"Kellin! Kellin Hey" I could hear Mike calling out my name. ugh I thought he left.

I opened my eyes and I sat upright. The wall supporting my back. I notice He was sitting the same position like me.

"Huh? what?"

"I’ve been calling you for a while now."

"I thought you left?" I asked.

"I did. Like two hours ago." He looked at me confuse.

"Really? two hours ago? I didnt know it was that long." I admitted.

"Wow. my brother really messed you up." He said to himself but loud enough for me to hear. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Look since you didn’t wanna come with me, I went to go buy us some taco bell, I didnt know what you wanted though so I got you both taco and burrito" He said waving the bag over to my face.

OMG yes! Mike your such a saviour.

"uhh- thanks" I said giving him a slight smile. He took his and handed the bag to me, I took mine.

"Sure. no problem man. You must be starving" He said while biting his food.

"Yeah" I said while taking a big bite off of my burrito.

"So when exactly is your last decent meal?" He asked again. I could tell he really is concern about me.

"well to be honest. I cant really remember" I admitted. he looked at me wide eyed.

"seriously?!"

"yeah. seriously"

"Man you gotta eat more. OK like starting today? " Mike said

Wow why did he suddenly cared?.. When He first found out about the accident and the lost of Vic, I remember him barging in my hospital room, telling me that I should’ve been the one who should have disappeared and that it was my fault because of the fight Vic and I had before the accident.
He had his hands balled into a fist, his face was red with rage and now I see this Mike is far
from that Mike by far

"Uhmm yeah sure" I said under my breath.

"Promise me." He said, more like ordered.

"Yes. Mike I promise." I said.

"Good." He said smiling a bit.

"So why do you care all of a sudden?" I asked a bit curious.

He sighed before saying
"Look man. I’m sorry about what happened with the hospital. I guess I was just mad. I need my brother to you know." He admitted.

"Im really sorry Kell, after Jesse and the guys had told me about the whole story I just felt bad, it was an accident and not your fault." He said this time looking down on the ground feeling sorry.

"Its ok I understand." I said. trying to make him feel a little bit better, We all go through those sometimes so I know how that feels. I didn't wanna make him feel bad about it.

"I really am sorry " He said with an apologetic look.

"Yeah. I know, I forgive you" I said to lighten him up a bit. There was a short pause before I started off again.

"So How are you coping? " I asked Mike trying to change the subject.

" I dont know but I’ve been good though, but just not the same." He admitted.
"Well at first it was hard. I cant stop thinking about my bro, I miss him and its really hard not to cry infront of everybody, I mean I cant let them see my vulnerable side. I’ve been drinking all of the time and I’ve been with a lot of girls. I dont really--I- I felt like I lost my rock and I dont really know which way to go. " I notice a single tear fell down to his lap but he immediately hold back the cries.

"You’re much worse though." He added with a little chuckle.

"I know. I guess I never really got over it. Got over him actually, and I hate it because everybody else seem to have move on but me. I mean how can they just shrugged him off that easily you know?.. Didnt he mean something to them?" I said looking down at the ground. I’m trying so hard not to let the tears fall cause when they do, It’ll be all night.

"Well some people could be such dicks, really " He chuckled a bit at his statement but there
was still seriousness in it.

"And if it makes you feel a bit better, I haven’t really moved on from him too and I hate that, how people could still smile and laughed without him its just not the same and no matter how hard I try to be happy I just cant. I feel like betraying him If I try and forget him" He said with his hands into a fist, He was getting frustrated at the thought. I place a comforting hand on his and he relaxed a bit

"Well its always nice to talk to somebody who understands." I said giving him a faint smile.

---

Mike and I just talked mostly to keep each other sane and just enjoy each other’s company.
I feel sad for Mike. He could try and act all tough outside but deep down, I could see He’s broken, he really miss his brother. It makes me feel a bit better just to know that somebody else still cares for Vic as much as I do.

Its a bit dark out here now. I looked at my watch, Oh its already 8:30 pm. I didnt even noticed

"Hey Mike its getting a bit late, I think you should go get going" I said with a smile

"Aaw. you sure?" He whined like a little kid.

"Yeah. Take a rest buddy, you must be tired " I said.

"Ok but I’ll be here tomorrow okay?..." he said more like asked.

"yeah sure, whatever floats your boat I guess"

"Ok cool. you’ll be ok now?" he asked

"Yeah Mike see you." He then stood up and got to his car and started driving home.

Once again I’m all alone.. thinking about Vic, Vic, Vic,Vic, your brother needs you. We need you.

Notes