A War in My Head

I sat on a swing in the middle of the play park where I had been for the past three hours, ever since the sun went down. My feet scuffed off the dirt on the ground, a bottle of whiskey in my hand that I stole from my dad's liquor cabinet. If I get caught now then I'll be in so much trouble but I genuinely couldn't care less anymore. I just couldn't help feeling sorry for myself. Why did I feel sorry for myself though? Because Vic had began ignoring me. And for somet reason it kills me.

I swung higher, enjoying the feeling of being weightless. I was a walking disaster and loved every second of it. But the sad thing is, where do I go from here. How do I come back from this? If I even get that opportunity.

I took another swig of the whiskey, hoping it would sooth my pain but in actual fact it just burned down my throat. Making me feel weaker and sicker as the moments passed on. My head spun out of control and my heart raced. The sudden realisation of getting home hit me, I genuinely didn't know how I was going to get home. I began to panic. My breath hitched in my throat and I dropped the bottle, smashing it everywhere. "Shit" I mumbled to myself.

My feet led me away from the swings and out into the grass. I walked for about three feet then passed out.

----

"Lynn? Wake up" I felt someone shake me. I opened my eyes to see Tony and Jaime hovering above me.

I shot up and looked around, the alcohol still very present in my system. "Where am I?" I mumbled, very incoherently.

Tony and Jaime just looked at each other. "You're at the park" Jaime explained.

"I wanna go home" I cried.

"We don't know where home is" Tony said softly. I felt myself fall back into a blackness but I could still hear everything.

"We need to get her off the streets" Jaime said quietly. "If the cops come she will get in so much trouble" He said frantically.

"My mom would flip if we took her there" Tony groaned.

"Me too" Jaime sighed.

"Wait isn't Vic's parents outta town?" Tony said with questioning.

"He'll kill us" Jaime said softly.

"He'll kill us if we leave her here" Tony bargained. I felt myself being lifted off the ground. My body felt weightless again.

I blacked out again, only becoming slightly conscious when they reached Vic's house. "He'll be okay" Jaime prayed. A knock on the door was all I heard. Some shuffling and then the door swung open.

"No I don't wanna learn about Buddhism, come back at a normal-- oh what the fuck?" Vic turned from jokey to worried.

"We found her in the park like this, we don't know where her house is. This was our last resort, I'm sorry" Tony gushed.

I felt myself being taken into some heat, indicating that I was inside Vic's house. They left the room and began talking. My head began to spin and I felt myself sit up, eyes wide open and I looked around the room. I was in Vic's bedroom I presume. The door opened and Vic walked in, a strange look upon his face. "Here" He said handing me a glass of water.

I took it with shakey hands. The water felt nice going down my Jack Daniels burnt throat. "Thanks" I mumbled.

He walked over to the window and sighed. "What happened to you?" He looked back for a second.

I placed the glass on the nightstand and began sobbing. My breath got stuck in my throat and I couldn't breathe. "I wanna go home" I cried.

He walked over to me and kneeled in front of me. "Hey, don't cry. I can take you home but your parents aren't gonna be happy with the state you're in. Or you can stay here and I'll leave you alone. You can have my bed, and in the morning I'll drive you home and that's it. Never mentioned again" He said wiping my tears away.

"I'm sorry" I sobbed. "I'm so sorry" I cried out again. "I've ruined everything. It's all my fault" I couldn't stop.

"What do you mean" He raised an eyebrow.

"It's been a week since my gig and everything is wrong. I feel alone. I hurt you and everything is fucked. We've only been friends for 3 weeks and I feel like you're so important to me, I've never hurt this much Vic. I would rather run away now than go back to school and not be your friend" I confessed. The tears were streaming down my face.

"It's okay. I overrated. I'm sorry too" He mumbled, Taking my hands in his. "Is that why you're in this state?" He asked. I just nodded my head, he looked at me with so much sorrow.

"I'm sorry" I muttered again.

"Please don't be sorry" He pulled me in for a hug. "I'll go get you some clothes to wear" He got up and went over to his closet. He pulled out a big shirt for me and handed it to me. I asked him to turn around with his back facing me so I could get changed, which he did politely.

"That's me done" I said softly. He turned around and nodded. I climbed into his bed and began drifting off to sleep when I realised he was leaving the room. "Vic?" I asked.

He turned around and looked at me from the doorframe. "Yeah?"

"Can you sing me to sleep?" I mumbled. He hesitated but walked over to the bed and laid down with me.

"Bury me in the bedroom where I can sing you to sleep all night" He sung peacefully. "Put me next to the open window, promise me a second time. Cause I don't wanna leave without you buried by my side, I'd rather kill the ones responsible for falling stars at night" He pushed the hair outta my face. "Cause they fall all around me the night can be deadly" I felt myself fall deeper into a sleep.

"I love you Vic" I mumbled before falling into a deep sleep.

Notes