I Said I'd Never Let You Go

We sat at a picnic table in an awkward silence. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it. He did this a couple times before groaning and running his hands over his face and into his hair.

“Autumn I am so sorry about grabbing you like that. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never laid my hands on anyone before. Seeing you look so scared of me killed me. I hate that I made you feel like that. There are no words to express how sorry I am.” He says tugging at his hair.

“Tony I know you didn’t mean to; you were in the heat of the moment. I forgive you. With that being said I also can’t forget what you did. I don’t know if I can be confident that you won’t get that way again. I think I need to take some time for myself. I went from being with Austin to being with you. I need to decompress my thoughts and feelings.” I tell him.

“Just tell me nothing happened while you were on the bus with Austin.” He pleads.

“I can’t tell you that. We didn’t have sex; that I wasn’t lying about. He did kiss me though and I kissed him back. I was going to tell you when we went to lunch.” I looked down at my hands. “I’m sorry for cheating. One minute we were just talking then he was kissing me. I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t realize what was going on at first. And as soon as I snapped back to my senses I pushed him away.”

The look on his face was a mixture of hurt and jealousy. He looks up at me with a pained expression; like he doesn’t want to say what his thinking. I grab onto his hand rubbing my thumb over his knuckles. I was trying to reassure him that he could talk to me about whatever was on his mind without saying those clichéd words.

“Are you thinking about getting back together with him?” He whispers.

“I honestly don’t know Tony. After what he did… after what both of you did to me I don’t know what I should do. I care about both of you so much and I don’t want to hurt either of you. You are both amazing guys and I would be lucky to have either of you to call mine.” I explain. I feel my phone vibrate. I pull it out to see a new text from an unknown number. My stomach drops.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks. I must have made a face or something to alert Tony.

“After I kissed Austin I got a text from and unknown number. I am assuming it’s the same person that sent you that picture. Well they told me to tell you or they would. I just got another text from them.” I say holding out my phone to him.

'Cheating and Abuse? Such a healthy relationship. Keep away from Tony or you will be sorry bitch.’

He tosses my phone down on the table and quickly looks around. There are multiple people on their phones and looking at us, too many to be able to narrow it down to one person.

“Tony, don’t worry about it. I can handle this myself.” I tell him.

“This isn’t just about you. Someone sent those things to us to deliberately brake us up. This is my problem too.” He huffs.

“I have to go. We play shortly and I just wanted to talk to you to let you know that I forgive you. I heard what Vic said to you. You need to focus on you music and try to forget about me. I know how much you music means to you because it just as much as mine means to me. Please to it for me.” I stand and grab my phone.

“I’ll try to focus more, but there is no way I will be able to forget you.” He says standing up too.

“Thank you. I hate to see you so upset.” I place my hand on his cheek before brushing my lips against his. I turn and walk away from him.

The conversation didn’t go exactly as I was expecting, but I felt good about the outcome. Tony now knew that I didn’t hate him and that he was forgiven. I have a lot of thinking to do and I knew whatever decision I made someone was going to get hurt. It had to be the decision that I wanted though not what they wanted or what anyone else thought. If it wasn’t something I was happy with I knew I would regret it.

Notes

So she finally talked to Tony about what happened. And she got another text.

Who do you guys think it is?

<33
Josie