could register it, Cali ran to her bedroom and slammed the door closed.
“You’re such an idiot Vic! She needs you! You got her into this, you need to help her through it. I know you came here for a reason,” Mike’s voice was gentler than I expected.
“I know, I’ve fucked up haven’t I? I came to tell her I want to be here for her,” I admitted.
“Then go to her Man, she needs you, she really does.” Mike patted me on the back and I stared intently at her bedroom door.
I need to be with her right now, despite everything. I crept to the door and creaked it open just enough to let myself in. Cali was lying on her side, facing away from me and crying into a pillow. I felt so bad. I sat down beside her and touched her back lightly.
“Why is this happening to me?” She cried out. I didn’t know what to do, so I started to rub slow circles up and down her back. I could feel her relaxing with my gentle touch.
“I should be sorry Cali,” I admitted. Her body tensed up again and she sat up, revealing her tear stained face and red eyes.
“Vic.. I- I thought you left,” she appeared surprised to see me.
“Look, thing’s aren’t ideal, but this is also my fault.. I can’t let you go through this alone,” I shrugged lightly, staring at her, trying to show how serious I was.
She took in what I said then pulled me into a hug. I held her tightly for a few seconds before she pulled away from me.
“I should be the one apologizing though Cali,” I told her, “I didn’t have to go dance with you that night, or I could’ve just stopped kissing you when I realized where it was going or I could’ve-“ She put her finger to my lips to silence me.
“Shh, stop. We both got into this together ok? If you’re honestly willing to go through it with me then I won’t protest. But how about we agree not to apologize anymore?” She raised her eyebrow at me.
“Ok, that’s fair enough,” I was just happy he accepted my apology. “So how are you with everything?” I looked down at her stomach that was holding our baby.
“I’m ok, baby’s been making me a little sick but that’s all. I have an ultrasound in a few weeks, wait, aren’t you going on tour?” shit. I’d forgotten about that.
“Yeah, for three months, we leave this Tuesday,”
“Oh,”
Fuck this is going to be hard.
“Sorry Cali, this has sorta just come at a bad time,” I smiled sympathetically, knowing there was nothing either of us could do about our situation.
“No shit, I think we could all do without this,” she laughed gently.
“Hey, don’t say that about our baby!” I grinned at her.
“Oh man, Vic were going to be parents. I’m going to be a Mum.” She put her small hand to her forehead as if it were a lot to comprehend. I understood her completely. I put my arm around her shoulder to comfort her.
“Well I always imagined I’d have kids, just, not like this..” I trailed off.
“Yeah, same here. But I guess this is just how it’s happened.” She leaned onto my shoulder. It was nice. This was probably the most conversation we’d ever had together. I don’t even think we’d talked this much the night we’d slept together. Things were weird between us.. I wanted to like her and sometimes I think we could be friends, but there was still something awkward between us that showed our incompatibility. Maybe we’d just have to work around it.

Notes