Two weeks have gone by and things have been the same. This week was Nashville Tennessee. Its really lovely here with the music just flowing freely through the streets. The guys were being swamped today with interviews before getting ready for the show, so I went for a walk into the city to see if there was anything to entertain me until the set. By this time, it was only 9 am so I was in search of one breakfast. I walked past a few places looking in through their windows to see all the different kinds of people sitting at tables eating their own breakfast and talking amongst each other.
“Hey lady, do you think you could spare some change?” I heard as I was crossing the street. I turned around and let my eyes wander back to where the voice came from. A man dressed in what looked to be the same clothes he had been wearing for the past couple years. A beard dangled under his bowing head. His tired eyes were a dark blue. His hair a mess. I half wanted to take him and buy him new clothes. The $500 I had on me was the only money I had for anything while I was on the road with the guys because I didn't want them to have to pay for everything, but as I looked at the man I weighed my options. I walked to him and kneeled down in front of him… and I made a decision.
“Im going to change your life right now. Are you ready?” I asked and put my hand out. Thankfully, he took it and stood with me.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” He asked, his stature much taller than my own. I thought about my experiences, and all the times that I was so low that I thought everything was over. There was a part of me that I refused to go back to and it made me want to tell Kellin as soon as he and I had the chance. Because…how else am I going to be able to move on, to start new, like I was about to do for this man.
“Everyone deserves a second chance.”

