I’m not sure what came over myself when I reached for her hand and found myself lacing my fingers through hers—and her lacing her fingers through mine. We had only known each other for a few days but I just felt comfortable around her. Ella just had this aura of serenity around her and it was a good change from the hectic life of touring, not to mention what’s going on between me and Tori lately. I guess we both needed time which was stupid because that’s all we’ve ever given each other. We talked like we had all the time in the world but we didn’t.

Ella was looking down, doodling something at the corner of her notepad. Every now and then she’d look up and give me a small smile before returning to her work. Her laugh was definitely something I wanted to hear again. It was like hearing a new song that you really liked and you were desperate to find it again because it triggered an emotion of some sort inside of you. You connected with it. Her laugh—although it was short and quiet—replayed in my head and rang through it. It gave me the impression that she could talk but I didn’t want to force her into it. If anyone knew what shyness was, it was me and I understood why she kept her silence.

The sun made her long eyelashes cast shadows over her face as she drew and I couldn’t help but admire her. She was pretty, but didn’t try to make herself stand out. I guess like myself, she didn’t want to be noticed to easily.

But the crazy thing was that she was standing out to me. Instead of trying to find Tori, I was seeing if I could find Ella as well. Today was a stroke of luck seeing her at her usual booth at the coffee shop. I had gone there every day—mostly just to see if she was there too. The barista who worked there noticed too when I’d come up to order a drink before I left.

Ella dropped her pen and straightened up, turning the notepad upside down so that I could see what she had drawn. A cartoon turtle was holding an ice cream cone and the ice cream had slipped off from the cone. The drawing wasn’t basic either—there were details of the shell on the turtle and the ice cream had lines of motion near it to make it appear it was falling. The chuckle from me escaped before I could stop myself.

“That looks awesome,” I told her. “If I had the money on me, I would possibly commission this.”

I handed her back the notepad so that she could write a response. You can keep it.

“Really?” I asked. She nodded and grinned, neatly tearing off the page and handing it to me. “You’re really talented, Ella,” I added, returning the smile. I folded up the paper and placed it in my pocket. “Uh, do you want to go somewhere else?”

She nodded again and packed the notepad away in her bag. I stood up and held my hand out to her. “Where to, little lady?”

With a hesitant glance she took my hand and she let me pull her up. Our hands were still together as we left the ice cream parlour and stepped into the Phoenix heat. And as we headed down the street. I was expecting her to let go but she didn’t—or was it me who didn’t want to let go of her? I didn’t know. I held her hand loosely, subliminally letting her know that it was okay if she did let go but at the same time I wished she would hold it for just a second more, because she was one of the things that was real to me right now. I didn’t know if Tori was real or not and I wasn’t sure if my friendship with her was true. I needed to see something with my own two eyes to believe in, and Ella was one of them.

But instead, Ella was holding on and possibly keeping me grounded for the time being. Tentatively, I squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back. I looked at her and she met my eyes, giving me a silent chuckle.

“You still haven’t told me where you wanted to go,” I pointed out casually, stroking the back on her hand with my palm. Her pale hand was a huge contrast to my slightly tanned and not so slightly tattooed one but I kind of liked it. Maybe when she was busy doing art and stuff, her hands would be covered in traces of paint or ink.

We were coming around the corner of a street where there were heaps of advertisements and posters stuck on a brick wall, displaying what was happening where around the area. Ella glanced at me suggestively, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged as if I knew what she was asking. I’ve been here and there while looking around the city, doing the odd tourist thing. But I was always alone in these escapades, with no one to show me where to go and what’s fun in this neck of the woods. “Anywhere you want,” I told her.

She walked up to the wall, pulling me forward with her. I kind of liked it, even though I knew I shouldn’t have. I just liked the way her fingers fit around mine. She scanned the various colourful pieces of paper on the wall until she focused on one that read ‘Sunset Fair: food, games, competitions, prizes and live music along with the stunning view of the Phoenix sunset. Fun for all people of all ages. Every day this week from 3pm till late at Mayfield Park.’

“That sounds like fun,” I commented. “Is Mayfield Park near here?”

