One Hundred And One Sleepless Nights

I think by now it's fairly obvious I'm a runner. If things are getting hard, I'll leg it. So it's no surprise I fled from California the first chance I got. But it's not that bad! After what I went through I should be allowed to run away. Who better to run away with? Leah. She knows how to do it. We have cocktails and everything.
Where are we? In fantastic, expensive, cultural hotel in Mexico lounging by the pool. We chose Mexico because Vic will never think of looking here for me because it's too close to him and it's the last place Jack would look because it would remind me of Vic. The perfect plan.
"So tell me again?" Leah urged, sipping on her cocktail. "I didn't follow you last night."
"That's because you were drunk." I explained.
"You showed up and dragged me across the border. That's one hell of a reason to get drunk!" Leah laughed.
"Okay, so after I got back from Vic saying all that sweet stuff from me I went home." I explained.

I opened my apartment door and peered inside. I saw Jack sat on the couch. I couldn't see the girls. Phew. I don't need them knowing about all this just yet. I walked inside and went to Jack. I sat down and looked at his face. He was glaring at the floor.
"What's wrong?" I asked anxiously. "Is your nose any better?"
"Kate took Alex back to her hotel to play with Copeland." he explained.
"Oh, okay..." I trailed away. It all seemed pretty awkward, not something I usually associate with Jack.
"You went to see Vic." Jack stated.
"Yeah." I admitted.
"I didn't want you too."
"You should have said." I sighed.
"Like it would do any good. You never listen to me anyway."
"I don't listen to anyone." I rolled my eyes.
"Did you kiss him?" Jack asked flatly.
"What?" I gasped.
"Did you fuck him?"
"No, I didn't fuck him!" I said angrily. I stood up and glared down at him.
"Look, I never meant for it to come out like that. Try and get in my head for just a second, babe. After your ex has just punched me in the nose for being engaged to you... you go and see him and you're gone for going on two hours. What am I supposed to think?" Jack rushed.
"How about you're supposed to trust me? How about you're supposed to believe that I love you and not Vic?"
"Do you love me?" Jack asked through gritted teeth, not meeting my eye.
"Don't be stupid!" I sighed. I realised right then that he wasn't trying to argue. He was actually really insecure of our relationship. He knew Vic loved me. He knew that Vic was trying to get me back. That thought must have him terrified.
"And do you love Vic?" Jack asked me sincerely.
"I-" I tried but no words came out. I shook my head violently at him and pulled at my hair. I couldn't respond, I just couldn't. Was that because I actually did still love Vic? I don't know.
"Do you actually love me? I don't want any bullshit. Do you love me, Zee?"
"I think so." I muttered.

"And what you just left?" Leah asked wide eyed with interest.
"Nope. We got all old married couple and just didn't talk for the rest of the night. Then when he had to meet some magazine for an interview I left." I explained.
"Did you have make up sex?"
"To have make up sex you have to make up." I rolled my eyes at her.
"Point taken. Now, what about when you were at Austin's the Jemma's?" she asked eagerly.

There was a knock on Austin's door. Jemma had gone to answer it while Austin had gone to make me more tea. I was checking my phone for texts that I could ignore from Jack. "Just let me in!" I heard someone yell. Oh no. I know that voice.
I looked up and saw Vic standing in the doorway. I went to get up and head for the kitchen but for some reason my legs had stopped working. I couldn't move. "Sorry for last night." Vic said quietly. He buried his hands into his pockets and searched for my eyes.
"Vic..." I sighed.
"If you want me to stop then just say it," he said. But I couldn't say the words. "I love you." Vic said, walking closer to me. He was only a few steps away now.
"You're horrible," I shook my head. "Fucking hell, Vic! You come back and expect me to give you the world. Well, you don't deserve it! You don't deserve a second, not even a second of my time. You're arrogant and condescending and selfish and disgustingly horrible. I don't care that you're good looking or that you know me or how big your friend is. I don't care! It doesn't take all of the shit you out me through away!" I screamed.
"You used to love me," Vic told me calmly. "You used to and you loved all of the bad too. Everyone has a bad side, Zee. Even you do."
"I know, but you're wrong. I didn't love those things. How stupid are you? I loved you in spite of all those things." I said through gritted teeth.