With that, we escaped onto the streets and walked into a gym where we snuck to the showers and I let him wash up after handing him a small boodle of Bath and Body works body wash that I carried around with me, and took a picture of him and I together on my phone to show to Kellin later, while I went and got a pair of clothes for him after getting his size. I got a pair of simple dark jeans and a black button down from a Goodwill just down the street for under $10. A pair of black dress shoes for $5 and then to a corner store to get a razor, shaving cream, and a small comb to get the knots out of his hair.
After he was dressed, I walked with him to a place to get his hair cut and went and got some luck for the both of us from a Burger King on the other side of the shopping center it was in. I went back and set all the food down, walked up to the counter and smiled to the lady as I payed for his hair cut. Then there he was… and I swear he looked EXACTLY like Alaric from The Vampire Diaries. He was so handsome.
“Oh my god…” I whispered as he walked towards me. I stepped around the counter and put my hand on my hip.
“Well look at you being all handsome and whatnot!” I made him spin a few times just taking it all in.
“I feel amazing.” He said as we walked out of the place and back out onto the street.
“Good. Now let’s give this man a name shall we?” I asked.
“My name is Jason. Jason Flonda.” He replied and smiled to me. I knew it felt good claiming something that he thought was lost forever, even if it were something as simple as a name. To be able to live up to it is what counts.
“Well I'm Heather. Nice to meet you Mr.Flonda.” I said smiling as I stuck my hand out for him to shake
“Come on. Lets get you a few things for starters.”
For the rest of the day I pretty much dragged him around town. I got him a phone and got him minutes on it, we bought a few pairs of clothes and a few more pairs of shoes, a jacket for when it started to get chilly out. After that, I wasn't sure what all else I could do for him. But then the thought came to mind. What with all the bands and stuff looking for loading crews and drivers, I thought for sure someone would take him in, maybe earn a few bucks here and there. Hey, it would be a job. And thats saying something for a homeless man.
We took our time walking back to the gate, talking about random things. Mostly about his experience being homeless. He told me he had been homeless going on 3 years and that he was ok with that. That, yes, there were things that he missed as a normal citizen but that being without certain things maid him realize that materials didn't make him who he was. He learned how to coexist with strangers, with the people that most would just walk by without a single glance. He learned respect more than any mother could ever teach her child. He learned that slacking off is not the way to go.
“I have this sense of survival now. I know how to protect myself. And I know now that that is going to help me should I ever find someone that needs my caring, that needs my protection. Its shaped me into someone maybe that I wouldn't have picked for myself, but something that I can be proud of in an emotional sense. I let out some of myself that otherwise would have been tainted by the unnecessary. I got to be me to the fullest. I feel better as a person. Being dirty was just the unfortunate part.” He said and laughed. I didn't laugh. I remember days being homeless and shook my head ridding the memories of the things I saw. But…I guess I can say that it did make me a better person or else I wouldn't be helping Jason right now…right?
We were at the gate now and I handed the guy standing there my badge and told him that Jason was with me before we entered. I was hoping the guys would be understanding. I was hoping that someone would take him in and teach him something. Jesse was first to come out of the bus as we walked to it.
“Hey, how were all those interviews?” I called to him as well all walked toward each other.
“Oh just lovely in this Hot weather Miss Heather.” He said smiling. Once we reached each other, Jesse reached out a hand for Jason to shake.
“Jesse Lawson.” He said.
“Jason Flonda.” he responded smiling to Jesse.
“Jesse, Jason is homeless…so I helped him out.” I said when the guys came spilling out of the bus.
“Heather!!!” Gabe yelled as he ran to me with his arms spread out like a plane. He made a few loops as I looked at Jason.
“This is the band i’m touring with.” I said and laughed. Gabe rapped his arms around my shoulders and picked me up spinning me once before setting me down. The others said their hello’s, each of them messing up my hair before turning to Jason. Kellin was last to me. He didn't look very good. His nose was red and he looked pale. I looked at him with concern as he looked up to me and smiled.
“Are you ok?” I asked him quietly as I wrapped my arms around him.
“I think i’m getting a cold. Ill be fine. Who is this?” He asked pulling away from me and I pulled out my phone pulling the picture up of Jason I had taken before he showered.
“This is him. A few hours ago.” I said holding my phone out to him. His hands shot out, taking my phone from me.
“Holy…” Kellin started.
“Yup, she helped me clean up. I asked her for some change and she ended up giving me a chance to start my life new.” Jason said laying a hand on my shoulder and smiling down to me. He reminded me of some family members I met before being stripped of a family all together. Genuine. Loving.
“You did this for him?” Kellin asked me as the others looked to me for an answer.
“Um…yes? Your looking at me like I did the wrong thing.” I said hesitantly.
“No Heather,” He said chuckling. “your so amazing. I cant believe you did this! Actually…I guess I can believe it, considering the help you've given me.” He said as he looked back down at the picture shaking his head while smiling.
“Jack, you know anyone looking for a driver or someone to help carry and unpack things? He needs a job.” I asked and Jack nodded his head and put a hand out for Jason to shake before pulling him away talking about things that he could do. Everyone else dispersed around to other busses.
“You need to be rewar” Kellin started getting cut off by a cough. I frowned and took his arm and linked mine with his and pulled him towards the bus.
“I think you just need to rest. We've got a long tour ahead of us.” I pulled him up into the bus and demanded he change into something comfortable while I made hot chocolate and laid some blankets out on the couch and turned on an old black and white movie that I saw under the TV earlier. I changed as well into my sweat pants and sat on the couch with my hot chocolate.
“Woah, woah, woah, turn this off right now.”
“What? Why? I like this movie.”
“I said turn it off!” I flinched at his yell, got up and pushed the eject button and took my time putting the disk back in the case. I listened to Kellin behind me as he let out a long breath.
“Im sorry Heather…thats just…something Katelynn and I used to do together…” My gut turned from hurting because of him yelling to hurting because I had done something stupid.
“Oh…i’m sorry Kellin. I should have asked you what you wanted to watch first. Its my fault.” I said and circled my finger around the rim of my mug trying to keep from tearing up. He sighed and walked towards me.
“You didn't know. Its ok.” He said and set his hand on my arm and used his other to tuck my hair behind my ear. I nodded and looked down at my cup.
“Do you need anything else? An extra blanket or something? You should pick a movie. I want a pillow.” I was stumbling through my words. I fucked up. I always fuck up. I walked past him and set my mug down on the counter before retreating back to the bunks to get my pillow.
“Yea I guess while your back there could you grab mine?” He asked and I turned to watch him sit on the couch and burry his face in his hands. I grabbed our pillows and an extra roll of toilet paper from the bathroom when I heard him sniffle and took it to the couch. I turned back around and grabbed our hot chocolates from from the counter.
“Get comfy.” I told him and he did. When he was situated I gave him his drink. The movie that came on was one I had never seen before, making it easy to relax and focus on the movie and not on Kellin raising his voice to me. It reminded me of my father. The stress he was under and the unintentional snapping he did. The outbursts of anger.
Kellin fell asleep after finishing his hot chocolate. So I turned the movie off and the light and stood, making him get up so that I could pull the mattress out of the couch. We laid down. Face to face.
“You look like your sad.” He said. I curled my hands under my chin and closed my eyes.
“Maybe I am.” I responded.
“Is it because of me? I didn't mean to snap at you.” He repeated my fathers unintentional emotion towards me. Snap.
“Its another story for another time.” I opened my eyes and looked into his.
“Will you tell me tomorrow?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said.
“Go to bed Kellin. You have to sing tomorrow and your voice sounds like shit.” I said and we giggled.
“Goodnight Heather.” He said and closed his eyes.
“Goodnight Kellin.” I said back and kissed his cheek before turning back over and thinking about…the rain. The rain that was my life. That HAD been my life I should say. It just kept falling. And even though I had find a clear part of my life with Kellin and the guys and what we do, I still found ways to let it rain within my goodness. I have no sympathy for myself. Lets get that straight. Im angry with myself. Im angry that theres things im doing that could be gone about so much better but I choose the wrong thing. What is it about me that just seems to continuously choose the wrong way?

A tear slides down my cheek and I make the mistake of letting my body shake as I let out a cry. Then I feel Kellins hand resting on my hip and humming leaking from his lips. I feel my chest start to deflate, my tears dry, and soon, my eyes close. And I'm lost in an eternal land of Kellins soothing humming.

Notes

Hey sorry for the wait again. Im going to try to get these out a little faster. As always, tell me what you think. Comment, rate, subscribe. Hope y'all are having a good week so far. Its almost thanksgiving :D lol ok. stay golden my little ponies XD Much love and happy writing :)