The “few days” that I had promised Kayla had slipped away. I hardly cared, though. The past two weeks have been relieving. I’ve written several songs, only a few good enough to actually consider for the album but I had a lot of material to work with. And with that I released a lot of thoughts; I felt insanely better. Mike was probably pissed, but I couldn’t find it within me to care right now. I was in my own little world up here, in the woods, the cabin still smelled like fresh cedar wood and my mind was at ease. I really needed this.

But I knew I had to go home eventually—I couldn’t separate myself from real life forever.

It was about seven thirty at night; the sun was beginning to set in the horizon, a deep orange peering through the mass of tree trunks outside. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, stretching my arms out. I took a deep breath and then pushed my palms into my thighs, standing up. I didn’t want to come down to San Diego right splat in the middle of the day, so I decided now would be a good time to get going—that way I would get there late when hopefully Mike was asleep. I wasn’t interested in facing him and possibly having an argument. I’d rather just sneak in and take care of everything in the morning.

I had kept the cabin fairly clean, minimal groceries scattered around and I never got around to fully unpacking. I stuffed everything into my duffle bag, zipping it up and pushing it over towards the door. I then made sure all of my files on my computer were saved and closed, and then I turned my computer off, folding it shut and sliding it into its case. I organized everything together, making sure I cleaned up and didn’t forget anything. I did a few rounds of the small cabin, double-checking that I was leaving it the way I arrived. I left a nice, standard tip for the cleaning service—they always came around after anyone stayed at a cabin—on the counter.

I scooped up my stuff, my duffel bag on my right shoulder and my left hand holding my guitar in its case. I yawned and exited the cabin, shutting the door behind me. I shifted the stuff on my right shoulder, digging through my pocket for my car keys. I unlocked the car and opened the back seat, tossing my duffle bag onto the far seat and gently securing my guitar case in the one nearest to me. I took my hat off, ran my fingers through my hair, and then put my hat back on, stretching out a little before I got on the road.

As I drove home with music quietly playing in the background, I let my thoughts wander a little. I should have been more stressed about going home—but I wasn’t. The two weeks obviously did the trick. I no longer felt conflicted about my feelings, plus I had gotten a lot done so I felt like I was already ahead on the new album. I was still worried about Mrs. Perry, but she was in great hands. Alyssa returning home stirred things up a bit, but that didn’t—rather, I couldn’t let it—change things. I still loved Kayla. It would be unfair to her if I suddenly stopped loving her just because Alyssa was back. That wouldn’t be possible, anyway; I’ve been with her for over a year and a half, and feelings couldn’t go away overnight. I knew that very well.

Of course I still cared about Alyssa. I could never completely forget what we shared. But we were different now, the years and space apart had messed us up, I was moved on and I wasn’t sure if she was but I hoped she was. She was the one who chose to go to New York, anyway. Obviously things had to have changed between us, otherwise we would have never split in the first place. I didn’t know what it was exactly but things weren’t going to be the same between us—I had to accept that.

I hoped that the two weeks while I was away gave her time to think about things too, especially since her breakdown the first night of being home, when I had succumbed to caring for her and really confused not only myself but probably also her. I hoped she felt better now. I hoped she was adjusting to being back home. The first night was a shock to both of our systems, but things, hopefully, were calmed down.

I had spent the entire two weeks rationalizing these things in my head. It took a while but I was glad I did—I felt better and I wouldn't have been able to do it with people surrounding me.

At about 10pm, I was pulling into the driveway. I shut my car off and picked up my bags and guitar case. I carefully unlocked the front door and slipped inside, setting my stuff by the door to deal with later. I yawned and stretched out, turning to go towards my room.

“Vic,” I heard. I sighed and closed my eyes, turning to Mike’s stern voice.

“Oh, hey, Mike,” I greeted him.

“Do not oh hey me!” he exclaimed.

“Okay,” I laughed a little.

“Do you think this is funny?” he yelled, shoving me against the wall just as the light flicked on.

“Woah!” I objected, my eyes wide.

“We were worried sick!” he shouted.

“We?” I looked around dumbly—there stood Jaime, Tony, and Alyssa. “What are you doing here?” I asked—I meant to ask it generally, but it came out more directed at Alyssa. I shook my head and peeled my eyes away from hers.

“You guys are overreacting. I’m a big boy,” I declared, chuckling a little and shaking my head.

“You could’ve fucking told me!” Mike yelled; he was fuming.

“You could’ve fucking opened your eyes and see that my shit was gone! I did tell you I was writing, Jesus fucking Christ!” I snapped. I knew I was being unnecessary, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Two weeks Vic! You can’t just disappear for two weeks!” he argued.

“Yes, I can! And I did! And I will!”

“Did you take your meds?” he narrowed his eyes.

“Fuck you Mike, of course I did,” I growled.

