Fight Back

Date: 28th November 2014. Weight: 7st 8lbs. Stage: Four. Estimated time of survival: Three and a half months.

I was reading one of Alex's journals. When Alex was diagnosed with Infirma he decided to keep a journal – his grown up word for a diary. He kept them for a while as well, I think he had seven in total. But before he died he passed them on to me, I'm not quite sure why. But now I was reading his final journal, the one that detailed him slowly dying. His words made me want to cry, for me it was like a very thick leaflet telling me what to expect. The main focus of Alex's final pages had shifted from the abandonment he felt from his friends and girlfriend, to the sheer pain. The pain was what frightened me most, and the numbness Alex finally described.
Every symptom Alex suffered with I was getting. Except I had two extra, the sickness and the heavy periods. Phil had told me that when my periods stop things will get worse, so even though I'm spending a fortune on tampons I don't mind. I don't know if the extra symptoms mean I'm worse off than Alex was, or just different like Phil keeps telling me. I've gotten used to the symptoms; the dizziness, the sickness, the headaches. I don't know if that is right or not. I just focus on the visible symptoms, the ones that everyone can see and could expose my secret. The weight loss is most noticeable, along with the further paling of my skin and tiredness.
The weight loss concerns me. I put Alex's journal down and checked nobody was around. We was meant to be doing gym, but as I'm in no fit condition they sat me on a bench behind the gym. I lifted my shirt up and pulled the waist band of my skirt down a little. I could see my ribs and my hips were protruding. I still had months left, what would I look like then?
Then I let out a shriek when two hands rested on my shoulders and pulled me backwards. The person held me and breathed in my ear. “Careful." they whispered and I saw Mike.
“Idiot.” I hissed but then remembered our deal.
“Did you forget again, Helena?" he questioned and sat next to me. I watched him look at my stomach and I quickly pulled my shirt down. “What’re you doing?”
“Nothing.” I smiled.
“You looked like you were readying yourself to flash your imaginary friends.” Mike laughed.
“No, I just want to lose some weight.” I lied quickly.
“A diet,” he echoed. “Why? You're not fat.”
“And you're not tactful.” I teased.
“You're going to be like two dimension skinny.”
“Two D skinny.” I laughed.
“Yeah, so please don't go on a diet.”
“I didn't know you cared so much for me, Mike."
“Serious love right here.” he joked.
“Anyway, what are doing? I thought you were in gym." I said.
“I was. I had to sit out, I became 'faint'.”
“Really?” I smirked.
“Yes, very faint. I probably have a tropical disease.”
“Likely. So are you taking inspiration from me then?”
“No, that wasn't get out of gym material, just plain scary.”
“Don't tell me everyone was scared for Dread head's welfare? The girl everyone talks about behind her back.”
“At least you're being talked about.” Mike shrugged and he was right. This is just what I wanted.
“Being faint can't be good for your image.” I said.
“What image would that be?” Mike smirked.
“The whole 'I am indestructible, 'devil may care', kiss me if you want a slice of perfect pie' thing you have going on."
“Perfect pie,” he repeated after a long pause. “I've never heard that one before.”
“That's because I just made it up.” I laughed.
“Is that why you have such good come back's, because you can think on your feet?”
“I have good come back's?”
“Did I just ask that?” he groaned and covered his face with his hands. “You'll never forget that?”
“Never,” I agreed. “And its just years of arguing experience.”
“Who's had to feel your wrath?”
“Many people.”
“So I was right, someone has fucked you up.” he muttered.
“You wasn't wrong, but I refuse to willingly tell you that you’re right."
“Still not very loving towards me.” Mike commented.
“You're my arch nemesis! Give me time.” I exclaimed. Mike laughed and I watched him, his eyes were creasing at the corners.
“So why did you choose me to become your arch nemesis?” he asked.
“You're perfect pie annoyed me,” I shrugged.
“My pie isn't that perfect."
“Yeah, I reminded you about that."
“I still don't know how you found all my shit out."
“What was it you called me? An extra.”
“Yeah, sorry for that by the way,” he smiled. “Who was that guy?”
“What guy?” I asked confused.
“The one in the nurses room.”
“Oh, Phil.” I muttered.
“Are you ... you know?” Mike asked nodding his head.
“You know, what?”
“Together,” he said and brought his two hands together for effect.
“Together?” I asked stupidly.
“Is he your special friend that you crawl on the examination bed with on a bad day to hop on the good foot and do the bad thing?”
“English please.”
“Are you fucking him?”
“He's twenty seven!” I exclaimed.
“That's a no then? I just walked in and you looked like you were on it.” Mike smirked.
“I'm not on it.” I laughed.
“Do you want to be on it?”
“No, he's just a really good friend. And its not like you saw anything steamy, we were hugging.”
“Hugs lead to other things.” Mike said in a sing song voice.
“With your girlfriends, normally break ups."
“Ouch,” Mike joked and brought a hand up to his chest. “Helena, like a knife through the heart."
“Shut up.” I said and punched him lightly in the arm.
"I'm wounded." he joked.
"Oh grow up."
"Can't." he said cheerfully and started to whistle tunelessly.
"Michael Christopher Fuentes shut up!" I finally yelled.
"How does Helena Pippa Jasper know my middle name?" he raised his eyebrows.
"How do you know mine?"
"That's classified information, Pippa," he grinned. I stopped for a second at the name. "Something wrong?" he asked.
"You called me Pippa."
"Don't you like being called Pippa?"
"No, I prefer the name to Helena. It's just, only Phil calls me Pippa."
"It's alright? I'm not stamping on any territory?"
"No, it makes me feel like we're friends."
"We are." he laughed.
“Mikey!” a voice called and Jaime jogged over to us. Mike turned to me and shrugged.
“I should run, I'll see you later, Pippa." he smiled and got up. I waved bye and watched him walk away. Being willingly nice to Mike was strange. I was so used to hating him.
I picked up Alex's journal and put in my bag. Then I headed back into the school. I felt tired. It was most likely due to all the smiling.
“Hi.” Hope said brightly when I walked into school.
“Hi Hope.” I nodded and leant against my locker.
“Did I see you laughing with Mike?” she asked suspiciously.
“Yeah, why?”
“You've just been at each others throats since September, and now you look really friendly.” Hope shrugged.
“We agreed on a friendship.”
“Why?” she asked bemused.
“I think we were both running out of come back's."
“So you didn't have a hot night of passion?”
“No." I said after a pause.
“Just friends.”
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“We'll see." Hope smirked.
We both looked up as Rosie Brigg ran towards us. I never liked Rosie, she was the classic beauty you looked at in magazines, but with a few to many freckles. She is also one of the whores I've referred to.
“Hope,” Rosie gushed. “Guess what!”
“What?” Hope asked happily and I rolled my eyes.
“I'm going out with Mike Fuentes.” she grinned. I looked at her and sighed. I don't know why but it really annoyed me that they were together. Mike was known for dating the girls in our school and also known for breaking up with them shortly after. But their new found relationship really got on my - probably infected - nerves.

Notes

Hey! I put this up because of you all asking me! What did you think? Will the friendship last? Will Mike and Rosie last? :)