I Never Meant To Be Your Pain

Damn this movie was getting intense. We’d paused it three times for Ava and Hilary to take bathroom breaks and once more so they could make popcorn. Ava was currently hiding her face in my chest as another torture scene came on.
“What’s wrong Ava?” Gabriel asked sarcastically.
“Shut up G,” she muttered, balling up my shirt in her fist as she hid her eyes behind the other hand. Occasionally she’d peek through two fingers but close them when the movie got too gory. I gently slid my arm around her hips and pulled her closer to me. She rested her head on my shoulder as I felt her body relax. Gabriel got up off the couch and stretched as the movie ended.
“Well, I’m going to bed guys,” Hilary got up off the couch.
“Me too.” Ava got up and gave the two of them hugs. Gabriel waved to me.
“Goodnight Perry.” I nodded at him as he and Hilary started up the stairs. Ava turned the TV off and looked to me.
“Are you staying the night?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. I stood up, towering over her small frame.
“Do you want me to?” I shrugged, putting my hands in the pockets of my black skinny jeans. She smiled and nodded, turning off the light. She tugged on my arm as we walked through her dark house and laced her fingers with mine as I pulled my hand out of my pocket. She pulled me upstairs and to her room before softly shutting the door while I sat down on the end of her bed. She handed me a pair of pajama bottoms that I kept at her place as I unbuckled my belt and took off my pants. “Your brothers alright with me staying the night here right?” I asked.
“You’ve done it in the past and he didn’t seem to mind.” She replied; her back turned to me. I nodded as she pulled off her shorts and tank top, throwing them to the laundry basket in the corner of her room. I took off my shirt and balled it up, noticing that Ava was acting strange again.
“Ave?” She turned around and looked at me with her eyebrows raised. “Are you alright?” She nodded and grabbed the shirt I had in my hand; pulling it over her head.
“This thing’s like a fucking dress on me,” she giggled looking down at it.
“Ava,” she looked to me as I frowned.
“What?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” I reminded. She sighed.
“Nothing is wrong Tony.”
“Are you mad your brother said you could go with us?”
“What? No,” her voice got higher indicating that she was lying. She looked down to the floor knowing I knew her all too well.
“Please tell me… you don’t have to go with us, ya know.” I said softly. She ran her hand through her hair and shook her head.
“No… I want to go with you Tone. It’s just…” she stopped talking and looked down to me like she wanted to cry.
“What? What’s going on?”
“I don’t want to be a burden Tony,” she whispered.
“What are you talking about? The guys love you,” I smiled as she shook her head.
“I wasn’t going to tell you…” now she was crying. My stomach dropped.
“Tell me what?” she put her hand over her mouth while her body trembled. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her as she cried.
“You’re going to be disappointed in me Tony.”
“No I won’t. I promise.” She looked up to me then down to my chest.
“When you were gone I started using again.” My lips pressed together forming a line.
“Using what?” I had known about her past with drugs, but as I far as I knew, she’d been done with them for a year now. She shrugged.
“Pills…” she choked out. I sighed. “I knew you’d be mad at me…”
“No, no, no. I’m not mad at all Ave.” I leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Does your brother know?” She nodded. I shook her shoulders, making her look up at me. “Everything’s going to be okay, beautiful. I’m here for you, always.” I brushed my thumbs underneath her eyes, collecting the last of her tears. “Let’s get some sleep.” She nodded as I pulled her over to her bed. I wrapped my arms around her and kept her close to me while she snuggled into my chest.
“I love you Tone.”
“I love you too Ave. Sleep good. We’ll get everything figured out in the morning.” She nodded and gently pressed her fingertips down between my ribs before falling asleep.

Notes