“Are you sure? Are you sure you didn’t sneak away for two weeks so you could—”

“Fuck you,” I said again, my voice dangerous. “Thank you for your confidence, Mike. It means a lot. I don’t have a problem with taking my medication, asshole, and you know that,” I gritted my teeth. “I got a lot of shit done, you should be happy for that,” I added.

“You promised!” My head shot around to follow Tony’s voice, shouting at me. “You promised mom you wouldn’t do this, Vic,” he glowered at me.

“Alright, alright,” I sighed in defeat. “I didn’t mean for it to turn into two weeks. It won’t happen again. Now, since you’re all ganging up on me I’ll be going to Kayla’s,” I announced, shaking my head. With my words, my eyes flickered to Alyssa’s curiously and unintentionally—she looked a little upset, whether that was because of my running away or my blatant reference to Kayla in front of her, I didn’t know.

I knew I was being an asshole, but I wasn’t in the mood for shit. I shook my head and turned away; I couldn’t get Alyssa’s hurt face out of my head. The last thing I needed was for all of my feelings of confliction to come crashing back down on me, not even ten minutes after getting home.

“Vic, don’t,” Mike grabbed my arm.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I muttered, shrugging him off and going back to my car.

I angrily slammed my car door, then I sped away to Kayla’s. I didn’t know if she would let me in but I had to face her eventually.

When I got there, I clicked the buzzer into her apartment.

“Yeah?”

“It’s Vic.”

“Kay’s showering,” Jen said.

“Alright. Let me in, then,” I said. With that, the door unlocked. I walked slowly up the stairs. When I got to their apartment, Jen had the door open and was already standing there.

“Hello, Vic,” she said.

“Hi, Jen,” I said impatiently. “May I come in?”

“I guess so,” she sighed, twirling her hair in between her fingertips. I walked forward but she stayed in the doorway, placing her hand on my chest and tapping her fingers.

“C’mon, Jen. I’m not in the mood for this tonight.” She pouted and moved to the side, dropping her hand. I sighed and shook my head, walking in and going to Kayla’s room.

I closed and locked the door behind me. I kicked off my shoes and leaned against the door, waiting for her. I couldn’t hear the shower running so I figured she was just coming out.

A few seconds later, her bathroom door opened, and she walked out. She had her hair up in a towel along with a towel wrapped securely around her body—she didn’t see me at first, as she rubbed her hands together and gently smoothed moisturizer over her clear face.

“Kay,” I murmured.

She jumped, looking at me in surprise. Then, her eyes narrowed. She frowned and walked over to me, lifting her hand and then a stinging sensation enveloped my face as she slapped me. I deserved that.

“What the fuck, Vic?” she spat. I bit my lip and frowned regrettably.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Just sorry? God, Vic! Do you know how worried I was? Even your brother called me! That never happens!” she exclaimed.

I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed. “I know,” I groaned. “I didn’t mean to.”

Kay crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me intently. “I don’t want you to think I’m okay with these kinds of things. But expressing anger won’t solve anything. What’s done is done,” she said with a small sigh. She didn’t look too impressed with me, though.

“I’m really sorry,” I said again. She shook her head.

“You’re not that sorry, Vic. You feel better, don’t you?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, yeah I do…”

“Okay, well…” she trailed off, unsure as to what to say. I knew I wasn’t putting her in a good position; I felt bad for that. But no matter what those two weeks away were definitely needed. I could have handled it better but there was nothing I could do about it now.

“You’re cute when you’re trying to hold back anger,” I grinned a little, stepping closer to her. She shook her head grumpily. Gently, I reached up and took the towel off of her head. I ran my fingers through her damp hair. “How long are you going to stay mad at me?” I asked sweetly, gently kissing her jaw. She shrugged her shoulders and stood there stubbornly. I responded by stepping closer to her and wrapping my arms around her. I parted her hair in the back and tenderly ran my fingers up and down her spine. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly into her bare shoulder, followed by a small kiss. Kayla sighed.

“I guess it’s okay,” she mumbled. “But you promise it wasn’t because of anything I did?”

“No, baby,” I cooed. I peppered kisses on her shoulder and the crook of her neck, then across her collarbones. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” I assured. She sighed a little and nodded. I pulled my head up and gently kissed her lips. She didn’t kiss back at first but a few pecks later she gave in. She slid her hands up my chest and gripped the tops of my shoulders, opening her mouth into a kiss. I responded eagerly, slipping in my tongue and pulling her closer to me, my hands at the small of her back.

She knocked my hat off of my head, tangling her fists into my hair briefly. When she loosened her hold I pulled away, pulling my dark grey cotton t-shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor. I kissed her again and, before I could stop her, she slid my belt off and started to unbutton my khakis. She pulled them down and I kicked them off the rest of the way; I only did that because Kayla was obviously naked under her towel and her being that vulnerable to a fully clothed me when her towel dropped made me a little uncomfortable. I just wasn’t that kind of guy. Although I intended not to take anything from her tonight—I wanted to make it all about her. I owed her that much, being off the grid for two entire weeks.

