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The Life and Lies of The How-To Manual

How to Feel Like You're Losing Everything

Jaime’s POV

It’s been two hours. Two very long, boring hours since we got to the hospital.

When we had gotten to the parking lot, I had stopped the car, basically not correcting the crooked parking before I hoped out. I think Vic jumped out the window while the vehicle was still moving because he was a good fifteen feet ahead of all of us. Mike was sprinting to keep up with his brother.

I mean, Vic might be short, but he’s one of the fastest runners. You say, “LOOK! A TACO!” and you might think he was in a marathon trying to get that thing.

I booked it past Tony and Autumn, lagging in the back. Each footstep pounded on the cement. We burst into the emergency room doors. They whooshed closed behind me, slowing down so as not to slam shut. The last two came in a moment later.

Victor was already talking nervously to the nurse. She assured him a doctor would be out to see us very soon. Mike flopped on the couch next to the tissues, he was already starting to blow his nose. I was quick to follow him.

Three tissues in, Autumn poked my shoulder. She looked a little teary eyed, probably still from the car ride.

“Jaime?” She asked me, her round eyes full of sadness.

“Yes?” I asked quietly. Soft Bach music played in the background. It was as if matching our sorrowful mood.

“We need to call Liza Caston, Willow’s mother, and tell her what happened.” She told me softly. I nodded, taking the phone in my hand.

The small device seemed to weigh a million pounds in my hands. How could I tell a mother her daughter got hit by a car and might not live? How could I be the one to say that?

Mike started sobbing behind me.

“I’ll get Shut Up.” Autumn patted his shoulder. He sniffled and nodded. She walked back out to the bus. Tony tossed her the keys. Soon enough, our blue haired friend was gone.

Shut Up was the stuffed Rottweiler puppy that a little girl named Rena had given Mike. Apparently, they now played in the arcade every Friday. It was a regular occurrence.

“I can’t do this.” I whispered and sat my phone down back in my pocket. Vic looked at me.

“What is it?” He asked me.

“I can’t tell Ms. Caston what happened to MD.” I told him, putting my head in my hands. I felt the tears finally free themselves, tearing free from their binds and flowing down my cheeks. They collected in tiny puddles in the creases of my hands.

“I’ll do it.” Vic whispered.

“Please.” I nodded and handed him my phone. It had Ms. Caston’s number on it already. Vic took my Samsung in his hands and stood up. I saw his arms shake. Vic was never scared, but now, he was terrified.

We all were.

We were all afraid for our friend’s life.

“Hello, Ms. Caston? Yeah, but I have something to tell you...” Vic started off. I couldn’t bear to hear anymore. Tony sat down on the couch. It looked empty without Autumn. The spot to my right felt hollow without Willow. Nothing seemed right.

“Jaime, she’s going to stay strong. It’s MD, after all. Life is her bitch. She got dis’.” Tony laughed humorously. I smiled a little.

Willow, my girl and my world. It might seem cheesy to say that, but it was so true, it hurt.

She wore the same ratty converse every day and refused to let me buy her new shoes. She always had the same sweatshirt (now blood stained) on and never left home without it. Her blonde hair was always in a ponytail since it was so long. She thought it was too hot to keep down all the time.

Willow loved caramel frappes with whip cream on top. She had a little pocket how-to manual that was constantly stuck to her left hip. MD always wrote little notes in it. She never really showed me it. Sometimes, she would reference the book, but mostly, she would write on it.

She always said “I love you.” Before drifting off at night. To wake me up, she would blow air on my face until opened my eyes because it tickled. When she was mad at me, I would try to kiss her nose because it always made her blush (and that was the cutest thing ever) but she would turn away. I would then proceed to leave her alone and when she forgave me or I said I was sorry (because I really was), she would come up and kiss my forehead.

Whenever she did that, I knew I was forgiven. We didn’t need to speak.

She hated when Mike erased her recordings on the DVR of River Monsters or Arrow just to make space for some HGTV. She loved watching Arrow, a story of the Green Arrow who was a DC superhero, with me late at night. We could stay up until one in the morning just watching that show alone. Then when we got bored of that, we’d watch reruns of The Office and she would silent laugh at Dwight.

I loved her for all of these things and more.

She loved everyone and everything (except Olivia for obvious reasons). She wouldn’t even hurt a fly. One time, a caterpillar inched into our front lounge. She punched Mike in the stomach for attempting to squish the bug. He was out of breath for ten minutes afterwards while she gently scooped it up and released it onto the side of the road. Willow was always so kind and gentle.

And now, I might now be able to have this anymore.

“Friends of Willow Caston?” A doctor came out. His blue scrubs draped around his shoulders. We all raised our heads to the mention. He came towards us, shaking each of our hands. His eyes were the color of dusty amber. He had a worn smile, like he had been working since dawn. The doctor probably had.

“We’re them.” Tony spoke up. Autumn walked through the door with a stuffed animal in her hands. She handed the dog to Mike, who hugged the puppy close to his chest. The man didn’t throw any strange looks to the Fuentes boy.

“I’m Dr. Wilson. I’ve got some news about how Willow is doing.” He said, checking at his clipboard. It was all so official, I felt like he should be wearing a wig like they do in the courtrooms.

“How is she?” I asked quickly. Vic handed me my phone as he sat down. He only wore a sad mask over his usually happy smile.