I let go of her hand for her to take out her notepad and pen, her signature accessories. My hand was clammy once I let her go and I hoped that she wasn’t repulsed by it.

It’s like 20 minutes away. We can get a taxi or walk a bit and catch the bus.

“I don’t mind paying for a taxi,” I answered. After practically living in and spending almost the whole year on a bus, I wanted a change. Besides, I didn’t want anyone to notice who I really was. Ella didn’t point out anything, even though I had let it slip a few times. Maybe she hadn’t heard of us, which was good in my view. There had been false friendships formed while we had just started out, merely because we were doing well as a band and only getting better. Although it was ironic given the current situation we were in now, but I never wanted to tell Tori I was in Pierce the Veil because I didn’t want things to change between us.

She bit her lip at my reply, looking at me pensively. I feel bad though. You’ve been the one paying for everything.

I shrugged, shaking my head slightly. “Don’t worry about it,” I assured her. Ever since being in a successful band and starting up Key Street with Jaxin and Natalie, money wasn’t that much of a problem for me. “Besides,” I added, “you can win a prize for me at the fair.”

---

The air smelled of corndogs and deep fried donuts, wafting its way into our nostrils as we walked through the opened gates of Mayfield. It was almost five in the afternoon and the fair was already packed with people. Playing in the background was an upbeat country song, which I assumed was being performed by a group further in the distance. There were heaps of stalls already, ones that sold food and little trinkets. Where to begin?

I looked at Ella, who was taking in the sight with a grin on her face. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree, bright and excited. Without even thinking about it, I took her hand, leading her through the crowds of people and stalls. There were a few rides like a merry go round and Ferris wheels plus a few competitions such as a pie eating contest.

“Is there anything you wanted to see in particular?” I asked, a bit loudly than I usually did because of the music and general commotion in the fair. She shrugged, glancing at me to offer another smile. “That’s okay, we can look around for now. Just yell out if you want if you want to go somewhere specific,” I added jokingly. She shot me a look of light contempt and bumped into my shoulder as I squeezed her hand.

We first set off to the small enclosure of farm animals. There were calves and lambs and a pony for kids to ride on. There was a black lamb that we played with and Ella was also allowed to feed it through its bottle as if it was a real baby. Probably on another day, we could hang in the zoo or an aquarium.

After that, I picked up a scent of something I had been deprived of since landing in Phoenix—Mexican food. We spotted a Mexican food caravan and before I knew it, I was asking for the largest serving of nachos they had, which I shared with Ella. It made me miss San Diego and wonder about how the guys were doing back home. Jaxin would probably be working on the new line for Key Street and help Natalie run after their daughter Ruby; Jaime would be spending a majority of time with Jess and laying low while Mike would be having a holiday in some place like Vegas. And knowing Vic, he’d already be working on our new album.

“I wouldn’t have taken you for someone who was into Mexican food,” I admitted with a half-smile as she took another nacho with a generous helping of salsa. “Most people I know can’t handle the spice.”

She shot me an incredulous look. There’s a lot of Mexican restaurants in the city and my mom whipped burritos and tacos up all the time when I was growing up. My brother loves it more than I do.

“You have a brother?” I asked. Being an only child made me curious and fascinated of the sibling bond and rivalry, I saw it in Vic and Mike all the time which was quite amusing to watch.

She nodded as she wiped the corners of her mouth neatly. Yes, he was so annoying when we were kids but we’re good now. He’s the older one by three years and lives in Mesa with his wife and son. Do you have any brothers or sisters? she asked with a smile.

I shook my head, reaching for another nacho. “It’s just me but I have a few really close friends who I consider as my brothers. They’re okay, I guess,” I chuckled, thinking about the antics and pranks we pulled together and on each other while touring around the world. “Hey, speaking of friends, did you ever catch up with the one you were supposed to pick up at the airport?”

She shifted uncomfortably on her stool, looking away from me.

