Kellin's POV

November

I dont know... after the talk me and the guys had, I apologized to them and we were all friends again. They visit me quite often too but not as often as Mike. Mike visits me here everyday. We talk about random stuff and just hang. I really like Mike being here with me keeping me companion and all.

December 31

Days passed. Im still here I dont even know what time of the month it is anymore...
Mike spended his birthday here with me. I feel kinda sad for him. He broke down on his birthday telling me how his brother never forgets and that they always spend it together every year and now its just not the same he said. I tried my best to fill out for Vic
while he was not here, I hope it work somehow but nobody really could replaced Vic. As for Christmas, well it was alright. couples everywhere but I dont really mind there business it just made me miss Vic even more..

January

New year. New begginings they say, but Im still here, still hung up. I dont really know what to do with my life anymore. I’ve been cutting more often too I just cant control myself but not too deep, I just want to feel him next to me thats all. I miss Vic, I feel so, so lost without him. Mike constantly visits me here and I gotta admit it made me feel happy even though its only for a short time. I think he’s also kinda getting suspicious about me cutting but I dont know. I dont really know anything anymore


February 10

Vic's POV

I heard a knock on my door and It opened. I looked at it to see Jenna.

"Hey you’ve been here for quite a while now. whats wrong?" she ask with concern on her tone.

"Uhmm nothing. Im just thinking" I said looking at her blandly. I moved over to the side of the bed so she can sit with me.

"Is it those dreams again?" she ask.

"Not really."

"Then whats bothering you?" she said while rubbing up and down on my back to ease me up.

"I dont know. I feel like Im missing out on something today" I admitted sheepishly.

"Aww. Well I dont know, what day is it today?" she ask with a smile on her face. Why is she smiling?

"I dont know Febuary 10. " I said. looking down. she gave out a chuckle. why is she so happy? .. she’s weird sometimes.

"Silly Vic. Well can you come down stairs with me and go find out why you feel a little bit old today?" she said.

"Oh and I need you to bring your wallet with you its just a little something." she added. I gave her a confuse look but then nodded.

We went down stairs and headed to the dining area and I saw Jaime, Tony, Alex, Jack, Austin and Flitch looking at me with smiles on their faces.

"What’s everybody so happy about?" I asked. They just giggled like little girls.

"Oh I dont know Vic. go check out your driver’s license you silly." Jack said. I did as he said and gave them a confuse look.
"Check your birthdate" Austin said.

I looked at it and smile creep into my face as I realized that today is my birthday.

"Happy Birthday Vic." Jenna greeted with a smile and the others soon greeted me too.

"Well c’mon you guys lets go celebrate Vic’s birthday at Mccy D’s" Jaime sang.

"yeah" they all said in unison, and the next thing I know we were all running to the garage and getting into the car. I dont even know how we managed to fit in just one car, all eight of us but we did.

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Mike’s POV

I woke up today feeling quite upset. I dont even know why, maybe its a teen hormone thing.
I went to the bathroom to get fix before I go to Kellin.
Kellin. Kellin. Kellin, I dont know what he does but whatever it is I dont like because it makes me feel all warm up inside.
Maybe I just miss my brother, i mean Vic is the only person I share how Im feeling but now that he’s not here at the moment, Kellin fills in. I got out of the shower and went to go wear some clothes. I was halfway down stairs, getting ready to go when I heard my mom and dad conversing.

"Well, I dont think it would be good for all of us." my dad said. Which made me a little curious. Hhmm what were they talking about? ... I stopped and sit down the stairs for a while and try to listen to them.

"But its our son’s birthday..." my mom trailed. Its not my birthday today.

"yeah, but dont you think.its about time? I mean its been a year and I dont think its good for all of us anymore. I mean especially for Mike. He’s been going out quite often" dad said.

Welp.. there talking about me again and I couldnt care less. I continued walking down the stairs and as soon as they realized I was there they stopped talking.

"Im going out for a while" I said breaking the silence. They just nodded.

I got to the car and just stayed there. I feel so upset but I dont even know the reason. I dont feel like going to Kellin anymore. I just dont. hmm I think I need to go get this anger out for a while and I know just the right place. I started the car and start driving for the closest bar in town.

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Kellin POV

Its Vic’s birthday today, one of the reasons why I feel extra sad today. I miss him so so much. Happy Birthday Vic I hope your having fun. I looked at my watch. 12:30 pm. that's strange usually Mike’s already here but I guess he’s not coming today, probably
celebrating his brother’s birthday or something. Well at least one of us has a life.
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Mike POV

5:30 pm

"Another round" I yelled at Rian, he was the bartender at this bar, I always visited here before Kellin and I became friends, I guess we kinda grew close because I drink here all the time.

"Jeez. Your extra pissed today. wanna tell me about it?" Rian asked.

"I dont know man I just feel off today. I dont know why. " I sighed.

"Well. Here you go" he handed me the drink. I chugged it down. my phone started vibrating which cause me to jump a bit.

"Hel...lo" I slurred.

"Michael Christopher Fuentes!! did you get yourself drunk again?" My mother scolded through the phone. I rolled my eyes at the full name.

"I just had a few ma. Anyway why are you calling?"