“Well, we have some bad news. Willow didn’t sustain any life threatening injuries to her arms or chest, although it looks like she’ has a fractured right rib from where she hit the sign. However, her head took the brute part of the blow. Part of her cerebral cortex is damaged and there’s been a… a strange thing happening.” He raised an eyebrow as he looked at his notes.

“Wh-what is it?” I choked out. Blows to the head were always dangerous or at least disabling. I mean, look at the first blow to Willow’s skull! She now has a speech disorder!

“Well, we’ve been trying to do everything we can. We managed to fix the fractured rib, but we can’t operate on the brain. From her past medical history, it seems to be to…fragile…to operate on. We tried giving her medicine that works on ninety nine percent of patient, but her body has been refusing it.” He told us sadly. Our faces fell. Mike held Shut Up closer.

“Wait, so her body won’t take in the medicine? What does that mean?” Autumn asked quickly, giving Tony’s hand a squeeze. The doctor showed us some CAT scans, or maybe they were SAT scans. Wait, one’s a test….

“It means that her body is slowly shutting down. When she hit the sign, it hit part of her brain that gives commands to the heart and other important organs. This part has been severely damaged. The brain can’t typically repair itself, so we give it a little ‘boost’ with this medicine. The fact that her body is rejecting it….means that she’s not healing herself.” He told us slowly. We took a moment to digest it. A ray of sun bounced off the glass table in front of me. I closed my eyes against it. I couldn’t process this.

“So she’ll die.” I whispered.

“Possibly. There’s always that maybe factor.” Dr. Wilson tried to assure me. I shook my head.

“No, please don’t try to sugar coat it. Will she die?” I choked out. Dr. Wilson looked down at his notes, trying to find an answer that I would want to hear.

“I don’t know.”

“Can we see her?” Autumn asked. Dr. Wilson bit his lip nervously. His thumbs twitched at the bent corner of the top sheet. I felt the tension in the air.

“Right now she’s in the IC unit. She’s in a coma on life support. We’re giving her the week for her body to possibly start accepting the medicine. If she doesn’t accept it by the end of the week, we have to take her off.” He told us. Mike furrowed his brow. He set his face into a grim frown. I saw the tendons jump out against his skin.

“Wait, why only a week!?” He asked seriously. Dr. Wilson shook his head before standing up.

“If her body doesn’t respond to it after a week, it never will.” He told us before thanking our group for our time. I watched him walked through a set of wooden double doors and down a hallway.

The heavy silence settled on our shoulders, on our lips and turning smiles into sorrowful frowns. I hugged my knees to my chest, since I didn’t have Willow to hug instead.

“AAAAAHHHHHHH!” A loud voice pushed through the double doors as a man collapsed on the floor. The loud sigh was muffled as four other bodies tumbled in after him. The nurse at the office desk gave them a dirty glare.

“Jack? Alex? Rian? Zack?” I asked. The four boys were laying on the floor, dripping with sweat.

Mike and Tone went to go collect them before the nurse kicked us all out. Vic had to help carry Jack. He looked as pale as a ghost from all the running. I moved to let him lay on my couch.

“Thanks….a….bunch….for….making….us…run…fifteen....miles.” Jack panted heavily. Autumn went and got him some water. Soon enough, the entire ATL band was chugging water like a bunch of camels.

“Daily exercise-complete.” Autumn suggested. Jack glared at her while Vic filled them all in on what had happened. Their panting subsided as they all slowly started to tear up.

“No, not her.” Alex whispered. Jack sat up deciding to lean on Alex. They all sat on one couch, passing worried glances.

It should never have been her.

Notes

Heheh sorry I lied. MD comes in on the next chapter. It would've been too long to include her in this chapter, so I had to split it up. Sorry! I promise she comes in next time!!!

Comments

Oh my god ;-; As I was reading the ending, like her dying and the funeral and all, i'm listening to pandora. And See You Again by Wiz Khalifa started playing and now my feels are broken :.c

Alleigh Byrd Alleigh Byrd
7/20/15

@inamityswake
O.O I'm so, so sorry about your loss :( It hurt me and made me cry just writing this. I couldn't imagine going through it. I'm happy and appreciate that you loved the story and you could connect to it, even though it was connected with a painful memory. I hope you're having a good day despite the story ending and reliving memories. :) You're welcome and stay amazing, beautiful :) <3

@piercingirisash
I'm so happy you loved the story! I sure hope I'll have time to write make Willow's story a trilogy and write a third story to this series, but I'm really happy that it was one of the best fanfics you've ever read! You're very welcome and thank you!

@Bandwhorecx
hahaha I feel you there! :) Thank you!

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf
6/11/15

Pshhhhh I'm not crying I just got something in my eyes......

Loved this story omg

Lawhora Lawhora
6/10/15

Oh my gosh! I can not even express how much I've adored this story. Ik it's a fan fiction but it's certainly one of the best I've ever read. It made me laugh, upset, and cry. You, love, gave me feels with your words. Thank you!

piercingirisash piercingirisash
6/10/15

Ok so you have a lot to answer for considering it’s 2 am, I have to be up in 3 hours and I’m bawling my eyes out.
If you see this, thank you for writing such a beautiful story in both this and the first part. Even though it was fanfiction, I connected with it, having just lost my cousin to a brain tumour that basically turned him into Willow. He lost most of his basic function in a very similar way to Willow, and then died in the final hours of his 16th birthday, a year after diagnosis. The way you wrote this made me relive that, and your writing took me on a journey
TL:DR I'm crying, thank you. <3

inamityswake inamityswake
6/10/15