“Oh, well uh…crap. I shouldn’t have asked. That was pretty rude of me. I’m sorry, Ella,” I apologised softly, feeling myself retreat back to my classic shy and quiet self. I wasn’t sure, but this whole day was like I was a different person ever since seeing her in the coffee shop. A more confident and outgoing person. Usually, I’d avoid huge crowds like this mass of people at the fair—mostly because I didn’t want to be seen by anyone who could notice me and partially because I still felt nervous around too many people I didn’t know.

She turned back to me with a gentle and sympathetic expression. She shook her head slightly, the corner of her lips lifting just a tiny bit. Don’t worry about it, you did nothing wrong. We can pretend and forget that just happened.

I nodded, inwardly relieved about how she was so easy going. She also didn’t pry for more, unlike some people who wouldn’t shut up with their questions until they got the information they wanted.

“Where do you want to go next?” I asked, desperately changing the subject. There were heaps of stalls and activities going on. It seemed as if a day wasn’t enough to try out everything at the fair.

She bit the corner of her lip while tapping her fingers on her notepad. I still have to win you a teddy bear, don’t I? Maybe there’s a contest or something going on where I can win you one hahaha, she wrote before sipping from a can of soda.

“You can’t crap out on a small, midget bear either,” I replied. “It has to be a fairly large one,” I added, laughing a bit and she joined along with her silent one.

Once we had finished eating, we continued roaming around the fair. Our fingers were still linked together. The crazy thing was that we weren’t even thinking about it, well, I wasn’t at the least. The action just seemed automatic just how two magnets with opposite charges would stick together.

We passed a cart of balloon animals where some kids rushed passed us to get some, knocking off Ella’s balance and making her crash into my side. She looked up at me apologetically, the roses in her cheeks beginning to show.

“We can pretend and forget that didn’t happen either,” I said shrugging, even though I liked her being closer to me despite it lasting for a few moments. I knew I should be satisfied with being able to hold her hand but part of me wanted to pull her in closer by having my arm around her shoulders.

We were passing an open part of the field about fifty yards long. It was lined like sprint lanes with two people on each one. Towards the end was a finish line, where a man with a microphone and the crowd were standing. Behind him was a table of prizes, including one medium brown bear about the size of a toddler.

“Alright folks, we are about to begin the couples’ piggyback race in a few moments, we just need one more couple to fill the lanes,” the man explained as we slowed our pace to watch. He had a bit of a southern drawl. “Come on, now, don’t be shy. Everyone will win something, one lucky couple could walk away with one romantic weekend getaway at the fancy Clarendon Hotel! Who will it be?” He scanned his audience, but no one came forward. Then he looked right us. “Will it be this young couple, with the tattoos and red hair? Come on down, you two lovebirds!” he called, ushering us over while the people around started cheering us on.

I looked at Ella, who looked sheepish and slipped her hand out of mine. I scratched the back of neck.

“Come on, y’all. Give these two a hand!” the host enthused and the cheers grew louder. I looked at her and she shrugged, making me shrug back. We slowly made our way to the empty lane. The people beside us looked excited and ready to win.

“Now,” the guy continued as a crowd grew to some sort of hush. “The rules are simple. One half of the couple has to carry the other one on their back across the field. If you drop your partner then you are disqualified and if you step over to another couple’s lane you are disqualified as well. Other than that, the first couple to get across the finish line wins. Couples, you have two minutes to decide who’s piggybacking who before the race begins.”

The other racers around us were talking amongst themselves. “Well, I regret eating that much,” I joked and she shot an amused smile. “So, uh, do you want to get on my back?”

I turned around and lowered myself a bit. She first wrapped her slim arms over my shoulders and I hoisted her up from behind her legs. This wasn’t weird at all. She was pretty light or maybe she was an unfair comparison to Jaime, who’d jump on my back to startle me.

“Is that alright?” I asked her, jogging on the spot so she’d get used to what it would feel like when I was running. I wasn’t that bad in PE in high school but it had been so long ago. I guess I was fit from performing on stage.

Ella leaned her head forward a bit so I could see her nod from the corner of my eye and patted my shoulder supportively.

The contest host whistled, drawing our attention to him. “Racers, get into position.”

“We better win that teddy bear,” I told her and I imagined that she smiled again.

He stepped away from the crowd, holding a racing pistol towards the sky. “On your marks, get set…go!”