"Its 5:30 we got dinner at 6"

"Okay." I said.

"see you then. Love you mijo"

"Love you to ma" she hung up.

I paid the bill and got up. I then head towards the car and started heading home.

---

I head to the dining area and ..

"I dont really understand why we need to eat dinner together I mean we dont even do this anymore not eversince... Hey whats with all of this?" I asked I saw a table with a cake and a lot of foods kinda like were having an occasion.

"You forgot his Birthday didnt you?" pa questioned. he’s eyes were moist like he was about to cry.

Birthday? Who’s fucking birthday? Wait what day is it today? I took out my phone in my pocket to go check the date. Febuary 10.

Tears started streaming down my face as the realization of my brother’s Birthday got to me. I cant believe I forgot. I forgot Vic’s Birthday and he never forgets mine, not even once.

"Im sorry buddy. Im so fucking sorry" I whisphered like he could even hear me.

"Its ok Mijo just sit down" Ma said trying to control herself from breaking down.

"Viv. I told you this was a bad idea" my pa sighed. This family is a mess without Vic.

"Bad Idea to celebrate your son’s birthday?" I questioned. I didnt really care if I was being rude at this point. Why were they shrugging Vic off too?

"Michael" ma warned trying to tell me ’not to start’ .

"I dont know if I can do this... I’m sorry. I cant.... I just.... cant" I said through sobs. i saw pa stood up from the table probably leaving too.

"Boys please... Sit down...Have a little respect for Vic. Its his birthday. Your not gonna go fight today. Not this day..." ma said.

"Hon, I dont think this is working.. I just... miss .. my .. son..." and pa finally broke down..
This is breaking my heart to see them like this. This family cant even function well without Vic. We’re such mess.

"please lets just move on and get pass this... " pa blurted out.

"No. V-vic is not dead. My baby is not dead...my -- my bab-- my poor mijo" Mom broke.

"Ssh. Honey.." pa went to comfort her...

"He wont be dead if he’s always alive in our hearts.... We should be moving on, its a new year too, lets just t-try to be hh-happy for him wherever he is... Lets be a family again...For Vic." pa send out a little speech through his sobs. It breaks my heart to see them like this... I miss my brother... We all do... I miss us all getting along.. Maybe pa is right.. Maybe its about time we move on.. From all of this..

The whole dinner time was silent. You could only hear the clanking of the plates and silverware.

After dinner I immediately went to my room and now Im laying in bed staring at the dumb ceiling thinking about what pa said earlier. He is right. I’ll only feel sad and lonely if I think about my brother too much. I should try and start coping. All this thinking actually makes my head hurt, I think I should go take a drive.
-----------------

Vic's POV

Happy 31st birthday to me.... This day has been fun. I have such the best friends ever.
I plunged at the bed, I kinda feel exhausted. I think I should go sleep now.

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Kellin POV

"I love you so much Vic" I whisphered. As soon as I opened my eyes the pain started kicking in from another cut I had just made.

"So how long have you been doing this?" I jumped a bit at the voice I heard and immedietly pulled my hand closer to me.

"Mike its a bit late, what are you doing here?" I shrug off his question.

"Dont try to avoid the topic, I knew it. I had an inkling, I just didnt push for it. I taught you knew better than this Kell!" a very pissed Mike scolded.

"I--I -I" I try to form a word but I couldnt think of any.

"Give me it!" he ordered reaching his hand out.

"I-I cant.. Please Mike" I begged.

"GIVE. ME. IT." he growled at me. I could tell he was getting even more pissed now and that the last thing I want. I handed him the pocket knife whilst looking down at the ground ashamed.

"why?" he asked I could tell from the sound of his voice he was about to break down

"Vic is gone. I feel so alone Mike.. All the time, I mean sure you and the guys visit me but at the end of the day, Im always gonna be alone and I just wanna feel him with me again.."

"Kellin listen to me, its been a year. Dont you think its about time?.. Look at yourself.. Your slowly killing yourself Kell, for who ? For somebody who’s already dead. " Mike didnt just said that. He’s sobbing, why is he saying this things??...

"He’s Vic. ...He’s your brother... how could you say that? He’s not...dead.. Mike. W-w.. H-how... C-c.." I started breaking down.

"The p-possibilit-ty o-of Vic being dead is not that very low Kell and I know as much as you want to make yourself believe, you know this too. You’ve been in a car accident for Christ sake. He’s body was gone. You think he’s alive? I dont think so... " He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me. I just cried back there.

"He isn’t coming back Kellin."

"go home Mike your drunk"

"I might be drunk but atleast I know better."

"Can you please just STOP" okay this the part where I just snap.

"Look, its a new year.. Start a new Chapter of your life.. Without Him. Move on Kellin.. S-save your Heart.." I cant stop this waterfalls.. Mike just gave up... But then again everybody does.

"Just go Mike." I said coldly. He gave out a very tired sigh.

"I wanna try and get pass this, and its best if you do the same" He got up and started walking away, he stopped to look at me one last time.

"A-and I-if He is al-ive, If you guys are really meant to be together.. Love will find a way".

Notes

well atleast Vic is happy here right? :)