Viviana p.o.v

It was a nice evening, Matt came to my house and we decided to see a film.
My sister and Tony were at Fuentes brothers’ house, because Mike decided to throw a party. I didn’t enjoy because I didn’t want to see the guys, for them I’m just an unknown people, they were more Sofia friends then mine and plus I didn’t wanna see Jaime.
Jaime was still an open wound, my crush for him was slowing down and I was more and more attracted by Matt. We had got something in common and we got along easily, it was like I knew him forever and not from just a week.
We were in harmony and I was pretty sure that I was falling for him and he was falling for me.
Suddenly someone was strongly knocking at the door, I exchanged a look with Matt and we stopped the dvd – the Aristocats – and I got up to see who was.
I had got a bad feeling, but I still open the door.
Jaime was in front of me, I became really pale.
“What do you want?”
I asked scared.
“Just talking, won’t you let me in?”
“Ur, ehm, sure.”
I let him stepped in the room, I closed the door and followed him. It was stuck in the doorway of Tony’s living room and was looking Matt like he was an alien.
“I didn’t know you were not alone.”
He said coldly.
“He’s just a friend.”
I gave Matt a sorry look and he understood.
“Okay, time for me to go.”
He left the house and me alone with my old crush.
“Who was that guy?”
“A friend.”
“Yeah..”
“You are not forced to believe me. Come on, what do you wanna tell me?”
All in a sudden he became unsure.
“I just want to talk about our relationship.”
He took a deep breath.
“Vivi, I still love you. Do you wanna be girlfriend?”
“What?”
“Well, I fell for you from the very first time we saw each other, but I was afraid that Jess wouldn’t accept our relationship so I didn’t tell you anything and I let the thing flow.
Then you know what happened and here I am, I’m sorry for all the things I said to you, I didn’t mean them I was just angry.”
“Jaime, there’s a problem.”
I said in a weak voice.
“I’m falling for that guy you saw before and now I don’t know what to do.”
“Please give us a try, if it won’t work you are free to come back to this guy.”
“I need time to think about it.”
“Okay, sure. I’ll give it to you:”
Then he left the house and I felt like – with him – all my happiness and calm left too, leaving me in a state of confusion and desperation.
Who did I have to choose?
I soon called Matt and I begged him to come here, he said he will come as soon as possible.
I waited for him sitting on the couch, still shocked for what happened and I woke up just when he knocked at my door.
I opened to him and I started to cry immediately, he hugged me and leaded me to the couch.
“What’s up, angel?”
“Jaime, he told me he still love me and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend, but I love you and I can’t choose.”
“Do you really love me?”
“Sure and that’s a mess.”
“Viviana, I think you should give him a try, even very short, but you should do it. There’s something between you and Jaime and as soon you clear the things up you’ll be better.
Maybe you don’t love him and you love me, maybe it’s the opposite. You gotta find out.”
“I don’t wanna hurt Jaime or you.”
“It will happen if you don’t chose, we can’t stay hung to you lifetime.”
“You are right. Maybe I will give him a try.”
“Good, so you’ll find out.”
He hugged me again and we started to see again the film at the point we stopped when Jaime came. I cursed myself and the fate for everything, why couldn’t I live a normal life?
When the Aristocats ended he left me alone and I wasn’t happy, I was about to cry and my sister found me in this state.
“What’s up, Viviana?”
She asked worried.
“Jaime came an told me that he loved me and he wanted me as girlfriend. He said we should give a try to our relationship and Matt said the same so I can clear up my mind, but I feel is sadness.”
My sister hugged me.
“I don’t know well that Matt but he said a right thing. There’s so much between you and Jaime that need to be cleared.”
“But I don’t know if I still love him, I think nope.”
“You’ll find out, if you don’t feel that things can work you can tell him why and break up.”
I sighed.
“But he will suffer.”
“He will get over it.”
I sighed again, I hated this situation.

The next morning I called Jaime and I asked him to meet in a bar.
I didn’t sleep too much, but my insomniac night made it clear that both Matt and Sofia were right: I gotta clear the things with Jaime if I wanted to be really free.
I wore a Paramore t-shirt and a pair of short with some studs and a pair of Doc Martens, the house was sleeping when I left it.
I arrived to the bar and found a sleepy Jaime sitting at a table.
“Hi.”
“Uh, hi!”
Then there was a moment of awkward silence.
“I thought about what you said to me and I talked both with Sofia and Matt. I decided to give this thing a try, but don’t expect too much it could be short.”
He sighed.
“I knew you would say a thing like this and I accept it. It will be what it will be. I blame myself for this situation. I never wanted to turn our relationship into a mess.”
“It happened, you can’t change the past.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Let’s try.
Do you wanna come to a date with me this evening?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Let’s see what happens to us in romantic situations.”
“Let’s try.”
I was not so sure that something good would come, but I promises a try and I never hold back on my promises.
It will probably hurt, but I must try . Jaime is not the only one guilty, there was also my fault this situation and my duty is to fix everything.
I hope it won’t be too painfull.

Notes

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