Slowly, I tugged on the top of her towel, pulling it apart and then letting it drop. She shivered a little as the cold rushed across her body, and I noticed there were still a few stray droplets of water on her skin. I ran my hands down her back and swiftly lifted her up, my hands under her thighs and walking towards her bed. She had her arms linked around my neck again and I sucked on a single spot on her neck. When I set her down on the edge of her bed, I placed a small kiss on the mark I had accidentally left.

Kayla growled at me, knowing what I had just done and I grinned half-apologetically. Before she could object any further, I kissed her lips hard, resting my hands on her hips and giving them a squeeze. Kayla leaned forward into me and her hands tugged at the hem of my boxers. I swatted her fingers away, though, determined to think about her pleasure only. She didn’t have time to ask any questions before I connected my lips to her chest. I massaged her upper thighs firmly while I kissed down her body, slowly going down to a kneeling position in front of her, her legs still dangling over the edge of the bed.

I looked up at her; her eyes were dropped and her back was already slightly arched, her hands gripping the sheets and supporting her body and I hadn’t even gotten to the good part yet. I chuckled a little and kissed the top of her thigh. I ran my hands up her body and then back down, pulling her legs apart even more. I kissed the inside of her thighs, tracing my tongue around her skin slowly. She squirmed as I inched my way closer and closer to her center.

“Vic,” she whimpered a little. I glanced back up at her, she was gnawing on her lip, staring down at me.

I kept eye contact with her and licked my lips. “Impatient, are we?” I asked lowly, even though I knew it wasn’t a very fair question to ask.

She growled, agreeing with my thoughts. “Two weeks, asshole.”

---

“I love it when you do that,” she sighed, falling back onto the bed and closing her eyes contently. I grinned and climbed up onto the bed, hovering over her and then gently laying on top of her.

“I know,” I smirked. She opened her eyes and bit on her lip. She twirled her fingers around my chest and then tried to go for my boxers again, but I caught her hands before she could pull them off.

“Let me return the favor,” she pouted, kissing the side of my head, her breath hot on my ear.

“Do you hear yourself?” I laughed. “I’m the last person you should be giving sexual favors to right now.” I couldn’t let her forgive me that easily. I felt too guilty for being distant from her—she didn’t deserve it. There was a tiny part of me that wished she did deserve it though, maybe to rationalize why my confused feelings were okay, but really Kayla was generally wonderful. In fact, I probably should feel more guilty about going away like that than I really was, but I had spent all that time trying to relieve my head, I wasn't about to put it to waste and get worked up over something that I couldn’t change. I guess I felt more selfish than anything—about my relationships and going away for two weeks without any plan or acknowledgement—so, here I was, trying to compensate for it.

“But you’re the only person I should be giving sexual favors to,” she pointed out.

“Oh, right,” I chuckled and kissed her cheek, laying down next to her. “But you get my point.”

“Yeah, I do,” she said. “But you don’t have to punish yourself, y’know.” She rolled closer into me and reached her arm around, brushing her fingers through the hair on the back of my head. “You don’t have to prove anything,” she said. Oh, but I do, I thought. I had a lot to prove. I had a lot to make up for.

“Oh,” I said evenly. “Well, in that case, have at it,” I teased with a provocative wink. She laughed out loud and rolled her eyes, playfully shoving my shoulder.

We laid quietly with each other. Kayla rubbed my back and I closed my eyes. “How’s your head?” she asked.

“Good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…” I opened my eyes. “I probably could have handled it differently, but,” I just shrugged my shoulders.

“It’s just your personality,” she reasoned.

“What is?” I furrowed my eyebrows.

“You can’t help it. You shut everything and everyone out when you get stressed or overwhelmed with thoughts or things to do. It’s okay though,” she explained.

“Yeah, I do do that,” I agreed with a nod. It’s just me piercing the veil, I thought. “I’m really sorry for hurting you,” I murmured.

“I know you are. It’s fine, you didn't really,” she said.

My mind flashed over to Mike, Tony, and Alyssa. They had been worried, all gathered at my house, waiting for me to get home. Kayla, here, she understood but only to an extent. She probably wouldn’t have been as forgiving if she knew my past problems that seemed to enjoy haunting me on occasion. That was why I dreaded having to go home tomorrow, to face the others. They probably assumed the worst. They knew that, even though I haven’t been bad in a long time, I could get really bad. They knew my potential.

“Shh,” Kayla cooed. I closed my eyes and sighed, burying my head into her shoulder. Kayla really was sweet, she was a great girl, but how long could I let this go on, with her in the dark, unaware of how bad things have been and could become?

Notes

Sorry it's been a while! But please let me know what you think! I have the next chapter written and it's pretty dramatic ;) haha and I like the next chapters better than this one so just hang in there lol

Thanks for reading guys! xo