As he fired the pistol, all I could focus on was the end of the lane. Running with Ella on my back wasn’t as hard as I thought, but it still wasn’t all that easy either. Sometimes I felt her slip and I would have to hoist her up, which made us slow down a bit. Despite that, we managed to come second place, meaning that we got first pick from the prize table, other than the couple that deservedly won first place. Some of the competitors didn’t even make it halfway through the race.

“Take your pick,” the host said to us once he led us to the table. I nudged Ella lightly and she grinned, reaching for the bear.

“If only he was a toy Raphael,” I joked, making her grin again. I liked her smile. It wasn’t fake or showed any sign of her forcing it out. She showed her genuineness and it suited her perfectly.

She held it out to me but I shook my head. “You can keep him. I think deep down you want him more than I do.”

Ella bumped into me again, giving me another quiet but audible laugh, which set the part of my arm which she touched on fire.

---

The cab driver stopped at the address that Ella had given me and this time she paid, even though I told her that she didn’t have to but she insisted after I had spent almost all the cash I had at the fair. We went on the Ferris wheel after the piggyback race to relax and we could see a bird’s eye view of the whole fair. As the evening rolled on, more people had come and it had definitely gotten busier. A band was playing and there were people dancing in the middle of the floor. While we were on top of the wheel when it stopped to let other people on, I began to swing our pod which startled Ella, making her grab for my arm as she clutched tightly on the bear.

We had also gone to some whack-a-mole machines and had a competition to see who could whack more within the allotted time. The score was fairly close but she beat me by a mere four moles. When she goaded about it afterwards, I gave her the ‘I let you win’ excuse. The majority of the evening was spent looking around the fair and getting the odd item from the odd store. I got a few new guitar picks.

Ella’s apartment building was within walking distance to the café where I would always see her so I could easily walk back to the Clarendon afterwards. Hers was on the third floor and I walked her to her door. The place was neat and seemed friendly enough.

This is me. Today was fun, it was a good thing that I bumped into you again, she wrote nimbly across the paper, smiling at me when she handed it to me.

“Yeah, we should definitely hang out again while you’re procrastinating,” I chuckled. “Tomorrow?” I suggested, probably a bit too quickly and eagerly. “Well, like, if you’re not busy or anything…” I added, placing my hand on the back of my neck. Like almost every person that I’ve met, she made me nervous but unlike most, she didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

I’ll be free. Usual spot? she asked. Around 11?

I nodded and smiled, glad that this wasn’t going to be the last time that I would see her. “Sounds good.” I pointed to the teddy bear that we had won at the fair earlier. “Have you thought of a name for him yet?” I asked, patting its head.

Ella nodded and handed the bear to me as she wrote on her notepad. The bear smelled of fresh chocolate brownies, complementing the colour of it.

His name is Sir Henry Cocopaws IV, she replied, her hazel eyes dancing with laughter.

“Sir?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “How did he get his knighthood?”

It’s in honour of the knight who won him. But this knight didn’t come in shining armour. He came covered in rad tattoos on a flying turtle called Raphael.

I shrugged, feeling the heat rush to my cheeks for probably the thousandth time today. “So I guess that made you the princess, huh?” I swear this whole day I was borderline flirting with her or crossing a line I wasn’t supposed to. It was baffling when I wondered why she hadn’t left yet. Surely I was pushing it, taking advantages when I should be holding myself back. Karma would pay me back by making me fall down the last flight of stairs or something.

She shrugged as well, leaving not much of a reply. I gave Sir Henry back to her and she held him in the circle of her slender arms. “At least he’ll protect you,” I whispered, which made her smile again.

God, it was beautiful. Her smile had the glow of an illuminated lake, glimmering in the light of the moon. I couldn’t explain it, but there was just something about her that felt so comforting, so assuring. Like she was home.

“I better get going,” I said quietly, sort of wishing that I didn’t have to. This was the most fun I’ve had in days. It was stress free. I wasn’t caring about Tori and where we were going in our so called friendship and I was able to relax. Ella just made everything bad just fade away, like the sun would clear away grey clouds in the sky.

