Wonderless

Its been a month since I got out from the hospital.and all I could think about since then is Vic... where could he possibly be? I hope that wherever he is.. He’s ok. just thinking about him makes me cry. It hurts so much.

"Hey buddy. your’e crying again" Jesse nudge my shoulders while looking at me with concern eyes. I was now currently staying with him because I cant bare to be alone in Vic and I’s apartment it hurts too much, it reminds me of him, but staying at Jesse’s doesn't make it hurt any less.

"I cant.. stop.. thinking about... him... Jess " I said through sobs.

"He’s gonna be okay. Kell. He will be when you are" He said trying to cheer me up.

"what am I gonna do now?" I said trying to be positive.

"I say we go find him. Like right now. I’ll even call the guys to help us. If you want. "

"Thats a great idea Jess!" he just nod and went out to make a call. I on the other hand, took out the picture of Vic that I had in my wallet. I grab some paper and tape in the drawer and stick the picture in place after that I grab a sharpie from the table and write ’MISSING’ on the paper together with my cellphone number. I’ll make flyers with this; I’ll reproduce this later when we’re outside.

This is it. the first step to finding Vic, I wont give up now, knowing that he’s somewhere out there. He’s not dead. my Vic is not dead, not until they found he’s body but that's enough to keep me going.

-- after an hour 9:00 am

"Ok so where do we even start? " Justin asked. we are in the local Michigan city. standing outside the central Mall to be exact.

"Well, we could start by handing out these flyers." Gabe said while picking some flyers from my hands.

"Yeah lets" Jack joined while picking some, in my hands too.

"Ok. you guys could go do that while I stick some in the posts somewhere" Jesse said.

"Ok. I guess I’ll go ask some pedestrians passing by." I said while trying to keep a positive vibe.

"lets do this guys! " Justin said while putting his hands up in the air so we can hi-five it.

-- 12:00 pm
still no progress but I'm not giving up. I'm never giving up.

"Hey Kell. the guys already took their lunch break. I think you should too " a concerned Jesse said.

"Naah. thanks man. I'm not really hungry" I said. Its true. right now I don't have the appetite to eat.

"ohh Ok if your’e sure" he said smiling but still look concern.

--8:30 pm
"Excuse me Miss. have you seen this guy?"

"No sorry"

"Oh alright. thanks."

"Hey Kell. its getting pretty late already I think we should go home. the guys are already waiting in the car" Jesse told me

"Oh ok" I said as much as I didn't want to go, I know the guys are tired so maybe we’ll do this again tomorrow.

-- 9:30 pm at Jesse’s

"Man! I'm pretty tired. Night Kell" Jesse said as he head to his room.

"Night" I said as I went to the room Jesse made me sleep at. As soon as I open the door I immediately collapse in the bed. I didn't realize how tired I was until I laid in the bed, but before anything else I stood up to go and remove my clothes leaving me with only my boxers cause that’s how I sleep and then I finally laid in bed again.

-- 10:00 pm

I couldnt sleep. I’m thinking of him again. I keep looking at the ceiling like they have the answers to where Vic is.

--11:00 pm

And now I’m crying again for some reason I keep thinking about our last moments together, to the fight that we had and to the things he said and did that made me realized that after all the time that we had together I’m still in love with him just like it’s the first time. I miss him so much. where could you possibly be Vic?..

--12:00 am

I had lost track of the time. I can’t even sleep obviously. I need to rest. Dammit! Vic why can’t I stop thinking about you?! .. I just hope your’e ok.. wherever you are.

-- 4:00 am

I’m tired. I gave up trying to sleep hours ago. I went down stairs and plopped in the couch making myself comfortable I opened the t.v. and just left it out there pretending to watch something even though my mind was somewhere else.... more like someone.

Notes