One Hundred And One Sleepless Nights

Vic wasn't going to stay for me - not when I as good as told him I was choosing Jack. This was confirmed in the form of a going away party. An actual party. I don't even think Vic really wants to go. Apparently he's doing it for the band. That's a big fat lie. We all know why Vic is leaving. If anything he's tearing apart the band. Good luck doing rehearsals over Skype.
Being the responsible adult Vic is he isn't talking to me. This shows he has the maturity level of a thirteen year old boy who's just found his big brothers porn mag stash. Whenever were at any risk of being alone Vic hurries out of the room. Surely a ten minute conversation won't be that bad. He's going to be hundreds of thousands of miles away from me soon.
Something no one has really considered is Mike. He's losing his little big brother. I found him in the kitchen where all the drinks where. I took a bottle from behind him and took a sip. Mike turned around and gave me a small smile.
"You okay?" I asked him.
"I'm golden, Zee." he told me. I didn't believe him.
"Sure you are." I mocked.
"I am."
"Sure."
"Why aren't you believing me? You're ruining my plan." he laughed lightly.
"Sorry, Mikey. Just figured everyone is all Vic and Polly. No one is thinking about how hard it'll hit you and Victor and Vivian." Not that I really care about Vivian. I still can't spend more than fifteen minutes alone with her.
"If we're talking about it hitting people hard let's talk about Alex." he said.
"She's used to Vic being on tour. She'll be fine," I shrugged. "Plus, she has plenty of distractions."
"Like Jack?" Mike teased.
"I- how do you know?" I narrowed my eyes.
"Come on," Mike chuckled. "You arrived here tonight with him and he's had Alex hanging around him all night."
"Now you're ruining my plan." I complained playfully.
"So, what's going on with you two?"
"We went out. It was good, we get on well."
"And?" Mike urged.
"Got myself a boyfriend." I joked, or at least I tried to joke.
"You serious?" Mike grinned.
"Shut up!" I whined.
"What's going on?" Polly asked politely as she walked into the kitchen.
"Zee has a boyfriend!" Mike yelled.
"Really?" Polly smiled.
"Who?" Austin walked in.
"Jack." I replied.
"Yeah?" Jack poked his head around the doorway. Oh for crying out loud.
"Talking about your relationship status, Barakat." Austin said.
"Oh." Jack grinned goofily and I walked over to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and leant down to give me a quick kiss. When we broke away over Jacks shoulder I saw Vic glaring at us.
"Yo, Zee!" Alan called. I rolled my eyes and went over to where he was in the sitting room. At least we all know it wasn't the drink that was making him behave like a toddler trapped in a candy store. He's drinking soda tonight and he's already fallen over twice, kissed three different people and got his thing caught in the zipper of his jeans.
"What's up?" I asked.
"I've been doing some thinking." Oh no.
"You don't want to do too much of that. You could cause yourself an injury." I said.
"I know we made a list and everything. But I'm not sure about Jack. I think I'm team Vic.
"You're team Vic?" I asked weakly and he nodded. "Alan!" I exclaimed and hit him across the back of the head.
"Ow!" he complained.
"You wanted me to pick Jack."
"I never said that."
"You hinted! You said for me to choose. It's too late to change my mind now."
"It is?"
"Of course it is! It's Vic's going away party."
"Oh, yeah." he grinned goofily. It's a good thing he's a pretty face. I wonder who else is team Vic though.

Vic never spoke to me for the rest of the night. He never spoke to me when he said a last goodbye to Alex. He never even spoke to me when he called Alex after he'd arrived and gotten settled in England. And even now, he's been there for two weeks and he still hasn't spoken to me. I don't know why. What have I actually done?
I've had to talk to Mike to make any sense over what's going on. Apparently Vic is coming back to San Diego every month, which apart from being completely ridiculous and massively expensive is also a huge waste of time. If he needs to come home every month he obviously didn't want to go in the first place.
I could be a complete bitch and keep Alex all to myself. But I don't want that. Just because Vic has fucked up and been a huge dick doesn't mean Alex should miss out on time with Mike and Laura and Victor and Vivian. As much as I can't stand Vivian unless I have to she cares for Alex. She's understanding too. Like tonight Alex is staying with them. Vivian knows that Jack is coming over tonight but she still offered to have her. Most kind-of-ex-in-laws wouldn't do that.
Now, as excited as I am to have Jack over I'm also insanely nervous. You'd think the second we agreed on the boyfriend-girlfriend title (which okay was pretty soon) Jack would have me thrown down onto his expensive mattress and I would be surely ravaged. But no. We have yet to lose our relationship virginity. That's what I like to call it. It doesn't make me feel like a complete slut that way.
By the time my doorbell rang I had drank half a bottle of wine to loosen myself up. I went to answer and grinned at Jack. He smiled and leant in to kiss me. He went through into my kitchen and placed down a few bottles of wine and a Chinese takeaway. He knows me. I got out some plates and glasses and we went into my sitting room.
"You okay?" Jack asked me.
"Of course!" I exclaimed. "Why wouldn't I be?!"
"No, reason." Jack frowned and started eating.
I got through my Chinese slower than Jack did. As I was finishing it off I could feel him watching me. Does he think I'm fat? Does he know I'm nervous? Have I got a noodle on my face?
"You seem kinda tense." Jack commented.
"I'm not tense! I'm loose. I'm like a jelly wish I'm so loose!" I giggled.
"Loose." Jack echoed. Wait, that sounded bad. Does he think I'm a slut now? Not that kind of loose!
"I meant relaxed! I'm not a hoe!" I rushed.
"Good to know."
"No, I've only slept with like fourteen people. Maybe fifteen..."
"Then I have you beat by about nineteen dozen, give or take a few." Jack chuckled.
"Oh great!" I mocked. He's slept with so many people, I'm probably going to be rubbish in bed compared to some of the girls he's been with. He's probably had hookers and dominatrix's up to his eyes.
"What is up with you tonight?" Jack sighed and took my hand.
"I'm fine." I squeaked.
"Do you want me to go?" he asked gently.
"No," I rushed. "No. No. No."
"Okay," he frowned at me. "You know we're not hooking up tonight. We don't have to do anything."
"Obviously!" I snorted. Phew. "What kind of girl do you take me for!"
Jack smiled at me lightly and shook his head. "So I did an interview yesterday." he said.
"Really?" I asked, not at all paying attention. Jack's talking about his silly interview. He's telling me all about it but I'm really not listening.
"Zee!" Jack stopped.
"Hmm?" I asked.
"Did you even listen to a word I said?" Jack asked and I guiltily shook my head. "That's okay, I love you anyway."
I put my head up and widened my eyes. Was he serious? Did I love him back? No, don't be stupid. We've only been together for a month. But did he love me? Isn't it a little soon? He's not taking it back. And he's not freaking out about the whole not replying thing either.
"I know it's way too soon," Jack said. "Sorry."
"It's okay." I shrugged.
"You're not saying it back." he raised his eyebrows.
"I don't unlove you..." I trailed away.
Jack laughed and took my hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it softly. "I don't unlove you either, babe." he said easily. Phew.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? Wow, Jandra! Opinions? Any predictions? Is there any hope for Vandra? I managed to write this in between playing the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game. Is anyone else addicted like me? Death to Willow Pape. I can still be punk rock and jump on the Kim K bandwagon right?

All of my stories are now going to be tagged with 'writeislife' and 'bleeding-for-acceptance'. So if you search that youll find all my stories. I'll be posting when I update on tumblr. So reblog and stuff and make me famous ;)

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