One Hundred And One Sleepless Nights

Jack and I moved pretty quickly in a pretty short space of time. I'm no longer a virgin. Now two months on we've reached the I'm-comfortable-enough-with-you-to-leave-the-bathroom-door-open-when-I-shower-and-not-be-attacked-by-a-rampaging-sex-rhino stage. I don't know if I like this stage. Am I not even desirable enough to be ravaged by a sex rhino? Saying that, Jack has never been big on the whole sex rhino thing. Accept when he's around his friends or drunk, then he will literally not stoping touching my ass.
I was just positioning my scented candles when Alex came running in. Oh dammit, she's been in my make-up box again. Fuchsia Pink really isn't her colour. "Look at you." I sighed.
"The door rang." Alex told me.
"On the phone?" I asked and she nodded.
"I think it's Jack."
"Why?"
"He said it's Jack." That's normally a clue.
I went to the phone and buzzed him up. I started mentally preparing myself. I'd spoken to Leah last night. She said that I'm getting too serious with Jack and it's only okay to get serious if you've had at least three serious arguments. Apparently there was an article all about it in Cosmopolitan. We've only had two arguments. The first was because Jack smashed my bathroom scales after I told him I felt fat because he wanted to 'solve the problem'. The second was when we were at Rian's house party and Jack tried to manhandle me into the downstairs toilet.
I heard Jack knock and I went to answer the door. This is a little routine now. He spends a lot of time at my apartment. But we aren't living together! No way.
"Hey." Jack smiled and leant in to kiss me. I let him inside and went over to the couch. I turned the channel over seeing as Alex had disappeared again. Looking at him now I don't know what to argue about, maybe he'll randomly start shouting at me. I can hope. "You look nice." Fuck you, Jack.
"What's your opinion on Obama?" I rushed. Wow, I'm trying too hard.
"Never met him." Jack shrugged.
"What about Hitler?"
"Never met him either." Oh, come on.
"Okay, what about me if I stop shaving my legs?"
"You want to stop shaving your legs?" Jack raised his eyebrows.
"So what if I do? You going to stop me?"
"I just thought I had enough hair for the both of us." Jack laughed.
"You're hopeless!" I exclaimed and stood up.
"What did I do?"
"You're not arguing." I huffed.
"I didn't know we were arguing. What's it about?"
"Like you don't know."
"So there's hair, Obama and Hitler. I don't get it, babe." Jack frowned.
I'm really lost about what to do. There isn't much to argue about. Maybe if I stabbed him in the eye with a fork he'd get angry. There's an idea. "Are you calling me fat?!" I demanded. Even I know I'm being stupid.
"No! When did I say that?" Jack huffed.
"I can see you looking at my ass."
"Zee, ninety percent of the time I'm with you I'm looking at your ass. I like looking at your ass. It makes me happy." Jack said, now pointedly looking at my ass.
"You're lying. You think my ass is the size of Germany!"
"Is that where Hitler comes in?" Jack asked, sounding more amused than anything.
"Hmm..." I muttered.
"Zee, you have a gorgeous ass. When you met my parents last week they liked you-"
"Mine liked you too." I interrupted him.
"Yeah, well you know what I said to them after?"
"Wow my girlfriend is fat?" I offered.
"No, I said how great you are. And what did my mom say?"
"Can I phone I friend?" I asked.
"She said you're pretty but the least I could do was to look at your eyes as you're talking as opposed to your ass." Jack told me easily.
"I think you should apologise to me." I suddenly said.
"Why would I do that?"
"To gain my forgiveness."
"What do I need to be forgiven for?"
"Disrespecting my womanly body." I improvised.
"Fine," Jack sighed tiredly. "I am very sorry for disrespecting your womanly body."
"Thank you." I snapped.
"Now, do you class touching your ass as disrespecting your womanly body?" Jack teased.
"That depends on if I would like my ass to be touched."
"Zee, can I touch your ass?"
"I don't know, can you?" I mocked.
"Zee, may I touch your ass?" Jack rolled his eyes.
"I don't know." I stuck my tongue out at him. I placed myself down in his lap and rested my head against his chest. "Jack." I said.
"Hmm?"
"Your parents are really nice and respectable."
"They are." he agreed.
"So how'd they raise you? You sure you aren't adopted."
"My moms been asking herself the same question ever since she walked in on me jerking off under my bed sheets when I was thirteen." he nodded knowledgeably.
"What are you doing?" Alex asked, coming over to us.
"Your mommy keeps being silly." Jack explained.
"My daddy used to make her silly." Alex said.
"But he's in England now." I said.
"Does that mean he's making the Queen silly?" Alex asked, climbing up and sitting on my lap.
"I hope not." Jack chuckled and I flicked him in the side of the head.
"I wasn't being silly." I told Alex.
"Tilly at school says her mommy is silly." Alex said easily.
"Why is she silly?" Jack asked.
"I don't know," Alex shrugged her shoulders. "Her other mommy makes her mommy silly."
"Other mommy?" Jack echoed.
"Tilly has two mommy's." I explained carefully.
"Are they special friends?" Jack asked laughing to himself.
"Grow up." I rolled my eyes.
"Nope, they're married. Like a man and a lady, but no man's." Alex explained.
"That's okay though." I told Alex.
"I know," Alex looked at me as if to say 'why wouldn't it be okay?'. "You're boring when you're silly." she told me and hopped off of my lap and towards her bedroom again.
"You've been told." Jack grinned, lightly holding my waist.

Notes

Hey! So I hate this chapter. I absolutely loathe it. It's a filler rubbishy thing. Did you hate it as much as I did? Favourite line? The next one should be better, it's in Vic's p.o.v. There's only four or five more chapters to go now! Are you going to be as sad as me when it's over? :(