One Hundred And One Sleepless Nights

Who ever says that life is easy is a liar. I've done some hard things in my time. I got a talk from the police for attempting to sell Kate online. I had naked pictures posted of myself on the internet. I gave birth! But telling my daughter that she has to take all of her things and live with her father has to be the hardest.
After I called Alex into the sitting room I sat her down on the couch. She started drawing in the book she had brought and I took it away. Alex frowned at me and I sighed. I have to do this. I can't just let him take her with no explanation. She'll hate me.
"You're going to spend some time at Daddy's." I told her gently.
"But it's not the weekend." Alex replied.
"I know, sweetheart. But you're going to be staying there for a while."
"But why?"
"It's like a fun vacation. You're staying with Dad to see it you like it. Then if you do you might be able to stay there." I tried to explain.
"What did I do?!" she exclaimed.
"Nothing, I promise."
"Is it when I'm naughty? I won't do it! I'll be a good girl!" Alex rushed.
"You are a good girl."
"You're sending me away!" Alex yelled and started to cry. I sighed and pulled her to sit on my lap. "I don't want to go!" she screamed.
"I don't want you to either." I admitted and started crying too. I wiped my eyes and kissed her head over and over again.
There was a knock at the door and I looked down at Alex. "That's Daddy coming to take you and your things." I said.
"Don't let him!" Alex cried harder.
"You have to go. I'm sorry, baby. I can't help it," I told her gently. I just wish there was a way that I could say this to make her understand. "That's your dad." I muttered.
I went to answer it. Before I opened the door I glanced back to Alex and watched her cover her face with her hands. I saw Vic and Polly in front of me. I wiped my eyes and sniffed. Vic walked in and looked at my face. Then he wouldn't meet my eye. I saw his face drop considerably when he saw Alex.
"Are you ready, Princess?" Vic asked her.
"No!" Alex screamed. Vic just stood there in shock. I don't think Alex has ever behaved like that for him.
"Come on, Alex. Vic made your favourite dinner. We're even going to paint your room." Polly tried.
"I don't want to!" Alex screamed back.
I went over to Alex and she clung to me. After a few minutes I knew she wasn't going to stand. I picked her up and carried her over to the door. She only hugged me tighter.
"Shall I take her to the car?" Polly asked and I nodded. I passed Alex to Polly and she started to cry again louder.
"I'll miss you, Darling." I rushed and kissed Alex's cheek one last time before Polly carried her out of my apartment.
Then I broke again. I covered my face with my hands and cried. Then I cried harder. I cried and cried and cried. I felt Vic wrap his arms around me and I relaxed against him. I cried into his chest while he rubbed my back soothingly.
"Look after her." I said in between sobs. Vic kissed the top of my head and started to play with my hair.
"I never meant for it to go this far," Vic whispered. "I didn't even want sole custody."
"Then what did you want?" I choked.
"I just wanted to hurt you a little. I wanted Alex, but I just wanted to hurt you too." Vic admitted.
"I don't get it. You used Alex?" I asked angrily.
"No, no, no, no, no." he shook his head.
"Then what? I don't understand. I loved you Vic. And you wanted to hurt me. What did I do to you?"
"Nothing. I just had to hurt you, Zee," he said, so quiet I could barely hear him. "If I hurt you you'd hate me. You had to hate me. Then you could move on... God knows that's the only way I could move on and my feelings for you would finally die. I had to do it so I could give myself to Polly. One hundred percent, I mean." he admitted.
I just stood there for a while before my head lifted from his chest. "I could never hate you, Vic. I don't hate you. But right now I can't see the light in your face I love so much because everything is red." I said with gritted teeth. I backed away from him and clenched my fists. "You're taking away the only good thing in my life and it feels like I'm drowning. Now please just get Alex's stuff and leave because I am so close to screaming and really breaking down. I'd appreciate it if I could do that without the cause watching." I finished spitefully.
"I'm sorry," Vic rushed. I shook my head and he went to Alex's room.
I stood motionless until Vic came out. He was carrying a few bags and Alex's pillow. He looked at me sadly and I moved to hold the door open for him.
"Zee-" he tried, standing just outside my door.
"If you can't make it go away or make me feel even a little better please do me a huge favour and don't show me your pity, you condescending bastard." I hissed before I slammed the door in his face.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? Another serious, sad one. I promise the next is slightly lighter! Is anyone sick of these serious chapters? Favourite line? The response for this story has been amazing, I'm so grateful everyone! Thank you :)