"Wow. So he loves you?" Leah asked.
"Yeah, unfortunately." I groaned.
"And does Jack know that? I can't believe Vic said that! You would be begging for this a few months ago."
"Of course he doesn't know," I sighed. "And it's all the wrong time. It's not fair."
"Did you see Jack at all after that?" Leah asked.
"Well..." I trailed away.

I walked in my apartment after coming back. I went to my sitting room and almost dropped my bag. Jack had Alex on his lap - normal. But they were sitting on the couch looking into the laptop where I saw Skype up and my parents on the other side.
"What's going on?" I asked tightly.
"Just talking." Jack smiled lightly.
"Nana misses me!" Alex grinned at the screen.
"You're looking fat Zandra." Mom stated. Wow, love right there.
"Thanks Mom you're looking old." I rolled my eyes.
"So, Jack what do we need to talk about?" Dad asked. So I'm know the only one who thinks something's up.
"Actually Zee and I have something to tell you." Jack said and pulled me to sit down. I forced a smile and let him wrap his arm around me.
"What's that, sweetie?" I forced through gritted teeth.
"I asked Zee to marry me... And she said yes." Jack exclaimed.
"Oh." was all Dad said. He rubbed his neck nervously and forced a smile.
"That's very quick." Mom said.
"Really rushed." Dad added and Mom hit him.
"We mean congratulations." Mom said brightly. She didn't meant it. Who'd blame her?
"He's lying!" I laughed. "We're not." I rushed.
"You're getting married?" Alex frowned. "I thought it was just the pretty ring."
"I'm not." I told her and kissed her head.
Then Jack got up and stormed off screen. He opened the door and I heard it slam loudly. Shit.
"Was it something we said?" Mom asked, raising her eyebrows.

"So your parents know?" Leah frowned.
"Kinda. Not really." I shrugged.
"Why didn't you want them to know?"
"Because I don't even know what I want." I sighed.
"Do you think Vic's mom knows?"
"Oh, she does." I whined.
"Why do you say it like that?" Leah asked.
"I went to see her." I admitted.

I parked up outside of Vivian's. I went and got Alex out and then we walked to the door. I knocked and Vivian answered the door. She smiled at Alex who had ran inside to where I spotted Mike and Laura were.
"Um... I-" I tried.
"He isn't here." Vivian told me flatly.
"Oh, sorry." I sighed.
"What's going on with Vic?" Vivian asked me seriously.
"Just drama." I shrugged.
"You're engaged." Vivian stated.
"I don't even know if I am," I laughed humourlessly. "I don't know anything," I shrugged. "You'll probably tell me to get back with Vic now."
"I won't tell you who to be with," Vivian said smoothly. "No one can influence who you love. It's something special and painful. You shouldn't choose who people think are right for you, you should pick who you want in your life. You can try to fall out of love but it never works. I've tried it. So just do what you think, what you want."
"I don't know what I want." I told her.
"You will. But don't just pick someone who's another you. I had Victor. He was the opposite to me but he complimented me. He brought me down and calmed me down. Pick the man who compliments you and loves you through everything. Don't pick the man who is trying to make you a better person. Pick the man who makes you want to be a better person." Vivian explained.
"I- I'll try," I rushed. "I'm sorry. I need to go." I said urgently and turned away.

"And then you called me?" Leah asked.
"Yeah, pretty much. Fast forward a day and here we are in Mexico sipping cocktails." I explained.
"I think you know who you'll pick," Leah suddenly said. "It's always been the same person. Always will be."
"I don't know." I chewed anxiously on my lip.
"Why not?"
"What if I'm not the Vivian in the situation? I'm Victor who brought out the good in her and calmed her down. I bring out the good in Vic and I make him a better person." I said. Leah didn't know what to say. She just shrugged and ordered another cocktail.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? Wow, things are getting serious now. Zee fled for Mexico. Can you tell me what you think of Vivian's speech? Who will Zee end up with? What will happen when she goes back? There is one more chapter left and a small epilogue! Who's excited? Who's sad? Who's sobbing over their computer screen? :)