She nodded slowly—and dare I say a bit wistfully too.

And God only knows what came over me as lifted up my hand to stroke her cheek. But I don’t think even he could explain what followed after that. Before I could realise what I was doing, my mouth was pressed against hers, my hands holding her face. I stepped closer, closing the small space that was between us to nothing. I didn’t want to let her go. She faintly tasted of the sweet cotton candy from the fair and smelled like pure vanilla—not overly exotic, but intoxicating enough to draw your attention.

And she was pulling me closer to her as well. She dropped the teddy bear, placing her arms over my shoulders. I could have lifted her up—it’s not like I haven’t done it before. I could feel her smile as she kissed me back and I felt like I could fly. Her slim, elegant fingers ran through my hair while I dropped my arms to lock my arms around her by the small of her back. She was so small, so fragile, but at the same time, so very strong. She made me feel weightless. All these thoughts that had been weighing me down these past couple of days vanished because of her. She made me forget. She was the bliss that came from ignorance. A nagging but constantly fading voice known as my conscience told me that this could have been me just trying to forget Tori—to replace her. But I wasn’t. It was just that she wasn’t the top of my priorities right now like she was last week.

Maybe there was a silver lining to this disappointing start to me being here in Arizona. Probably not seeing Tori wasn’t so bad. Maybe it didn’t matter that much to not have met her right away.

Because I had found Ella instead.

Slowly—reluctantly—I pulled away, only to rest my forehead on hers. I didn’t want to let her go just yet, not until the memory of her lips on mine are imprinted in the deepest depths of my mind. Our faces weren’t even inches apart. I could feel her light breath against me and the beating of her heart, fluttering like the wings of a bird. In the heat of this moment she seemed irresistible, something I wanted but couldn’t ever call mine. I didn’t want to leave, not without her near me.

“You don’t want to pretend that didn’t happen either, do you?” I asked slightly nervous, feeling queasy with the growing butterflies in my stomach. I meant it as a joke, but I was figuratively crossing my fingers hoping that I hadn’t screwed up everything with whatever this was.

I could feel the small shake of her head against mine and her fingers lightly trace my cheek and jawbone as if I was something valuable and precious. But she didn’t realise that it was her that was rare and beautiful, something one of a kind—one in seven billion.

“Um,” I whispered, dazed and breathless. “Do you want me to go?”

The words hung in the air and silence passed between us. Her silence was so loud, so mesmerising. She didn’t have to say anything but yet she was so easy to understand. Even though I was positive her answer would be yes, I held on to the thin string of hope.

She shook her head again, breathing contently, dreamily. She looked into my eyes with her rusty hazel ones, giving out another short gasp of a laugh. I chuckled back, feeling myself getting lost, feeling myself sink. Ella seemed like one of those people who were overlooked by others but that didn’t matter because that mean that I could have her attention myself, if she’d let me.

What was happening to me? Why was there this constant feeling that I was falling but not? It could be just all in my head. It probably was all in my head. I had to stop overthinking all the time.

But I can’t help it. Whether I liked it or not, I was falling in love with the wrong person. When I believed that I loved Tori, it didn’t occur to me that I could have feelings for someone else—someone who I’d have to leave eventually. I couldn’t let that get to me right now. What’s important was what we had in the present, or what I’d let myself believe we had.

Moments passed again, and time rolled on like the synchronised beating of our hearts. And then I heard one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. It was sweeter than the strum of a guitar, gentler than the sound of rain.

“Stay,” she murmured.

Notes

I feel not enough happened in this chapter, sorry guys. i kind of suck at writing.

To everyone who had graduated recently (like the better half of this story ;) ) CONGRATS!!!!!! I’m so proud of you!!!! and to those as well who are free from school at the moment, enjoy your break and I hope that you guys get some well deserved rest. And to those who are like me and are in the middle of their school year, chin up kid, we’ll get through this together :)

Btw:

-I don’t know if there really is a Mayfield Park in Phoenix
-I’m sorry for the inconsistency with my spelling and Claire’s spelling. I’m from New Zealand so I my spelling would be a tad different tehehe
-I had to google how long 50 yards was

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