Darling you'll be okay

It's been 3 months since tour ended. Things have gotten worse. School has got worse. My cutting is worse than ever. Everybody thinks I've stopped, little did they know. Iv stopped eating, I'm afraid to gain any weight.

I grab my scale. 101lbs, I've lost weight. I'm 5'7 which gives me a bmi of 15.8. Ugh I'm still fat. I put on my school uniform and grab my school bag. "Hey what about breakfast?" Vic called to me. "Uhm I'll buy something at school." My usual lie.

I quickly arrive at school just on time and make my way to class. The day flies in. When the bell rings to signal the end of the school day and the beginning of the holidays, I head to where the guys usually get me. They weren't there. Probably running late.

"hey slut!" I hear a too familiar voice scream. I turn round to see the preps. They look pissed. "Think you can get away?" One asks and kicks me on my stomach. "I've heard a rumor she's dying. Is it true? I really hope so." Another says and they all giggle and continue to punch and kick me.

Just when everything is beginning to slowly fade. I hear a car pull up. "what the fuck do you think your doing?" I hear Mike scream. They all look scared and run, how brave of them. By now the rest of the guys have came over.

"are you okay? We need to tell the school" vic says. You can tell he is really upset. "I'm okay. Don't tell the school, it makes it worse." a tear rolls down my cheek. "You can't just keep letting them away with this Amelia." Tony whispers and I pretend not to hear him.

We drive home and Vic makes spaghetti. It's usually my favourite but I've had lunch already today so I'll skip it. "Hey aren't you gonna eat?" Vic asks and I shake my head no. "You must be hungry though." He asks suspiciously. "I promise I'm not." A shout and storm away.

I'm going to end it all. I run to my room and slam the door behind me. I grab my razor and cut for the very last time. Not deep enough to kill. The pills can do that. I empty them into my hands and the door flies open. "Give me them right now!" Vic shouts attracting the attention of the other guys.

Vic wrestles me and grabs them off me passing them to Jaime and telling him to get rid of them. I lay on the floor in a sobbing mess as the guys hug me and tell me how much they love me. I know they really don't, who would.

I agree to speak to them about it in the morning, and apparently there's a great surprise for me tomorrow afternoon. They probably just feel bad.

Notes