Fight Back

Date: 17th November 2014. Weight: 7st 9lbs. Stage: Four. Estimated time of survival: Four months.

I was sitting on the examination table and tried to smile at Phil. He sat next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. Then he opened my hand and placed a few mints in my palm. I had just been sick in the bathroom with Phil standing behind me and holding the hair out of my face. When I was finished I didn't have to slump against the wall, he helped me up and practically carried me back to the nurses room. He knew now how bad I was getting.
“Thanks,” I muttered and popped them all into my mouth. “Its a good thing I'm not slutting around, no one would have me with my breath."
“I don't know what to make of that.” Phil said and nudged me in the arm gently.
“Because of this big brother who happens to have medical knowledge role you’ve taken on?"
“I just don't like to think of you...” he trailed off.
“Slutting around?” I offered and he reluctantly nodded. “Shame I can't pass this on through mouth.” I said and he raised his eyebrows. “Did you hear about that man?”
“What man?” Phil asked.
“He slept with some woman and she gave him HIV. Then to get his own back he slept with a load of women to pass on the disease to the people that infected him.” I explained.
“And you'd consider doing that?”
“No,” I sighed and he gave me a small smile. “I'd have to kiss my parents and all of 'them' cousins for a start." I shuddered.
“I need to talk to you, Pippa." Phil said after a long pause.
“About?”
“You need to tell Hope.”
“I don't.”
“She has a right to know... as your friend." he said.
“You can't make me." I muttered.
“No, you're right. But I don't know what this desire is to shock everyone with your death.”
“What?”
“This is what its all about, isn't it? To shock everyone and affect people’s lives.”
“I don't know what you mean.”
“You do. You don't want to be forgotten?” he asked and I remained silent. “I understand that, but what I don't understand is why you want to hurt your friend by not telling her."
“I said no,” I sighed. “You don't understand, I can't admit it to myself, never mind anyone else.” I said cried weakly. My fingers brushed tears away but I felt a small sob rack my chest.
“Pippa." Phil whispered and wrapped his arm around me. He patted me on the back soothingly and kissed my hair.
Then I heard the door creak. I quickly wiped my eyes and saw who had walked in. Mike was standing in the door way and looked at me in Phil's arms. I saw him smirk and I pushed Phil away.
“Oh, sorry?” Mike said. “I was looking for the nurse.”
“She should be in the larger room." Phil explained politely while I glared at Mike.
“I've looked in there. I only need a bandage." Mike said and showed Phil his arm that had cut running from his elbow to mid forearm.
“I'll do it." Phil smiled and walked to his kit.
“Phil.” I warned.
“Okay, Dread,” he said and slid next to me. “Now what would you be doing here?” he added.
“Piss off." I snapped.
“Very mature.”
“What are you doing here? Did you cut your poor arm to sneak in here?” I mocked while Phil started to bandage his arm.
“I'm the desirable one, remember?”
“Oh yes, you are." I retorted sarcastically.
“The lowest form of wit." Mike said.
“That's mine."
“So.” he smirked.
“The lowest form of humanity.” I hissed, relaying his own line back to him.
“Touché." Mike grinned and Phil looked at us.
“Well, you're fine to go now.” Phil told him and Mike nodded.
“Thanks." he smiled and left.
Phil sat next to me and waited for me to speak. When I didn't he spoke first. “Will you tell him?” he asked.
“Who?”
“That boy?”
“What?” I muttered. “Mike Fuentes is a jerk. I hate him.”
“It didn't look that way.” Phil said and smiled knowingly.
“Don't you dare,” I laughed. “I'm not telling anyone."
“Just look at Alex." he tried.
“Dying sad because all his friends left? Because when he got sick they couldn't take anymore from him. They gave up on their dying friend.” I offered and he glowered at me.
“He didn't die sad. And what about your family? The way you treat them is disgraceful.”
“You know not to mention them.” I hissed.
“I know,” he repeated. “God, you're one of the most loving people I know, but right now I'm so pissed off with you, Pippa."
“Did you just swear?” I asked weakly and he pulled at his hair.
“Is that all you got from that statement?”
“Why are you doing this?” I asked.
“Your so vicious to Evelyn. She tries so hard with you.”
“She doesn't, she hates me." I muttered and blinked through tears.
“How many times has your Dad told you he loves you? What about your sister?" I haven't heard either of them say that since since September. "Evelyn loves you so much and you won't even give her the time of day."
“I don't need them!”
“Then who? Your friends? Hope? That boy? But you haven't even told them!” Phil said.
“They don't need to know!” I finally screamed.
“Why are you being so selfish?!” Phil hissed and my eyes widened. He never spoke to me that way. It was all so foreign to me. Phil was the one person I could rely on in my life and now he was against me.
“You don't have to worry about me any more! Maybe this thing will kill me before my next check up!” I spat nastily and walked out.
I felt more tears. I really have been crying far too much today, but I couldn't stop them. I ran outside. But as I ran out onto the football pitch I saw the last person I needed right now. Mike was standing with his hands in his pockets looking up at the sky. The hurt inside me turned to anger. Mike had caused this all, he had caused the one constant in my life to scream at me.
“You bastard!” I growled and ran to him – not caring if I fainted – and knocked him to the ground. I hovered over him and with my knees on the outside of each of thighs I brought my fists back and then started pounding his chest. “You prick!”
“Wha-” Mike tried and attempted to push me off of him. He looked at me and I started to cry harder. He took a firm hold on my wrists and held them.
“Its all your fault! Why did you walk in?! You had to fuck things up!” I started to sob and my chest shook.
“Stop!” Mike said sternly and let me rest my head on his chest. “Just calm down." he said softly and held me, stroking my hair gently.
“I c-c-can't,” I coughed. He just remained silent and let me cry into his shirt.
I don't know how long we stayed like that. I could have been for a while, or it could have been only a minute or so. But when I had calmed down enough I lifted my head up and saw him smiling sadly.
“Are you okay, Helena?” Mike asked gently and I stopped. “Come on, stand up." he said and eased me onto my feet. What was that look he was giving me? Pity probably.
“Mike,” I breathed. “God, I'm sorry."
“It doesn't matter,” he shrugged. “I need to talk to you.”
“Not you too." I muttered.
“You're actually a nice girl when you keep your mouth shut.”
“Are you trying to make me cry again.” I teased.
“Can't we screw all this shit, just try to stand each other?” Mike asked.
“Like friends?”
“Yeah, friends,” he agreed. “Just on a trial basis obviously.”
“Okay." I muttered and gave him a small smile.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? What about what Phil said? Do you agree? And they're friends now. How will it go? :)