Through the Lens

I was quiet and I wanted to stay quiet. After waking up from my nightmare, clutching my chest, crying and and feeling that pain again that I had once felt, I looked around the tour bus to see Kellin, Vic and Tony all knocked out. Vic even fell asleep with his guitar in his lap.

I sat up and looked next to me to see Tony had fallen asleep sitting up with his arms crossed over his chest. He snored lightly.

The bus was still moving and I assumed we were almost to our destination in Switzerland. I looked behind me to see out the window. It was still light outside. We were passing by a huge field. In the distance I could see snow capped mountains. Definitely Switzerland. Hopefully we arrived soon. By now, I really needed some fresh air.

I felt movement next to me. I looked to see Tony begin to move and wake up. His eyes opened to see me. He smiled.

"Hey Rax." He yawned and stretched his arms over his head.

I gave a dry smile. My nightmare was still on my mind.

Instantly Tony knew something was wrong. "Is... everything okay?" He asked in a concerned tone.

"I'm fine." I lied, out of nervous habit itching my wrist.

Tony sat himself up straight and placed his hand on my wrist and turned it over to look. His eyes widened as he looked closer. Over my pale skin, there were scars that he could now see clearly in the sunlight.

"Oh, Rax..." Tony's voice shook.

Oh, Rax...

He reminded me of Razell for a moment when he said that which physically stung at my heart.

"I had... no idea." Tony shook his head in disbelief. He held my hand in his and took my other hand, seeing the underside of my other arm also covered in scars.

"I know... I hide them well..." I whispered. I wasn't sure if I should be ashamed of myself. "There's something you need to know about me, Tony... something that only a few people know..."

I then explained everything to him. All about Razell and how he was the first to show me their music and how it had saved me and how Razell couldn't be saved. I had mentally beat myself up over all of this for years and it finally all just spewed out.

By the end of it I noticed that Tony had tears running down his cheeks, his eyes still locked on my scars. He held my hands tighter and rubbed my hands between his. Finally his eyes met mine.

"It must have been hard to go through all that..." he whispered.

"It still is. There's not a single day that goes by that I don't think about him. I visit his grave every Christmas for his birthday..." I admitted. It felt good to finally tell someone about everything going on in my head, but sad at the same time that it took me so long to open up to anyone about it all. "He was... my best friend."

Before I knew it, I was pulled into Tony's chest for a hug, his arms wrapped around me tightly. "Raxella, I know I can't ever replace him in your life, but I'm not just your boyfriend. I want to be your best friend and I want you to talk to me if you ever need to. I don't care if you need to wake me up when I'm sleeping. I don't care if it's 3 in the morning... just please... talk to me if you need to."

"You already saved me... before you even knew me." I mumbled into his shoulder.

Tony hugged me tighter. "I love you, Rax... so much."

"I love you too, Tony..."

Notes

Sorry for the short chapter! Don't hate me! <3